Authors: Michelle Morgan
‘As far as I can see, she was well treated and happy,’ remembered Bob Stotts, while his mother added, ‘Norma Jeane spent her teen years in a very good neighbourhood environment with an adult who was just as concerned for her welfare as any parent might be.’
The house on Archwood Street, where Norma Jeane had settled with Grace and Doc, backed on to the home of the Dougherty family, who were very close friends with the Goddards. Ethel Dougherty could often be seen chatting over the back fence with Grace, and the two of them enjoyed many a plan and scheme over the years. Ethel’s son was a strapping young man called Jim, who was five years older than Norma Jeane, and considered both Bebe and Norma Jeane as just kids who weren’t particularly interesting in any way.
At the time, Jim was dating a young woman called Doris Drennen, the 1940 May Queen of Santa Barbara County. She had met him while living with her sister Joan and brother-in-law John Ingram, who also happened to be Jim Dougherty’s teacher at Van Nuys High School. She remembers: ‘Norma Jeane was a couple of years younger than me. After school she would come over to Jimmy’s house and wait for her foster-mother to pick her up after she got off work. I would see her when Jimmy and I would stop by for Jimmy to change clothes or retrieve something. I usually stayed in the car and waited for him to return. She would be playing ball by herself in front of Jimmy’s house. She’d bounce the ball then throw it in the air and catch it, peek at me then throw it again.’
Neither girl knew it at the time, but Doris would become quite a sore point for Norma Jeane during the next few years. It all started during 1941, when the Goddards decided to move into a bigger home at 6707 Odessa Street, where they had lived
in the late 1930s. Grace and Doc quickly went about doing the place up, and eventually took photos of their work, showing a comfortable home with a large dining table, rocking chair, piano, many books, a china cabinet and floor-length mirror. In September 1941, Norma Jeane and foster-sister Bebe enrolled as students at Van Nuys High School. This proved a bit of a problem regarding transport, so Grace, who was still in contact with Ethel Dougherty, asked her friend if Jim could run the girls home from school in the evening. He reluctantly agreed and it was arranged that Bebe and Norma Jeane would walk from Van Nuys High to the Dougherty house, where they would wait for Jim to take them home.
The first time this happened, Jim was sleeping in preparation for the ‘graveyard shift’ at Lockheed, where he worked. When Norma Jeane and Bebe arrived, they were so noisy they woke up the exasperated Jim, who immediately told them off. However, Norma Jeane’s apologetic reaction to his outburst won him over, and he found it impossible to be angry with the girls any more.
Shortly before this, Jim had proposed to his girlfriend, Doris, who turned him down immediately. Jim later said she had told him he wouldn’t be able to keep her in the manner to which she wanted to become accustomed and the relationship came to an end. However, Jim’s heartbreak was Norma Jeane’s delight, and she decided to try her hand at flirting with the handsome older boy. During their car rides she would make a point of always sitting in the middle; touching Jim’s knee as she laughed at his jokes. Indeed, it got so intense that Bebe would often feel completely left out of the proceedings: ‘As I recall, there was quite a flirtation when Jimmy was bringing us home from school,’ she later told the ‘All About Marilyn’ fan club.
These flirtations eventually led to a first date for the couple, which was ‘encouraged’ by Grace Goddard and Ethel Dougherty and took place at the Christmas party of Doc’s company, Adel Precision Products. There they danced together and Jim was surprised to discover he was having a good time, while Norma Jeane seemed to enjoy herself too and leaned in close during the
slow dances. They began to date, but although both held each other in high regard and enjoyed going out together, Jim worried about the five-year age gap between them. The relationship was in danger of fizzling out, just as a devastating announcement came from the Goddards: they had plans to leave California and move to West Virginia – and would not be taking Norma Jeane with them.
When Grace and Doc decided to move out of California, they approached Sam and Enid Knebelkamp to ask if they would be willing to take Norma Jeane into their home. Understandably, however, they had their hands full with their own daughter and had to turn the proposition down. Several other plans also fell through and eventually – feeling the need for a quick solution – Grace approached her neighbour Ethel Dougherty about the possibility of Jim marrying Norma Jeane.
Knowing how upset Jim had been when his relationship with Doris Drennen had ended, Ethel believed that a marriage to Norma Jeane would be a good alternative and spoke to her son about it. Unfortunately for her, however, he laughed off the suggestion, declaring that their relationship wasn’t serious and, besides, he felt that she was far too young to be marriage material.
