Marriage by Mistake (38 page)

"So?" he asked. "Can we?"

Felicia tried, and failed, to come up with a
plausible reason to refuse his request. With an expression she
hoped was suitably off-putting, she gestured toward the living
room. "Please," she said. "Be my guest."

Troy grinned and gestured. "After you."

Felicia stifled a sigh as she descended the
rest of the stairs and led the way into the spacious living room.
Halfway into the room she turned and found Troy ogling a Tiffany
lamp.

"Wow," he said. "Your mother's house is way
classier than my uncle's."

Felicia's teeth clamped together. She didn't
think she had to accept small talk from him, not when it was taking
every ounce of strength she owned to maintain a cool and composed
exterior. "Troy," she said. "Your purpose?"

"Oh." He glanced over, looking sheepish.
"Yeah. Well, first I wanted to apologize for the way I brushed you
off the other night at the Club. It wasn't gracious. It wasn't
polite. And    " His grin quirked. "And you're very
welcome for the checks I managed to bring in. In fact   
" His smile widened as he pulled a piece of paper out of his
trouser pocket. "In fact, I have another one right here."

Felicia could only stand there,
flabbergasted, as he stepped toward her and held out the check.
He'd just apologized. He'd just admitted he'd brought in the other
checks. And his eyes as they met hers were...sincere.

Stunned, Felicia took the check from Troy's
outstretched hand. Her eyes took a second to focus, but eventually
took in that it was a check for
sixty thousand
dollars,
signed by Dean Singleton.

"It was only supposed to be twenty," Troy
admitted, and rocked onto the balls of his feet. "But when he found
out what it was for, he gave me this long, deep look and then
tripled the amount."

Gape-jawed, Felicia gazed from the check to
Troy. "You did this?" she asked, her voice hoarse.

Troy rocked back onto his heels. "Not only
did I do it, but I whipped Dean in the process. He went down like a
sack of potatoes. Ah!" Troy chuckled and shook his head. "There I
was telling him it wasn't going to make him feel any better to
knock my block off, and
I
ended up knocking
his
off.
And it
did
make
me
feel better!" Troy laughed out
loud then, and with definite relish.

"You
fought
Dean?" Felicia was
agog.

Troy tsked. "He begged me to." His head
tilted in the direction of the check that was held frozen between
Felicia's fingers. "He even paid me for it."

"But    I don't understand."

Troy sighed. "Suffice it to say, Dean needed
to get whipped, and...maybe I needed to be the one to do the
whipping. And now here I am, starting to believe I may really be
good at this, getting people to part with their money for a cause.
And    and    it feels
good
." Troy took
his hands out of his trouser pockets. "It feels really good to do
something for somebody else, to make a difference. You were
   Aw, hell, Felicia."

In two long strides, Troy was in front of
her. Dean's check wafted to the floor as Troy took hold of her
arms, drew her against him, and pressed his mouth to hers.

Felicia was too surprised to do anything but
accept Troy's kiss. It was    He was    She was
too overwhelmed to know.

Then Troy lifted his mouth and gave her a
chance to think. Or try to. Her eyes searched his now-somber face.
"I    I thought you didn't want to take credit."

"I didn't. That is, I was afraid to. Afraid
of...well, of what more you might expect of me."

"What more?"

"You know." He waved a hand. "Like you'd
think people could start to depend on me." His voice deepened.
"Like maybe you would start to depend on me."

"Oh, Troy..."

"I know, I know." He rolled his eyes. "You'd
never be so stupid as to depend on
me
, and I think maybe
that was the sticking point. While I didn't want you to depend on
me, I kind of
did
want you to depend on me." He gave her an
extremely un-Troy, very serious look. "I
do
want you to be
able to depend on me, to rely on me...to trust me. I want to be
that kind of man for you."

Felicia felt everything inside of her go
still. Had all of that come out of Troy's mouth? Troy's? But as she
looked into his eyes she knew it had. She knew she'd always
understood he had this in him. It had been part of his appeal, the
most dangerous part of all.

That he had the capacity to become something
exquisitely true and fine.

