Married For Jeremy (Under Fire Book 1) (12 page)

“Roger.” James jumped up onto the back of the pumper, pulled the Velcro straps off the hose covers and grabbed the hose nozzle and loop of hose then pulled it off the truck into a heap.

Zack had pulled up in his personal vehicle moments after the pumper and was soon beside James wearing an SCBA waiting for instructions. The tanker and crew arrived and set to work putting up the portable tank so they could dump their load.

Captain Kelly strode up to Zack and James. “You’re entry team one. Head in through the front door and see how much of a primary search you can do.” Since an entry commander hadn’t been appointed yet, Captain Kelly checked their gear before taking their interior tags and giving them the go ahead.

Reg charged the hoseline, James, and Zack headed for the front door. It was lightweight and gave easily to a few swings of Zack’s axe. Smoke billowed out over their heads along with the intense heat from the fire. James dropped to his knees. “Ready?”

“Yeah.” Zack replied.

They crawled through the front entranceway and began a left-handed search, looking for victims.

“Fire attack 1, Command.”

“Go ahead Command.” James talked into his radio.

“We’ve just talked to a neighbour and they’ve confirmed that the owner is on vacation so the house should be vacant. Go on fire attack.”

“Roger.”

“Is it getting hotter in here?” Zack asked.

“I don’t think so, you all right?”

“Yeah, it just seems more intense.”

Zack twisted the nozzle, changing the fog stream.

“Fire attack 1, Command, keep doing what you’re doing, you’re making headway.”

“Roger.”

The temperature increased from the steam the water was turning into, and James was too blinded by smoke to tell whether the fire was being pushed back or not. He felt himself bump against a kitchen counter. They crawled further along it, intending to stay against a wall and making left turns. The ceiling creaked overhead.

“I think we’d better get out of here,” Zack yelled.

His words were followed by the sickening sound of cracking wood. James found himself

pinned under the wreckage. “Zack?” he yelled to be heard through his SCBA. His partner didn’t answer. “Zack?” He tried again, shifting his body, trying to reach his friend. He couldn’t move his right arm and couldn’t tell whether it was broken, or just pinned. Either way, he couldn’t reach his own radio. His good hand brushed Zack’s coat and his fingers managed to get a grip on Zack’s radio and pull it off his coat collar.

“Mayday, Mayday. Fire Attack 1 is trapped in the kitchen.”

“Hang on James, I’m sending RIT in.”              

              For the first time in his firefighting career, James was truly scared. He’d been nervous of a lot of times, but he’d never been in a situation where his life was truly threatened. A PASS alarm went off and he assumed it was Zack’s. His buddy still hadn’t moved. “Zack?” He tried to rouse him again, but it was no use. His low air alarm went off. He knew if he didn’t panic, he still had a few minutes of air left, but it was going to take some time for the Rapid Intervention Team to find them.

              His legs could still move. He kicked at the wreckage, knowing the counters weren’t going to give, but hoping he could move something enough to get them out. He slid down a little, and realized they were in some sort of tunnel. If only he could get his arm unstuck, maybe he could crawl out and drag Zack with him. He tried to roll over onto his stomach, but it was no use. His arm didn’t hurt, but there was no moving it. So, this was it. He was going to die in a burning building, trapped under a ceiling collapse.

              He focused on keeping his breathing steady to make his air last as long as possible.
Trust in Me.
“Zack?”
Cast your cares on Me. My yoke is easy and My burden is light.
The Sunday school verses wandered through his head, along with the still, small voice. I
Am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
“Jesus, I’m unworthy of this, I’ve drifted too far.”
No one comes to the Father except through me.
“Jesus? Jesus how do I come back to you after all this time? How can I make myself good enough?”
Not by might nor by power but by My Spirit.
James felt tears behind his eyes. “God, I’m not worth it, I never have been.”
I knit you together in your mother’s womb.
“I don’t know how to do it God. Just because I went to church doesn’t mean I know how to live my life.” James was surprised he’d admitted it. He’d been trying for years to fool himself into thinking he had it all together. He tried to shift his body again. Something was digging painfully into his shoulder. Reality hit him. If he did die tonight, he wasn’t going to heaven. He’d allowed the devil to fool him into believing he had no use for God because he could handle things alone. Now he realized he’d just been believing a lie. For the first time in over a decade, James quit arguing with God and began to truly pray. “Jesus, you’re right. I need you. I need you to forgive my sin, and doubt and rule my life. I need you to make me the man Ellen and Jeremy need. I need you to be my Father and show me how to be one. And God, I need you to save me and Zack right now.”

              He held his breath and heard the sound of Zack’s breathing apparatus. His buddy was still breathing.

Chapter 13

              For some reason, Ellen was uneasy. Something had to be wrong, she’d never felt this way before. For the past two hours, she’d been pacing the floor, praying James was all right and that God would reach him. The doorbell rang. Ellen wiped sweaty palms on her jeans and went to answer it.

