May the Best Man Win (16 page)

“Very much. And you?”

“Oh yeah.” Great. And now the woman who'd never had a shortage of words for him was suddenly giving him the kind of stunted small talk usually reserved for awkward encounters with out-of-town cousins who only made the lineup by birthright.

“You've been running around since we got here. How about a dance, or maybe you want to sit down and take a break? I'll get you a drink.”

Her answer was in her eyes.
And it wasn't the one he was hoping for.

“I'm good. Really. I just offered to take care of this stuff. You know me,” she said with a less-than-convincing shrug. “I like to stay busy. And actually, I've got a couple of—” She broke off and looked at her hands. After a breath, she met his eyes. “It's not you, Jase. It's just… Today was kind of a lot.”

He was such an ass. “I feel like crap about it, Em. I shouldn't have—”

“No,” she said clearly, firmly. “I'm glad you did. But still, closure is kind of a big deal,” she said with a quiet laugh that made that spot in the center of his chest ache. “I think maybe I just need a minute with it, you know?”

Space. What she needed was some space, not some full-court press.

Not yet.

“I can give you space.” He leaned in and pressed a brief kiss to her temple. “Anything you need.”

* * *

“That's it?” Lena all but choked from where she'd been leaning over their end of the communal-style lunch table at Star of Siam, her glass of chardonnay suspended a few inches from her mouth. “We're leaving this with him giving you space?”

Emily smiled at the way Lena nearly spat the word, a bite of som tum carelessly dangling from her chopsticks as though she wasn't worried about it dropping onto her neat white suit. Emily would be terrified. With good reason.

“I think so, yeah. I mean, I know he was saying he wanted more, but after we talked… Lena, I think maybe it was more about closure. About putting the past behind us and moving forward as…” Okay, this was where she wasn't entirely sure. Because Jase hadn't said anything about them being friends. In fact, he'd been pretty clear that he'd never actually seen her as a friend. Even though he'd wished maybe he had. But now?

“Moving forward without all the baggage.”

Lena sat back, careful not to bump the woman sharing the bench seating behind her, and stuck out her deep-burgundy bottom lip. “But he was trying to get you back into bed. To
sleep
sleep with him.”

Yeah, and as tempting as that was coming from a guy like Jase, it also made her nervous. Because it smacked of the “next step” business Emily preferred to avoid.

And when she'd initially given in to that pull between them, a part of her had only been able to do it because Jase wasn't a “next step” kind of guy.

He'd seemed so safe.

“I know you're all deep in your honeymoon phase and ready to start recruiting. But believe me when I tell you that Jase and I aren't quality happily-ever-after candidates.”

Lena shook her head. “Obviously, I don't know the guy like you do…or I'd have some serious explaining to do.” She snickered with a flash of mischief in her eyes. “But I've seen him with some of his other girlfriends when everyone meets up for a show or dinner or something. And the way Dean tells it, Jase isn't the kind of guy who has trouble letting women out of his bed the next morning. That is, if he even let them in it. Isn't he one of those ‘your place, not mine' guys?”

Emily didn't know.

“All I'm saying is, he sounds
different
with you.”

“I think you just want him to be different. But even if he was… Lena,
I'm not interested
. What we had was fun and satisfying. But I'm not looking for forever any more than he is.”

“Right now,” Lena added, taking a bite of her salad and then dumping the extra side of peanut sauce she'd ordered over the whole thing. “You aren't interested in forever
right now
, but you will be some day.”

This time, it was Emily taking the deep swallow of wine, followed by another bigger bite of spicy, green shredded papaya. Which she chewed thoroughly.

From across the table, one neatly sculpted black eyebrow pushed toward the ceiling.

“Emily, don't you want to get married?”

As close as Lena and Emily were, this was one of those subjects about which Emily had always managed to be a better listener than a contributor. And having started their careers together working for Lena's dad, Paul, it wasn't like they didn't have a million
other
things to get caught up in conversation over.

Emily usually managed to worm her way out of this particular conversation with everyone. Even when her mother had cornered her last Thanksgiving, she'd found an out.

But the way Lena was watching her, there was no use hiding. The jig was up.

“I used to,” Emily answered honestly. “I used to think I wanted a husband. A family. Three little kids and a dog. But as I've gotten older—”

“Twenty-seven. Gasp. You're as old as the hills. A downright elder in the community. Do they tell folktales about you? Do the young-uns come seeking your wisdom?”