Slowly, Troy set her apart from him. His
expression had gone terribly serious. Clearly, he wanted her to
take this in, and figure it out. In a way...he was believing in
her
.

Felicia felt a deep pull inside. Oh, how she
wanted to believe in him. She wanted to engage with him, to be
together with him, both physically and emotionally. But
   but   

"I'm scared," she whispered out loud.

The corners of his mouth quirked. "I don't
blame you. I'm kind of..." His gaze slid to the side as he appeared
to debate what word would describe himself.

"Important," Felicia heard herself tell
him.

His gaze flew back to hers.

Felicia drew in a sharp breath. Yes, Troy was
important. He was the first, and only, man to have gotten through
her physical inhibitions. He was the first, and only, man to make
her challenge herself and her preconceived notions. "You're the
only man I've ever wanted," she admitted.

His eyes were intent, still serious, but his
lips slowly curved.

Felicia put a hand to her forehead. She'd
never expected any of this, from becoming susceptible to Troy in
the first place to having him standing here in her living room,
telling her he wanted to be the right kind of man for her.

"So-o-o...?" Troy tilted his head. His lips
straightened again. "You're still scared."

"Well, yes." Of course she was scared. Troy
was mercurial and erratic. Hadn't she recently decided that?

Felicia peered at him from beneath her hand.
No, he wasn't really mercurial or erratic, he'd just been scared,
too. And he'd gotten past it. He'd made over a hundred thousand
dollars for the Boston Family Aid shelter. And he was standing here
right now in her living room telling her wanted to be a real,
trustworthy man for her.

Felicia sucked in her lips. Her heart beat
rapidly. Yes, she was scared    but maybe it was time for
her to meet a new challenge, to do what Troy was doing, and become
more than she'd previously been. "But," she said slowly, "maybe
it's time to get past the fear."

Troy started to smile. So did she. A
wonderful wave of emotion rose inside of her. Oh, she wasn't done
feeling scared, but she thought she was done letting her fear stop
her, letting it rule or limit her life. Felicia took her hand from
her forehead and stretched it across the space between them. She
let her palm cup the side of Troy's face. Her fingers shook,
excited by the very male feel of the roughness there, at the feel
of
him
.

"Oh, Troy," she murmured. "But do you think I
could be the right kind of woman for you?"

His eyes blazed. "I think you could."

Felicia's hand pressed against the side of
his face. She liked his
I think
. He wasn't handing out
blanket assurances. "Troy," she whispered, and stepped forward to
kiss him.

His lips trembled under hers at first, and
then he kissed back. The kiss quickly grew deeper, hotter, more
intimate. Troy's hand moved to cover her left breast. It occurred
to Felicia, fleetingly and with amusement, that she was probably
about to lose her over-ripe virginity.

"Please tell me your mother went to bridge,
just like your chauffeur told my chauffeur she always does on
Monday nights," Troy muttered in Felicia's ear.

Felicia giggled. "You are wicked."

"Not wicked, honey, just desperate. So, is
she gone?"

For a split-second Felicia hesitated, not out
of fear or lack of interest, but to savor the moment, the one where
she seized life with both hands. She speared her fingers into
Troy's silky hair and looked up at him with smiling eyes. "She's
gone."

"Thank God," Troy muttered.

An hour later, in her bed with the lacy
canopy, Felicia lost her virginity with a happy gasp. Troy, who
didn't appear to be the least bit surprised    or fazed
   covered her lips very tenderly with his own. "I love
you," he said.

"That's good," Felicia replied, draping her
arms around his neck. "Because I love you, too." She truly did. She
loved everything about him. Though at that moment, admittedly, what
held her attention was the feel of him, heavy and real, deep inside
of her. Wriggling, she kissed him back. Troy hissed, and no more
was said after that, in words, for a long, long while.

###

Once he'd decided, Dean felt urgent. He
didn't wait for morning but dressed and went to the airport right
then, though he couldn't find an actual flight for several hours.
During that time a nice bruise began to form on the left side of
his jaw. Dean didn't care. He wanted to get to Vegas. He had to
check on Kelly. Was she all right?

