Maya And The Tough Guy (21 page)

Maya glanced down at her jeans and t-shirt.

“And you’re all cocky and full of yourself, now. I don’t like it, Maya. I don’t like you like this. And you know what else? I think you’ve been screwing around. I can see it in your face. You think you found someone who treats you better than me. Well let me tell you this, you ungrateful little bitch…no one’s going to treat you better than I did and you know why?”

Maya held her chin up and refused to drop eye contact. But in this moment, she was remembering why she submitted. A bully might be weak and pathetic in terms of character, but they still have the power of a bully.
 

“It’s because you don’t deserve no better.”

There it was. Damon had always had hold of that fear and he’d always exploited it for all it was worth. Maya couldn’t stop the tears from stinging her eyes.

“You’re nothing but a worthless little cunt,” Damon said. “You were lucky I picked you up that night when I found you on the street and you’ll be lucky when I come back for you. Because mark my words, this asshole that you’re fucking, whoever he is…he’s going to start hurting you, beating you, telling you the truth of what you are, and you’re going to wish you’d stayed by my side.”

Maya sucked in a breath. “Goodbye, Damon.”
 

She stood and left, his shouts and curses echoing behind her.
 

#

Jayce went home and showered after his workout. He’d spent another morning with Mattie and Kellen. Mattie had gone from all-out hatred towards him, to accidentally calling him “Uncle Jayce.”
 

The memory warmed him. Jayce dressed and went to the living room in his small apartment. He had a desk against one wall where he sat, pulled out his laptop, and started an order to his supplier for the extra liquor he’d need for Maya’s big Ladies Night.

There was a knock on his door and he stood, tearing his eyes from the screen. He opened the door to find Maya standing there, her eyes slightly red-rimmed, but otherwise looking vibrant and healthy.

“I’m not here for sex,” she said.

He grinned. Those words could only mean that she actually was there for sex.

“I’m really not,” she said in answer to his thoughts. “I’m here for friend stuff.”

Jayce took in her unwavering expression and stepped aside to let her in. Maya plopped down on his sofa with a heavy sigh. “Can I get you a drink?” he offered.

“Do you have wine?”

He laughed. “I think I could probably find some. I’ll be right back.” He jogged downstairs to the bar, grabbed a bottle of sweet red that he’d seen her drinking on occasion, and ran back upstairs. After pouring her a glass and himself a cup of coffee, he took it to her and settled into the armchair next to the sofa. “So what’s up that you’re having a glass of wine before lunch?”

“I went to visit Damon.” She swallowed half the glass.

Jayce went cold. “I wish you hadn’t,” he said without thinking.

“Yeah? Well I wish I hadn’t either.” Then she dropped her head back and closed her eyes. “I guess I’m sort of glad I did, because if I hadn’t, I would have always wondered whether I should have. But now I see it was a waste of time. Gave me more stuff to unload to my therapist, though.”

His hands itched to touch her, not in a sexual way, but just to be physically connected. He was afraid to move, though, lest she think he was trying to come on to her.
 

She sighed and gave him a look, almost like she was annoyed. Then she patted the couch next to her. Jayce wasted no more time. He moved to her side, slid his arm along the back of the couch, and rested his free hand on one of hers. “What happened?” he prompted.

With another sigh, she leaned into him and said, “He looked terrible. Like a light breeze would knock him over. I couldn’t believe I’d spent all those years afraid of him. But then he started saying stuff, telling me that any man I chose to be with would eventually start hitting me because it’s what I deserve. That’s when I remembered why I was afraid. I was afraid because I believed I deserved the punishment. I’d spent my whole life being told how worthless I was and how everything bad that happened was my fault. So when I moved in with Damon, he just kept building on that foundation.”

Jayce rested his lips in Maya’s hair and closed his eyes. There was nothing he could say. He knew what she was feeling since he’d felt it too. It never really went away, but he knew she would overcome it as well as anyone could.
 

Her breath was coming in bursts and her body crumpled against his. She sobbed in his arms, talking through her tears. He could barely understand her, but he he got the gist of it. She was afraid of her children blaming themselves for the bad things in their lives. Jayce just held her, rocked her, and stroked her hair.
 

