Marriage Matters (37 page)

Seventy-five

P
icking up the phone, June took a deep breath. Her granddaughter answered on the first ring.

“So,” June said, without saying hello. “I’ve been thinking . . .”

“That you’re going to back out, too?” Chloe said.

Hmmph. For someone who just called off a wedding, her granddaughter certainly sounded chipper.

“No,” June said, her voice stern. After an appropriate moment of weighted silence, she said, “But I’ve been thinking. Perhaps you should still bring a date to my wedding. It’s too late to cancel the extra plate.”

“Oh.” By the tone of her voice, Chloe was not expecting that. “I don’t know who I could . . .”

“I was thinking you should bring Ben,” June said. “You know, I have always thought he was a very nice young man.”

There was silence on the other end of the receiver. June stared out at her garden, noticing that the frosted branches looked beautiful against the sky. Finally, she heard Chloe sigh. “Grandma,” she said, “I know exactly what it is that you’re doing.”

“Good.” She sniffed. “So do I.”

June hung up. Staring at the receiver, she heard the pages of a newspaper rattle, then a soft chuckle. Charley snapped his paper shut and stood up.

“Ah, June,” he said, walking over and kissing her on the head. “You might just teach me a few things yet.”

* * *

Ben answered the door in his pajamas. His hair was a rumpled mess, as always. So was his bright green T-shirt, which Chloe found to be ridiculously immature.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, surprised.

Chloe swept past him and into his apartment. The shades were drawn and the room was dark. The whole place smelled like Ben.

Turning to face him, she said, “I want you to know that I think your behavior over my engagement was deplorable.”

“
My
behavior?” His eyes flashed dangerously.

“I appreciated your gift. But seriously?” She glared at him. “You couldn’t even be bothered to come to my engagement party?”

“I don’t show up to farces.” Ben rubbed his nose. He widened his eyes just slightly, as though trying to wake up.

“Oh, okay. But you’ll come to an ice-skating rink?” She rolled her eyes. “To tell me that we can’t be friends anymore?”

Ben ran his hands through his hair. It stood up everywhere, like he’d stuck his finger in a light socket. “I didn’t say we couldn’t be friends anymore. I just told you that things couldn’t stay the same.”

“You know what?” She put her hands on her hips. “You need to get a haircut.”

“What?” He gave a half-laugh.

“And you need to stop being so ridiculously immature,” she said. “Because unlike you, I want our friendship to continue.” A flash of anger zapped through her heart as she remembered their walk back from the restaurant. The way Ben had kissed her at the door.

“What do you mean, immature?” he demanded.

Chloe glared at him. “Remember our date? The one you used to test the waters?”

Ben opened his mouth as though to speak but closed it just as quickly.

“Maybe my engagement was a farce.” She took a step closer to him. “But at least it was honest. I went after what I wanted instead of cowering in the corner. Who would have guessed that a Casanova like you could have been such a chicken?”

Ben looked pained. “Chloe, I—”

“I came over here to tell you that I broke off my engagement.” She held up her left hand, as though to prove it. He stared at her finger, his eyes wide. “Maybe I’ll have to wait the rest of my life for the person I’m supposed to be with but that’s fine. I’ll wait. I don’t care how long it takes.”

The air in the room seemed to crackle between them. “Good,” he said, letting out a breath. “I am so glad to hear you say that.”

“Well,
great.
” Chloe’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “Thanks so much for the support.”

“Geoff with a G wasn’t right for you,” he said. “You would have been miserable.”

“Then it all worked out.” Chloe gave a little shrug. “My family still loves me and now, maybe I have my best friend back.”

“Definitely.” Ben’s eyes sparkled. “I . . .”

“You what?” Chloe asked. They stood there in silence for a moment, watching each other. Finally, she said, “I feel like I’m waiting for something, here. Like an apology.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, running his hands through his hair. “I was jealous. I didn’t want to lose you to that guy.”

“To be honest,” she told him. “I didn’t see you fight so hard to keep me.” Walking toward the door, she reached for the handle. “By the way, you better not be doing anything on December 27th.”

Chloe already knew that he was. Sally had told her that Ben was planning to go out to Colorado and stay with his brother during the wedding. He said it would have been “physically impossible for him to stay in town and not show up to object.”

“Actually,” Ben said, “I was planning on visiting my brother.”

“Cancel it,” Chloe said. “You’re coming with me to the wedding.” At the sudden silence in the room, she turned to look at him. “I’m sorry, but you owe me.”

“I know.” Ben nodded. “I’m just . . . I’m really happy that you asked.”

Seventy-six

I
t was tradition for Chloe, June, Kristine and Kevin to attend church together on Christmas Eve. June always marched down the aisle with her head held high, decked out in the most dramatic red suit she could find. She sang the holy carols loud and off-key and each year, ended the evening with a full heart.

Except for this year.

Even though it was the first Christmas with Charley by her side, June felt as though her family had gotten smaller. That afternoon, Kevin called the house and asked if he could come to the ceremony with them. Kristine held up her hand before June could even ask the question. “No.” Her face was drawn. “Tell him I’m sorry, but I really need this time.”

