Masque (21 page)

“No!” Synn came toward her and she backed away, her other
hand held out against him. He stopped and spread his hands to the sides. “No,
it was all true. You had nothing to be ashamed of. Bryce was a fool. You are a
beautiful, sexual, responsive woman and nothing we have done is wrong. I’ve
never lied to you, Rena.”

The tears welled in her eyes now, and she couldn’t seem to
stop them. His betrayal by not telling her, not trusting her, was too much against
what she felt for him. She shook her head. “You would have taken my dream
without even warning me. How could you do that? Don’t you feel anything?”

His shoulders slumped as he looked at the floor. “I—”

She couldn’t wait for an answer. “I mean, don’t you feel
anything besides guilt?”

His gaze lifted revealing unimaginable pain. “Yes, I do
feel. I feel a hopeless caring from you because there is nothing for me. It was
always about the spirits until you. For the first time since I walked into the
prince’s Masque, I wanted something for myself, but I can’t have anything,
Rena. Don’t you see? It must be about them, the spirits. Nothing else matters,
especially me.”

God, she couldn’t think anymore. The pain in her chest was
wrapped into his. “Go away. Just go. Please.”

“Rena, I…” He lowered his head. “I’m sorry.” He turned away
and headed for the door.

She couldn’t see clearly as the tears cascaded down her
face, but she did see him hesitate as he reached for the knob. Instead of
turning it, he clenched his hands into fists and walked through the door
without opening it.

At the sight, she fell onto the bed, her hand still pressed
against her chest in a hopeless attempt to stop the hurt.

Synn rematerialized outside Rena’s door. He had no energy
left to stay invisible. He took the eight steps to the top of the stairs and
stopped. He had nowhere to go, no reason to continue now, not for Rena, not for
the ghosts.

The weight of his ultimate failure pressed down upon his
shoulders so heavily, he simply could no longer stand and he sat where he was
at the top of the steps. Yet, even holding his head up became too much effort.
With his elbows on his knees he let his head fall into his hands.

He’d been so close, but had once again let his companions
down. How would he tell them? They were better off with no hope, better without
him. He glanced down at the front door. If he stepped outside…

The image of Rena’s face flushed with desire rose before
him. His heart tightened, cutting off his breath. He gasped. He had put the
Masque before Rena, ignoring the fact that her needs had to come first if he
wanted to free his friends. That she should come first in his actions as well
as his heart. What had he done?

“Synn?” Trent ascended the stairs toward him.

He didn’t answer.

The big man sat next to him, his bulk filling the rest of
the step. “We thought you’d be at the Masque.”

Synn released a hopeless snort. “Me too.”

“What happened?” Trent lowered his voice. “Has she decided
against the Bondage Room?”

Synn shook his head. “She would love the Black Room.” The
man next to him didn’t say a word, but he and everyone else deserved some
answers. “I’ve failed again. Rena won’t be completing the Masque.”

Trent shrugged. “Guess we’ll just have to wait for another
person to complete the Masque. Have you thought about asking Jamie and Valerie?
They seem to be sexually active.”

Synn lifted his head and stared at Trent. “But that could
take another month. That is if they’d even be willing.”

“What’s another month when we’ve been here forever?”

Synn leaned back against the railing. “I thought you were
anxious to cross over.”

“Of course I am. Everyone is, but it’s not like a month or
two would make a difference. Actually, it gives us time to prepare.”

Synn shook his head. “But you’ve already been stuck in this
hellish abbey for so long. I thought everyone couldn’t wait to get out.”

Trent stared him in the eye. “No,
you
can’t wait for
us to get out.”

“What? No. I want to help you cross because that’s what you
want.”

Trent laid his hand on Synn’s shoulder. The touch was cool.
“Synn, it isn’t as if we are being tortured here. We’ve enjoyed our years here.
In fact, in my case, I have fallen in love while here, something I’d never done
before. You are the one who is cursed. I know our crossing over will release
you from the guilt you carry and for that I’m glad.”

Synn’s mind awoke and raced. They weren’t miserable? They
didn’t mind waiting? Why had he thought they were? Blast, he didn’t know his
ass from his head at the moment. How much of his own feelings had he thought
were theirs? He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly lost.

