Mastering Hypnotic Language - Further Confessions of a Rogue Hypnotist (5 page)

Living the
high
life…
high
on the hog…
highlight
…on the
up!
Geddit?

And finally…

In working with internal images that bother a client by causing anxiety you can say,

‘Take that image that
bothered
you, drain the colour out, make it black and white,
push it away into the distance
till it disappears completely…’

As you can see both temporal and spatial predicates are involved. NLP greatly exaggerates the usefulness of so-called sub modality work. Again this will be discussed in a later book.

In hypnosis ‘utilisation’ means using whatever the client or environment offers you, you turn to your advantage: it is a reframe.
Whatever someone offers you is to be used or effortlessly transformed.

It seemed whenever I got hypnosis clients my old next door neighbours would bring out a chainsaw to cut their hedge or were turning their nice gardens into sterile driveways (because it's fashionable!) This involved equipment that sounds like a plane taking off. Could be a teenager drives by playing loud music. Do not despair!

Don’t fight, don’t panic: use it, whatever it is, however seemingly improbable it is that anyone could be relaxed/hypnotised because of it – trust me, they can. Babies can sleep anywhere, no matter what the noise. People can concentrate on anything fascinating even if the environment is busy (I originally wrote busty!) or noisy.

A client comes in. You start hypnosis and they start giggling! So you say,

‘That’s great: it is a bit funny isn’t it? Me speaking in a funny hypno-voice; but the more you laugh, the more you relax, laughing makes you relax, laughter is an unconscious response…etc.’

Accept their response and use it. Just today a woman said she was excited and wanted to laugh, I simply said,

‘Yeah that’s normal, it is funny, I’ll be putting on a funny voice in a minute, it is silly, the whole situation is ridiculous when you think about it.’

Not a titter.

You are hypnotising someone, your stupid neighbour starts cutting their lawn with a whining lawnmower or a great big fleet of a tanker lorry drives by outside so that the earth shakes! So you say,

‘And as that lorry drives by, as it goes off into the distance you go deeper and deeper, that’s right…’

‘No sounds bother you in any way, shape or form; they just take you deeper…’

If a client awakes to answer a mobile phone or get comfy, just say,

‘That’s right just make yourself more comfy/sure answer the phone…’

When they finished you say, (they’ll apologise…)

‘Not to worry, close your eyes and know that when you awaken from trance it’s easier to go deeper than before…all the way down.’

In this example you are using ‘fractionation’ (I’ll show you how in another book though it is entirely surplus to requirements); the idea that putting someone under and waking them up and putting them under and waking them up takes them deeper. It does and here you are utilising the fact that the twit left their phone on (and they will trust me!) They have done you a favour!
Things won’t always go to plan, that’s life: stay calm and just think: how can I use this?
How can I turn this cockup to my advantage? This is a good use of reframing. What if everything they do only made it easier to hypnotise them? That’s a good belief to operate from and 99% of the time it’s true.

If someone, it will be a man, tries to resist say,

‘That’s right you are so powerful, like a superhero, imagine yourself as your favourite superhero fighting against a villain, imagine all the amazing powers you’d have! Perhaps you are flying through the sky!’

As soon as they start visualising, you got ‘em.

Although I have given you lots: I want you to get your money’s worth, the simple fact is:
you don’t need to use ANY ‘language pattern’ to get trance or hypnosis.
But ‘have you ever’ is a good one. How do you use it? Well, firstly what does it do? It really says ‘remember or re-access an experience, resource, emotion etc..’

‘Have you ever relaxed on a beach?’

This seemingly innocent remark actually asks the brain to do this: find a memory of sitting on a beach in a relaxed state of mind and body. By accessing a relaxing memory the person will access a bit of the relaxation.
The memory and emotions are associated.

‘Have you ever felt confident?’

Everyone feels confident some of the time, in certain situations. Even people with phobias are troubled by varying degrees of phobic response. But where am I sending them? To access confidence. I am directionalising the brain. I am starting the re-associative process.
Hypnotherapy re-associates the brain to helpful resources that hitherto the client couldn’t access in a certain situation in a waking state.
More on this in my next book.

‘Have you ever been in love?’

Ask a woman this and unless she is severely emotionally repressed she will re-access that feeling of love instantly. Be careful using this, not really therapeutically appropriate unless there is some real purpose to asking it.

That’s an easy one to remember. Next!

In order to cut the B-S you need people to be specific. Specific language is the opposite of hypnotic language. It wakes you up and connects to real things instead of abstractions and generalisations that literally do hypnotise people including the speaker. This has been known far longer than the development of NLP, which often claims to have reinvented the wheel.

‘I eat healthily…’ says a weight loss client.

‘Really what do you eat? Can you outline your daily meals for me?’

‘I eat cakes, biscuits blah, blah…’

That honestly happens. Clients and people in general like to lie, fib a bit, give half-truths – it’s actually a way of not facing up to reality, rarely its ignorance. It’s your job to – gently, wisely – to get the specifics in order to help people. You also need to get specific if an authority figure like a politician is speaking. They are all well trained in neuro-linguistics and psycho-linguistics as are their speechwriters and PR people. You can tell when people like politicians, CEO’s, celebrities are lying or dissembling when they are being vague. Honesty is never vague: it is blunt, spontaneous, often brutal like a child. Deception is slow paced – the person is thinking of what to say, how it will be received, choosing words very carefully. If in doubt ask:

‘What do you mean by that specifically?

