Authors: Andy Griffiths
If you've been inspired to become a banana mascot yourself, here's a guide that tells you everything you need to know.
The Seven Bs of
Banana-Mascotting
1. Be big
Let them know you're there. Make a big entrance. Grab their attention. Remember, you are not a peach, or a cherry, or a tiny insignificant grapeâyou are a banana!
2. Be careful
Watch out for uncovered manholes, escaped gorillas and discarded banana peels. And remember to look both ways when crossing a road.
3. Be exaggerated
You're in a huge costumeâyou need to double or even triple the actions you would normally do so your costume doesn't hide what you're doing. Marching is usually suggested; try not to drag your feet, but pick them up off the ground. A smooth wobble, a jump in your step, a fluid angry prowl, or even a child-like bounce adds character to your steps. If you're waving to thousands, make sure the guy in the upper row can see you. Use your whole body.
4. Be emotional
Think about how emotional sporting events can get. Practise a number of emotionsâhappy, sad, angry, scared, excitedâin front of a mirror with your banana head on. Learn where the facial features of your costume are and use them the way a banana would. Once you've mastered some emotions using your head and arms, try to use the rest of your body as well. Shivering, slow motion, trudging feet, tantrums, jumping up and down, and skipping are great moves to try.
5. Be respectful of people who don't like bananas
Believe it or not, not everybody goes bananas about bananas. If somebody is screaming and crying and
threatening to call the police if you don't leave immediately, it's a good idea to leave immediately.
6. Be brilliant
Be the best banana you can possibly be. Remember, your team is depending on you.
7. Be mindful of mascot madness
Don't spend too long in the suit at one time, and if you start to become overly fond of the colour yellow or find that you can't stop talking or thinking about bananas, get somebody to give you a big shock.