June had been tempted to ignore her daughter’s wishes. To tell Kevin he was always welcome as a member of her family. But she didn’t dare. If there was any hope of the two reconciling, it was clearly going to have to be at her daughter’s pace.

Still, June’s heart ached at the thought of leaving her son-in-law all alone on Christmas. Yes, he had missed more than one holiday in the past, thanks to a delayed flight or the typical travel nonsense, but to actually be in town and denied the opportunity to be with his wife and daughter? That just broke June’s heart.

After church, June laid out her usual spread of Christmas Eve goodies on the dining room table. Meatballs from the corner deli, served in a sweet sauce. Sugar cookies from that bakery down the street. A bowl of holiday popcorn, fresh and crunchy from Garrett’s. Crackers and cheese, chilled cocktail shrimp and, for health, a veggie tray.

Once the snacks were set out, she turned on Christmas music. Settling into her chair in the parlor, she watched Kristine, Chloe and Charley sip on mulled wine and admire the holiday decorations.

“It’s so festive in here,” Kristine said, her voice quiet.

“I know. I’ve always loved those stockings,” Chloe said. Getting up from her chair, she walked over to touch them. They were crushed red velvet with iron-on patches of Santa and his elves in the workshop. Each family member’s name was neatly embroidered at the top. This year, June had ordered one for Charley.

As Chloe touched her father’s stocking, she gave June a questioning look. June sniffed, lifting her chin. “Your father is a member of this family, whether everyone in this room believes it or not.”

Kristine sighed. She looked out the window as though contemplating an escape.

“Don’t even think about it,” June told her. “Or I’ll fill your stocking with coal.”

Kristine shook her head and gave a tiny smile.

Reaching for a meatball from her tiny hors d’oeuvre plate, June wondered if this would be the last year they would uphold their Christmas Eve tradition. Charley had a place in Naples that he migrated to when the snow hit. He mentioned that it might be nice to spend the winters down there, together.

The idea of wintering in Florida was certainly something to consider. June had never dreamed she’d live anywhere other than Chicago, but Charley made Naples sound so lovely. It might be nice to get vitamin C from fresh oranges, learn more about that frustrating game of golf and, of course, start a tropical garden. But if Kristine did not resolve her marital problems, June couldn’t leave her all alone.

“Are you excited about our wedding, my love?” Charley was sitting next to her on the couch, his feet up on the ottoman and his hands wrapped around a mug of mulled wine. Placing it on a reindeer coaster, he put a comforting arm around June.

June thought for a moment. “I’m disappointed,” she said simply.

Kristine ducked her head and looked at Chloe, who was staring down at her hands.

“Grandma, I’m sorry.” The poor girl said this for what very well could have been the hundredth time. “I know that you’re disappointed that I’m not going to marry—”

“No, no, no.” June held up her hand. The left one, of course, so that her new diamond ring could sparkle. “That is not what I mean.” She took a deep breath. “I am simply disappointed that I will be standing up at the altar, without my family by my side. The truth is, it takes a family to make a marriage work. And as the leader of this family, I should have stepped in a long time ago.”

Charley gave a slight nod.

June turned to her granddaughter. “I am delighted you are not going to marry Geoff. You didn’t love him and marriage is hard enough if you don’t have that to hold you together. And as for you, Kristine . . .”

She lifted her pretty blue eyes. “Yes?”

June sniffed. “I think it is absolutely shameful that you will not be standing up there at that altar with me.”

“Mother,” she protested. “I am not going to talk about—”

“Regardless.” June waved her hand, as though to brush away the topic. “I am most certainly looking forward to my wedding. But I will not sit here and say that I can walk down the aisle in good conscience, knowing that my house isn’t resolved.”

“You can, Grandma,” Chloe said. “Mom and I are going to be just fine.”

Pointedly, June looked at Kevin’s stocking hanging up on the mantel. “Well. It’s not you and your mother who I’m worried about.”

Seventy-seven

T
he next morning, Chloe woke up at the crack of dawn. She’d done this every Christmas morning, as soon as she understood the concept of Santa. “It’s like you’d prop your eyes open with toothpicks or something,” her dad always said. “The moment the sun was up, so were you. It was impressive.”

This morning, it didn’t feel impressive. She would much rather be asleep. But the noise in her head was impossible to sleep through.

Sliding out of bed, she pulled open the curtain and looked outside. The window was covered in etched patterns of frost. A new layer of snow had fallen, making the world look fresh and bright. Pulling on her coat, scarf and gloves, she sneaked out of the house and headed for the train.

* * *

When Chloe let herself into her childhood home, it was still. Everything was in place, except for an empty container of black olives that was sitting on the counter. Her heart ached thinking of her father sitting alone on Christmas Eve. She’d texted him to see if he wanted her to come over last night, but he’d said, “No, honey. Christmas Eve is important to your mother. Stay with her.”

