Mastering Multiple Position Sex (19 page)

Brava! Bravo!

Toys can help anyone have a better sex life if you know their limits—some cannot be submerged under water, some require special lubricants, and some will get you stopped at airport security—and if you open your mind and orifices to their boundless potential for fun and fantasy.

If you feel that your sexual toy chest seems bare or needs updating, head to your local adult toy store and pick up a few items. Men and women can impress their partners by having a variety—and knowledge—of adult toys. And remember: Your mind can be dirty, but your toys must remain clean.

“Call your local boutique and ask what events they have planned for the upcoming months. There might be a ‘Ladies Night’ or ‘Men’s Night’ or ‘First Timers to the Store’ night. One of my favorite outings is hosting an event called ‘Toys for Boys’ at an upscale toy store.”

7
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Movement
Sight Reading: Non-Traditional Moves That Boost Intimacy

Sex is like a job interview: Some people do best in a group setting, some like doing it over the phone, and most prefer that it be done face-to-face. As the saying goes, “The soul that can speak with its eyes can also kiss with a gaze,” and many expressive couples favor eye-to-eye sexual positions, such as the classic missionary, because they provide intimacy, deep kisses, direct clitoral stimulation, and nipple play. However, countless options, such as the two covered in this chapter—and the bonus Jet Ski—also encourage physical closeness, sexual harmony, and mutual satisfaction.

7
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Movement

POSITION 1

POSITION 2

POSITION 3

BONUS POSITION

This Chapter’s Positions and Their Degrees of Difficulty:

X
XXXX
  
POSITION 1
: Intimacy Blanket

XX
XXX
  
POSITION 2
: Transition

XXX
XX
  
POSITION 3
: The Pious Missionary

XXXX
X
BONUS POSITION
: The Jet Ski

Following eye-to-eye sexplay that appeals to the five senses—in this case, a romantic, well-planned shower—these back-to-chest positions deliver a course of contentment and closeness without the athletics required by some other positions. Another advantage stems from your anatomies: Because his penis will make short, shallow strokes (ideal for delaying his ejaculation), and because her vagina has most of its nerve endings in its outer third (suitable for her orgasms), the physics of these positions increases the duration and pleasure of your love-making by focusing on that outer third.

Finally, as joyful as these positions can be on their own, couples will find that they crave face-to-face, eyes-wide-open sex, which will seem like a new experience after spending several encounters devoted to perfecting the movements in this chapter.

Setting the Stage

Creating a romantic and functional environment for stomach-to-spine intercourse requires two things above all else: comfort and closeness. Comfort begins with your softest, cleanest sheets fitted over a cozy mattress, so please avoid water beds, if possible, or any surface that offers inadequate support. A healthy relationship requires a solid foundation; sex on your knees or stomach does not. The annoying and inevitable “wet spot” inconveniences some couples. For them I recommend layering thick, absorbent towels over the bottom sheet to keep both bed and bodies dry, to prevent any quarrel over who sleeps on the dry side, and to soften the surface even further.

Set the mood with ample, soft lighting. If you’re looking for romance and intimacy, make love where you can see each other. A fireplace, candles, lanterns, and tiki torches offer dancing shadows and light, to remind you that sex is moving energy. If using candles, opt for the unscented variety; the smell of two clean bodies should give off enough sensual aromas for anyone. For fire safety (how many times have we fallen asleep with candles burning, after the sexual flame has died?), find a handful of battery-operated LED simulated candles, and position them throughout the room.

More than a decade ago, as a faculty prom chaperone for the high school where I worked, I observed something shocking: Heterosexual students dancing doggy-style (rear-entry). The lordotic young women chatted with one another, and the aroused young men looked at their watches or gave one another the thumbs-up sign, but they didn’t whisper words of love into their dates’ ears, nor did they check in with their partners via the mirrored ballroom walls. Don’t make their mistake. Bring mirrors back to the bedroom; they’re not just for “no-tell” motels anymore. No matter the sexual position—rear-entry or missionary—you’ll find that placing mirrors around the room will reveal what your direct line of vision cannot, unless you’re fucking a vampire, of course. But where to place those mirrors? Though most of us have a four-sided bedroom, I prefer to think of living in an octagon, and I’ll prop mirrors on chairs in corners, or on a sofa, or at different heights. Our bodies are three-dimensional, so our mirrors should “reflect” that. Whether you are a voyeur or exhibitionist, the mirrors will let you see and be seen.

