Marked by Grief (9 page)

You didn't make those choices that led up to your brother, my best friend, getting hit by a fucking drunk driver on some stupid stretch of road. I don't give a shit what your mother said to you or why you think she hates you. She was wrong to say those things to you.

And you're dead wrong if you think she isn't hurting just as much as you are."

Kit could only stare at him, his mouth gaping open.

"Now, get up. Cal your mother and tel her you are spending the night here. Nothing more, nothing less.

If she says anything that hurts you, hand the phone to me. If she yels at you, you hand the phone to me. You don't let her hurt you or make you angry. You're going to do this because you are an adult and a responsible adult keeps their promises. I told her you would cal her if you were staying late. So you wil." With that Jason roled off of him and then grabbed Kit's hand to help him sit up.

Kit silently picked up the phone. His hands were trembling but he could do this. He nodded. He had to do this. Jason hadn't moved from his side and his warmth was pressed against the length of Kit's leg.

Jason would help keep him safe. He dialed.

"Jason? Is that you again? Darling, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were lonely and missing me,"

his mother said as she answered. She was giggling and he could hear other women talking in the background about making more margaritas. He hadn't heard her sound this happy since Christmas. She'd been drinking then too.

"It's me," Kit said as he tightly shut his eyes. He didn't want to do this. Didn't want to hear her voice again. Not through a phone.

The giggling stopped instantly. "Oh, wel…

Helo, Kit."

He gulped. "Hi."

"You having fun?"

That actualy brought a smile to his lips as he opened his eyes and looked at the line of leather instruments Jason had puled out. "Loads. Jason's showing me his toys." Beside him, Jason chuckled.

"That's good… Very good."

"I'm staying the night," Kit said quickly, getting to the point.

"Al right. You boys have lots of fun." She hung up the phone, as eager to be done with him as he was with her.

"We used to be close," Kit said as he handed the phone back to Jason.

He nodded. "I remember. Death changes a lot of things, almost never for the better." He put his phone on the nightstand after turning it off.

"You don't leave it on in case of cals?" Kit asked him, clearly surprised.

Jason shook his head. "I'm with you right now.

Nothing is important enough to interrupt that." Kit felt a flutter in his bely. No one had ever said that to him before. He'd never been first. "Stand up and take your pants off."

Kit looked up at him, startled. But Jason just looked back at him expectantly. "Go on."

He swalowed thickly as he forced his legs to work. He stood, wobbled, but managed to stay upright.

He started going toward the bathroom but a sharp word from Jason halted him. "Stay where you are."

Kit felt himself go red. Jason wanted to watch.

He'd never been watched before, not like this. They'd al changed before at the gym or at the swimming pool.

But it wasn't anything like this. He felt exposed and raw.

What if Jason didn't like what he saw? What if he was too smal? Kit fidgeted and shifted on his feet.

"I'm waiting," Jason reminded him.

Kit forced himself to look up at him. This was Jason. He could do this. He took a deep breath and made his hands go to the button of his jeans. Did Jason like it when guys went slowly? Or fast? Should he tease him first? Kit didn't know how to tease. At this point he barely knew how to stay standing as he saw Jason's cheeks flush with desire. He wanted to be good for him.

He wished he hadn't stopped eating regularly. He looked much better with more weight on him. And if he'd worked out a little, that would have been great too.

His fingers worked on the button, struggling as his hands shook. Finaly he got it open and slid down the zipper. He wasn't wearing underwear. He never did.

And although he knew that Jason could barely see anything right now, he felt nearly naked as he stood there.

And Jason just kept looking at him. There was no encouragement, but no displeasure either. Did he like what he saw as Kit stuck his thumbs in the band of his jeans and slowly began pushing the rough material over his hips? It was impossible to tel from Jason's blank expression. His gaze tracked Kit's slow movements, but that was it. Kit's jeans hit the floor with a whoosh and he stepped out of them, kicking them aside. His cock was in ful view now, proud and wanting as it bobbed against his bely. He faced off against Jason, his mouth set into a stubborn line as he watched him slowly rise from the bed.