              A middle aged woman she’d never seen before stood on the front porch.

              “I’m Cindy, can I come in for a moment?”

              Ellen noticed she was wearing a fire department jacket like James had and motioned her inside. “Is something wrong?”

              “Your husband and his partner were just rescued from a structural collapse.”

              Ellen put her hand to her throat. “Are they okay?”

              “We’ve transported both of them to the emergency department. We’ll know more once we get there.”

              “I’ll go right now.”

              “I’m here to take you. I understand you have a baby?”

              “Yes, Jeremy.”

              “Why don’t you get him ready and I’ll drive you to the hospital.”

              When they arrived at the hospital, Ellen headed for the front entrance ahead of Cindy. A man in jeans, workboots and a flannel shirt that looked like it had been tucked in earlier met her at the door. “You must be Ellen, I’m Roy.”

              “Hi. Where’s James?”

              “The doctors are with him now. Why don’t you come sit down.” Without waiting for an answer, Roy took her arm and steered her to a chair. “This must be Jeremy. What is he? Four months now?”

              “Almost. How did you know?”

              “James is a very proud Daddy, he talks about you two all the time.”

              “He does?”

              “To me anyway.”

              “I didn’t know that. When can I see James?”

              “It’s going to be awhile I think. Can I get you anything?”

              “No, I’m fine. Can you tell me what happened?”

              “I’ll spare you the technical lingo, but basically, Zack and James were inside when part of the second floor collapsed onto them. It wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been because they were up against the kitchen counter so the counter and the kitchen furniture kept most of the weight off them. Our RIT team was able to grab onto them and pull them out, because they were actually really close to the front door. They’re lucky to be alive.”              

              “I’m so glad, I just had a bad feeling about this fire.” 

              “So did I, but there’s something I need to tell you.”

              “What?”

              “I don’t know how it’s going to turn out as far as injuries and stuff, both the guys are hurt, but I rode in on the rig with James and well, he’s changed.”

              “What do you mean?” Ellen asked worried.

              “I’m not sure what it means, but I hope it’s good.”

              Jeremy squealed from his car seat. Ellen reached down and picked him up, holding him tightly as she realized that if something happened to James, Jeremy was all she had left.

              “So you said four months now, right?”

              “Yes.”

              “I figured, my wife had a baby, about three weeks after you did. James and I compare them at training.” Roy smiled.

              “James talks about Jeremy at training?” Ellen was surprised.

              “All the time.” Roy looked at her quizzically. “Why does that surprise you?”

              “I guess I just sometimes wonder if he remembers he has a baby.”

              “He does, trust me.” Roy stretched his legs out in front of him and crossed one worn work boot over the other. “It’s likely not my place to say, but well, I’ve known James for a long time and he’s one of those guys who has a hard time, well, speaking his feelings. I guess we’re all guilty of that, but well, don’t take his silence too seriously. He loves you a lot, he just doesn’t know how to show you.”

              “I don’t think he understands me.”

              “Likely not, but he’ll try if you let him.”

              “Are you a counsellor or something?”

              “I was, yes. It’s a long story. Now I run a landscaping business in the summer, and snowplow in the winter. I’m busy, but I’m not stuck in an office and rainy days are time off.” Roy smiled. “I think my family prays for them.”

              “Roy, where is he? How is he?”

              Roy jumped to his feet and strode to the woman who had just entered the ER. “We don’t know yet, why don’t you come sit down?” He led her to the chair.

              “Mrs. Benton, this is Ellen Walker and her son Jeremy,” Roy said by way of introduction.

              “Pleased to meet you, you must be James’s wife?”

              Ellen nodded.

              “Zack talks about him all the time, or at least he did.” She pulled a tissue out of her purse and dabbed her eyes.

              “Don’t worry Mrs. Benton, Zack’s okay.”

              “Are you sure?”

              “No, but a firefighter that’s as darn good as he is isn’t going to give up to easily.”

              “I just wish he wouldn’t do it. I’ve known all along that something like this was going to happen. Every time that alarm goes off I know I might never see him again.”

              “I know Ma’am, that’s the way it is, but think of how many people your son has influenced over what, three years?”

              “Yes, about that.”

              Roy put his hand on her shoulder. “He’s a good man, and God’s going to take care of him. Yes, he’s hurt bad, but worrying isn’t going to help anything.”

              “I know.” She sniffed. “I just want to see him.”

              “I would think we’ll be hearing something soon.”

              “I just want to know why he was in that building. Didn’t someone know it was going to collapse?”

              “Well, sometimes buildings are funny things. Fire is predictable, but how a certain building is going to react to a fire, well sometimes you never know.”

              “How badly is he hurt?”

              “We know for certain he has a broken leg and he was unconscious for a good length of time, so we suspect a head injury. We’re not doctors, so we’ll really just have to wait and see.”