Trent removed his hand. “If Rena would be willing to
experience the Black Room, then why do you say that you cannot complete the
Masque?”

“Bloody hell. It’s my fault. I didn’t tell her that by
completing the Masque you would cross over. That means that her heart’s desire,
to have a successful boarding house, which she can only do here if it’s haunted
by ghosts, would never come to fruition. She is hurt that I would have done
that. She’s upset that I didn’t tell her and let her decide. But I couldn’t.
What if she decided not to?”

Trent shook his head. “Damn, you did bury yourself.”

He sighed. “Yes, I did. And your idea to have Valerie and
Jamie complete the Masque won’t work either because Valerie would never do that
to Rena. I have no idea what I’m going to do now.” He glanced at the front door
and shivered. That option didn’t appeal to him.

Trent stood. “I think you need to decide which problem needs
a resolution first, us or Rena. Frankly, I suggest Rena because the rest of us
are used to waiting.”

Synn looked up at his friend of over a hundred years. If he
was a selfish man, he’d never let them cross, but they meant too much to him
now. “Thanks for the advice.”

Trent smirked. “Trust me, I learned the hard way. It’s good
to share it with at least one other person. I better go find Gwen, and I’ll let
the others know that the completion has been delayed.”

Synn nodded and watched as Trent descended the stairs and
headed into the Blue Room. Knowing the ghosts were in no hurry lifted a huge
weight off his shoulders. Maybe he could still convince Rena to finish the
Masque. He glanced back at the closed door to her room. At least now he could
give her some time to be angry at him and maybe forgive him. In the meantime,
he would suffer the punishment he had brought upon himself. Ever since he’d
heard she wanted to be tied up, he’d anticipated the Black Room and had been
walking around with an erection inside his pants.

Shaking his head at his own idiocy, he stood. Energy
returned to his limbs and his brain. He strode down the hall to head for the
roof. He had a lot of thinking to do.

* * * * *

Rena fiddled with her oatmeal while she watched Mrs.
McMurray set down another pot of coffee. Synn’s revelation last night had shed
a whole new light on her own relationship to the ghosts within her abbey. She
found herself torn.

“Would you like anything else, Miss?”

She smiled warmly. “No, thank you. You’ve anticipated my
every need.”

Mrs. McMurray blushed. “Now then, you need not fill my head
with such generous compliments. It’s my pleasure to be of service again. Eat up
your porridge. You need your strength for all this work you are doing.”

Rena shook her head even as Mrs. McMurray left the room. She
hadn’t done much physical work on the Abbey, just a lot of decision making and
website design, a design based on a haunted Abbey. Urgh. She took a sip of
coffee and cradled the hot cup in her hands. What should she do? By not
finishing the Black Room, she forced the ghosts to remain, and that would make
her successful. But how could she do that to them after they had been trapped
for so long already? Would twenty more years bother them?

That was selfish, as was the fact that she didn’t want them
to leave. “Ah, shit.”

“Shit what?” Valerie strode in, carrying her usual notepad.
Did the woman go to bed with it? Didn’t she have Jamie to keep her occupied?
Rena looked through the doorway to see if he was on his way in.

“He went home yesterday. Wanted to check in on his mom and
pick up some clean clothes. So what were you shitting about?”

Rena put her cup down and pushed away her bowl. Her stomach
wasn’t doing well this morning and the thought of what Synn had done made it
close down completely. “Synn is an ass.”

Valerie stopped in the middle of pouring her coffee. “Yeah?
So tell me something I don’t know.”

“No, I mean really. Do you know that last night he expected
me to go to the Black Room with him and if I had, all these ghosts would be
gone today?”

“What?” Valerie put down the pot and took a hurried sip of
her coffee. “Okay, tell me. All of it.”

Rena did, including Bryce’s presence at the Masque and his
reason for breaking off their engagement. She even admitted her own enjoyment
as well as Synn’s final betrayal. It just poured from her in a newfound
confidence that through it all, she had done nothing wrong except lose her
heart to a cursed man who would have killed her dream.

Valerie poured herself a full cup of coffee before
commenting. “Okay, we have a shitload of stuff to work through here, don’t we?”

