Marriage Seasons 04 - Winter Turns to Spring (28 page)

“What?” Jennifer followed her into the bedroom. “Did you say something?”

“We were like kids playing house. Wave the magic card and everything appears—a bed, a pickup truck, a refrigerator, a sofa and matching chairs. Presto!”

As Ashley tossed out her left hand in a flourish, Jennifer grabbed it. She peered down at her friend’s bare fingers. “Your ring is gone! What did you do with it?”

“I left it at the house. Brad’s getting the mail—except for the bead money, which Pete Roberts picks up for me—so he’s got to have something to help pay the bills.”

“But, Ash, it was your ring! Your beautiful engagement ring with that huge diamond!”

“Yeah.” The lump in her throat hardened. “It’s the only thing that was ever really mine. I don’t even own my car, you know. My parents hold the title. The house and all the furniture Brad and I got for it … we were making payments. Big payments. But Brad had bought the ring for me outright. He used his savings.”

“Oh, Ashley.”

She shrugged. “He thought he wanted to go to college, so he had saved quite a bit of money from his summer jobs. He had a good GPA, but he didn’t do so great on the ACT test. His counselor told him to keep taking it until he got a good score. She said he should apply for scholarships, but he didn’t. He thought he would get a full ride to play football somewhere. That didn’t pan out, and then he found the construction job and met me.”

“And fell in love with you and spent every last hard-earned dime on a diamond ring for you.” Jennifer took Ashley’s shoulders. “Brad loved you, Ash, and he still does. I know you don’t believe it because of what he did. But he stopped drinking. Cody swears they threw every can and bottle into the lake. And my dad told me that Brad has been coming to the men’s Bible study at Rods-N-Ends on Wednesday mornings.”

“Bible study.” Ashley had heard these rumors, but she didn’t trust them. She didn’t trust
him
.

“Brad’s faith will make a difference in him.” Jennifer’s face was earnest. “God can change people’s lives.”

“You know, Jen … sometimes I think you’re trying so hard to be holy that you’re not even real. We’re total opposites. You don’t want to face the truth about people, but it’s all I can see. What was your big plan anyhow? To be so isolated that your children wouldn’t ever need to meet kids whose moms had meth labs in the kitchen or whose uncles messed with them when nobody was looking?”

“No.”

“Yes!” Angry for some reason she didn’t understand, Ashley pushed her friend’s hands from her shoulders. “This is what’s real, Jen.
Me
. Look at me! The world is full of people like me. Stupid girls who sleep with their selfish boyfriends and then get married and find out that their husband drinks too much and has sex with a barfly on Christmas Eve. I’m real. You’re not.”

“I am too.”

“Oh yeah? You got so buried in your Bible and your missionary dream that when the real world intruded, it knocked you flat. Well, I’m not going down with this punch!”

Without waiting for a response, Ashley squared her shoulders. “I’m a strong person. I’m tough enough to make it without a man. I don’t need your friendship either. And I don’t need your help with my bead business. I don’t need anything. I may be ignorant, but at least I’m not weak.”

Her fury at its peak, Ashley stormed into the bathroom. She didn’t know what she would find behind the door, but she didn’t care. She could scrub the toilet and clean the tub and do whatever it took to make it on her own.

But what she saw behind the door was herself. The image in the mirror tipped her heart off rhythm for a moment. Who was that?

Ashley leaned across the sink and peered at her own reflection. Rumpled red hair caught up in a band of loose elastic. Eyes, once large and brown, now swollen, filled with pain and distrust. Lips tight with anger. Hollows beneath her cheekbones carved by rage and hurt.

The door opened wider and Jennifer edged into the bathroom. “Okay, you’re right,” she said, looking at Ashley in the mirror. “I did want to hide after those men attacked us in Mexico. But so did you when you found Brad and that woman together. You hid at Patsy’s house.”

The tip of Jennifer’s nose was red and wisps of her blonde hair had stuck to her cheeks with static electricity. “You can’t make it on your own any better than I can, Ash. No one can. We all need help.”

Looking from herself to her friend and back again, Ashley realized how much alike they were. Young. Confused. Afraid.

But Jennifer did possess one trait Ashley had only observed … something she had never been able to find in her own life. Jennifer could look beyond herself. Though she had struggled, she always returned to her faith. That was where she found her strength.

Ashley looked inward. She relied on her own willpower. She believed only in herself. She trusted no one, not even God, to save her. Like Yappy the night Brad brought him home, Ashley had always felt empty, hungry. Now she had been abandoned like a dog in a cardboard box. Deserted. Discarded.

But even when Jennifer was sad and bewildered, Ashley reflected, she was filled with the certainty that God loved her. Jennifer never felt alone. She knew her Master. She was owned.

“Are you sure you don’t want some help, sweetpea?” Patsy set one hand on her hip and eyed the young redhead. Ashley had been living with her for more than a month, and the thought of her moving to a lonely apartment did not sit well. “That sofa is going to be heavy. You can’t move it all by yourself. Why don’t you let me come along?”

The meeting of the TLC had just ended, and as the members filed out of Just As I Am, Ashley had approached Patsy with a request. Would she ask Pete if he’d be willing to loan his truck for the rest of the afternoon?

“I know he’ll say yes,” Patsy assured Ashley. “But, honey, you won’t be able to lug that stuff on your own. I’ll be glad to give you a hand.”

“You’re working here until six,” the younger woman pointed out. She glanced down at Patsy’s stiletto heels. With a grin, she rolled her eyes. “Besides, I wouldn’t want you to sprain your ankle again. And by the way—you’re not supposed to wear shoes like that for at least six weeks. Doctor’s orders.”

