Material Girl 3: Secrets & Betrayals (21 page)

            Dylan looked over at her husband. Angel hadn’t left her side for one second just like he’d promised. Each and every day he sat along side her bed making sure she was okay. He looked so peaceful as he slept on a cot. Dylan told him that he could go home and rest but Angel refused. There was no way he was leaving his girl. His dedication to her made her love him all the more.

            She just prayed that they’d be able to survive as she recovered from this unfortunate illness. Dylan grabbed the remote attached to her bed that controlled her bed and television so she could turn the channel when Billie walked in. She hadn’t seen her since she’d woke from her surgery. Dylan was too high off pain meds and the shocking news of all her ailments to really trip off Billie being there that day.

            She didn’t have the time nor the energy for Billie and her drama. But after everything Dylan had gone through she was over being mad. She’d almost died. She didn’t have the energy to be upset with Billie anymore.

As a matter of fact as soon as Dylan saw Billie’s face her eyes began to well up. No matter how much she denied it over the last few months she missed the hell out of her friend. Sure, she’d betrayed her trust in the worst possible way but now none of that mattered. She could’ve died and now that she saw how precious life was Dylan didn’t want to waste anymore time holding onto silly grudges.

“Billie.” Dylan’s chest heaved up and down.

“Aww please don’t cry.” Billie chocked up, rushing over to her friends side.

She’d been dreaming of this moment for months. For a minute there she thought she’d never get her friend back. Dylan had made it crystal clear that she hated her. Billie thought their friendship was over. It crushed her entire heart to see her friend, her sister-in-law so broken and helpless. Dylan didn’t deserve this kind of torture.

“I was so scared to come see you again. I didn’t think you would want to see me.” She held Dylan close.

“I didn’t but when have you ever did anything I’ve told you to do,” Dylan joked, still crying.

“I’m so sorry, Dylan, for everything. I never meant to hurt you.” Billie held her friend tight.

“I know.”

The two friends held each other in silence and let their hearts do all of the talking. Nothing would break them apart. They were friends for life.

“Billie, I’m so scared,” Dylan confessed. “Why is this happening to me? I can’t deal with all of this.”

“Yes, you can. You’re strong Dylan. You’re stronger than you think.”

“No, I’m not,” Dylan cried.

Her tears melted into Billie’s coat.

“I can’t do this. I can not have a freakin’ colostomy bag. So what now, I’m supposed to replace my Chanel bag for a colostomy bag,” Dylan joked.

“Yes, god is trying to teach you something and in due time you will figure it out.”

“I don’t want to figure it out though,” Dylan pouted. “I want my life back.”

That Thanksgiving for Billie had been the best and the worst Thanksgiving she’d ever had. It was the best because she had her friend back. She and Dylan talked for hours while Angel got his much needed rest. Billie caught her up on her custody battle with Cain and Kyrese warming up to State. She conveniently left out the part about her and State rekindling their romance. With all that Dylan had going on she didn’t want to drop that bombshell on her and risk them being on bad terms again.

She was so thrilled to have Dylan back that she wasn’t going to rock the boat. The most important thing to Billie was being there for Dylan and helping her through this rough time. The downside to Thanksgiving was not having her entire family all together for the holiday. Dylan was in the hospital. Angel was there with her and the twins were with Cain.

After being with Dylan all afternoon she made it over to State’s penthouse apartment. Billie loved going over to State’s house. He had a 24 hour doorman, indoor and outdoor basketball court, bowling alley, squash court and more. They spent the most of their time between his place and hers.

“Hey there little troublemaker,” he said, opening the door.

“Hi,” Billie placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

“You got here just in time for Thanksgiving dinner.” State took her coat as she walked in.

“It smells delicious in here. Who cooked ‘cause I know you didn’t?” Billie teased.

“Actually me and the boy did.”

“Yeah mom, while you hating. We spent all day in the kitchen cooking this meal,” Kyrese teased, taking off his apron.

“Uh oh let me find out I got a mini Bobby Flay on my hands.” Billie kissed her son on the cheek.