Remember: specifics are grounded in reality. Vagueness is the airy-fairy language of hypnosis.
Some examples follow…left hand side is vague statement, right is the question asking for detail. Highlights identify where vagueness lurks.

‘I don’t like
that food.’
‘
Which
food?’
– Food type unspecified.

‘I smoke
too
much.’
‘How
many
do you smoke?
’ – Actual quantity unspecified.

‘I
lack
confidence.’
‘When/in what situations do you lack confidence exactly?’
– Triggers for nerves unclear.

You need detail, detail, detail. Especially when doing hypnotherapy; these interview questions will help you narrow down what you must target to effect change during hypnosis.

Words to get specifics…

Clarify, specify/specifically, exactly, precisely.

‘Can you
clarify
x?’

‘What
specifically
happened?’

‘What did she say
exactly
?’

‘
Precisely
what age were you when you first took cocaine?’

Be careful with asking for specifics: some people want their privacy, respect that and DO NOT interrogate! Unless you desire to be friendless.
Try…

Softening openers…

Can I ask…?

May I ask..?

I’m a bit unsure can you explain…?

Oh by the way, clients will often say,

‘I bet you think I’m crazy/weird/abnormal/disgusting?’

or words to that effect. Just reassure them that they are not, their problem is normal and common. They often seek that reassurance.
Problems are normal responses to stress and unmet needs – they are just bad long term responses.
Don’t say,

‘I’ve never heard that before! You are bloody weird!’

I once had a woman tell me that she saw a psychic who told her she had ‘terrible problems’ because she was murderer in a past life. I looked at her paused and said in a funny tone,

‘…O-K…’

This made her laugh and we moved on.

When searching for specifics you are doing it because? Something is left out. You cannot complete the picture without supplying your experience to fill the gaps. In other words – the client/speaker has hypnotised you! How do you know what you imagine they meant is what they meant? You don’t. Again be careful with this – never invasive. Interestingly I heard of a man who got a girl to dump her boyfriend using the NLP Meta Model: the pattern whereby you learn to ask for specifics. Obviously her boyfriend wasn’t so great on close inspection! You are gathering just the right info and no more to help someone. Don’t be nosey! People have a right and need to privacy and vagueness. I once asked a woman if anything but cigarettes helped her relax. She went into trance and clearly imagined having sex with her ex-boyfriend. After having enjoyed this (her facial expression dummy!) she replied –

‘Um…no…’ I knew she was fibbing.

‘That girl is so pretty!’
‘
Which
one?’
- Person unspecified.

‘That took ages to do!’
‘
What
did?’
- Verb – action – unspecified.

‘I saw that film ages ago!’
‘
When
exactly?’
- Time unspecified.

‘He’s a total d*%k!’
‘
Why
is he a d*%k precisely?’
- Reason unspecified.

However never ask clients to justify what they think and feel to you. Again:

when asking for specifics you are looking for what is missing.
Your friends to gather info are:

Who?
- The person is missing.

What?
– The object, animal, action, quality etc. is missing

Why?
– The reasons are missing. (NLP teaches people to never ask ‘why’ questions of clients. This is so stupid as to not even warrant a response; sometimes why is exactly what needs to be asked. Like all ‘rules’ in this field you are better off breaking them. They are like bizarre little doctrines to limit your ability to help others. Just don’t ask things like: ‘And why do you take drugs when they are so bad for you?’ You may privately judge your clients but professionally never! You can still focus on solutions and ask why.)

Which?
– The object, animal, action, quality etc. is missing

When?
– The time/duration is missing.

Where?
– The location is missing.

How?
– The mechanics, the skillset, the strategy is missing.

A question of status.

These are just examples. We all do these things from time to time anyway in normal life.
Remember the person asking questions is usually in a position of a higher social status.
Think of the Queen of England on her rounds,

‘And who are you?’

A policeman asks,

‘Where were you on the night of the 25th?’

A doctor,

‘Where does it hurt exactly?’

You can assume complete control over a brief interaction by asking tons of questions. You are demanding information.
I once did this to an annoying sales person on the phone. Again: don’t expect to make friends that way though, friendship follows a share and ask pattern. You reveal, I reveal. An authority figure asks and reveals nothing usually.
Have you noticed how we feel compelled to answer questions? You don’t have to. There is no rule to say you must. However we are conditioned from early childhood to feel an inner urge to answer. Sales people use this against you.

Some clients do ask me personal questions and I nearly always answer them. It makes them feel more comfortable around you, humanises the situation too. I seek to work equal to equal.

There is always a point in an interview when I work out exactly what I need to do to help a client. Many hypnotists do away with this part. I find it vital. How can you help someone you know nothing about? – It’s all so impersonal. You use the information gathering stage to work out who your client is and how to help them. The unique person in front of you. Hypnosis session must never be generic, although no doubt people with similar problems will require similar interventions. The interview stage is when you get rapport naturally with a client/hypnotee. You get to show your personality to them so that, as one of my clients said, ‘I get a good vibe from you.’ This also produces the expectation that the therapy will work. Expectation is your ally.
Therapy is not fast food.
I’ll go through my standard questions I ask clients in full detail in book 3: ‘Powerful Hypnosis!’

Let’s talk about presuppositions. Again an awareness of presuppositions far predated NLP.
What is a presupposition? Anything that is assumed, anything that is pre-supposed, taken for granted as being so.
Let’s take the innocuous sentence…