Maxed Out (6 page)

Duncan lets go of me, looks me right in the eyes and then hugs me again.

“What happened?” I ask.

Mr. Cooper stands up and starts explaining, but he is interrupted by a fireman calling up the stairs.

“Mr. Cooper? Are you planning on staying here until Mrs. O'Neil gets home?” the fireman asks.

“Yes, I'll be here,” Mr. Cooper says.

“Okay, then, we're going to head out. Please have Mrs. O'Neil call the station.”

“Thanks for your help,” Mr. Cooper says.

I sit at the top of the stairs and lean against the railing. “What am I going to tell Mom? She's going to kill me.”

“Let's just take it one minute at a time,” Mr. Cooper says as he heads down the stairs. “I reckon the most important thing is that you're both all right.”

I go check on Duncan. It looks like he's acting out a movie, although I don't recognize it. I lean against the door frame watching him pace around his room, shaking his hands rapidly and talking to himself.

“I'm hungry, Mouse. Where's Mary Jane? I want my macaroni and cheese. Mouse? Are you hungry too?” He pauses. “Mouse, I don't think Mary Jane is coming. Duncan has to think…Think. Think. Think. Just like Max does, just like Max. Oh no! Oh no!”

I can't take it any longer. I gently touch his shoulder. “Duncan, it's okay. Shhhhh, it's okay, buddy.”

I pull him close. “You're safe. I'm sorry, Duncan. I'm really sorry.”

“Max?” Ian whispers from the doorway.

“Be there in a second,” I say.

I sit Duncan down on his bed and put his Spider-Man movie on. “I've got to go downstairs. I'll be back. I promise.”

“I'll be back…I'll be back…” he repeats over and over.

“Is he going to be okay?” Ian asks as we head downstairs.

“I hope so.”

I want to run away.

Lilly is buttoning up her coat by the front door. When she sees me, she starts crying again. “I'm so sorry, Max. When we got home, Duncan went straight upstairs to watch movies. I tried to hang out with him, but he didn't want me to.” She sniffs. “He told me to go to the basement to watch tv. I wasn't downstairs for very long, I swear. And then I hear d him yelling. When I came upstairs, the stove was on fire…”

I can't speak. My eyes well up as I glance around the room. Everything in the kitchen is covered in a film of black soot. The cupboards above the stove are half burnt. White foam drips over the stove and onto the floor. The smell of smoke is stronger here, burning my eyes.

Mom—where are you?

Chapter Fourteen

“Oh my god!” Mom yells.

My body stiffens at the sound of her voice.

I automatically drop the cloth I'd been using to wipe down the walls. It lands in the bucket with a splash. Black soapy water splashes onto my pants.

“Oh no!” Mom drops the bags of Chinese food she was carrying when she enters the kitchen.

I can't move. My feet are stuck to the floor.

“Everyone's okay, Annie,” Mr. Cooper steps in. “The boys had a little situation earlier.”

“
What
happened?”

Before I can begin to explain, Duncan walks into the kitchen.

“I can't cook,” he blurts out.

“You were cooking?”

“I don't like Mary Jane anymore,” Duncan grumbles.

“Will someone tell me what's going on?”

I feel my cheeks burn up. “You never met us at school…” I say. “You promised.”

“Joanne called in sick. I couldn't leave. Max, I left a message with one of the secretaries.”

“I never got it,” I say, looking at my feet.

“Well, I left one with…oh, what was her name?” She's getting worked up trying to remember it. Maybe she thinks I don't believe her.

“I think it was Lola. Yes! It was Lola!” She's talking really quickly now. “I brought supper home because I felt badly. I tried, Max…” Her voice cracks. “I really tried to get home. This is all my fault,” she says. “I should have been here.”

“Why don't we go talk somewhere private,” Mr. Cooper suggests. He leads her into the living room.

“I guess she doesn't like the smell,” Duncan says.

“Shhhh!” I stand in the hallway, where I can hear them.

