Masquerade (8 page)

“
You didn’t.” My shaky
voice betrayed me.

He sat back in his chair and watched
me for several moments until I looked up. He seemed angry with his
jaw set and hand clenched in his lap. “I’m sorry,” I told
him.

“
Me too.” The simple words
were spoken like he truly meant them, and I couldn’t figure out
what he might be so sorry for.
Was it was
the fact that he tried to touch me, or the fact I was too chicken
to let him.

“
I have to go, I…I don’t
want to be late for class.”

His white teeth flashed, and he
laughed.

“
What?” I
scowled.

He motioned to the room, and I managed
to break my eyes away from his beauty.

I gasped. “How long?”

“
About five minutes.” He
was amused.

I, of course, was mortified. I’d sat
there with Sam for five minutes without noticing that the room was
completely empty.

Chapter Five

Heven

The skies were dark and cloudy,
matching my mood. Why did I always allow her to talk me into things
that I absolutely did not want to do? From the window seat of the
bus I stared out, watching the trees bow and sway in the increasing
wind.

A storm was coming.

In the glass of the window I saw
Kimber slide into the seat beside me. With a sigh I turned to face
her.

“
Want me to do your
hair?”

“
No,” I replied quickly.
“I’ll do it before we go on.”

She didn’t press, which was a good
thing. “Thanks for doing this,” she said, lowering her
voice.

I looked down at my lap,
noting the bright colors of my cheerleading uniform – something I
thought I would never wear again. I thought back to the day at
lunch, the day I secretly think of as “the day Sam stole my heart”,
and
remembered the broken look on Kimber’s
face after school
.
Her strategic ‘dating’ of Sam worked too well
so things with Cole were not going well. In my
head I told myself that it was her fault, and in my heart, I felt a
teeny bit of satisfaction that she was getting a little payback for
making me watch her with Sam. But she was my best friend – my only
friend, and I hated to see that broken look on her face. So, when I
denied her request once more to cheer for the competition, she
informed me that I was their last hope. If I did not agree to learn
the cheer, then the entire squad would have to forfeit. How could I
do that to my old squad? It made me feel downright
guilty.

So here I sat, on a bus headed toward
Portland, for a very public cheering competition. The girls
surprised me with smiles and welcomes. I even got a few thank yous
for bailing them out of a forfeit, and it felt good to be back with
the squad. The practices were fun, and the routine was super easy
to learn; I even managed to change a few moves to make it better.
If only I could skip the competition. Every mile that we drew
closer to Portland the more nervous I got.

“
You’re nervous,
huh?”

I nodded.

“
No one is even going to
notice.”

She was trying to be nice, but I knew
better. My puckered, raised scars were too noticeable, and to top
it off we had to wear our hair up. Ugh. At least I managed to talk
the coach into letting me be in the back. She wanted me in the
front, but I made it clear it was the back row or
nothing.

“
Let’s talk about something
else,” I said. “How are things with Cole?”

She screwed her face up. “I really
messed things up good.”

“
He’s still
mad?”

“
Hurt, angry and betrayed
is more like it. But he’s driving up here today to
watch.”

“
That’s great!”

“
Yeah. I don’t know if I
can fix things with him. I was stupid.”

I was afraid to ask about Sam and what
was going on between them. She hadn’t mentioned him in a while, but
I saw them in the hall the other day. “His coming up here is a good
sign.”

“
Yeah. Although I think
that he might be coming just to see what I’m doing, or rather what
I’m not doing.”

“
Oh.”

“
I feel bad for Sam,
though.”

“
Why?” My heart picked up
at his mention.

“
Cole is pissed, and it’s
mostly directed at him.”

“
Kimber! You can’t let him
be mad at Sam for something that isn’t even his fault!” My breath
stuttered, and I felt my control slipping. The thought of Sam
getting hurt was more than I could bear.

“
I know,” she answered
miserably. “But with Cole so mad at Sam, he isn’t as mad at
me.”

“
Kimber,” I
gasped.

“
Fine. I’ll tell
him.”

“
Want me to talk to
Cole?”

“
Couldn’t hurt. Cole has a
soft spot for you.” She nudged me with her elbow. I couldn’t help
but smile.

“
You’ll be great today,”
Kimber whispered, sinking down to rest her head on my
shoulder.

I stared out the bus window at the
gathering clouds, hoping just to make it through the
day.

The roar of the crowd and the loud
beat of the music made me want to throw up. I stood behind the
curtain waiting for the signal that it was our turn to perform. I
couldn’t stand still, shifting from one foot to the other and
fidgeting with my ponytail.

“
Your hair is fine,” Kimber
said from beside me.

“
Well, yours looks
gorgeous.”

Kimber smiled. Then the announcer was
calling for our squad, and the crowd was cheering. The next thing I
knew, I was being pulled and pushed by the girls out onto the
platform beneath bright lights. I found my spot, my feet feeling
like concrete blocks, and stood still while everyone moved around
me, getting ready. Panic rushed through me as the hundreds of faces
in the crowd blurred to one. I couldn’t do this. I. Could. Not. Do.
This.

Just as our music began
playing there was movement in the crowd that drew my eye. It was
Sam. My eyes locked on his, and he nodded. That profound, familiar
feeling of safety that he always brought flowed through me.
I
could
do this.
His presence meant everything to me. Air filled my lungs as the
squad started moving. I plastered a huge smile on my face and
performed the routine with perfection, all the while keeping my
eyes on Sam.