“You ready to eat?” State asked, setting the table.

“Yes, I am starving. Today has been a long day.”

“How is Dylan doing?”

“She’s not handling this well at all. You know Dylan is all about her looks and her appearance so this happening to her has traumatized her. She is freaking out.”

“Can I go see Auntie Dylan?” Kyrese asked.

“I don’t think she wants you to see her yet.” Billie replied, somberly.

“Aye man,” State tugged on the back of Kyrese’s neck playfully. “Let me holla at your mom real quick.”

“Okay but no kissing. That mess is gross.”

“If you don’t get yo’ butt out of here.” Billie jokingly kicked him in the behind on his way out of the kitchen.

“So Dylan didn’t cuss you out?” State quizzed placing the food onto the table.

“Surprisingly no. As soon as she saw me she just broke down and cried.” Billie took a seat at the table.

“I feel so bad for Dylan. That’s my homegirl. Man I wish there was something I could do to help.”

“Wow.”

“We ended up talking for hours.”

“Did you tell her about us?’ State asked.

“No. It wasn’t the right time and anyway I didn’t know there was an us,” Billie quipped, pursing her lips together.

“What you call it? We spend almost everyday with each other. I stay fucking the shit outta you. We’re raising our son together so I would think we’re an us,” State checked her.

“That’s what your mouth say but let’s not forget that we’ve been here before. I’m not about to fully invest myself in you only for you to break my heart again, no sir.” Billie shook her head.

State came over and stood before her.

“Look at me,” he demanded.

Billie did as she was told and looked up at State.

“How many times do I have to tell you that shit is in the past? I’m not a kid anymore. I’m a grown ass muthafuckin’ man. I lost you once and I’m not trying to lose you again. You’re the one for me. It’s always been you. The reason it didn’t work out for me and Dylan or me and Ashton is because neither of them were you.”

Billie’s heart fluttered like a butterflies wings. For years she and State had been fighting their feelings for one another. Now here he was placing his entire soul in the palm of her hand. As she stared into her eyes she knew his words were true. He wanted her like she wanted him. Only he could send her to the moon. With him she kissed the stars. Like him there was no other for her. He was her one.

“What do I have to do to make you see that, I’m not going no where?” State took her by the hand and pulled her into him.

“Do I have to place my lips upon yo’ thick thigh? I mean, say baby. Can I be yo’ slave? I’ve got to admit, girl. You’re the shit girl and I’m diggin’ you like a grave.” State quoted A Blue’s For Nina (Brotha To The Night) poem from the movie Love Jones.

“You have officially lost your damn mind,” Billie laughed uncontrollably.

“Is that a smile me put on your face chile?” State grinned, wickedly.

Billie looked at him and shook her head.

“Okay that didn’t work so do I have to put a ring on it?”

“No,” Billie continued to laugh. “We are no where close to marriage and besides that I’m still married.”

“Fuck yo’ husband. I ain’t worried about him. I’m the blues in yo’ left thigh, tryin’ to become the funk in yo’ right.” State placed a trail of sensual kisses along the nape of her neck.

State’s lips reminded her of the richest velvet. Everything about him was hypnotizing. He was fine as fuck. His body was ridiculous and he always knew the right words to say at the right moment. The fact still remained that once upon a time she and State had it all. Maybe they could have it all again. Billie just couldn’t risk being toyed with. Many times before he’d claim love to only leave a trail of broken hearts behind him. Billie was too old to be added to that list yet again.

She didn’t have time for an emotional rollercoaster. The memory of him leaving her and treating her like he’d never felt her affection still haunted her each time they embraced. How could she so easily trust that he’d never leave her for dead again?

But then State caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. Together they slow danced to a melody that only existed between the two of them. Billie laid her head on his chest. To be with him was like being kissed by god. She wouldn’t trade the memory they were creating for all of the gold in the world. Then out of nowhere State began to sing.

