Maureen McKade (11 page)

Johnny eased back on the reins, and the mare responded instantly. With sparkling eyes, Johnny halted Treasure beside Jake.

He laid a hand on the boy’s leg. “I don’t know what you needed me for. I think you were just pretending you didn’t know how to ride.”

Johnny shook his head, his dark bangs spilling across his forehead, his eyes bright with excitement. “No, I wasn’t. I used to think it’d be hard to ride, but it’s not. It’s fun, funner than chasing squirrels with Toby.”

“Where is that hound, anyhow?” Jake asked, glancing around.

“Ma made me put him in the shed so he wouldn’t scare Treasure. She’s scared that I’ll fall off and get hurt.” He wrinkled his nose. “But I won’t fall off. I ride too good, don’t I, Mr. Cordell?”

Jake spotted Kit walking toward the corral, the wind molding her blouse against her rounded breasts, and he nodded absently. “That’s right, kid.”

“Did you see me, Ma?” Johnny called out.

She slid her hands into her back trouser pockets, causing her chest to jut out more prominently. Jake’s groin responded to her innocently provocative stance.

“I sure did,” Kit said. “Looks like you caught on real fast. What do you think, Jake?”

He swallowed, drawing his reluctant gaze away from her tempting attributes. “Yeah, that’s right, he did real good. In fact, he’s done so well that I think we should all go for a ride.”

Kit’s smile fled. “Even if I didn’t have work to do, I don’t think Johnny’s ready to leave the corral yet.”

“Why not?” Johnny asked.

If he hadn’t been on horseback, Jake figured the boy would’ve stamped his foot for good measure.

“You said yourself he’s doing well,” Jake said.

She flashed a concerned look at her son’s flushed face. “Anything could happen out there, Jake. Are you certain he’s ready?”

Jake nodded grimly. “A lot readier than I was. Go get Cassie, and Johnny and I’ll meet you by the barn.”

“What about my work?”

Jake sauntered over to where Kit stood and leaned over the corral’s top rail. “Sell me the ranch and you won’t have to worry about all that work,” he stated, intentionally keeping his voice pitched low so Johnny wouldn’t hear.

Kit’s lips thinned to a grim slash, and fire leapt into her blue eyes. “I’ll go get Cassie.”

Fuming, Kit saddled her appaloosa. Her father had once said Judge Cordell’s son was as wild as a March hare and twice as stubborn. Kit hadn’t believed it—until now.

She joined Jake and Johnny, and they rode three abreast down the road. With Treasure between Zeus and Cassie, Kit felt a small measure of comfort for her son’s safety. She glanced at Jake and silently cursed him for his apparent lack of concern.

Jake turned and caught her eye, then sent her a wink. “Relax, Kit, and enjoy the beautiful spring day.”

His dangerously charming smile melted her insides. She deliberately shifted her attention to Johnny, who held the reins in his gloved hands like he’d done it for years. Kit consciously untensed her shoulders, determined not to be an overprotective mother hen. Besides, nothing would happen with Jake there.

Jake Cordell sat atop Zeus like he was a part of the stallion, rocking in the saddle as relaxed as a farmer in his favorite chair after a long day’s work. Jake glanced
at his wife riding sidesaddle beside him, her maroon velvet split skirt and jacket the height of fashion. Blond strands that had escaped the confines of her hat curled about her smooth peaches-and-cream face. She turned to him, casting him a knowing half-smile
.

She alone knew the great sacrifice he’d made in settling down and leaving the exciting life of a bounty hunter behind. He’d turned in his guns for this woman, and he’d gladly do it again. She and their son were the center of his life now
.

He clasped her hand, and they both gazed at the boy their love had created
.

Kit breathed in the uncommonly warm spring air, redolent of damp soil and wildflowers. A gentle breeze brought the faint scent of Jake’s bay rum wafting past her, triggering the memory of his kiss and the slumbering feelings he’d awakened within her. It was like the time her father had taken her to the mercantile to buy an Easter dress. She’d fallen in love with a yellow and pink one with flounces and bows, but her father had disapproved of it. He had said that the dress was made for little girls, not big girls like her. She’d secretly pined for that dress every time she’d gone into the store, until one day it was gone. Fifteen years later, Kit still thought about that dress.

Fifteen years from now, would she be wondering what it would’ve been like to have had more than a kiss from Jake?

Kit spotted a brown blur out of the corner of her eye. A moment later, Toby’s bark broke the peaceful silence. Cassie danced around, tossing her head, and her muscles flexed and quivered beneath Kit’s legs.