Quiet as a mouse, she threw out the jar of olives and found the coffee. Once the pot was gurgling, she took off her coat and sat on the couch. It took her a moment to realize that the reason her parents’ house didn’t feel like Christmas was that, for the first time she could remember, there were no decorations. Not a tree, not a garland, not anything.

Wrapping herself up in a blanket on the couch, she closed her eyes. Memories started flashing through her mind and she thought back to a Christmas in the third grade. Her Brownie troop sent each of the girls home with gingerbread kits for a gingerbread-making competition. Her parents got super into it, buying more candy at the drugstore than could possibly fit on the house. Gumdrops, cinnamon disks, bricks of chocolate for the roof . . . Her father kept stealing caramels and popping them into his mouth and her mother kept slapping his hand. Eventually, this simple interaction evolved into a full-out food fight, with pieces of candy and hunks of frosting flying across the kitchen like missiles.

Chloe fell asleep smiling, thinking of the moment her father had pelted both her and her mother with gumdrops, the three of them laughing hysterically.

* * *

“Hey.” Chloe felt someone tugging at her toe. Opening her eyes, she saw her father standing over her. “What are you doing here?” His face was split into a smile.

Chloe yawned, sitting up. There was a crick in her neck. “What do you mean, what am I doing here?” She rubbed her eyes. “I’m not letting you spend Christmas alone.”

The look on her father’s face was more than worth skipping June’s homemade Christmas brunch. “Thank you,” he said, clearing his throat. “Then let’s go ahead and get some breakfast on the table.”

As they whipped up eggs and bacon, she told her father all about the internship she had waiting for her at the hospital. They had called on Christmas Eve, just before closing up for the holidays.

“It’s awesome,” she said. “It starts in February and could lead to really big things. I’m so excited.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Kevin said, ruffling her hair and setting the plates on the table. “I don’t get a chance to tell you that enough. And, I’ve gotta say . . .” He shook his head, his tone suddenly serious. “I’m glad you called off your part in the wedding.”

“You are?” She took a seat. “How come?”

“It was too fast,” her father said. “There’s such a thing as love at first sight but I got the feeling you just did it because it was easy. And typically, you don’t do anything that’s easy.”

“I got swept up.” She thought about those early days when Geoff would talk her into skipping out on class to study with him in his office. “I really liked him. I still like him. But I just don’t love him. You know? I’ve felt this huge sense of relief, ever since I called it off.”

“What about the kid?” Kevin set glasses of juice in front of their plates. “Are you going to miss her?”

Chloe felt sad, thinking about Mary Beth’s pouty little face. “Desperately. I mean, I kept thinking that I needed more time. To get to know her, to spend time with her. But, in the end . . .” She sighed, thinking about the reality of the situation. “It was good that she never really got attached to me.”

Kevin looked surprised. “Really? Little kids flock to you.”

“Not this one.” She shook her head. “Things happen for a reason, I guess and . . .” She thought for a moment. “Maybe it’s silly but I’m kinda hoping that Geoff and his ex-wife patch things up. You should have seen his face when she came back to town.” She laughed, remembering that night at the restaurant. Geoff had been white as a sheet. “It’ll be interesting to see what happens. Mary Beth deserves to have her mother. I think that’s the best-case scenario, on a developmental level.”

Kevin grinned. “It’s good to hear you talking like you again.”

“What do you mean?” She smeared jam onto her toast and took a bite. Her dad hadn’t been shy with the butter. It was rich and sweet in her mouth.

“You just weren’t acting like yourself.” He popped a piece of bacon in his mouth. “You didn’t care about school, you got caught up in all that wedding stuff . . .”

“I still cared about school. But Geoff taught me to relax, to slow down.” She grinned, thinking of the day he’d said that to her. The day she’d first seen him in those silly green sweatpants. “Yes, things have still been crazy busy but I feel like I’m finally taking time to look around, you know? To see the things that matter.” She let out a breath, thinking of all the fun times with Ben she’d taken for granted. “Maybe I don’t have a sparkly diamond anymore, but at least I have a life.”

Kevin nodded. “I feel a little responsible for all that. For setting a bad example.”

“You sound like Mom,” Chloe groaned. Reaching across the table, she grabbed his hand. “Whatever happens between you two,” she said, trying to keep the tremor out of her voice, “you’ll still be my dad. Obviously.”

For the second time that morning, she could swear her father choked up. Jumping to his feet, he picked up their dirty plates and rinsed them in the sink. After loading them into the dishwasher, he said, “I love you, too, Chloe. You and your mother.” He let out a sigh. “And June.”

“It’s not too late.” Chloe bit her thumbnail. Her mother had seemed so sad last night, so lost. “To talk to her.”

Kevin wiped his hands on the kitchen towel. “Oh, I’m gonna do more than that.”

“What do you mean?” Chloe sat up straight.

Kevin closed the dishwasher and leaned against the counter.

“Well . . .” He smiled. “Let’s just say I’ve still got a little something up my sleeve.”