Marrying Ember (5 page)

From behind me, soft footsteps carried a softer voice. “You guys will be okay. This will be okay.” Mags brushed her fingertips along my back as she and Journey sat on either side of me.

“I’m gonna call Georgia. I’ll be back in a bit.” Regan stood, brushing dust from his jeans as he walked away.

I could hardly blame him for needing some space from the conversation, and I respected his desire to give me privacy, but I could have used a little assistance with the Hippie Peace Force that surrounded me.

“Do you want to take a walk, too?” Journey nudged my arm with her elbow.

Mags looked around me to her parter. “He told November he’d be right here when she came out.” She planted a soft kiss on my cheek. “I think that’s sweet.”

“It’s necessary. Did you two know anything?”

Mags looked to the sky as Journey let out a slight sigh.

Fantastic.

“Come on, Mags,” I pleaded.

Mags ran her hand over her short brown hair, stopping it at the back of her neck. When she looked at me, her large brown eyes were uncertain. “It’s not my story to tell, Bo.”

As a matter of course, I looked to Journey for a second opinion. Her blonde dreadlocks moved slowly as she shook her head in apology.

I was growing annoyed—and more anxious—as the minutes passed, though I was sure they felt longer inside that RV than out where I was sitting. “Fine. If you two don’t mind, I’d rather wait here alone.”

Without another word, the couple stood and wandered through two thick trees and into an open field far from the RV. Every other second, or so, I wanted to bail from my post and join them in the sun. In a world that existed only an hour before. The world where Ember knew where she came from. Given the unrest Ember discussed in her childhood—always moving from place to place—she always said that her family was what anchored her. I didn’t know what was going on inside that RV, but I readied the rowboat anyway.

***

A few hours passed before any signs of life came from the RV. Regan had returned earlier, but grabbed my guitar from underneath the vehicle and posted up under a tree a couple hundred feet away, toying with the strings. At some point, Journey and Mags made their way back to the second RV in our dysfunctional caravan, and I hadn’t seen them in two hours.

My legs were alternating between burning and falling asleep when the door opened. In a second I shot to my feet, regretting the hasty movement as my legs woke angrily. With grace on my side, Ember was the first out of the RV. There wasn’t anything in my emotional history that could have prepared me for what awaited.

With swollen eyes, red splotches across her paler cheeks, and her hair tied back from her face, Ember moved slowly down the stairs. The sounds from my guitar ceased from behind me, as Regan appeared to be taking in the scene.

I stepped toward her and held out my hand. When she reached me she didn’t look up. She simply took my hand and started walking toward the far end of the parking lot.

“We’re renting a car and driving to the next venue.” Her voice was hoarse and further away than I’d ever heard. She didn’t try to clear her throat as she continued. “You and I are driving to the rest of the tour dates, okay? I’ve called the car company and they’ll be here in twenty minutes. Can you get our things?”

I stopped us at the edge of the grass and grabbed her shoulders, turning her to face me. When she still wouldn’t look up, I lifted her chin with my fingers. Reluctantly, her eyes moved to mine.

“Ember,” I whispered. “What happened?”

Without hesitation, her face melted into a torrent of tears. Words stumbled out fragmented between sobs. “Just … just get the stuff, okay?”

I pulled her to me, holding her head to my chest, still left with as many questions as I had hours earlier. When her cries quieted, I kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be right back.”

Ember nodded and wiped her face dry as she turned her back. “I’m going to freshen up in the restroom.” She spoke softly without turning around.

As I walked back to the RV, I watched Willow exit with her parents and move to the other RV. I hadn’t seen Raven or Ashby yet, but I was about to since I needed to get our things from inside the vehicle.

Not knowing the protocol for such a thing, I rapped my knuckles against the side of the open door. “It’s just Bo … I’m … coming to get our stuff.”

I walked the rest of the way and found Raven and Ashby sitting silently at the table that just this morning held the laughter of me and my friends.

“Of course, Bo. Come on in.” Raven tried a smile, but it barely spread across her entire mouth before disappearing.

I pulled our backpacks down from the overhead cabinet, and stuffed them with our phones and iPod’s and other things we’d strewn around as we’d made ourselves comfortable for what was to be a long drive. Asbhy and Raven remained silent.

“So …” I started, feeling more awkward around Ember’s parents than I ever had. Especially since I wasn’t sure if I was looking at
both
of Ember’s parents. “Ash, can you just … give me the names of the next few venues so I can program the addresses in my phone?”

Ashby stood, his thick greying hair sticking up as though he’d raked his hand through it one too many times. “Of course.”

He moved to the front of the vehicle, and I followed, glancing back over my shoulder in time to see Raven rest her head against the window with her eyes closed.

“Here you go, son.” Ashby handed me a sheet with the list of our tour dates, venues, and times.

It was then that he met my eyes. Water worn and tired, a flicker of Ember passed through them that had me more confused than ever. I wanted answers, but wanted them from Ember.

“Thanks. We’ll see you in San Francisco. Drive safely.” I turned on my heels, not knowing what else to say or do.

“Bo?” Ashby called after me.

I turned back around to find the broken smile of a kind man. “Take care of her okay?”

I nodded. “Always.”

Regan was waiting, leaning against the RV as I planted my feet on the ground.

“Is everything … you’re not leaving the tour are you?”

“God, no. Thankfully. At least, that’s not the plan right now. We’re driving.” I nodded to the far end of the parking lot where I watched Ember climb into the driver’s seat of the rental car that must have shown up while I was inside.

“I … so … Ember’s my friend, and so are you, but I’m thinking you two should drive alone for a while? Right?” His eyebrows twisted as he struggled to find the words.