Kit tried to cover himself as Jason came up beside him. "Let me see," Jason commanded him, his voice dark and beautiful to Kit's ears. But he flinched at the first touch of Jason's fingers on his shoulder.

"Am I just for you to look at then?" Kit asked him bitingly.

Jason gave his hair a light tug. "You wil answer me when I ask you a question, and if you decide at any point tonight that you don't want to continue this, then you may tel me so. I wil not gag you tonight. Not just because I want you to have the freedom to tel me if something is too much, but also because I want to hear every perfect gasp and moan you wil make tonight. My rules are simple. You must be honest with me in al things, you wil not hide yourself from me in any fashion and you wil tel me if you don't like something. If you can't obey those three simple rules then we wil stop right now."

Jason's hand dropped to the patch of fine hair right above his cock. He couldn't breathe through the lump in his throat and couldn't think beyond the rushing of his heart as it beat loudly in his ears. "Kit?"

Kit nodded. Whatever Jason wanted, it was a yes. Jason's fingers went further down, his thumb stroking over the base of Kit's cock just before he cupped his sack in his hand. "I require an answer,"

Jason told him, his voice soft in Kit's ear.

"Yes," Kit hissed.

Jason dropped his hand and Kit made a moue of disappointment. "Sit on the edge of the bed." Kit was quick to folow his instructions. He thought for a moment to put his hands on his lap but thought better of it as he caught Jason watching him.

Jason stood in front of him and Kit couldn't help but watch as he ran his hands over his muscular torso, pausing to pay attention to those silver rings Kit liked so much. Kit blushed and kept watching as Jason ran his hand over his stomach, touching himself everywhere Kit had wanted to for years. He circled his navel and traced the colorful tattoos spread over his hips and molded onto his stomach until his fingers dipped into the band of his lounge pants. Kit's breath caught as he dropped his pants in one smooth movement. He could barely breathe as Jason kicked his pants away and al of the man's beauty was on display for him to see. He'd seen Jason naked before. He was sure of it. But he'd never realy looked before. And now Jason was giving him an open invitation to look as much as he wanted to.

"You need to breathe, Kit," he said with a chuckle. "You can look for as long as you want. But you've got to breathe."

He nodded and forced himself to take a rushing breath that felt far too hot for his lungs. "You're so beautiful."

Jason blushed. "Thanks. That means a lot coming from you." He came closer. "Now, lean back, use a pilow if you have to in order to keep weight off your tattoo. And spread your thighs."

"Wha—" Kit had barely made a sound as Jason dropped to his knees in front of him on the floor. He was quick to obey, his heart pounding in his chest as Jason's hand slid over his cock.

"Tel me, did Dale the asshole give you oral sex?" Jason asked him. He was so good, knowing exactly how to touch him that Kit could barely hold on to a single thought. He shook his head quickly. Dale hadn't done anything but fuck him. This was nothing like that. "Good," Jason said before Kit felt the first brush of the man's warm breath against the head of his cock.

And then his hips bucked as Jason took him into his mouth. Kit panted, trying not to tremble as Jason swirled his tongue over Kit's cock. His hand joined his mouth, stroking him as his mouth quickly folowed. The combination had Kit moaning loudly as he clutched the sheets. He'd never felt something so good, had never lost his mind to the delicious pleasure someone else could offer him. And it was Jason. Oh God. The man sucking on his cock was the same one he'd been in love with for so many long years.

Jason's moans joined his and Kit looked over to see the man stroking his own cock, puling at the angry purple head in a display Kit found entirely too arousing. He was getting close as he watched Jason touch himself, his large cock being stroked in long, fast movements.

And then his climax hit with a force like he'd never felt before and he cried out Jason's name as his hips bucked into the man's mouth. He lay there, trembling and panting, as his eyes came back into focus and Jason slowly used his mouth to clean him off.

Kit watched as he rose back up on his feet and gave him a smile. "Thank you," he whispered.

Jason nodded. "Turn over, Kit. On your bely, knees on the floor, legs apart." He tossed a couple of pilows onto the floor. "Rest your knees on these."

