Masquerade (5 page)

“
It’s Thursday. I have
Bible study at church, remember?”

“
Not tonight. I called your
mother and told her I needed you to help me with some chores around
the barn.”

“
Everything looked done to
me.”

“
It’ll be our little
secret,” Grandma said, turning to wink at me.

I smiled. “I’m surprised she agreed. I
didn’t go earlier this week either.” This meant that I would
probably get a lecture later on skipping church and being
unavailable to God. I sighed.

“
I’m sure you could use the
break,” she said, placing a plate of spaghetti in front of me.
Could she know how tied up I felt inside?

“
Thanks.”

She joined me at the table with a
plate of her own and a basket full of garlic bread, which she
placed directly in front of me. I took a piece, not wanting to seem
unappreciative of the meal.

“
How is school?”

I took a small bite of spaghetti; it
was warm and slightly sweet. “Fine.”

“
Nothing new going
on?”

“
Kimber and Cole broke
up.”

She smiled. “I’m sure it’s
temporary.”

I nodded, not wanting to
go into details. I took another bite, and I surprised myself by
saying,“We got a new kid.”

“
How exciting.”

I shrugged. “He’s in my home economics
class.”

Grandma leaned across the table to
whisper, “Is he handsome?”

I giggled. “Yes.”

“
Have you talked to
him?”

My smile faded.
“No.”
He doesn’t even know I’m
alive.

“
Maybe you should say
hello.”

“
Why would he want to talk
to me?” I felt embarrassed to say it out loud.

“
Why wouldn’t
he?”

I shrugged, sorry to have brought up
Sam.

Grandma sighed. “You are
far more than those scars, Heven.”

My eyes flew to her face. Not many
people brought up my face. It was dangerous territory. Instead of
getting angry I felt my eyes fill. “I’m hideous.”

“
You could never be
hideous.”

“
Forget it.” I wanted this
conversation over.

“
I can’t forget it,” Gran
said, not giving up so easily. “I don’t like to hear you talk about
yourself that way. Your scars do not define you, young lady. Your
actions do.”

“
It’s hard to act confident
when I feel anything but,” I mumbled.

“
I know that.” Gran reached
across the table and covered my hand with hers. “But hiding from
who you are isn’t going to make you feel any better.”

I let my fork fall to my
plate. I didn’t want to hide who I was
–
I just wasn’t sure who that was
anymore.

“
Pass me the bread,” Gran
asked.

It was right next to her,
so I figured that was her way of telling me that she was finally
going to let it go. Grateful, I passed the bread.

We finished the meal in
silence.

The next morning Kimber
laid on the horn earlier than usual. I ran down the stairs calling
a goodbye to Mom, not even bothering to pretend to have breakfast.
As usual I stopped at the big mirror by the front door and forced
myself to look up. My blond hair hung over my shoulders
and face, concealing as much as it could. It
wasn’t as shiny or healthy looking as
Before,
and my
blue eyes were a little dull. I told myself it was because I
hadn’t slept well the night before. I never bothered with makeup
anymore, but at least my skin was clear. I was dressed in my usual
baggy shirt and jeans. Kimber laid on the horn again, and I ran out
the door.

“
You in a hurry?” I
grumped, sliding into the passenger seat.

“
You didn’t call me last
night,” she accused.

“
Sorry.”

“
I called you like a
hundred times!”

“
I was tired. Is something
wrong?” I looked over at her. She was dressed just as fierce as
always. Her thick red hair tumbled over her shoulders and she was
wearing a long knit dress with a bold, colorful print. Her denim
jacket was scuffed up and worn in all the right places. She didn’t
look like anything was wrong.

“
We have been invited to a
party this weekend!”

“
Great.”

“
Ask me who.”

“
Whose party is
it?”

“
Josh Turner’s!”

“
The varsity quarterback?”
I asked curiously.

“
Yes!” She clapped her
hands, about to burst.

“
Wow.”

“
I know, right? It is going
to be awesome! His parties are legendary.”

“
Yeah.” His parties were
always the topic of conversation for weeks afterward. Even though
Kimber and I had never been to one, we always heard every last
detail in the hallways at school.

“
Aren’t you excited?” she
asked, exasperated.

“
Thrilled.” I tried to
inject some enthusiasm in my voice.

She pinned me with a look that made my
stomach hurt. “You are not getting out of this one. You’re
going.”

I wet my lips with my
tongue.

“
It’s tonight.”

“
Tonight!” I
gasped.

“
Yes. Come over after
school, you can borrow something to wear.”

“
I can’t.”

“
Please…” she
sang.

“
I can’t.”

“
Please, please,
please…”

Her begging was pathetic.

“
We have been waiting for
an invite to one of these since freshman year!”

That was true. “You go…without
me.”

“
If you don’t go, I
don’t.”

“
That isn’t fair,” I
groaned.

“
I’ll hold it over your
head forever!”

“
Fine,” I agreed,
weary.

She squealed as she pulled
into the parking lot at school
.
I was actually glad to be here just to get out of
the car. “Have you talked to Cole?” I asked just because I was mad
that she’d guilted me into going to the party.

She made a face. “Yesterday. Something
else you would have known if you’d have called me back.”

I straightened the hood on my head and
stifled an eye roll.

“
He wants to get back
together.”

“
Did you forgive him?” Hope
bloomed in my chest.

