Maureen McKade (16 page)

“I have. Nobody’s ready to buy yet.” She took a deep shuddering breath. “After all the sweat that’s gone into this place, I can’t lose it now. It’s all I have to give Johnny.”

“You got a lot more to give to that boy than a piece of land. But I know how much this place means to you, and I ain’t gonna let anyone take it away from you.”

Kit squeezed Charlie’s hand. “Thanks, but we might not have any choice. Hopefully things will work out.”

“They always do,” he reassured. “ ’Night, Kit.”

“Good night, Charlie.”

Closing the door behind him, Kit returned to the front room. “Have you fed the animals, Johnny?”

He shook his head, and pushed himself to his feet. “They’re probably hungry.”

“What animals?” Jake asked curiously.

“Orphaned and injured ones,” Kit replied. “It’s Johnny’s job to make sure they’re fed and watered every day. I check those that have been hurt and make sure they’re healing all right.”

“You wanna help me, Mr. Cordell?” Johnny asked.

“I’d be glad to give you a hand.” Jake glanced at Kit. “Just like I used to help your ma. Back when she was just a few years older than you, I used to help her feed her animals, too. Remember, Kit?”

She nodded and said teasingly, “I seem to recall you bothering me when I was trying to take care of them.”

Mock indignation appeared on Jake’s face, and he turned to Johnny. “I’ll have you know your mother used to put me to work filling the water dishes and cleaning out the cages. I even helped her set a few bones.”

“Did he really, Ma?” Johnny asked.

Kit smiled. “Yes, he did, sweetheart—and
he
never complained.”

Jake winked at Johnny. “At least, not where your ma could hear. How many animals do you have?”

Johnny began to count them off on his fingers. “There’s Salty and Pepper—my two cats—two rabbits, a squirrel, a possum, and Jasper.” He glanced at his hands. “That makes seven all together.”

“Who’s Jasper?”

“A raccoon,” Kit supplied. “His leg was caught in a trap.”

After Johnny and Jake had left the house, Kit tied an apron about her waist and washed and dried the dishes. The afternoon waned, and Kit went to check on Jake
and her son. She entered the barn, closing the door behind her.

As she waited for her eyes to adjust to the relative dimness, she heard Johnny’s childish giggles and Jake’s deeper chuckles. Before Jake had returned to Chaney, Kit had not allowed herself to imagine father and son together. Now it was all she could think about. It amazed her how quickly Jake had taken to Johnny, since the man had had little contact with children in his line of work.

Jake Cordell faced the biggest challenge of his career. Upon arriving in town, he’d had a feeling, a sixth sense, that something would happen, something he wouldn’t like, something he’d never imagined could happen
.

He checked his rugged face in the beveled mirror one last time, then slapped his Stetson on his recently trimmed hair. Adjusting the holster on his hip, he hoped he wouldn’t have to use his Colt. Its weight gave him a sense of security, and he strode out of his hotel room down to the street below. His spurs jingled with each confident step, reminding him he was the fearless bounty hunter who never flinched from danger
.

Reaching his destination, he paused, his courage floundering for a moment. Then, valiantly, he squared his broad shoulders, entered the schoolhouse, and came face to face with twenty bright-eyed, awe-filled children
.

Kit moved deeper into the barn. Spying Jake sitting on an overturned bucket, Kit stopped. Salty was leaping up to try to snag Jake’s too-short trousers to climb his leg, while Pepper had planted himself on Jake’s wide shoulder.

Coming to his rescue, Kit tugged Salty off his leg and cuddled the small animal close to her chest.

“Looks like you’ve got your hands full,” she said mischievously.

Jake grimaced as Pepper bumped its tiny head against his chin. “I think they know I don’t like cats.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised. They seem to have a sixth sense about things like that. Besides, in their own way, they’re trying to convince you they’re not so bad.”

Johnny lifted Pepper from Jake’s shoulder. Salty purred in Kit’s hands, his eyes closing, and Kit lowered herself to the hay-covered floor beside Jake.

“Why do you still collect them?” Jake asked curiously. “I would think you’d have more than enough to keep you busy.”

“They needed help.”

Jake thought for a moment. “Nobody helped you when you were a child, did they?”

Kit blinked, startled by his observation. “
You
helped me.”

“I didn’t do that much, just made sure you were okay and gave you a hand with your pets once in a while,” Jake replied.

“That was more than anybody else did.” She buried her face in the kitten’s fuzzy coat to hide the moisture in her eyes.