Once in the air, Dean looked out the tiny
window of the plane. He felt like he'd been asleep for two weeks.
He hadn't once asked himself exactly why Kelly had left. He'd just
assumed    He wasn't sure what he'd assumed. Whatever it
was, it had been illogical, unreasonable.

Sure, he'd expected Kelly's feelings for him
to change, but not in the span of a single day. At the mountain
resort, Kelly had agreed to stay in the marriage. Two days later
she'd walked out the door. Now Dean had to consider what he'd done
during those two days to make that happen.

He sucked in his lips as he remembered. He'd
told her he didn't believe the marriage was going to last. He'd
basically told Kelly the marriage was over. She'd simply taken him
at his word.

Dean frowned as he watched dawn stealing over
western Massachusetts. No, it hadn't been so simple.
She'd...argued. What had she said?

He shook his head and frowned harder, but he
couldn't remember. At any rate, he hadn't listened. And so she'd
left.

Now the issue was to decide if he meant what
he'd told Kelly. Did he consider the marriage over? Did he want it
to be over?

Dean felt a shudder run through him. No, he
didn't want it to be over. Being utterly, painfully honest with
himself, he wanted his marriage to Kelly to last his entire
lifetime. He wanted to stay with her always, to grow old together,
even to have kids.

It was only that he couldn't believe it could
happen. He was inadequate in so many ways; behind Kelly
emotionally, unexciting, stodgy... Even if they hadn't had this big
blow-up, surely she'd have come to see all his deficiencies,
eventually. One day her love would dry up. She'd chafe and want to
leave. Dean scowled and rubbed the back of his neck. Perhaps there
was no point to this little trip, after all.

Do what you want instead of what you
should
.

Dean jerked up his head. Where had that come
from?

You're just full of excuses, aren't you?
And none of them are going to get you what you want
.

Dean lowered his hand from his neck.
Apparently the words were coming from inside his own head.

His heart began to beat hard. Do what you
want instead of what you should. Without having to get knocked
unconscious, he was considering the idea.

What do you have to lose
?

Dean drummed his fingers on the armrest. He
knew what he had to lose. Safety, security, the certainty of what
his life was going to hold, empty though it might be.

Playing video games until two in the
morning.

In short, nothing...and everything.
Everything he had ever known.

What do you want, Dean
?

Dean closed his eyes. What did he want? What
the hell did he really, deep down want?

He didn't open his eyes again until the plane
began its descent into Las Vegas' McCarran Airport. By then, he
knew.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

It was the oddest thing. Despite how Dean
didn't measure up as a husband, despite how he was so incredibly
deficient, Kelly missed him. She missed him something awful.

There were days she was so far gone she
wanted to go back to him.

Oh, she was in bad shape. She wasn't the
strong, assertive woman she'd wanted to become. On the contrary, it
took every ounce of will power Kelly possessed to resist doing
something stupid.

The girls wanted to make the crumb cake for
her again. Kelly thanked them, but declined. "He wasn't a crumb,"
she told them. She repeated the sentiment to her friend Valerie, as
they sat at a bar table drinking Perriers in the casino after
work-out that day.

Dark-haired and exotic, Valerie pursed her
lips and appeared doubtful.

Kelly drummed her fingers on the marble table
top, thinking how to put it. "He wasn't bad, just wounded. Too
wounded."

"Funny. You look like the wounded one."

Kelly shook her head and laughed without
humor. "I'll bet Dean is looking a heck of a lot worse than I
am."

"Well, I certainly hope so," Valerie replied
with a huff.

Kelly blinked.
I don't
.

Valerie leaned over the little table. Her
dark-eyed gaze got suspicious. "Have you seen a lawyer yet,
Kelly?"

A lawyer? Kelly thought. What for? Then she
realized: the divorce. "I will," she said, feeling her cheeks
flush. "Just give me some time, all right?"

Valerie shook her head. "Hopeless. Kelly,
you're hopeless."

"Hey. I left him, didn't I?"