But when Ethel explained that Grace was worried Norma Jeane would have to return to the orphanage, he showed a glimmer of interest in ‘saving her’; so much so that before he could change his mind, Ethel excitedly announced, ‘Let’s set it up for June.’
Some people have insisted that the entire courtship and marriage were only executed because of the ‘arrangement’ between Grace and Ethel Dougherty, but others insist that the couple did have a lot of feelings for each other and would have probably married at some point anyway.
‘The idea of an arranged marriage almost made him vomit!’ remembers Paul Kanteman, Jim’s nephew. ‘Yes there was an
introduction and maybe a little push in that direction, but he would not allow anyone to push him into anything, let alone marriage. Believe me, he would never have gotten married to her if he hadn’t had great feelings for her. He wasn’t the worst looking guy on the block, and could get just about anybody he wanted or pursued.’ Indeed, Jim later admitted enjoying being thought of as Norma Jeane’s ‘Knight in Shining Armour’ and agreed to save her from the orphanage.
When Marilyn spoke of the marriage years later, she never mentioned Jim as a knight in shining armour. Instead, she always spoke without emotion, saying that the Goddards could not afford to take her to Virginia, so, ‘Instead of going back into a boarding house or with another set of foster-parents, I got married.’ She also declared that ‘it brought me neither happiness nor pain. It was like being retired to a zoo.’
It is true that Norma Jeane felt tremendously let down and abandoned by Grace Goddard and despised the idea of going back to the orphanage, so marriage was the better option at the time. However, Jim later insisted that they were genuinely happy with each other, and fell more and more in love every day. If Norma Jeane had any feelings to the contrary, she kept them well hidden but did admit to worrying that her future husband might be marrying her out of duty or obligation.
The couple went out shopping for a ring and, to Jim’s amazement, Norma Jeane insisted on a cheaper one than the ring he originally picked out. They returned to the Dougherty home to break the news that they were officially engaged, and Norma Jeane appeared extremely happy to other members of the family. Nevertheless, during a family picnic at Lake Sherwood, she was unusually pensive, despite Jim serenading her with his guitar. ‘Her only contribution to the fun was a quiet smile of pride – and six lemon pies,’ recalled sister-in-law Elyda Nelson.
Jim and Norma Jeane began dating regularly, and spent time with each other at the beach, hiking in the Hollywood Hills, boating at Pop’s Willow Lake and fishing at Lake Sherwood. It was at the lake that she first spent time with Jim’s nephew, Paul
Kanteman, who was around eight years old at the time: ‘As I remember, I thought she was very pretty and nice. We had a row boat and Norma Jeane rowed while we fished. She did do a good job of rowing, and we caught some nice bass.’
Norma Jeane wanted to finish high school, ‘but I discovered that school and marriage don’t mix. We were poor, so naturally my job was to keep house on the lowest possible budget.’ She made arrangements to leave University High School, but when she told her social studies teacher, he exclaimed that she would ruin her life if she got married, insisting she probably didn’t even know what love was. It was this decision, to leave school before graduation, which would plague her for the rest of her life. She lied about it in interviews, claiming she graduated after her marriage, and forever tried to ‘catch up’ with her education by attended courses and paying for private tuition. But in the summer of 1942, the decision was made and she left fulltime education, shortly before her marriage, to concentrate on becoming Mrs Dougherty.
The wedding preparations were hastily but lavishly prepared and the couple received various items from friends and family, including a coffee set, gold-coloured vases, bath towels, wash cloths, embroidered dish towels and: ‘The most beautiful cocktail set I have ever seen in my life . . . It is really beautiful.’ The ceremony was to take place at 432 South Bentley, the home of Chester and Doris Howell, which had been picked out because Norma Jeane loved the idea of a ceremony based around the large, winding staircase. Aunt Ana busied herself with the dress, while Norma Jeane picked out the wedding rings, and notices appeared in the local paper. Even one of the younger members of the family, Paul Kanteman, had lots to do on the run-up to the big day: ‘A couple of weeks before the event my Mother and I went to Shulman’s Men’s store in Van Nuys to buy me some clothes that would be fitting for a ring bearer: a new pair of black pants, white shirt and black, shiny shoes. I remember going to school and telling all the kids that my Uncle was going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world and that I was to
be their ring bearer. We had a rehearsal and I was taught how to do the hesitation step and how to hold the pillow that would have the ring pinned to it. I practiced that step all the time so that it would be just right and my Uncle Jim would be proud of me. If my mother asked me to do something, it was always to the hesitation beat – I’m sure everyone was glad when it was all over and my productivity level returned to full-time!’