Jake laid his hand on Kit’s bowed back. “If it’s any consolation, I kept an eye out for you after those boys tripped you that day.”

She raised her head slowly and nodded. “I know.” She frowned quizzically. “I was only a chubby little girl with crooked glasses. Why would the handsomest boy in town help me?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I saw some of me in you.”

Kit laid her palm on the kitten’s warm body, and his loud purrs vibrated against her hand. “I had a crush on you.”

He appeared surprised, then chagrined. “I never knew.”

“You weren’t supposed to. I would’ve been mortified.” She attempted a rueful smile. “Besides, Jake Cordell
and Kit Thornton had nothing in common.”

Jake cupped her cheek, studying her with sympathetic eyes. “Yes, they did.”

Kit’s skin tingled beneath his caress. “What?”

“We were both lonely.”

Chapter 11

K
it’s crystal-clear gaze glimmered with disbelief, then acceptance of his words. Jake wondered if she realized how telling her eyes were.

“I never thought of you as lonely,” she said. “Everyone liked you, and you were always smiling.”

“You can get away with a lot more if you smile.” He didn’t tell her a smile could also hide a world of hurt; he suspected she already knew.

“Why did you go to college?”

Jake thought a moment. He remembered the endless arguments, the angry words he’d exchanged with his father. “Because Judge Cordell ordered me to.”

“He was your father, Jake. He only wanted what he thought was best for you.” She studied him with a probing, unsettling gaze. “Besides, if you truly didn’t want to go to college, you wouldn’t have.”

Taken aback by her matter-of-fact comment, Jake kept his face impassive as he shrugged. “Hell, maybe I thought he’d finally notice me.” A harsh laugh escaped him. “He was killed right after I graduated, before I could find out.”

She curled her long slender fingers around his forearm. “You always had his respect and love, Jake.”

The conviction in her tone unbalanced him. “If that’s true, why didn’t he tell me?”

“He wasn’t a man prone to flowery words. He probably thought you knew how he felt.”

Knowing he shouldn’t, but unable to stop himself, Jake covered her hand with his. “I knew what he thought of me, all right.”

The lantern’s subdued arc softened her features, blunting her wire-rimmed spectacles. Her concern, like a candle’s glow, swirled around him, encompassing him. He thought of his nightmares, filled with violence, and shuddered. “You don’t know what kind of man I am, the things I’ve seen and done—things you can’t even imagine.”

She shook her head. “I know more than you think. When you’re on the outside looking in, you watch everything, all the time wondering what made you so different from everybody else. And you learn a lot about people.”

Sadness reflected in her eyes as she gazed at him, her deceptively delicate chin tilted upward as if daring him to shut her out, too. Strong yet fragile, bold yet tentative, a mother yet an innocent. Kit Thornton was a bundle of contradictions that both intrigued and irritated Jake.

Unlike other women, she refused to take him at face value, and the chance that she’d find the man beneath the facade disturbed him. The real Jake Cordell was no legend, no herald of justice, and definitely no gentleman.

“Do you know why it took me six years to hunt down my father’s murderer?” Jake asked.

Kit shook her head.

“Because I was afraid I’d fail. My father would’ve tracked him down in a month or two. I took six years. The whole time I could feel my father standing over me, judging me.”

“But what about all the other outlaws you brought in?”

“Whenever I lost Ross’s trail, I would concentrate on a different bounty. Then I’d hear my father’s voice, telling me I’d never amount to anything, and I’d get back to looking for Ross.”

The white kitten in Kit’s lap climbed up to perch on her shoulder. Jake reached forward to lift it down, but she stilled his motion with a shake of her head. “Maybe it wasn’t your father’s voice, but your own,” she said softly. She gazed up at him, a few pieces of straw scattered across her lap and in her flaxen hair. “Why do you really want the ranch, Jake?”

“I told you—to raise horses,” he replied irritably.

She shook her head. “If that were the reason, you could buy another place and do the same thing. Your father’s gone, Jake. You don’t have to prove anything to him; it’s only yourself you have to prove something to.”

Unwilling to examine her words too closely, Jake said, “You don’t understand.” He glanced over at Johnny, who dangled a string in front of a playful Pepper, then looked back at Kit. “Who was Johnny’s father?” he asked in a low voice.

Defensiveness sprang to her features. “Why do you want to know?”

He shrugged. “Curiosity, mainly. You don’t seem the type to put the horse before the carriage.”

Her wariness eased, replaced by a twinkling of humor. “Or to give the milk without selling the cow?”

