MASON (Second Chance Novels Book 2) (13 page)

"…so Cam told me you're not working at all this week?"

"No, Dig has the week off so we're hitting the investigation full time. Ledger's a hell of a boss for letting me have the time last minute."

"Having to hear that from Cam instead of you sucked," she said bluntly.

"I'm sorry, Shel. The whole issue came up so fast…"

"I wish you'd let that whole damn project go," she says again. "Dig hasn't even healed yet and you guys are going after it harder?"

"That's the only way to do it, Shel. But enough about that. Tell me about your week."

No matter how hard I try to focus on what she's saying, all I hear is …computers…boss…drinks with friends from work…
 

When I finally get off the phone with Shelby, I see Dig hanging up her own phone call. She's smiling like the cheshire cat.
 

"What's that all about?" I ask, pointing to the look on her face.

"Well, muscle head, while you've been playing the brute intimidation game, I've been doing some stealth finessing over the past few weeks," she says smugly.
 

"And exactly whom have you been finessing?"

"Mayor Bennett's mistress, well, the female one," she says sweetly while batting her eyes. "I didn't think his boyfriend would be as simple to manipulate."

I grin so widely. "You're kidding. And?"

"And…she invited me out dancing on Friday at Orion. She told me to bring a date. I hope you know how to move," she smiles with an ornery glint in her eye.
 

"Baby, be prepared to have your world rocked," I nod with an arrogant grin. Dig laughs at me and plops down in the middle of my couch, maybe for the first time. Usually we're fighting over the chair.
 

"Jesus, Pratt, your couch is a piece of shit," she says with her ass nearly on the floor.
 

"Yeah, I know, but I got it free," I shrug. "I guess I never bothered to get a different one."

"There's no way I'm letting you sleep out here. You'll break your back and we'll never get through the list," she says, still in disbelieve of the poor quality of my furniture. "You might as well take the other side of the bed again. There's room for us both."

"Are you ok with that?" I ask.

She rolls her eyes at me and holds her hand up so I can help her out of the cushion. I try to be careful, knowing she's still sore, especially her ribs. "Of course I am," she says very simply. "Just don't snore."

"Ok, as long as you promise not to kick me again."

"I didn't kick you last time," she dismisses.

I smirk. We both walk to my room and get ready for bed. We take turns brushing our teeth and using the bedroom as a dressing room. When I come out from my shower, Dig is in very cute pajamas. She's wearing a navy blue tank top with a pair of heather-gray shorts. She looks like she could be dressed for the gym, but all I see is sexy. On my bed. With those cute damn toes. I suppress a frustrated sigh.

We both crawl under the covers and she looks over at me with a small smile. "Good night, Mason."

"Night, Dig."

"I think if you're in bed with me, you should call me by my name," she grins. I can't help but grin back.
 

"Night, Sofia," I acquiesce. "I'm glad you're staying."

"Me, too."

The rest of the week is spent much that same way. The chairman of a local bank, the city treasurer, two councilmen, and a low-level aid enjoy our special treatment, all at one luncheon. For a shady police captain at another precinct, Dig and I bring him coffee…loudly. To add to the fun, an officer from Internal Affairs joins us. I'm fucking loving this. We play puppet-master with our targets and rest easily at night, smiling at each other more than I ever realized two people could. Thursday night Ledger calls, unfortunately. Jacks called off for a family issue and I'm needed at the bar. My shift is simple as usual, and working with Ledger is always a good time. Coming home, however, proves awkward.
 

I pull up at two a.m. and I see from the glow in my window that my living room lights are still on. I didn't expect Dig to be up so late.
 

"You ok?" I ask when I walk in. She's sitting at the table with the files open, but she doesn't have her focused, keen look.
 

"I think you better call Shelby," she says gravely.
 

"Is she ok? What happened?"

"She stopped by, and certainly didn't expect to see me here by myself, wearing your t-shirt," she says apologetically. "I spilled juice on my hoodie so I started a load of my laundry after I grabbed one of your shirts."

"Shit."

I'm standing here like the fuck up that I am, instantly trying to figure out how Shelby is feeling, how I can fix this, and wondering if this is when things end. My usual ability to analyze a situation quickly and respond has left me in this moment. Fuck! I can only hope Shelby's ok.
 

"Mason, you didn't tell her I was staying?"

"It never really came up," I stammered.
Because I didn't want her to know, because I knew she'd be hurt, because I was worried I'd have to take you home
, I want to add. I'm such a goddamn asshole.
 

"You should have seen the look on her face," Dig says while shaking her head. "She was devastated. She mumbled that you've shut her out completely. You need to go fix things with her."

Dig wants me to fix this? Now I'm more confused. I thought Dig was finding it difficult to fight our attraction, too. What the fuck am I supposed to do? If I fix this now, do I confess to my plans to go dancing with Dig tomorrow night? I'm not sure Shelby could emotionally differentiate between real life and undercover work at this point. If I end things, then what? Part of me still wants to hang on to that picket fence dream with her. When this investigation ends, maybe I could be one hundred percent hers again, and hope that my feelings for Dig are attached to the investigation. They'll be gone when we're done.

"Yeah," I mumble as I leave again. God damn it.

I drive a few neighborhoods over, still working through the situation. Nothing presents itself as an easy solution. I knock at the door and Cam answers almost immediately. She glares at me.
 

"Is she awake?" I ask quietly.

Cam nods and opens the door open wide enough for me to go through.
 

"She's in her room. Maybe still crying."

I don't bother commenting. I walk straight to Shelby's room and knock on the door softly. "Shel?"