This was why Emily loved Lena. The woman could always be counted on to make her laugh.

Setting down her chopsticks, she shook her head and looked at her friend affectionately. “Yes, actually. They do come to me for wisdom.”

An eye roll was Lena's reply, quickly followed by one of those waving hands, not so politely requesting more information.

“I just don't feel the same way about marriage and family as I used to. I mean, I see you and Dean, and I couldn't be happier for you both. Same with Sally. I love
love
. But I love it more for you guys than for me. In my own life…” She broke off, letting her eyes roam over nothing and everything as she tried to think how best to explain. “Lena, I didn't get over what happened with Eddie the way you got over what happened with…he-who-must-not-be-named. You were so strong and so determined, and I'm so glad you found Dean.

“But when I think about getting serious, it's like I can't breathe. Like I want to run away. And the thing is, I'm not sad about it. I don't feel like I'm missing some critical piece of something. I just… I think I'm happier being on my own. I like that I don't have to answer to anyone about my schedule. I like having my own place. I like knowing that I can do anything I want, any time I want.”

“That sounds more like you aren't ready to settle down, though.”

“Maybe,” Emily said, picking up her chopsticks again, hoping to resume lunch and move on to a more comfortable topic.

Lena looked like she was debating whether to press, but in the end she just sighed. “So you didn't leave it any particular way with Jase.”

“No.”

“So really he might—”

“I don't think so, Lena. I think if anything we'd go forward as…”

Again, she couldn't quite make herself say
friends
, but the way he'd looked at her had been with real caring. She didn't know. “Whatever happens with us, I think it's going to be a lot easier than it has been in the past.”

March

How in the hell had she thought this was going to be
easier
? Nothing was ever easy when it came to Jase Foster.

“Friends? I thought we already had this conversation,” Jase said, pitching his voice to be heard over the crowded bar where Romeo was playing bass guitar with his band. “I don't think of you as a friend.”

“I remember. You never have. But I guess I thought maybe after our talk and how it's been between us lately, I thought you might now.”

Jase let out a short laugh, then did that laser-tracking thing with his eyes where she couldn't quite force herself to look away. “How it's been between us
lately
should have told you exactly why friends isn't where we're headed.”

The words probably should have stung, but with the way Jase was looking at her with that small curve at the corner of his mouth… No, she wasn't taking it hard.

“Okay, so you don't want to be friends. What do you want?”

The question slipped past her lips before she had a chance to think how ridiculous it was. Because what Jase wanted was obvious.

An unoccupied storage closet in close proximity.

A car with enough legroom for two individuals of above-average height to be able to get up to no good.

A quick hookup—or not so quick, if he was in the mood to push his luck—in any semi-private space he could find.

Jase wanted sex.

Which she'd been great with before, but now, sex suddenly felt…complicated. Which was making her nervous.

“What I want,” Jase said, leaning down into her space and then brushing her hair back so that when he spoke quietly into her ear, his lips grazed the outer shell, sending tingles shooting down her arms, “is to take you on a proper date.”

She blinked, momentarily mesmerized by his sexy smell and the deep rumble of his voice. She blinked again.

“Wait, what?” she asked, pulling out of smelling range to shake off the crazy effect he had on her.

Jase held her eyes, that cocky grin firmly in place. “A date. You've heard of them, I assume. You know, where I take you out for a meal and a bottle of wine…before I take you back to my place and spend the rest of the night making you beg and moan and gasp my name in that way you know drives me wild.”

Wow, and the goose bumps were rolling across her skin like a wave rushing to shore.

Okay, that sounded good. Very good, actually. Except for the part about it being a very bad idea.

“I'm sorry, Jase. But I think that would be a mistake.”

“Really?” he asked, that smile not giving an inch. “Why?”

“Jase, neither of us is interested in a relationship. And honestly, I'm a little concerned that if we keep on the way we have been, someone's emotions are going to end up getting involved.”

He nodded, those bright blue eyes tracking around the crowded bar before landing back on hers. “If I ask you a question, can you promise you'll be honest with me when you answer?”

She owed him at least that much. “Of course.”

“That dress,” he started, jutting the square of his chin toward the deep vee at the neck of her chocolate wrap. “Were you thinking of me when you picked it out?”

Had she actually been idiot enough to tell Jase she'd answer him with honesty?

Blowing out a long breath, she womaned up. Sort of. “I've been thinking about you a lot lately. So much has happened, you know?”