“I'm having such a hard time on my own,” she sobs. “I know Max has too many responsibilities, but I don't know what to do.” She sniffs. “Dan would handle things so much better than me—”

“Now, Annie, don't sell yourself short,” Mr. Cooper says. “Sometimes it's a matter of looking at things from a different angle.” He pauses. “When my wife died, it took awhile for me to get my step back.” He clears his throat. “But, Annie,” he says gently, “your boys need you. I reckon asking for help isn't such a bad thing. ”

I can't stand listening anymore. I head to my room.

“Max? Are you still awake?” Mom whispers from the doorway later that night. I don't answer. She comes in and sits on my bed. I keep perfectly still. “I'm so sorry, Max…” She sounds tired. I can tell she's been crying. “I know I need”—she takes a deep breath— “some help. And I'm going to get it. Somehow.” She sniffs. “I promise.”

I hold my breath until she leaves. I'm wide awake now. My brain is whirling.

This is all my fault. I have to make things right, but how?

And then it hits me. I know what to do.

I slip downstairs once I hear her in the tub. I open the fridge and search for the cheese-slice package, but it's not there.

Then I remember throwing the wrapper out after making Duncan's sandwich. I root through the garbage and find it. I stare at the Kids Help Phone ad before taking it with me upstairs. My mind whirls as I pace around my room.

What do I say?

I rehearse a few lines in my head, but nothing sounds right. I crawl into bed with my phone and pull the covers over my head. Sometimes I think better in the dark. I lie there for a few minutes before I reach under my bed for my flashlight. After pulling out some socks and hockey magazines, I find it.

I yank the blankets back over my head and shine the light on the number and dial. On the third ring, someone answers, “Kids Help Phone. How can I help you?”

I freeze.

“Hello? Anyone there?” the friendly voice asks. “It's okay if you're nervous. Take your time.”

Panicked, I hang up.

I sit under the covers staring at the phone.

This is crazy.

I don't know what to tell them. They never show you that on their tv ads. I fiddle with the wrapper, thinking. Then I hear someone in the hallway. I turn off my flashlight and lay under the covers like I'm asleep.

In the middle of the night, I bolt awake. In my dream I had left Duncan alone, and he died. I tiptoe into his room. He's under the covers, snoring loudly. I peek into Mom's room. She's sound asleep too.

Relieved, I crawl back into bed. I'm now wide awake for the second time. The cheese wrapper crinkles in my bed. I decide I'm going to call. Taking a deep breath, I dial the number.

A friendly voice answers after the first ring.

“Kids Help Phone, Norene speaking. How can I help you?”

I bite my lip.

“Hello?”

“I'm here,” I answer quietly.

“I thought I heard someone thinking on the other end of the line. What's up?”

Before I realize it, everything pours out of me. I tell her about the fire, Dad, Mom, Duncan.

Everything
.

I even tell her about Cody. When I'm done, I feel a big weight lift off my shoulders.

“You've had quite a time, Max. I'm glad you called.”

I sit up in my bed, hugging my knees as we talk. Everything she says makes sense—even the bit about Cody and how his meanness isn't about me or Duncan. It's about how he feels inside. And how change is hard, but that once you accept things it does get easier.

“Now, this information is for your mom. I think it might be helpful…”

I grab a pen and paper. I have to get it right.

“And, Max, if you need any more help, just call back. Someone will always be on the other end of this phone line, no matter what time it is.”

I glance at the clock. It's 3:30 am.

Chapter Fifteen

The sun streams into my room, making it hard to sleep. I yank the blankets over my head and lie there for a few minutes. I can hear Saturday-morning cartoons coming from Duncan's tv. He's got it turned up way too loud.

I glance at my clock. It's 8:00.

“Yes!” I whip off the blankets and jump out of bed. Mom's already in the shower when I knock on her door. Normally she'd be dead to the world. I guess she really did mean what she said last night.

I bang on the bathroom door. “Mom! Mom!”

“What's wrong?” she yells. “Is everything all right?”

“I've got tell you something! It's super important.”

“Okay, okay…just give me a minute.”

I plop down on her bed and wait.

“Okay, now what's so important?” she asks, coming out of the bathroom.

I begin to tell her, but I'm talking way too fast.