              “Ellen Walker?” Ellen looked up as a doctor entered the room.

              “Yes?” She jumped to her feet, disturbing Jeremy and making him whimper.

              “You can see your husband now.”

              “Wonderful,” Ellen said, hoping what she saw would be pleasant.

              “I’ll watch that baby of yours if you want.” Roy offered. “Save carrying him around.”

              Ellen thought for a moment, then surrendered the baby to the firefighter. “I’ll be quick.”

              “Take your time, it’s not the first time I’ve held a baby,” Roy said with a smile. He set the baby on his knee and smiled at him. “I think we’ll get along just fine.”

              Ellen followed the doctor into the emergency department. James smiled weakly when he saw her. “Hi Ellen,” he said.

              “James, are you all right?” Ellen moved to the side of his bed.

              “My shoulder is killing me, but I guess this time I’m going to live.”

              “James, don’t talk like that. I’d be glad if there never is a next time.”

              “It’s not so bad most of the time. How’s Zack?” he asked, concerned.

              “We don’t know yet, his mom just got here.”

              “I don’t know what I’ll do if something happens to him,” James said quietly.

              “Zack knows Jesus, James, everything will be okay regardless of what happens.”

              “I know,” James said firmly. “We were stuck there, and I couldn’t move. I thought we were done, then it was like He was talking to me.”

              “Who, Zack?”

              “No, God.”

              “Really?”

              “Yeah. It was like my whole life came back to me, all the lies I’d believed. How I rejected God all these years. Then I prayed, Ellen, for real, and here I am.”

              Ellen felt her throat choke up. “James, do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that?”

              “No, but I know how long it’s been that my Grandma’s been praying for me. Guess it paid off.”

              “Yes.”

              “Where’s Jeremy?”

              “With your friend Roy. Did you want to see him?”

              “No, it’s okay. The doctor said I should be able to go home soon.”

              “Are you sure, shouldn’t you stay until they’re sure you’re all right?”

              “They said to just take it easy for a few days, I’m not seriously hurt, just gonna want to move slow for awhile.” 

              Ellen leaned closer to him. “I’m so glad you’re all right.”

              “Hey, me too, just hope it ends up the same for Zack.”

              “Either way, I’d be lost without you.”

              James gave her another weak smile. “I guess that’s a compliment?”

              “Yeah.” Ellen combed his hair off his forehead. “I guess I should go and make sure Jeremy is okay.”

              James caught her hand as she started to pull it away, then gazed into her eyes. “Thanks for coming Ellen.”

              “What else was I supposed to do?”

              “You didn’t have to come, which makes me think you wanted to.”

              Ellen nodded, then leaned down and kissed him. When she stood up again, he was regarding her with an amused expression.

              “If I’d known this would make you do that, I would’ve had someone drop a building on my head a long time ago,” he said smiling.

              “Don’t even consider it.” Ellen smiled too. “I’ll be back for you later.”

              Ellen wanted to talk to James, but could tell he was hurting. He had carefully settled onto the couch and looked almost ready to fall asleep. Ellen found herself fidgeting even as she tried to feed Jeremy. He was fussy from his upset schedule and didn’t seem hungry. She finally set him on a blanket on the floor and was again without anything to do.

              “Ellen, why don’t you come sit over here?” She didn’t stop, so he tried again. “Ellen, sit down, you’re driving me crazy.”

              “Okay.” Ellen perched on the edge of the couch.

              “Not there over here, here over here.” James gestured to the space beside him.

              Ellen sat down gingerly and James slowly moved his arm up around her shoulders. “I want you to stop worrying.”

“What makes you think I’m worrying?”

“Just that you’re frazzled and you don’t usually get like that.”

              “I’m just afraid that dumb pager of yours is going to go off and you’re going to go running into another burning building.”

              “Sooner or later, yes.”

              “Next time you might get killed.”

              “Yeah, but we don’t have to live in fear about it,” James said gently.

              “I know, but it’s hard to believe. I know we don’t have a normal marriage, but I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”

              “So it’s safe to say we’re finally friends?” James pulled her closer.

              “Of course. I think we’ve always been friends in some way. Are you sure I’m not hurting you?”

              “Stop worrying Ellen. I’m okay.” James said smiling.

              “You know we’ve almost been married a year.”

              “I know.”

              Ellen looked into his eyes, suddenly realizing what she wanted. “James, will you kiss me?”

              James smiled. “Sure Honey.” He reached up and caught her chin with his free hand, then leaned over and kissed her. It was the kiss Ellen wished they could’ve had the first time, sweet and gentle without wanting more.

              “That was nice James,” she whispered as she moved away slightly.

              “We don’t have to stop there.”

              “I’d like to, this time.”

              James gazed into her eyes. “All right, but someday, when you want more than that, just let me know.”

              “Okay.” His arms stayed around her and she started to nestle her head against her chest when he winced. “Oh no, I hurt you.”