Warm-Up: Shower Them with Love (and Glances)

Sex and relationships depend on balance, and what a particular sexual act lacks, sexplay and individual touch can make up for. Because the positions in this chapter limit steady eye-to-eye contact, you two will need to share lots of amorous glances prior to sex. So, as sexplay, the couple will get hot and wet in the shower. Like an aperitif, table wine, or digestif in a fine restaurant, bathing can come before, during, and after sex. Shower before sex, because the cascading water stimulates, invigorates, and cleanses, and then bathe afterward, because soaking calms, relaxes, and—yes!—cleans as well.

Sometimes you need to take a quick shower and charge out of the house. That’s not our goal here. Sexual showers, with their aphrodisiacal aromas, warm water, steam, and tender touch, follow five main points that help us cleanse as we prepare to get dirty.

1. Smell

• Shop together to pick out all-natural soaps, shampoos, conditioners, and skin oils that you both enjoy. Awaken your body with essences of rosemary, mint, basil, or citrus. (Just be sure to dilute your oils before using.)

2. Touch

• Toss your towels in the dryer to heat them. This simple act says, “I care.”

• Find a water temperature that suits both of you.

• Wash your partner and pay special attention to the parts you plan to lick and fondle, as well as the parts that you want to discover and explore. Forget the term “foreplay,” which means any act that precedes another; think instead of “foreshadowing,” which carries tantalizing hints of what’s to follow.

3. Clean

• Apply the “good enough” standard to your cleanliness. Let the water and your anticipation work their magic, and you will both look gorgeous fresh from the shower.

• Shampoo her hair. Scrub his back. Massage her shoulders. Hug and kiss under the running water. Use a handheld shower head on yourself and each other (but for her safety, never jet water into her vulva).

• Prep yourselves now for pleasure in bed later. Shave and use a body scrub made from sea salt or sugar—straight from your kitchen to save time and money—for glowing skin you’ll admire in those mirrors. As a sign of trust in your partner, let him or her do some of your grooming.

4. Communicate

• Because most showers have only one nozzle, each of you will have to ask for time under the water, so give and take freely. Sharing in the shower serves as a prelude to an egalitarian exchange in bed.

• Talk not only about what feels good, what tickles, or what is sore or tender, but also about what you want to do with your partner later in bed.

• Make the other person feel attractive by complimenting body parts other than breasts, pecs, penises, and butts. Eyes and smiles are commonly praised, though that doesn’t mean you have to ignore them. Talk about a body part in terms of how it makes you feel: “Your arms make me melt when you hold me” or “I love falling asleep at night to the smell of your hair.”

• Let your voice take over when there’s an interruption in eye contact, for instance when you turn your back to rinse off.

• On her back, trace messages with your finger that she has to guess, or play “I Spy” with body parts. “I spy with my little eye something I’d like to___.” Remind yourself that sex should be playful.

5. Explore

• Investigate your bodies without fault-finding. What do his calves feel like in your hands? Notice how angelic she looks without makeup. Where on his body can you touch that will elicit goose bumps and giggles?

• Take advantage of the freshly cleaned “dirty” parts. If you want to lick or suck something, now is the time to go for it. Whether it’s her toes, his ass, or your underarms, which are all erotic and charged with nerve endings, let the soap and water pass over first, with your mouth soon to follow. Eventually you won’t restrict these hot actions to the bath or shower. On the contrary, crawling dripping wet into bed, your partner will say, “Honey, I just wanted you to know that I washed everything. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.”