The corner of Jase's mouth twitched, but he didn't call her out on the sidestepping cheat. Instead, he nodded like he absolutely agreed. And then, “How about what's underneath? Were you thinking I'd like what you've got on beneath that damn-near-impossible-not-to-touch velvety plaything?”

She swallowed and felt her pulse speed and a slow-spreading heat move through her center.

Because while she hadn't actually been planning for Jase to see them when she selected the set in soft cream—cut sparse in all the places that mattered—there had been that single fleeting moment where she envisioned Jase's big hands reversing her progress and pulling them free. Pressing his mouth where the silk had been and—

“Yeah, that's what I thought,” Jase growled, that too-confident, too-sexy smile gone and something predatory in its place. And then his arm was wrapped around her shoulders, holding her close to him as they cut through the crowd toward the back of the bar.

This was nuts. She shouldn't be going with him. She shouldn't be eagerly matching his stride as Jase sought out someplace barely private to investigate exactly what kind of sexy the bra and panties she was wearing had going on. Because by ending things, there would be no risk. No worry of anyone getting in too deep. No messy emotions going off the chain when all she wanted was the security of emotions that were well contained.

But here they were again.

And now that she'd accepted she was going to take this one last night with him and then never think of him while selecting panties again, she wasn't even waiting for him to lead the way. She was cutting ahead of the crowd, catching his fingers with hers to lead to the back of the bar. Her heartbeat coming heavier than the bass pumping through the sound system, her skin beginning to tingle in anticipation of a touch she'd told herself she couldn't have again.

They turned into the back hall. There was a line of women waiting for the ladies' room, and no way she was going into the men's.

Jase pressed up against her, wrapping his long arms around her middle and pulling her in close so her back was tucked tight against the solid wall of his chest. Tighter still as he ducked his head to her ear.

“Where are you taking me, Emily?”

God, his breath on her neck. His words like a deep rumble moving inside her.

“I thought maybe there was someplace quiet back here, but—”

“Keep walking. Almost there.”

Her fingers slid between Jase's as they continued to advance down the hall. Until they got to the back exit.

She glanced at him from over her shoulder. “Through here?” she asked, anticipation ramping up with every second that passed. Because…the
alley
? Because never had anyone even thought for a second to take her to the places Jase did.

They stepped out into the brisk night air, and Emily shivered. Hooking her fingers through the buttons of Jase's shirt front, she pulled him closer. “It's freezing. We're going to have to be quick.”

His brow quirked, and another, even sexier smile presented itself as he shrugged out of one shoulder of his jacket and then the other, swinging it around to cover her.

“Put your arms in the sleeves, Em. It'll keep you warmer.”

She did and then she was stepping back into Jase, going to her toes because she could and tipping back to take his kiss. She opened beneath the press of his lips, moaned around the stroke of his tongue, and shifted closer.

The air was cold, but well above freezing. And as Jase kissed her, and kissed her and kissed her, she slowly stopped feeling the cold at all. In fact, quite the opposite. She was beginning to burn for him.

But his arms, while still wrapped tightly around her, hadn't made any headway toward the lower quadrant of her dress. Or her sexy, silky panties. Or even her bra.

Restless, she shifted her hips into him, getting even hotter as she encountered the hard length of his erection. He groaned against her mouth, his fists balling at the sides of her hips.

“Let me buy you dinner tomorrow.”

Emily stilled, all that achy tension begging for release. “What?”

“A date, Emily. And then”—the hands that had been at her hips splayed over her waist and coasted upward until his thumbs were brushing the bottom swells of her breasts—“I take you back to my place and—”

“Blackmail?” she gasped, a nervous laugh following on its heels, because no way. Even Jase wouldn't stoop so low. And
please
, like she was so desperate for a few moans that she'd agree to a date she wasn't interested in?

“Persuasion,” Jase corrected with a low laugh. Brushing his thumbs once more, barely grazing her nipples and then slowly withdrawing. “I want a date, Emily, not your Swiss bank account.”

Oh and
how dare he
with that barely there contact that had her insides standing up to beg.

“I love how wholesome you make it sound,” she snapped.

This time, the laugh was deeper, fuller. Doing something totally different to her.

Then he was looking into her eyes again, cupping her cheek in his palm. “There's nothing wholesome about the way I want you, Em. But the way I want you isn't just about sex.”