Jake felt unaccountably embarrassed. “Something like that.”

She stared at her son, who sat on the straw-littered floor out of earshot. Affection glowed in her face as she turned back to Jake. “I adopted him.”

The unexpected answer shocked Jake. By the love that
she showered on the boy, Jake hadn’t even considered they might not be blood kin.

“What happened?” Jake managed to ask.

“His mother died shortly after he was born. There was no other family, so I took him in.” She paused, absently petting the mewling kitten curled around the back of her neck. “Johnny doesn’t know. Someday when he’s old enough to understand, I’ll tell him.”

“So he’s just another stray?”

She stabbed him with a piercing look. “Even though I didn’t bring him into this world, Johnny
is
my son.”

He held up his hands, palms out in surrender. “Sorry. Anyone ever tell you you’re too soft-hearted, Kit?”

Anger changed her eyes to a stormy gray. “You make caring for someone sound like a curse.”

“No, not a curse, more like a millstone around your neck.”

Her defensiveness slid away. “Loving someone isn’t a burden, it’s a blessing.”

Jake wanted to believe her, but he knew from experience she was wrong. “Tell my mother that.”

“At least you had your father.”

“The
town
had my father.”

She pursed her lips like a tart-tongued spinster.

“I’m not like you, Kit,” Jake said. “I can’t forgive and forget.”

“I’m not asking you to. That’s something you’ll have to decide to do for yourself,” she said softly.

How could a woman her age be so naive? Didn’t she realize there were some things a person couldn’t forget? Or forgive? He thought of the loan papers hidden in his room at Freda’s. She wouldn’t be so understanding when he took her beloved ranch; she wouldn’t be able to forgive and forget.

Jake smothered the unwanted guilt. “Didn’t you know? I’m a selfish bastard.”

She laughed. “You don’t have to try and convince me. I already know what you are.”

So she already thought he was a bastard? Hadn’t he wanted her to see him without the damned blinders? However, it didn’t mollify Jake like it should’ve, and sarcasm oozed from his tone. “Thanks.”

“What I meant was, I know you’re
not
that kind of person, so there’s no reason to berate yourself.”

“How about when I was drunk? I was a bastard then.”

She nodded thoughtfully. “That’s true enough. And don’t forget—when you met Freda the first time, you weren’t a gentleman then, either.”

Bewildered, Jake raked his fingers through his hair. “It sure didn’t take much to convince you.”

She leaned forward. “Look, Jake, you’re not the same man who rode into Chaney a month ago. I think you might finally be figuring out you’re not as bad as you thought you were.”

“Damn it, Kit, do you always have to see the best in people?”

“Yes.”

Her direct answer and unflinching gaze melted a corner of Jake’s heart. She laid a hand on his knee, and her touch sent a jolt of heated pleasure up his leg to settle in his groin.

“Johnny, come get Salty and put him in with Pepper,” Kit said.

Johnny deposited the protesting kitten in the cage and played with the animals through the chicken wire.

Jake stood and held out his hand to Kit. Tentatively, she reached out, placing her cool fingers in his palm, and he grasped them snugly to pull her to her feet.

“You’d better be careful, Jake; someone might think you
are
a gentleman,” Kit teased.

He studied her flushed expression, the sparkling blue
eyes behind her spectacles. She trusted him. He could see it in her candid expression. Unexpected resentment welled within him. “You don’t know me any better than T. K. Thorne.”

She drew out of his grasp and met his gaze evenly. “Because I see the good in you?”

“Because you won’t see me for who I really am,” he refuted. “T. K. Thorne built the reputation of Jake Cordell. It’s his fault I keep looking over my shoulder, and it’s his fault people think I’m a damned hero.”

Kit’s face drained of color. “I’m sure he never meant to hurt you, Jake. He wrote them as a tribute to you, to show everyone your bravery as you fought to bring justice to the lawless frontier.”

“How would you know why he wrote them?” He shook his head. “He did it for the same reason people rob banks: to get rich at the expense of another person.”

“That’s not true. He did it because he admired you.”

Jake grabbed her upper arms. “Damn it, Kit, open your eyes.” He glanced down at her full lips. “I’ll show you I’m not like that make-believe hero.”

He drew her willowy body against his. Her full, rounded breasts flattened against his chest and brought a flare of arousal. His gaze fastened on her rosy lips, sending his blood on a reckless journey through his veins. He had to teach her she couldn’t trust him.

“Are you going to kiss my ma?”