“They say all good things fade, looking at my past ain’t right,

But I swear you came way, like an angel fell from the sky, no lie,

Loving you the way you are, made a place in my heart for love,

And I could never see us falling apart,

We got that kind of fix it up kind of love,

And girl, I don’t mind giving you nothing,

Cause in the lowest point of my life,

You made a nigga feel like he’s something.”

Only a few people knew that State could sing. It was a part of him that he shared with very few. Dylan didn’t even know he could sing. His voice was like a jazz horn easy and sweet.

“That was beautiful.” Billie caressed the back of his head and gazed lovingly into his eyes.

“I meant every word. I love you Billie. We are a family. I got you. You my baby. I’m here to stay.” He swore.

“Fuck it,” she replied, tired of running.

“I love you too.” She parted her lips and kissed him deeply and passionately.

“Uh hmm,” Kyrese cleared his throat. “Are you two done cup-cakin’? The food is getting cold.”

You’re my end and my beginning.

-John Legend, “All Of Me”

Chapter 21

            Christmas and New Years had passed. It’d been a month and half since Dylan’s surgery. Since she’d been home she’d been on constant bed rest. The only time she left her bed was to brush her teeth, bathe, empty her bag and go to the doctor. Dylan had never seen more doctors in her life. Every other week she was back and forth to a different physician. Before she left the hospital she had to get the drain from her stomach removed.

            The experience was painful and had scared Dylan for life. Having a tube pulled from her stomach was some Sci-Fi movie type bullshit. A week later, half of her staples were removed along with all of the sutures. A week after that the rest of the staples were pulled out. Going to the doctor was a task all in itself. Dylan never knew how much she needed her core until she couldn’t use it anymore.         

            Her stomach was so weak and she was so drained from the surgery that it took her five minutes to get up a flight of stairs and another five minutes to get back down. Dylan hated being so helpless. She could barely walk. She couldn’t bathe herself or fix herself a meal. She had to change her entire eating habits. She couldn’t drink soda as much; eat chocolate, certain shell fish or red meats. Learning how to change her unit was another hard task for her.

            The sight of the portion of her intestine that stuck out of her stomach made her sick. To actually see her go number 2 through her stomach into a plastic bag constantly made her want to throw up. Lord, help her if she developed diarrhea. Diarrhea was a demon within itself. On one occasion while cleaning out her bag Dylan didn’t move fast enough and ended up shitting on her big toe. She screamed and cried for nearly an hour afterwards.

            It sucked that she had to sleep on her back. Everyday she was in constant back pain. It broke her heart even more that she couldn’t hold her baby. Dylan was too afraid that he’d kick her in the stomach on accident. She could only spend time with him from afar. It truly killed her not to be able to hold her son. He was her world.

            Since her surgery it was like he was being raised by Jamie and Angel. Dylan didn’t want another woman playing mommy to her son on a full-time basis. She normally had her son with her at all times. Now everything was different. Dylan was confined to her bed twenty-four hours of the day. She wasn’t able to work. She and Angel weren’t intimate on any level.

            He slept on one side of the bed and she the other. Everyday he had to bathe her and clothe her. He helped Dylan change her units. Outside of playing her home health care provider all they did was talk. When he was off working, Dylan was left alone with only her thoughts. She was worried sick that her marriage was heading towards splitsville. What kind of wife was she when she couldn’t even take care of her household, her baby or other wifely duties?

            It was as if she and Angel were slowly becoming roommates. There was no way he could possible find her attractive. All she wore were pajamas and a scarf on her head. She wasn’t able to please him sexually. They couldn’t go anywhere. Dylan knew that Angel loved her but not enough to put up with all of this crap. In her mind she’d become a charity case. They were only a month and a half into her recovery from the first surgery and still had another one to go. According to the doctors Dylan’s reversal surgery wouldn’t be until that May.

            Dylan didn’t know how they would survive another four and a half months of her being an incompetent wife and mother. Angel was sure to get bored and start to look at her like the pathetic woman she’d become. Dylan hated looking at herself in the mirror. To her she’d become ugly. Her reflection in the mirror was unbearable. The old, beautiful, confident, fly Dylan was dead and gone. The scar that was etched into her stomach reminded her that she was sickly.