A part of her was clamoring to let go. Give in and just say yes. Lean in to Jase's kiss and let him take her out for a movie or fro-yo—and do all the things he'd promised after. But the greater part of her couldn't ignore the uncomfortable tension in her back or the increase in her pulse that wasn't exactly fun. The tightening of her chest.

“You date, Emily. I've seen you out. And there's something between us, so why not me?”

She could barely breathe. Why wouldn't he just let it go?

Those precious few hookups between them had been off-the-charts hot. Satisfying to the
n
th degree.

And they'd both walked away smiling. So why push it?

Jase's brows pulled together, his eyes darkening as he searched her face. “Emily—”

“Because
I don't trust you
. That's why, Jase,” she whispered, the air feeling thin in her lungs.

Jase didn't move. She could feel his eyes on her, but she wouldn't look back, staring at the patches of broken concrete around her feet instead.

“It's too cold to be standing out here,” she muttered, retreating a step and then another. “Especially if I'm not going to get warmed up the way that kiss promised I would.”

“Em.”

Slipping out of Jase's jacket, she checked the door they'd just come through and, finding it locked, kept walking toward the mouth of the alley. She'd go around front and pay the cover again if she had to. Anything but stand there with Jase Foster staring into her eyes like he wanted the one thing she thought would never be an issue with a guy like him.

“Emily, damn it,” Jase bit out, catching her arm and coming to stop in front of her. “What just happened?”

She looked down at where Jase's fingers were wrapped in a loose hold around her arm and felt the phantom pain of another hand there. A hold too tight. One that would leave bruises she'd have to cover for a week. Reflexively, she jerked away, rubbing at the spot as Jase's expression morphed from startled shock to dawning understanding to a potent, jaw-grinding, barely banked rage.

“Eddie?” he demanded, stepping toward her, his eyes more intense than she'd ever seen them. But then, just as quickly, he stepped back, holding his hands out to the sides so she could see he wasn't about to put them on her.

So he wouldn't scare her.

Something inside her died in that moment.

Because with Jase, no matter how they'd fought, no matter what insults were thrown, they'd always been on level ground. A part of her reveled in going head-to-head with him, because every time she was reminded that this man saw her as a worthy adversary. This man knew she was strong enough to take him on.

And until that very moment, she hadn't realized how important it was to her.

“Tell me. Was this fucking
Eddie
?” he asked, his voice little more than a low threat.

She wasn't going to talk to him about this. Not now. Not with those stupid tears pushing at her lids.

“Emily, wait.”

But she shook her head. Then, shoulders back, she stepped around Jase, giving him a wide berth, though she'd known he wouldn't touch her again.

“I'm going inside, Jase. Don't stop me.”

He let her go.

It wasn't until she was standing back at the booth where Sally had camped out for the night that she realized she was still clutching Jase's jacket tight. Holding it against her chest, like she didn't know how to let it go.

* * *

“What happened to you last night?” Brody asked, shouldering his broad frame—made all the broader by the addition of an insulated food tote and four overflowing handle bags—into Jase's place. “Thought you were going to stop in at Belfast when Santos finished his gig.”

Jase checked down the hall for any of the guys or Molly coming off the elevator, since he'd found another brick propping the “security” door that morning.

“Sorry, man. Emily was there with Sally, and—”

The insulated tote swung in front of his face like it was warding off a coming too-much-information moment. “Not like that, so don't get your man panties in a bunch.”

“Ahh, what then?” Brody asked, walking past him into the kitchen.

“I fucked up with her,” Jase said, the weight of those words hanging over him.

Hefting his bags onto the counter, Brody clucked his tongue. Christ, the guy could be such an old lady.

“Come on, man, leave the poor girl alone, will you?” Brody answered without turning around. “Joe here yet? I brought him something special.”

Brody loved Jase's dad and was always bringing him beer from the farthest reaches to try out. “He's not coming. Some buddy in town or something. And as to Emily, I don't think I can. But what happened with Eddie… It's worse than I thought.” Jase leaned back against the counter, Emily's face when she'd jerked away from him—that fear and pain etched sharp into every soft line—burned into the forefront of his mind. He didn't think he could ever forget it. “I should have been there for her. I mean, I
really
should have been there for her.”

Brody turned, that menacing look you almost never saw from him there in his eyes.

“
Worse
, like we need to pay for gas with cash when we drive out to Upstate New York so there's no paper trail when we drop in to ‘visit' Eddie—that kind of worse?”