“Hey, hey, slow down,” she says. “You called who?”

“The Kids Help Phone.”

“Why would you call there?” She sits down beside me.

“Well, um, I wanted help. Here, I wrote it all down.” I pass her the paper with all the information. “You're not going to believe it, Mom.”

“What exactly did you tell this person?”

“A bunch of stuff.”

“Like what, Max?”

I shrug my shoulders. “About the fire, and how everything has changed now that Dad's gone and…”

She stares at the note and then looks away.

“What's the matter, Mom? I thought you'd be happy.”

“I can't believe you did this,” she says, shaking her head.

I bite my lip. “I'm sorry, Mom. I was only trying to help.” I glance down at my feet. It's not going right. Why isn't she happy? A lump lodges in my throat. “I'm really sorry about the kitchen and not staying with Duncan. I shouldn't have—”

She squeezes my hand. “The kitchen can be repaired, Max. I'm just thankful nothing more serious happened. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you boys.” Her voice trails off. “You're all I have.” She wipes her eyes. “You know, Mr. Cooper reminded me of something Daddy would have said.”

“Like what?”

“Well, that we all make mistakes and do things we're not proud of. But if we learn from them, they're sort of a blessing.”

She takes a deep breath. “Ever since Daddy died, I've been struggling to get through each day. I'm sorry things have been so tough for you.” She pauses. “It's time I get back into the driver's seat. I've been in the backseat for far too long.”

“I just want to play hockey,” I say quietly. “It's the one thing that reminds me of Dad. It's weird, but when I skate, it's like he's right there with me.”

Mom wraps her arms around me. “Let's take it one day at a time, and we'll see what we come up with.” She kisses me on the top of my head and says, “Dad would be so proud of you.”

“I miss him,” I whisper.

“I do too.”

We sit there for a few minutes not saying anything.

“You know, Max, you're just like him.”

“I am?” I can feel myself grinning.

Mom smiles. “That you are.”

“So, are you going to call?”

She looks at the note. “Of course I am. Why don't you let me get dressed and give me a minute to let this all sink in.” She stares at the note. “I still can't believe you did this—for us.”

Chapter Sixteen

The Family Hope Center is even better than the Kids Help Phone woman had described. Duncan has a bunch of new friends, but the best thing is, he gets his own support worker. She'll be with him after school until Mom gets home.

“It's taking a long time,” Duncan says while we're waiting for the worker to arrive for the first time.

“Hey, I think she's here!” I yell.

Duncan stops pacing and joins me in front of the window.

Mom turns off the kettle and slips in between us. We stand together like sardines stuffed in a tin can, watching her get out of a little yellow Volkswagen.

“I like her,” Duncan says.

“Her name is Alison,” Mom says.

“My Lady Alison,” Duncan corrects her.

Mom and I laugh.

“So where are we going?” I ask Mom later on that night.

“You'll see,” she says, pulling out of the driveway and heading up the hill toward the school. I have no clue what she's up to. She parks at the entrance to the path into the woods and turns off the car.

“It's dark out,” Duncan announces.

“There's actually a full moon,” Mom says. Then she looks at me.

“Are we really doing what I think we're doing?” I ask.

“Last one on the pond is a rotten egg.”

“For real?”

She nods.

“But, you—”

“I don't like rotten eggs,” Duncan butts in.

“Don't worry,” Mom says, turning to face Duncan. “I brought you hot chocolate.”

“Good,” he says in his deep voice.

Everything glows in the moonlight. The sky looks lit up. The trees rustle slightly in the breeze. Our boots crunch over the crisp snow. Even Duncan seems caught up in the magic of the night. He doesn't say a word. I still can't believe we're doing this with Mom.

“Oh my goodness, it's beautiful,” she says, breaking the silence. “No wonder you and Dad came here at night.”

“I like hot chocolate,” Duncan says.

“You're always moving us along, aren't you, Duncan.” Mom sits on the bench next to me while I tie up my skates. She pulls out the thermos and pours Duncan a cup of hot chocolate.

“I wish Dad was here,” I say quietly. “It doesn't feel right being here at night without him.”