“Whoa, easy, girl,” she spoke in a low, soothing voice.

Toby raced around them excitedly, spooking the horses. Kit noticed Jake had tightened his hold on Zeus’s
reins, but he was struggling to keep the animal in check.

“Whoa, Treasure, whoa,” Johnny said, a frantic note in his voice.

Using one hand to keep Cassie under control, Kit reached for Treasure’s reins with the other. But the usually gentle mare bolted away at a full gallop, and Kit’s fingers closed around air.

Without thought, she spurred Cassie after the frightened runaway. Branches whipped at her and tugged at her shirt sleeves. She barely registered the stinging pain when a twig slashed her cheek. Through tearing eyes, she saw that Johnny was still atop Treasure. She urged Cassie faster, and the powerful mare closed the distance.

Startled, she saw Jake and Zeus move up beside her, then overtake her. The black stallion caught up to Johnny quickly, and Jake leaned out of his saddle to grab Treasure’s reins. He began to slow both horses. Without warning, Treasure stumbled, and Johnny flew over her neck to land on the ground ten feet in front of her.

“Johnny!” Kit screamed.

Jake managed to get Zeus and Treasure under control and Kit jerked Cassie to a halt, springing from the saddle before the mare had stopped completely.

Her limbs trembling like an aspen, Kit fell to her knees beside Johnny’s still body. His pale face was a stark contrast to his usual ruddy complexion. She reached down to turn him onto his back, and Jake grabbed her wrist.

“Don’t move him,” he said curtly. “He might have a broken bone.”

Kit nodded numbly and laid her clenched hands on her thighs. She watched in silent horror as Jake threw off his hat and lay his ear against Johnny’s back.

“He’s breathing good,” Jake announced.

Toby lay on the ground a couple of feet away, his
front paws crossed and his tongue lolling. After escaping the shed, he must’ve followed their scent.

Jake checked the boy’s legs and arms, and breathed a sigh of relief. “Nothing’s broken. I’m going to turn him over slowly.”

Kit reached out to help him, and the warmth of Johnny’s body through his heavy shirt reassured her. As they rolled him onto his back, Johnny’s eyes fluttered open and he dragged in a ragged gulp of air.

Jake raised him to a sitting position. “I think he just had the wind knocked out of him.” He wiped perspiration from his forehead. “He’ll be all right.”

“Ma,” Johnny said hoarsely. Color filtered into his pallor, and tears trailed down his red-splotched cheeks.

Kit gathered him in her arms and rocked him back and forth. She savored the familiar scent of his downy soft hair and his welcome weight in her embrace. “You’re going to be fine, sweetheart. Everything’s all right now.”

Her quaking abated, and she glared at Jake over Johnny’s head. “He could’ve been killed!”

“But he wasn’t,” Jake said.

“No thanks to you,” she snapped. “If you hadn’t insisted on taking him out for a ride, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“You can’t protect him forever, Kit.” Jake stood and stared down at her.

“He’s only a little boy!”

“And someday you’re going to wake up and find he’s a man. Then what?”

Kit stroked Johnny’s hair. “He’s all I have. If something happened to him…” She gulped back the sobs that tore at her throat.

Jake hunkered down beside her. “When I was a boy, I used to wish I had a mother who cared for me as much as you care for Johnny.” He raised her chin with his
crooked finger, and said softly, “Sometimes loving someone means you have to let them go.”

Kit thought of Maggie, and how she’d been able to release Jake despite her love for him. Maggie was a stronger woman than Kit could ever hope to be.

“We should get back to the ranch,” Kit said, her voice hollow.

Jake helped Kit and Johnny to their feet.

“Johnny can ride with me on Zeus,” Jake volunteered.

Kit didn’t want to release her son, but something in Jake’s voice caught her attention. She studied him, noting the worry etched in his brow, and regret pierced her. He’d been afraid, too, when Johnny had been thrown, but she’d been oblivious to anything except her own fears.

“All right,” she agreed.

Jake picked Johnny up, and the boy threw his arms around Jake’s neck.

“I’m going to lift you onto Zeus so you can ride with me. That okay with you, kid?” Jake asked.

“What about Treasure?”

“I’ll lead him back,” Kit assured.

“Did she get hurt?”

“No. She’s fine.”

“Good. I want to ride her again.”

“But not now,” Jake said firmly. “Next time I’ll teach you how to stop a runaway horse.” He gazed at Kit.