Early on in his experiments with women, he’d gone through a cougar phase. He’d been very attracted to older women because not only did they know what they were doing in bed, they’d also known how to baby him. There was one woman who’d even taken to packing him lunches for school. Looking back, he realized it was pretty sick and fucked up, but at the time, it had sure felt good to be taken care of. He didn’t want to be a replacement parent for Maya, but he did want her to feel taken care of in this moment.
 

After several minutes, Maya’s sobs finally settled. Jayce reached over to his end table and grabbed a box of tissues. Maya sat back and dabbed at her eyes and nose. Then she stared down at her hands. “I know it was never my fault,” she said softly. “But is this what we all feel like? Are my kids doomed to feel this kind of guilt and fear?”

Jayce pushed her hair back over her shoulder. “I think you should ask Addy that question. I asked her once, back in high school. What I asked her was, ‘Do you ever feel like you don’t deserve to be loved?’”

“What did she say?”

“She said no. She said she never felt that way. I mean, her parents are some cold hearted bastards, but they did something right because she’s the most emotionally stable person I’ve ever met.”

“What about Kellen?”

“Kellen is, too, but he’s been off at times. A lot of his ‘nice guy’ image has just been him separating himself from people. Damon did that to him. Kellen learned early on that people might look nice on the outside but be a monster on the inside. And for a while, Kellen believed himself responsible. But he figured out, just like I did, and just like you have, that the behavior of others is not his fault and that he does deserve love. Just like you do.”

She dried her eyes again and sat up a little straighter. She nodded. “Thanks.”

Jayce kissed her forehead.
 

“You should be a psychiatrist,” Maya said.

“I’m a bartender. It’s the same thing except my medicine tastes better and my advice is free.”

She grinned brightly at him. “You’re a good bartender.”

He nodded, accepting the compliment. “So, your kid called me ‘Uncle Jayce’ today. What do you think about that?”

“I think I should have taken the time to make friends with you a long time ago.”

With that, she kissed him on the cheek and stood to leave. Jayce leapt up and caught her arm. “Hey, wait.”
 

She turned and raised her eyebrows.

“I just wanted to thank you for coming here. For talking to me.”

She smiled and flippantly said, “No one else was available.”

As she headed for the door, he crashed from his brief high back into the reality of Maya’s indifference toward him. But at the door, she stopped and turned, a small frown creasing her forehead. “Jayce, I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean that. I came to you because I knew you cared and I knew you’d want to know. I came because you’re a good listener, you don’t judge, and—and I’m coming to trust you. So, that’s why I really came.”

“Oh, Maya,” he breathed, and wrapped her in his arms, kissing her hard and deep. When the kiss started to drive him too far into the insanity of lust, he broke away and buried his face in her neck, hiding for a moment to regain his composure.

“You wanna spend the night again, Friday?” she asked.

He stood back and grinned at her. “Yeah, absolutely.”

Her smile was kind of sad. “It can’t be an every Friday thing, you know? Because I already don’t get a lot of time with the kids and I like to wake up on Saturday morning with them climbing into bed with me and snuggling. They’re so sweet that way.”

He was nodding. “Okay. Not every Friday. But this Friday for sure?”

“Yeah. Kellen and Zoey can babysit for us.”

“Great.” He kissed her again, lightly this time.
 

She backed away. “See you this evening.” The door clicked shut and Jayce stared at it for way too long after.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Kellen brought Mattie to the gym again the next morning. Their workout ran a little more smoothly this time. On Friday, Kellen texted to say he was too tired and could Jayce come get Mattie. Jayce wasn’t sure Maya would want her boy going to the gym alone with him, but he figured he’d give it a try.
 

He drove to Zoey’s house. When Kellen answered the door, Jayce just laughed. The guy was blood-shot, his hair a mess, and still in his underwear. “Bad night?” Jayce asked, sliding past him into the house. He glanced around, hoping Mattie was still planning on coming.

“We were up all night,” Kellen said. “Fighting.” He glared at Zoey who was in her business suit, running around filling her thermos with coffee and searching for her purse.

“You were up all night being stubborn,” she growled.
 