“Oh, phooey on him. I don’t have any pretty low-heeled work shoes. I can’t imagine what the man was thinking when he said that. I’m barely over five feet tall. I’ve always worn shoes that give me a little boost.”

“I know what the doctor was thinking. Pete told me after your last appointment. If you don’t quit wearing those high heels, you’re going to have bunions, hammertoes, or corns.”

“Stop changing the subject on me, Ashley.” Patsy did not want to discuss her feet, especially in the salon where pedicures were part of her stock in trade. She always kept her customers’ focus on pretty toenails and soft heels. Who wanted to think about bunions?

“You go next door and ask Pete yourself,” she continued. “He’ll be happy to let you borrow his truck. Is Brad going to be there to help out?”

“He’d better not show up. I sent him a text message and told him I needed the house to myself for a few hours. He said he’d be at Charlie Moore’s until eight this evening. I plan to use my dad’s dolly to roll the sofa outside. I’ll rig up some kind of a ramp and drag it onto the truck bed.”

“Have you looked outside? It is raining, girl. And we’re supposed to have a freeze tonight. I expect it to start sleeting before I leave the salon.”

“Then I’ll bring a tarp. I’m only taking the sofa and chairs. Plus the table. It belonged to my grandma, and it’s mine. I sent Brad  an e-mail  saying I would make the payments for the living room furniture. He’s got the refrigerator and the truck to deal with. We’re splitting the house payment until the place sells.”

Patsy felt the blood drain from her cheeks. This was what she had been dreading from the moment she opened her door to find Ashley on the porch that Christmas Eve night. This young marriage—not even a year old—was about to die.

Lowering her voice, she asked the awful question. “Do you already have the papers?”

Ashley patted her purse. “Right in here.”

She had decorated the large tote bag’s surface with small beads left over from her Christmas supply. Everyone in the salon had admired it that afternoon. Miranda Finley declared it would be a hit with the boutique owner who had placed the big bead order. Of course, Miranda didn’t know what Patsy had begun to fret over. Ashley had not created a single bead since the night her world crashed in.

“Did you sign the documents?” Patsy asked.

“Of course. I’m planning to leave them in the kitchen after I finish moving my stuff. My new address is on the front page, so he can mail them to me.”

“Oh, dear. Well, nuts. I am going to miss you so much, sugar.”

Fussing with the wisps of auburn hair that she had woven into her own blonde do a few days before, Patsy studied her feet. Bunions and hammertoes were nothing compared to divorce. Divorce was huge and permanent, and it changed a person’s whole life forever.

She wasn’t at all sure that Brad and Ashley were ready to take this step. Especially now. Patsy knew the kids’ first anniversary was the next day. What a Valentine that would be for Brad—divorce papers. Surely Ashley could wait a while longer. What if she lived to regret her decision? They had made no effort to repair the relationship. At least … Ashley had done nothing.

“All right, I know I’m not supposed to talk about this.” Patsy glanced across the room as though her fiancé might be staring at her through the dividing wall. “It’s a private matter, and they don’t talk about it, and besides, you know how I feel about gossip. But I simply have to tell you something.”

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and spilled the beans. “Brad has been going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.”

Ashley’s eyes widened. “No way. You’re joking.”

“I swear. Hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.” Patsy knew the man she loved would want to wring her neck if he found out she had told this all-important secret. Still, her hope outweighed the risk.

“Pete accidentally mentioned it to me the other day.” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “He said Brad was looking at colleges, and I asked when they’d had that conversation. Pete blurted out, ‘AA,’ and then he made me promise not to tell. Don’t you dare say a word. I just felt I had to bring it up, because you’re going on your merry way without giving that husband of yours a second thought.”

“So? He sure wasn’t thinking about me on Christmas Eve.”

“But Brad is changing, Ashley. He’s been going to the men’s Bible study and AA. I saw him at church last Sunday too. He came with that guy he works for.”

“Bill Walters?”

“Yes, he’s a regular. Tomorrow’s your anniversary, Ashley. You ought to at least talk to Brad.”

Adjusting the strings of beads around her neck, Ashley looked out the window. “I want out before tomorrow. I have to move my furniture, Patsy. I’m sorry.”

As Ashley turned away, Patsy couldn’t help but catch her arm and swing her around.

“Now you listen to me, young lady,” Patsy said, hearing her own mother’s tone. “What Brad did was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. But what you’re doing is not right either. Don’t you
dare
let pride and selfishness get in the way of God’s best plan for your life.”

Ashley took a step toward Patsy and pointed her index finger. The words hissed out. “God does not know I exist.”

Before either could speak again, Ashley turned and headed for the door. Passing Patsy’s five thirty manicure, she stepped out into the icy rain.

“Did you notice I didn’t mention Reenor once during the TLC meeting?” Cody asked, stepping to Patsy’s side. “I did good social skills. Brenda says I’m learning, and I am.”

“Cody Goss,” Patsy said, giving his shoulder a squeeze, “follow that girl. Tell Pete that I said you had to go along and help Ashley move her furniture or he was not to let her borrow his pickup.”

Cody gaped. “Patsy. You’re being bossy again.”

“Yes, I am. Now go!”

Without a backward glance, Cody stuffed a cupcake into his mouth and took off across the salon.

His windshield wipers unable to keep up with the blowing sleet, Brad squinted at the darkened roadway ahead. Why was he always unprepared? After clearing the frost that morning, he had gone back into the house, forgetting to throw his ice scraper into the car. It was probably lying somewhere on the deck, covered with frozen rain.