I chuckled. “That’d be great, man. Trust me, I want you with us as much as I’m sure Ember does, but I still don’t know what the hell happened there. We’ll see you in San Fran tonight.”

Regan nodded, then gave my shoulder a firm slap. “Godspeed, bro.”

“Thanks.” I gave him a slap in return and walked to the car, placing our belongings in the trunk.

I walked to the driver’s side door and knocked on the window. Ember rolled it down but didn’t look at me.

“Do you want me to drive, so you can … relax?” I’d never been so tongue tied in my life as I was during this situation.

Ember kept looking forward and shook her head. “I need to focus on something else for a while. Let me drive for a few hours.”

I walked to the passenger side without a fight, got in, and allowed five full minutes of deafening silence as we navigated toward the highway before I spoke.

“Ember.”

“Not right now, Bo. Not … right now.” I watched her cheeks turn crimson as she widened her eyes—her only defense against impending tears.

I ground my back teeth together, impatience and anxiety brewing. Her constant assertion that she could handle things herself was starting to wear on me. All I wanted to do was take care of her. Why was she so resistant?

“We need to talk about what just happened, Ember.” My voice was firm but caring as I tried to pry open the gates around her heart.

“You were in the RV with my parents.” She shrugged as though that was the answer.

I turned and faced her. “I didn’t talk to them about this.”

“Why not? They didn’t try to cover their asses?” She bit her lip as her tone turned angry.

I reached across the car and set my hand on her leg. She moved it as though she didn’t want me to touch her, but I was unfazed. “I’m not in love with them. I wanted to have this conversation with you.”

“If I talk about it, I’m going to cry. I hate crying.” Her eyes pinched at the edges as early tears seeped out. She was the only person I knew who spent as much time apologizing while she was crying as she did getting to the heart of
why
she was crying.

“Take the next exit.” I nodded to the sign that promised good coffee in less than a mile.

“No.”

I erased all gentleness from my voice as I battled her stubbornness. “Ember, take the next exit.”

She looked at me, most likely checking to see if my face matched my words. When she realized they did, she moved to the right lane and took the exit.

“There’s a Starbucks right up there. I know you want one as badly as I do, since the band refuses to let us stop there.” I was granted a half smile as Ember negotiated the left hand turn to the church of the mermaid goddess.

Honestly, I wouldn’t have cared if it was Starbucks or a gas station, but The Six drank tea and sunshine, leaving little time to stop for the caffeine the rest of us needed. Badly.

“I’ll do the drive through, then we can park over there.” Ember pointed to the largely vacant lot on the other side of the tiny coffee hut.

I let out a sigh of relief. She was willing to stop the car and drink some coffee. She needed to tell me what happened in that damn RV, and I wasn’t letting us back on the highway until I got some answers.

“Yeah,” Ember called into the speaker. “I’ll have a venti, half-caff, soy, Pike misto with one pump vanilla.”

I had to stifle a chuckle. She chanted her order as if it were a daily prayer.

“You want your usual?” She asked me over her shoulder.

“Please.”

“And also a venti bold with cream and a shot of boring.” She grinned as the barista laughed over the intercom.

Sarcasm was a good sign on Ember’s emotional barometer. Even if it was fleeting. Once we retrieved our drinks and paid, she pulled into a parking space and shut the car off after rolling down the windows. I left my coffee in the cup holder, knowing it would be too hot for me to drink for the next several minutes, but I watched Ember take her lid off and close her eyes as she took a deep breath, inhaling the rich aroma of the drink.

After her first sip, she put the lid back on and set the coffee in the holder next to mine. She closed her eyes once more and rested her head against the headrest.

“Well,” she sniffed as she let tears roll down her face, “Willow and I really are half sisters.”

“Shit,” I puffed out my cheeks as I exhaled and grabbed her hand. I knew this information, given Solstice had said it several hours ago, but hearing it from Ember made it more real. “Who …” I didn’t know how to ask which man had fathered two daughters.

“My dad.” Her voice went up several octaves as tears choked her tone. “Ashby … he … um.” Ember leaned forward and pressed her head into the steering wheel.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and leaned over as far as I could, wrapping as much of my body around her as possible, trying to shield her from the internal onslaught of emotions.

She coughed and sniffed as raw tears flooded the inside of our tiny rental car. “He’s Willow’s biological dad, too.”

 

I rested my chin on the top of her head, which was hot from the force of her crying. “Is that why you didn’t want to talk to them about it? Your parents, I mean.”

I felt her nod beneath my chin. “I knew she had to be right. Why would she make that up?”

“Well … she’s not exactly on high moral ground.”

Ember sniffed. “I know. But coming on to you was out of character for her. I knew she was acting out.”

“Yeah,” I whispered. “I guess.”

Finally, Ember sat up, wiped under her eyes, and looked at me. Her eyes weren’t as empty as they’d been when she left the RV earlier, but they weren’t filled with anything pretty, either. Rage, torment, and a splash of something unidentified. Something I didn’t want to try to name.

Ember dug her fingers through her hair and left them resting against her head. “This whole time I was afraid to ask my parents because I didn’t want to lose my dad. I knew we didn’t share a mom, that much was obvious. So, one of us grew up with the wrong dad. Over the last few months I’ve looked through all the oldest pictures I could find. I dug through my parents albums, and never once were either Willow or I seen with anyone but our parents in family pictures.”

“So what—” I don’t know what I started to ask,but Ember cut me off.

“I was so focused on the fear of losing my dad, it never once fucking occurred to me to envision how I’d feel if it was the other way. If he was
also
… her dad.”