Kellen moved into the living room, sat on the couch, and dug his palms into his eyes.

Zoey looked good. Jayce went in the kitchen for a cup of coffee and then sat in an armchair. “So what are we fighting about today, kids?”

Kellen gave him a disgusted look.

Zoey said. “Same thing we’ve been fighting about. He wants me to move out into the middle of nowhere with him when I own a perfectly good house right here in town.”

“That cabin is at most a ten minute commute—shit, why am I even bothering.” Kellen fell back on the couch.
 

“The man renovated it with his own two hands,” Jayce said to Zoey, who flipped him off. “He’s got a hot-tub for fuck’s sake.”

“Shh. Language.” Maya walked in, wearing nothing but a tank top and girl boxers. Her hair was piled on top of her head with a giant clip of some sort. Jayce stood and followed her into the kitchen, a dog after his master. He wanted to smell her, right in her neck just beneath her ear, if she would just be still for one minute.

She was trying to pour coffee and laughing at the way he was insistently getting into her space. At last she gave up, turned into him, and wrapped her arms around his neck.
 

Jayce felt instantly at peace. He buried his nose in her neck and inhaled. “Tonight, right?”

“Yes, Jayce.” She sounded like a mother losing her patience. He was doing his best not to seem insecure, but the plain and simple fact was, he
was
insecure. Maya could decide at any moment to end what they’d started and it would barely affect her. Meanwhile, he’d be devastated. Maybe after tonight, he’d have her convinced that they were right together.

He kissed her neck and jaw and sucked her earlobe between his teeth so that she squealed and writhed against him.

Then, because he heard a bedroom door open, he slowed down and backed away, his hands resting on her waist.
 

“I’m ready to go, Uncle Jayce.”

Jayce grinned at Maya. “Hear that?” he asked.
 

She patted his cheek and he turned toward the living room. “You coming, Kellen?”

Kellen glared up at him with pure despair in his eyes.
 

Jayce was okay with it. Some time alone with Mattie might be good. The kid didn’t say much as they climbed in the truck and drove across town to the gym. Jayce parked and then reached behind the seat. “Here, I got these training gloves over at the Tae Kwon Do studio. They should fit.”
 

Matthew took them and Jayce got out of the truck. Matthew was shoving his hands into them as they walked into the gym. They tossed their coats on a chair next to the door. Matthew was wearing a sleeveless tee with a picture of The Hulk on it, and black shorts. His hair was kind of shaggy and he kept having to toss it out of his face. For a moment, Jayce thought he looked pretty cute.

But then he thought about how much the boy probably didn’t want to be cute. They did their warm-up now that Mattie had figured out how to jump rope—he’d apparently spent all day Wednesday practicing. After that, Jayce showed him a couple of weight lifting exercises, and then let him practice in the ring with Ace, who’d really taken a liking to the kid.
 

Jayce smiled as Ace gave the boy a lesson, showing him stances and how to punch. He listened with warmth in his heart as Mattie talked and laughed.

“Whose kid?”

Jayce didn’t turn. Norris was right behind him. He wanted to say, “Mine.” But Matthew wasn’t his. “Maya’s.”

“Smart move. You wanna get into a woman’s pants, you gotta act like you like her kids.”

Jayce turned around, shoved the old man, and immediately regretted it. He hated showing any kind of weakness to Norris. He didn’t want the old man knowing he still had the power to anger him. “Don’t talk to me about Maya. Or her kids. Ever.”

Norris grinned maliciously. But then Jayce closed the distance and stared him down. The grin faded and Norris looked smaller. “Yeah, whatever. You don’t have to be so pissy about it.” He turned and went to the weight area to spot for a guy.
 

Jayce turned back to Matthew who was having a blast with Ace. He just stood there, arms folded over his chest, and watched.

When they finished, Jayce held the punching bag while Matthew went at it. Then Matthew tried to hold the bag for Jayce, but ended up getting lifted off the ground a time or two. Which made them both laugh.
 

After an hour, Jayce noticed Matthew finally flagging. They were both drenched in sweat, but Jayce thought it would be best to take him home rather than using the showers in the gym. They drove home in companionable silence, none of the tension that used to exist between them.