Before I knew it the
audience was clapping and cheering and the music went off. The
girls bustled around me, high fiving each other and squealing with
excitement. But I just stood there, a solitary being in the center
of chaos. I couldn’t look away from Sam. I didn’t want to. He was
here for me. I felt it in my core; I could practically taste it in
the air. He never once looked away during the entire performance.
It was as if he knew that he was the one thing that tethered me to
the floor. He never once glanced in the direction of Kimber; it was
almost as if no one else existed for him but me. I marveled in the
fact that I could have the most personal moment of my life in a
room filled with people.

Someone tugged at my arm. “Come on,
Heven. We have to go.”

“
Yeah, okay,” I told them
without taking my eyes away from Sam.

He nodded once and his
lips curved up in a secret smile. A smile directed at only me. My
heart fluttered beneath my ribs. Before I could smile back I was
pulled away behind the curtains, and I was jarred back to life by
the noise and people around me. It was such a stark contrast to
what I felt only moments before I actually wondered if I had
imagined everything that just happened.

I stood in front of a large mirror,
wiping the stage makeup from my face. We nailed the competition and
won. Everyone was thrilled. I was just relieved it was over and
maybe a little proud of myself for doing it. My nerves were still
raw from the stress of all the people, and sometimes it was still
hard to draw a breath.

I tossed the cotton pad in the trash
and reached for another, dousing it with makeup remover. The makeup
was thick, and I wanted it gone. Somehow I felt that it drew more
attention to my scars than away from them like it was meant to
do.

“
Hey, girl.” Kimber smiled,
coming up behind me.

“
Where is
everyone?”

“
Loading the bus. Time to
go.”

“
I’ll be right
there.”

“
I’ll be outside talking to
Cole.”

When all the makeup was gone, I
brushed my hands through my hair, already released from the dreaded
pony and pulled it over my shoulders. When I reached down to flip
the brush into my bag I caught a glimpse of half my reflection. My
good side. I straightened up keeping the edge of the mirror
splitting my face in half. When I looked at myself this way, I
could almost believe my accident had been a horrible nightmare, and
what I saw on this half of my face was exactly the same on the
other.

Behind me the door creaked open, and I
bent to grab my bag. “I’ll be right there.”

I stood to find Sam’s
reflection watching me in the mirror. My good side was still the
only side of me showing, and for a brief moment I stared at us both
and pretended that I was beautiful enough to fit with him. He took
a step forward and then another until he stood just behind me. I
watched as he slowly reached out and pulled my hair behind my
shoulder. His knuckles skimmed along my jaw and then his hand
settled around my neck, his fingers splaying lightly over my
skin.

Sometimes he seems so
familiar.
It was a feeling, fleeting at
best, and it was too complicated to explain. Mostly it was an
instinct that I was safe. I shook my head, unwilling to admit such
a thing.

“
What do you see?” He
hitched his chin at our reflection.

“
What will never
be.”

He took my shoulders and turned me to
face him. When I ducked my head he placed a finger beneath my chin
and lifted my face. “I think you’re beautiful.”

“
Half of me.”

His hand rested over my heart. “All of
you.”

“
You don’t know
me.”

“
I
sense
you.” The words said in his
husky tone dripped with intimacy.

“
Why are you
here?”

Kimber picked that moment to burst
through the door. She stopped cold at the sight before her. I
stepped away quickly, but Sam stayed where he was, not even turning
to look at her.

“
Kimber, I…”

She was shocked and
probably hurt by seeing me like this with Sam, but she didn’t say a
word. “I’ll tell the bus driver you’re having a
lady
issue
and need a few minutes.”

“
No, I…”

“
Take your time. I’ll see
you on the bus.” And then she was gone.

“
Crap,” I said.

Sam smiled.

“
You think this is
funny?”

“
I think you’re cute when
you’re flustered.”

I held in a groan. “Why are you
here?”

“
For you.”

“
Me?”

“
I thought you might like a
friendly face in the stands.”

I felt a warm blush bloom in my cheeks
and hoped it wasn’t noticeable. “What about Kimber?”

“
Her heart belongs to
another.”

So he knew that she really wanted
Cole. Was I some kind of consolation prize? Was he taking pity on
the disfigured girl to make himself feel better? “I have to go.” I
tried to rush past him but he caught my hand.

“
What did I
say?”

“
Nothing.” Exactly
nothing.

“
I was never interested in
Kimber. I’m interested in you.”

I laughed. “Yeah, right.”

“
You don’t believe me?” Why
did this surprise him?

I shook my head.

He stepped closer.

My knees turned to Jell-O.
But I was spared embarrassment from falling because he put those
strong hands at my waist and bent his head. I swallowed thickly as
he put his lips to my ear. “
Sense
it.”

He was good. Really good.

“
Can you?” he whispered,
and then his lips brushed my cheek.

“
W-what?”

His lips brushed my cheek
again, and my eyes closed. But then he stiffened and rose to his
full height, keeping his hands at my waist. Behind us the door
burst open and something hit Sam hard. He didn’t lose his balance,
but the force of the hit vibrated through him into
me
.
His eyes were
sad and apologetic while he removed his hands from me.

“
Turn around you
bastard.”