“
Are you kidding? I told
him I wasn’t sure what I wanted.”

“
Why would you say
that?”

She shrugged. “Let him wonder for a
while.”

I opened the door to get
out.

“
He’s coming tonight,” she
said over the hood of her car.

Great. More drama. Maybe
I’ll have a panic attack, and it will
really
be fun.

“
My plan begins
tonight.”

My heart froze. “You’re
plan?”

“
Sam is bound to be there
tonight. He’s, like, the biggest attraction at school right
now.”

“
What are you going to do,
Kimber?”

She smiled. “You’ll see.”

Chapter Four

Heven

I looked down at the clothes draped
across my bed and frowned. How did I get myself into this
situation? Just minutes before, Kimber had dropped me off with a
promise to return to get me later. I stood there wondering if she’d
believe me if I suddenly got sick. Not likely.

The outfit she picked out was
gorgeous, of course. Too gorgeous. I didn’t wear stuff like this
anymore. What was the point of trying to look pretty? The dark
denim jeans were designer, and so was the top. It didn’t have a
hood. It was a V-neck. Ugh.

There was a knock on the door before
it swung open. “Have a good day?” Mom asked.

“
Great,” I lied.
“You?”

“
Yes, thank you.” She eyed
the clothes on my bed. “Do you have plans tonight?”

I nodded. “If it’s okay Kimber was
invited to a party, and she asked me to come too.” I threw the
‘party’ word out there in hopes she would tell me I wasn’t allowed
to go.

Her eyes narrowed. “Who’s
party?”

I told her. She stared at me for long
moments. I waited for a lecture – I was overdue. She hadn’t said a
word about me missing Bible study again last night. She asked about
Grandma, and I told her about school, and that was all. I came home
late today, and now I was asking to go to a party. She wouldn’t let
me get away with it.

“
His mother is in my Bible
study group. She’s very nice.”

I nodded.

“
Be home by
eleven.”

That was it? Just like that?
“Really?”

“
Yes. We’ll have breakfast
in the morning, and you can tell me about it.”

“
Okay.” She shut the door
and left me standing there, empty. Now how was I going to get out
of this?

I didn’t get out of it. At precisely
the designated time, Kimber pulled into the driveway. I went slowly
down the stairs toward the front door. Mom looked up from her book,
her eyes running over me. Did she look slightly
relieved?

I wasn’t wearing what Kimber wanted me
to wear. I couldn’t bring myself to wear that top. So in concession
I was wearing the jeans, but they didn’t look the way Kimber
thought they would. They were too big; everything of mine was.
Instead of hugging my curves, the jeans hung off of them, which was
fine by me. I elected to wear a hoodie, but a nice one. It was made
of a fine knit and it was a nice shade of blue. It wasn’t as baggy
as all my other ones. In an attempt to dress it up further, I wore
a silver cross pendant.

“
You look nice. I haven’t
seen that necklace in a while,” Mom said.

“
Thanks. I’ll see you
later.” I hoped that she would call me back and say she changed her
mind.

I opened the front door and looked
back.

She’d already returned to her
book.

In the car Kimber demanded, “What
happened to the outfit I picked out for you?”

“
I’m wearing the jeans,” I
answered defensively.

“
Those are my jeans?” She
sounded shocked. “How much weight have you lost anyway?”

I shrugged. I was
thin
Before
, but
she had always been thinner. I guess not anymore.

She muttered under her breath and
backed out of the drive. I looked out my window and wondered how
bad this night was going to be.

The party was bumping, and there were
far more people than I expected. It seemed like half the student
body of Windham High was there. “Kimber, I…” my voice cracked and
fell away as I looked at the front door.

“
Chill, Heven. Everything
is going to be great!”

Before I could throw myself into the
bushes, the front door opened and loud music vibrated out around
us. “Ladies!” Some drunk dude from the senior class boomed. Kimber
grabbed my hand and pulled me inside as I smiled thinking of what
my mother would say now about her friend from Bible
study.

We chatted (rather Kimber chatted)
with everyone we knew, and she dragged me into the kitchen for a
drink. She tried handing me a cup of red punch, and I lifted an
eyebrow at her. “Seriously?” I yelled over the music.

Kimber rolled her eyes and reached
into a cooler to pull out a Coke and handed it to me. I watched in
horror as she took a long sip of the red ‘punch.’ “It’s definitely
loaded,” she called to me, taking another sip. I held out my palm,
and she rolled her eyes, but surrendered her keys without argument.
“Let’s find Cole.” She grabbed my hand and towed me through yet
another huge crowd out into the back yard.

The back yard was huge, and it had a
kidney-shaped pool, a hot tub, and a gazebo. People were dancing
and yelling to each other over the loud music, but at least it was
fairly dark. The only illumination came from the few lights on the
deck and the back of the house. Kimber pulled me off to the side of
the deck and pointed. “There he is.”

Cole was on the other side of the
pool, lounging against a large brick planter. He was surrounded by
half the football team, and while he was smiling, his eyes scanned
the crowd every few seconds. “He’s looking for you.”

“
Yeah, and I’m going to
give him something to look at.” With her declaration she released
me and strutted away, her hips moving seductively and attracting
the gaze of every guy she passed by. Except she wasn’t walking
toward Cole. I felt the blood drain from my face when I looked past
Kimber to whom she was strutting toward.