Norma Jeane had been keen to live with her in-laws once the marriage had taken place, but on 8 June 1942 the couple found and leased a furnished apartment at 4524 Vista Del Monte and, according to Paul Kanteman, they were the first to live there. ‘It was small but nice,’ he remembered. ‘It had a small bedroom, living room, bathroom and a tiny kitchen; so tiny that if you were to turn around too quickly, you might stick your own finger in your eye!’
Tiny or not, it would be home for Mr and Mrs Dougherty, and Norma Jeane was so proud of it that she later drew a detailed floor plan and mailed it to Aunt Grace. ‘We sure have a cute little house,’ she wrote. ‘I’m going to take a picture of it and send it to you.’ Watching Norma Jeane take such pleasure in preparing her new home made Jim realize just how much he loved her. ‘I sometimes thought my heart would burst. She was everything to me,’ he wrote.
On 19 June 1942 at precisely 8.30 p.m., Norma Jeane glided down the winding staircase to be given in marriage by Aunt Ana. She looked every bit the blushing bride, shaking with nerves and dressed in an embroidered lace gown with long sleeves, full skirt and sweetheart neckline; her veil was white lace and she carried a bouquet of white gardenias.
Neither Gladys nor the Goddards were in attendance, but Mrs Bolender was there, at the insistence of the bride. Jim’s sister Elyda remembered her as ‘a docile and subdued little person, her pride and devotion cast a glow of warmth over the whole event’. Aunt Ana played the music whilst Jim’s brother Marion was best man and Lorraine Allen, a friend from University High, was Norma Jeane’s Maid of Honour. Also present were
Joan and John Ingram, sister and brother-in-law of Jim’s ex-girlfriend Doris Drennen. Doris later recalled: ‘My sister Joan knew Norma Jeane better than I did. One time she told me that Norma Jeane was clever in using the two assets she had, her figure and her pretty face. Both would get her ahead in life.’
In all the wedding ceremony went without a hitch, and immediately afterwards there was a small celebration at the home of the Howells. This arrangement had caused some tension just days before the big day, as Elyda Nelson recalled: ‘Someone brought up the question of who would give the reception after the wedding. Norma Jeane spoke up promptly and said, “The bride’s parents are supposed to take care of that.” “I know dear,” one of the catty feminine neighbours said, “but you have no parents.” The look of sadness Norma Jeane gave me I’ll never forget, and to this day I detest the thought of that offending woman.’
After the reception, Jim’s brother Marion thought it would be funny to ‘kidnap’ Norma Jeane and force both her and Jim to go to the Florentine Gardens, a nightclub on Hollywood Boulevard. This too caused tension, however, when a waiter accidentally spilled soup all over Jim, and then he was persuaded to dance on stage with a chorus girl, much to Norma Jeane’s chagrin.
Years later, Jim reflected on the evening and decided that possibly Norma Jeane was looking for a reason to argue with him, as she was not looking forward to their wedding night. Plagued with insecurities, she had asked Grace Goddard if it were possible to ‘just be friends’ with her husband, and had ploughed through a sex education book given to her by Aunt Ana. Neither the talk nor the book made her feel any more confident, however, and on the wedding night itself, she spent a long time locked in the bathroom.
Although Norma Jeane tried her hand at cooking – baking bread every other day and experimenting on her new relatives – her lack of skills soon became very apparent: she put salt in Jim’s coffee by mistake, and famously cooked carrots and peas just because she liked the colour. Things were made worse by
the fact that Jim’s brothers, Tom and Marion, had thought it a good idea to stock the newlywed’s cupboards with food. Unfortunately, the kindly gesture wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, as Paul Kanteman remembered some sixty years later: ‘They decided stocking the cupboards would be a great wedding present, as Uncle Jim and Aunt Norma would surely appreciate this. These guys were practical jokers and took all the labels off every item on the shelf. A lot of cans look alike as far as size is concerned, especially when they are undressed. Aunt Norma asked me to have lunch with her at the new house, and it was like a treasure hunt, shaking this can and that can until we found one that sounded right. We were going to have tuna salad sandwiches that day, but the can of tuna turned out to be water-chestnuts, and the peas turned out to be fruit cocktail! So when I say the lunch was different it really was, but Aunt Norma kept a stiff upper lip and laughed about it.’