Though Kit's movements were slow and languid, he did what Jason wanted. He sighed happily as he rested his head on his arms. He was relaxed and feeling better than he had in weeks.

"Jason, I—" he cut off abruptly as a stinging smack came across his right butt cheek. He gasped as a second one joined it on the other side. He watched Jason over his shoulder. The man gave him a grin which he returned as best he could as another smack landed on his skin.

"You have a beautiful ass." Jason stroked his hand over Kit's reddened skin. "And I love seeing my mark on it." Kit blushed deeply. Another stinging smack landed but this time the instant pain was replaced with a tingling rush that went up Kit's spine and then landed squarely in his groin. He moaned the next time Jason's palm made contact with his tender skin. And the next had him squirming against the side of Jason's bed as he moaned.

"Good job," he told Kit as he ran his hands over the red skin of his ass. Kit smiled. He liked that he had pleased Jason. He looked back as he felt something soft and leathery run over his skin. "Now, normaly I'd whip your back, your ass and the back of your thighs. But you'l never feel the flogger over your back. It would be too painful with your scars. If someone ever wants to do that to you, you tel them no and if they insist, you leave and get help." Kit pursed his lips. Again with the damn talk of someone else. "Nod if you understand," Jason told him. Kit nodded. He didn't want anyone else, but he didn't want Jason to stop either. The soft leather felt good against his skin, its caress warm and gentle against the tender flesh of his ass as Jason dragged it over him.

Until that first biting stroke came across the backs of his thighs and Kit cried out in surprise.

Another came, just as surprising as the first. Each stroke hurt less than the spankings had, but it was a different kind of stinging sensation that left him sore as each strand landed against him, each creating their own mark on his thighs. He had just started getting accustomed to the feel of the flogger when Jason took it away.

Kit looked back at him expectantly, waiting to see what would be next when he saw Jason drop to his knees behind him. "I'm going to enter you here in just a second, Kit. I want you to relax when I do and know I wil never hurt you intentionaly, but there wil be some pressure. I wil go slowly and we wil take our time. I promise you wil enjoy this far more than you did your first time." Kit nodded. That was easy enough. He'd already enjoyed this far more than anything he'd done with Dale. "Give me your hands, cross your wrists at your back." Kit was surprised but instantly complied, trying to hold as stil as possible. A moment later he felt the soft fluff of the cuff close around first his right wrist and then his left. Yes, he was trapped. But not realy.

Jason wasn't holding him prisoner. Kit just couldn't touch him. He puled a little, testing them at first, before he realized just how securely Jason had fastened them.

These weren't the cheap plastic handcuffs Bear used to put on him when they were kids and playing cops together that Kit used to be able to wiggle out of.

He knew he wouldn't be getting out of these until Jason let him and that security helped solidify something inside of him. He felt Jason slide a finger between the cuff and his wrist on both sides before the man's hands again returned to his hips. "They're not too tight. These wil keep you from touching yourself while I'm inside of you.

You'l come again, but not until I tel you that you can."

"Okay," Kit said quickly before Jason had to prompt him for a reply. He looked surprised at his wilingness but then that face Kit loved so very much smoothed into a smile.

Jason threaded his fingers into his and then rubbed his thumb against Kit's wrist. He closed his eyes and smiled, enjoying the gentle caress of the other man's touch. A smal smile flitted over Kit's lips as Jason leaned down and kissed the back of his neck.

"How do they feel?"

Kit smiled. "Odd. But okay."

That seemed to satisfy him as Jason nodded and turned away. "You'l have condoms on you at al times now. Not just when you plan to go to clubs. I don't expect you to be giving blow jobs in dark aleys, but I want you to be prepared. And it's your responsibility to keep yourself safe. No one else's. Any guy you're with has to wear them with you. No exceptions. If he refuses, you don't let him come near you." Kit could hear him tear open the package and nodded. "Never open it or put it on with your teeth. It's sexy as hel to put a condom on with your mouth. But you can puncture it if you aren't experienced. So don't do it. I've got an extra box I'm going to send you home with tomorrow."