Matters of Faith (39 page)
Authors: Kristy Kiernan
“And you want to take that on?” I ask.
He nods, and it's obvious that he's given this plenty of thought. “Yeah. I do. I think he'd be good at it, and I think I'd like to work with him. I think . . . I think I can help him. My way.”
“I saw you in church today.”
He looks startled at my sudden shift, and I feel a little jolt of pleasure knowing that I can still surprise him.
“I looked for you,” he says quietly. “I didn't think you were there.”
“Is that what this is about?” I ask, but I ask gently. “You going to get God and teach your son a trade and save him?”
He shakes his head. “I never lost God, Chloe. I lost religion. Always seemed like two different things to me. I went to church because Kevin said you'd been going with them, and that you seemed . . . good, you know, peaceful. I wanted to see that. I want to see you peaceful. And maybe I want to be peaceful too.”
I don't know what to say, so I nervously sip my wine, trying to get it past the lump in my throat.
“I thought Marshall could come back, live on the boat, and work the business with me.”
“Live on the boat?” I repeat. He could still surprise me too. “What aboutâyou?”
“Well, it's three months away,” he says, as if cautioning me about something. “So, you know, maybe you could start to think about...” He clears his throat, but I don't help him, just watch helplessly as he lays his heart bare in front of me, speaking so rapidly that he is nearly tripping over his words.
“Maybe we could start thinking about us, Chloe. If it's okay with you, what you want too, maybe I could move into Marshall's room. I'd be more help with Meghan, and . . . I miss you, so much, Chloe. I miss everything about you. I miss our marriage, and, I don't know that I miss our life, because it got pretty screwed up there for a while, but Iâ”
“Cal,” I interrupt him, but with a smile, feeling our lives expand in front of us, with plenty of time. “We have three months. You know what?”
He stares at me, and I can tell that he'd had more rehearsed. I didn't need to hear it. I reach over and take his hand in mine.
“It's a beautiful night,” I say. “We've got the next few hours alone. Let's have dinner, and see what happens.”
He looks at me questioningly, and then nods. “Yeah, okay,” he agrees, his voice hoarse.
I take a deep breath of the sweet Gulf air flowing through the screen and rise to take dinner out of the oven. But I am finding it hard to be around him without touching him.
I pause behind his chair and bend to kiss the strip of soft white skin, smelling him for the first time in so long that it is new again. It makes me wonder if we will even get to dinner, or if I will pull it out of the oven and let it grow cold on the counter.
He shivers as I draw away.
“Thanks for fixing the screen door, Cal,” I whisper, and he stands and turns in the same instant, turning his chair over as he reaches for me.
I am ready.
Readers Guide
Suggested Questions for Discussion
1. After meeting Ada, Cal is surprised when Chloe asks whether there's a difference between being in love and thinking you're in love, saying, “Well, yes, there's a difference. Damn, Chloe. That's pretty cynical.” Do you believe there's a difference? And, if so, what distinguishes “thinking” from “being” in love?
2. “[Marshall] was pretty sure there wasn't a thing in the world his father couldn't whip him at. He'd given up the challenge for good by now.” How does Marshall's defeatism inform his spiritual pursuits and his relationship with Ada?
3. When Meghan is first taken to the hospital, Chloe finds herself unconsciously competing with Cal to prove herself the better parent. “It was about Meghan, but on another level it was also about us. Ada and Marshall had not just placed Meghan in danger; they had forced our marital hand.” What does Chloe mean? What do you think would have happened to their marriage if nothing had happened to Meghan?
4. After pressing charges against Marshall and Ada, Dr. Kimball attempts to justify her actions to Chloe, telling her, “You will be able to get on with your lives much faster because of what I did.” Do you agree or disagree? Should the death of Dr. Kimball's son make Chloe more sympathetic toward her?
5. Do you think homeschooling a child with severe allergies is the best way to protect him or her? Why or why not?
6. Grandmother Tobias tells Marshall that he came to her because it was inevitable, saying, “You're here and you didn't even know it, if that doesn't just show you. Some things are in the blood.” Do you think he would have sought her out if he hadn't needed a place to hide out?
7. Do you think it was Chloe's leniency or Cal's uncommunicative-ness that allowed Marshall to commit such a grave act? Or are Chloe and Cal responsible at all?
8. Did Cal do the right thing in hiding the full history behind his estranged family from Chloe and his own children? When would be the appropriate time to share a complicated emotional issue with a child?
9. As an art restorationist, Chloe spends her days repairing the mistakes of the past. How do you feel her work affects her response to mistakes in life that she is unable to correct?
10. After Meghan is hospitalized, Marshall is angry with Ada but forgives her soon afterward. “He could not heal his sister and had been cast from her presence, but he could take care of Ada.” Is Marshall being honest with himself? Is his reconciliation with her a betrayal of Meghan?
11. Chloe does daily battle with her broken screen door, yet she doesn't replace it, even when it trips her so hard that she fractures her wrist. Why do you think she won't fix it?
12. Should Meghan ever forgive Marshall?
13. While it is Marshall's misguided beliefs that allow him to endanger his sister in the first place, it is Chloe's return to the Church that allows her to cope with Meghan's condition. What do you think Kiernan is trying to say about faith? What role do you think it should play in our lives?
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