All her instincts screamed that there wouldn’t be a next time, but Jake was right: she couldn’t protect Johnny forever, and her little boy would grow up. What kind of man would he become? What kind of role model could she be for a boy? For the first time, Kit questioned her ability to raise Johnny on her own. Maybe a boy did need his father.

Jake deposited Johnny on Zeus’s back, then stuck his boot toe in the stirrup and settled in the saddle. When Johnny was safely ensconced between Jake’s arms, Kit mounted Cassie and secured Treasure’s reins to the saddlehorn.

She urged Cassie beside Zeus, and they rode back to the ranch with a subdued Toby following behind.

“Don’t be mad, Ma,” Johnny said. “It wasn’t Mr. Cordell’s fault that I fell off Treasure.”

Kit mustered a weak smile. “I’m not mad. I was afraid that you’d been hurt.”

“I don’t hurt, except for maybe my butt,” Johnny admitted.

“That’s normal, kid. Even as much as I’ve ridden Zeus here, my butt gets sore sometimes, too.”

Johnny giggled, and Kit couldn’t help but smile.

They rode in silence for a few minutes.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Cordell,” Johnny said softly.

Jake frowned. “For what?”

“For not learning better.”

“Don’t go blaming yourself, Johnny,” Jake said, his voice rough. “Sometimes things just happen and it isn’t anybody’s fault.”

Johnny gazed up at Jake. “Then why are you blaming you?”

Startled, Kit looked at Jake. He tugged at his hat brim and smoothed the leather reins.

“Who says I’m blaming myself?” Jake asked, not meeting Johnny’s eyes.

“Me,” Johnny replied. “I can tell.”

A smile tipped up the corners of Jake’s lips. “You can, huh?”

“Uh-huh. You got this funny look on your face, and you’re being real quiet.”

“Anyone ever tell you that you and your ma are a lot alike?”

“No.”

“Well, you are.”

He was also a lot like his father, Kit thought with more than a shred of guilt.

Entering the yard, Kit led them to the barn and they dismounted. Johnny walked toward the door.

“Hey, Johnny, what’s the rule about taking care of your horse?” Jake called out.

“Take care of him before you eat or sleep,” Johnny replied.

“That’s right.”

Kit bristled. “After what happened to him, don’t you think you can make an exception?”

Jake shook his head firmly, and said in a low voice Johnny couldn’t hear, “He’s got to learn that rules can’t be arbitrarily broken.”

She stared at Jake, hearing Judge Cordell’s no-nonsense tone in his son’s voice.

Jake moved away to help Johnny unsaddle Treasure, and Kit mechanically went through the same motions with Cassie. Kit had always believed she could do as good a job alone raising Johnny as a mother and father together. She thought that her love could make everything right, but maybe there was more to being a parent.

She hung the saddle blanket she’d used to rub down Cassie over the stall door. Looking into Treasure’s stall, she saw Jake examining the mare’s legs. Johnny leaned close to Jake, their heads nearly touching.

A suffocating weight settled on her chest. They’d taken to one another as if an invisible thread had drawn them together. Who gave her the right to deny them the truth?

“She looks fine,” Jake announced, straightening.

Johnny nodded. “I’m glad she wasn’t hurt.”

“And I’m glad
you
weren’t hurt,” Jake said, ruffling the boy’s hair.

Jake opened the gate and they joined Kit. Silently the trio left the barn.

Kit wrapped her arms around her waist. “Do you have plans for Easter dinner, Jake?”

“When’s Easter?” Jake asked.

“Sunday,” Johnny answered. “Don’t you know that?”

Jake smiled down at the boy. “I haven’t been to church in a while. I’m not even sure if God remembers what I look like.”

“Ma says that He knows everyone, and it don’t matter what they look like.”

“Maybe so, but after all the things I’ve done, if I set foot inside a church, I’d probably get struck by lightning.”

Johnny frowned, puzzled. “You’re a hero. God would like you.”

“Besides, it’s too early in the year for thunderstorms,” Kit added mischievously. She sobered. “Maybe it’s time you and He got reacquainted.”

“I’ll have to think on that,” Jake replied. He mounted Zeus with an easy, fluid motion. “The dinner part sounds good, though.”

“Then we’ll see you in a couple days,” Kit said.

“Count on it.” He glanced down at Johnny. “Now, you don’t be taking Treasure out on your own, or bother your ma to take you out. I’ll take you for a ride next time I come by.”