Matt Christopher's Baseball Jokes and Riddles (2 page)

Reds first baseman Ted Kluszewski (played 1946–1961) had such muscular arms, he had to cut the sleeves of his uniform to get
into it!

Pitcher Charley Esper, who played with Baltimore in the 1890s, was not known for his breakaway running speed. In fact, his
teammates thought he ran like a lame horse. Ever since, a runner who suffers from a cramp in his leg is said to have a “charley
horse”!

St. Louis Brown Arlie Latham was unofficially known as the father of “chatter”—baseball’s time-honored tradition of nonstop
talk. Called “The Freshest Man on Earth,” Latham was once offered a box of silk socks and underwear if he could remain quiet
for a whole game. He couldn’t.

Long-ball hitter Harmon Killebrew (573 lifetime homers) of the old Washington Senators was a solid ballplayer—but he wasn’t
a very exciting guy off the field. When asked what his hobbies were, he replied, “Well, I like to wash the dishes, I guess.”
He was also known for his good handwriting.

Yankee pitcher Jim Coates, who played in the 1950s, slept with his eyes open, earning him the nickname “Mummy”!

Right Fielder:
I can never find any bats during a day game.

Left Fielder:
Why is that?

Right Fielder:
Because bats come out only at night!

First Baseman:
What’s the count?

Second Baseman:
Some guy from Transylvania!

First Baseman:
What did the pitcher do when the count was one and two?

Second Baseman:
Nothing. He didn’t know him then.

First Baseman:
What did the pitcher do when the count was full?

Second Baseman:
Burp him!

When Orioles pitcher Mike Cuellar and the team arrived in Milwaukee for a series, he informed manager Earl Weaver that he
had forgotten his lucky baseball cap. Even though Cuellar was on a nine-game winning streak, he felt he would lose the next
night without it. In those days there was no overnight delivery—but with the help of the Orioles front office, the airlines,
and a series of hand deliveries, the hat was delivered to Cuellar before game time. Cuellar’s first words upon opening the
box? “They sent my
practice
cap!” (Cuellar lasted only three innings that night!)