Johnny’s innocent question doused him like a bucket of cold water, and Jake released Kit. She stepped back, her bosom rising and falling with her ragged breaths.

“No, he isn’t,” Kit replied, her voice husky. “We’re going to the house to have some supper.”

Her spine as stiff as a pitchfork handle, she turned, leading the way out of the barn. Jake grabbed the lantern and followed, Johnny walking beside him. His appreciative gaze followed Kit’s backside as it moved enticingly
beneath the layers of skirts and petticoats, and his arousal grew painful. He swore to himself and mentally reviewed torts and writs and habeas corpus to distract his lecherous thoughts.

“You want to play with me?” Johnny asked.

“Sure.” Anything would be better than keeping images of Kit at bay with a mental law exam.

Jake took the boy’s outstretched hand and allowed himself to be tugged along to the house. He blew out the lantern and left it on the porch, then followed Johnny inside. The boy disappeared into the front room.

Jake noticed Kit’s flushed cheeks. “Are you warm?” he asked too innocently.

Kit lay her palm against the side of her face. “It must’ve been the walk from the barn.”

Jake moved closer to her. “Or maybe you’re disappointed we got interrupted.”

She blinked. “Of course not.”

He smiled rakishly, using the persuasive skills he’d perfected with countless women. “I think you’re lying.”

“I thought we were friends.”

“We are, but not as close as we could be.” Jake played his game well.

Her pupils dilated, and she moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue. “Don’t do this, Jake.”

He leaned closer until he could feel her moist breath on his neck. “I haven’t done anything. Yet.”

She took a step back, her whole body poised to bolt like a frightened doe. “I have to get supper on. Are you hungry?”

Jake placed his palms against the wall on either side of Kit, effectively trapping her between his arms. “Ravenous.”

“Then let me go to the kitchen.”

She ducked under his arm, but he caught her around the waist, the underside of her breasts resting on his
forearm. With her back against his chest, he could smell her fresh-scented hair as it tickled his nose. “Who said anything about food?”

She trembled like a frightened bird, and the image brought a pang of conscience. He thrust the emotion aside, instead giving in to the passion that flowed and ebbed within him. With his free hand he swept her hair aside and nibbled her velvet-soft earlobe. Moving downward, he tasted the sweet saltiness of her skin. He felt more than heard her throaty moan, and the sound unleashed an answering need within himself.

As her stiff body relaxed, her curved bottom pressed against his rigid desire. He closed his eyes, giving in to the tortuous pleasure she unwittingly gave him.

“Jake …” Kit’s voice made him drag his lids open.

“Yes?”

“We can’t…”

Her pulse throbbed in her slender neck, and he skimmed his lips across the satiny skin. Trailing kisses along her jaw, he turned her in his arms until they faced one another. The scent of cinnamon invaded his senses, and he smiled slightly. He’d never lain with a woman who didn’t smell like cheap liquor or cheaper perfume—usually both.

“Johnny—”

“What about him?” He buried his fingers in her golden hair, trapping the silky strands in his palms. Leaning forward, he lightly pressed his lips to a corner of her mouth, and moved downward to the top of her starched collar.

She gasped, her hands moving to his back, touching, sweeping across his shirt. Her movements were at first tentative, then bolder as she became an active participant in the game he’d instigated.

Lust coursed through his body, erasing all reason, all thought of teaching her a lesson. He wanted her lying
below him, crying out his name as he pleasured her body.

“Johnny might see us.”

Her husky words made it past the thunder that filled his ears. Reluctantly he drew back, his body aching with frustrated need. If the boy hadn’t been there, he wasn’t sure if he would’ve been able to halt his lesson before he went too far. “One of these days, it’ll just be you and me.”

Her face crimson, Kit said, “I don’t think that would be wise.”

Studying the alarm in her wide eyes, he asked, “Did I scare you?”

She shook her head. “No.”

There wasn’t even a hint of hesitancy in her tone. He’d failed to show her the real Jake Cordell. With an impatient hand, he rubbed his whiskered jaw. “I want you, Kit, but I can’t promise you anything, because I’ve got nothing to give.”

She reached out and laid her hand on his arm. “Love isn’t something you choose to give or keep, Jake. It either is or it isn’t.”

He frowned. “You sound like you speak from experience.”

After a moment, she nodded thoughtfully. “Maybe I do.”

Unexpected jealousy snared him abruptly and painfully. The alien emotion stymied him. Why should he care if she’d loved someone else?

“Johnny’s waiting for you in the front room,” Kit said. “I’ll call you when I have supper ready.”