"What," she says in an indescribable voice. She's lying in bed on her side, facing the door and staring at the wall. She won't even look at me. My heart breaks to see her angry and hurting that way, knowing I put the pain in her eyes.
 

"Hey," I say simply as I go to her side. I sit next to her and gently smooth her hair. "I'm sorry."

"For what exactly?" she asks, still shaky.
 

"All of it," I say. "I should have told you about not working this week. I should keep you more in the loop on the investigation. And I sure as hell should have told you that Dig is staying with me for now."

"Yeah, about that…don't you think that's something we should have discussed, instead of you just
telling
me? Then again, telling me would still have been better than leaving it out altogether," she says, her anger now obvious in her voice. "What would you think if I invited another man to stay here for a week?"

"I'd probably want to kick his ass," I say quietly. "And I'd wonder why."

"Exactly."

We sit in silence for a while, neither of us knowing what to say. She continues to stare at the wall, and I sit with my elbows on my knees and look at the floor. Things have never been so awkward between us.
 

"I asked her to stay because of the investigation," I finally say quietly. "Things are getting serious, and we didn't want anyone dangerous getting close to her family. I don't want her to get attacked again."

"Where is she sleeping?"

"My bed." I sigh.
 

"And you're sleeping on that awful couch?" she asks with suspicious disbelief. She took my silence as my admission. She sits straight up in the bed sharply. "You're sleeping in the same fucking bed?!"

"Shel—" I tried to start, but her voice cut me off flat.
 

"Get the hell out."

"Would you let me—"

"GET THE HELL OUT!"

Cam comes to the doorway to check on Shel. What a cluster fuck. I manage to hold on to my calm. "I'm not leaving yet."

Shelby grips her hair on both sides of her head in complete anger and confusion. I look up at Cam. "Give us a minute?" I request quietly. Cam looks to Shelby for her cue, and Shelby nods after a few very tense moments. Thank goodness.
 

We sit for another awkward moment before I get up and close the door. I sit again and take a deep breath. I can't stand to see Shelby hurting like this.
 

"I've let this vendetta take over," I own up to my guilt. "I spend too much time and focus on it, which leaves you hanging outside in the cold. I've been a jerk."

Shelby says nothing, so I continue.

"Dig is great to work with. We have a lot in common when it comes to this kind of job. But I don't want you to get the wrong idea. There's nothing going on between us."
 

Shelby sits quietly for another moment. "It's very hard to believe you," she says, still with anger in her voice. "And even if I do, that doesn't change the way you've treated me."

"I know, and I'm sorry," I say again.
 

"And where does all this even come from? You went straight from high school to working on truck engines. I mean, I saw you work on Cam's rescue, but that made sense. You were helping a friend. But now? It's hard not to wonder if this isn't more about
her
than the project. I saw you two connect. Hell, I practically pushed you two together by pitching in with the computer help."

I have no idea what to say. This started out having very little to do with Dig, but how can I tell that to Shelby without confessing to my real Army career? Of course she'd think otherwise. And I never should have told Dig anything real about my Army days, but I made an exception because we're the same. I sure as hell can't tell Shelby simply to end this argument.
 

"I don't know, Shel. I just don't like the injustice of it all."

She sighs and holds her head, still with anger and confusion.

"I don't know what the hell to think, Mason," she shakes her head. "You've been so distant for so long. I thought it would get better, but it's only getting worse. And now you're sleeping next to Dig every night. What the fuck?"

I lay down beside her, trying to find the right words. There's no excuse for any of this, and I cringe because she's right. I never considered Shelby when making any of these decisions. Now she's hurt and I feel like shit. I'm seeing my stable future slip through my fingers, and I can't let it. Seeing her hurt steels my determination to put my future back on the correct path. I need to hold onto Shelby while I finish the investigation, and put Dig out of my mind for good. She wants me to fix this anyway. I owe that to myself and also to Shel. She's been my destination, and she's a beautiful part of my world. Or maybe I'm a selfish bastard who fucking wants it all.
 

I pull her down to lay with me and wrap my arms around her. She reluctantly lets me hold her, but I can feel her jaw clench and her body tense. "We'll be ok," I try to reassure both of us.
 

"I still want to be with you," she says after a long silence. "But that's really difficult right now."

"I'm so sorry," I say yet again, sounding so hollow to myself. "I want you, too." And I do, I remind myself.
 

Half of me thinks I should roll her to her back and show her we're still together. My contradicting half reminds me of how easily my attention has focused elsewhere. I've never been so split apart in my life.
 

I don't make love to Shelby.

She notices.
 

"So that's it?" she says. "Awkward silence and an empty embrace?"

"I'm trying," I say.
 

"I think you should go," she says, two tears streaming down.

"Why are you crying?" my dumb ass asks.

"Because I'm sending you home to
her
."

I close my eyes and breathe out with determined calm. "Don't worry, Shel. I'll take the floor."

She sobs once in relief. I kiss her on the forehead and walk away. Things between us didn't end, but somehow it feels like they did. I stop in her doorway and we look at each other for a moment. I drop my eyes to the floor and shake my head gently before I walk straight to the front door without looking at Cam.
 

I drive home, feeling like I don't exist right now. The lights to my house are still on and I force a calm breath again. Without a word to Dig, I walk into my room and grab my pillow and an extra blanket from my closet. When I get back to the living room, she's standing there in her pajamas, staring at me with a cautious look on her face. I drop my bedding to the floor and say goodnight. She looks down and sighs before she closes herself in my bedroom.
 

Fuck
.
 

"Whaaat," I groan at my phone when it buzzes beside me.