Rena nodded, her eyes growing misty at her friend’s complete
understanding. “I don’t know what to do. If I finish the Masque I free all
these souls, but then we no longer have a haunted bed-and-breakfast. I’m not sure
if this place will make it if it’s not haunted and then I’ll be the homeless
one. I so wanted to prove I could do this. But how can I force these people to
stay here when I might have the ability to help them? And then there is Synn.”

She took a deep breath, the hurt in her heart making it
difficult. “To finish the Masque I must do so with Synn. How can I, after what
he’s done? I loved him and he would have destroyed my dream without telling me.
How could I have sex with someone I don’t trust?”

Valerie put up her hand. “Can we examine for a moment where
this dream came from? I think you need to be realistic. Why did you want to
make this abbey a success?”

“You know that. To prove to myself that I could do it.”

Valerie shook her head. “But why did you feel a need to even
prove this to yourself?”

She hesitated. “Bryce.”

“Exactly. You struck out on this project because of what
Bryce said. Do you still feel the need to prove yourself?”

Did she? “No, not as much, but now it’s become financial. I
have no choice.”

Valerie looked at her shrewdly. “Why don’t you need to prove
yourself?”

“Because Bryce admitted he was wrong after he caved in to
his own sexual desires. I finally saw him for all that he was thanks to Synn.”

Valerie raised her brow, but didn’t say anything.

Synn’s presence in her life had given her a new confidence
about everything, so much so that even before Bryce had enjoyed the Masque, she
had seen through him. That Synn had arranged Bryce’s fall had not been for him,
but for her. Great, just what she needed right now, to start being grateful to
Synn.

She lifted her gaze to her friend’s. “Like I said. Shit. I’m
stuck between a rock, a hard place and a brick wall.”

“I don’t think so.” Valerie stood. “Let’s think this
through. First, let’s start with the ghosts. I don’t know about you, but I’ve
grown pretty fond of them.”

Rena nodded. She was more than fond of them. Some of them
she’d actually been intimate with, but Valerie didn’t need to know that.

“So if we open this place as you planned, wouldn’t we be
using them, much like a sideshow oddity?”

“Oh my God! I hadn’t thought of it like that. I never
expected them to be so real. I can’t do that to them.”

Her friend crossed her arms over her chest and raised her
eyebrow again.

Rena’s stomach tightened. “So even if they don’t leave, I
would sabotage myself by not advertising their presence. I would protect them,
wouldn’t I?”

Valerie nodded, a sympathetic smile on her face.

“I’m going to fail again, aren’t I?”

“Not necessarily. I think what we need is a planning session
like we used to do in college. I know we can brainstorm something.”

Rena let the doubt creep into her voice. “Right. So say we
figure out a way to make the Abbey successful without the ghosts, I still need
to have sex with Synn again in order to release them, but we aren’t even on
speaking terms at the moment.”

Her friend shrugged. “I’m afraid that’s up to you. You need
to decide what you want from Synn. Will it be a last-night stand or do you want
something more?”

Rena closed her eyes, the pain in her heart making it clear
she wanted more from Synn than he might be able to give.

Synn moved through the dining room wall and back into the
entryway before materializing. The play of emotions on Rena’s face had almost
caused him to appear. He hadn’t realized how much she cared for him. The image
of them together as a couple like Jonathan and Eve was too enticing. He had to
crush it. Being together would be no way for her to live her life. He’d had his
chance before the Red Death and missed it. He wouldn’t do that to her. He cared
too much for her.

Meandering through the colored rooms, he relived the
exciting sex he’d had with Rena in each. Her shy exuberance had made him see
each room through a new lens. He was her first with every experience. She was a
true Masque virgin. His body warmed inside at the connection they had made.
They were bonded in this. So how were they to accomplish a “last-night stand”
as Valerie put it? How could he let her go?

He stopped in the Black Room. The image of the fateful night
when the prince had touched the dreaded mask he’d worn and dropped at his feet
tore through his mind in vibrant brilliancy. His own shock and despair as more
dropped dead traveled once more through his veins. Twenty-one bodies surrounded
him, still, silent, when but a moment earlier they had been carefree, happy. He
covered his face with his hands and swayed.