Maybe This Christmas (5 page)

Trapping Tyler O’Neil in a meeting room was like trying to cage a tiger.

Her feet brushed through a light dusting of fresh snow, and she knew without any help from the weather forecast that they were going to have more before the week was out. She could smell it in the air. The temperature had plummeted, and the sky was heavy with it.

As far as she was concerned, there was no place on earth more perfect than Snow Crystal. She loved the stillness and peace of the lake in the summer, the burst of fall color that turned the dense leaves of the forest to flame, but most of all she loved the frozen beauty of winter.

“Brenna, wait.” Kayla hurried across to her, her laptop bag banging against her hip, her blond hair sliding over her stylish berry-red coat. Like Christy, her hair was smooth and perfect. Like Christy, she could have walked into any boardroom in New York and not looked out of place.

“Everything all right?”

“Yes, but I haven’t seen you for a couple of days. It’s been crazy. Are you using the gym tomorrow?” Kayla’s phone beeped, and she checked it quickly. “Text from my ex-boss in New York, offering me a promotion if I go back. Hilarious. He’s sending me one a week at the moment. They’ve won a big account, and they’re desperate for staff.”

“Would you go back?”

“Not in a million years. Manhattan at Christmas is my nightmare. Give me fir trees and forest every time. I’d rather hug a moose than visit Santa.”

“And most of all, you’d rather hug Jackson.”

Kayla gave a wicked smile. “True enough. That man makes it hard to get up in the morning, that’s for sure.” She slipped her phone back into her pocket. “I love it here. And this winter I’m determined to get better at skiing so I’m not left behind. I’m done with Tyler’s derogatory comments about my lack of ability.” She followed Brenna’s gaze and saw him striding away. “He doesn’t hang around, does he? I wanted to persuade him to run a master class for advanced skiers, but he ran off before we’d finished.”

“I suspect the prospect of coaching the high school team and guiding was enough of a challenge for one meeting.”

“I don’t get the problem. He loves skiing. He finds it fun. What’s wrong with skiing with guests?”

“Because he’s the best. And fun for him is skiing places that would give any other person a heart attack.”

“All of it gives me a heart attack. The idea of launching myself down a vertical slope is terrifying.”

“That’s because this is only your second season.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m always going to find it terrifying. I’m a coward, and it isn’t natural to put myself in a position where I could kill myself. How do you do it? I mean, you hurl yourself down slopes that would make me cry. Jackson said the other day he thought you could have made the U.S. ski team if you’d had more encouragement from your parents.”

It was something Brenna didn’t let herself think about. “They wanted me to get a proper job.”

“You run the Outdoor Center. That isn’t a proper job?”

“Not to them.” Brenna tilted her face and felt flakes of snow flutter onto her cheeks. “I guess I’m a disappointment.”

“How can you be a disappointment? You’re such a talented teacher, equally good with wimps and daredevils.” Kayla’s eyes gleamed. “Hey, that is a great idea. We should name a class
daredevils.
”

“Not if you want me to take it. Kids don’t need any encouragement to act crazy on the slopes.” Brenna pulled her hat out of her pocket. “I’ll catch him up. See if I can persuade him to do your master class.”

“Perfect. Then he can kill you and not me. All we need now is snow.” Kayla turned as Jackson joined them. “Ready for dinner? Your mom texted. She’s made pot roast. Although what her text
actually
said was
pit rot,
so you might want to order takeout.”

“I’m not sure I’m in the mood for a family gathering. How does pizza in bed sound?” Jackson slid his arm around her shoulder. “Are you joining us, Brenna?”

“For pizza in bed? I don’t think so.” She pulled her hat onto her head and smoothed her hair away from her face. “I have to finish working on plans for the race series.”

“We can’t have pizza in bed,” Kayla murmured. “I promised Elizabeth we’d be there. It’s family night. Sean and Élise are coming, too, and Jess is already there.”

“I love my family, but there are days when I could happily move to California.” Jackson lowered his head, kissed her and then gave Brenna an apologetic look. “Everything all right in Forest Lodge? You’re comfortable?”

“It’s perfect. I love it. Forest Lodge is my dream home. And it’s convenient. Thanks for letting me stay again this season.”

“It helps us out having you here on-site, and we have empty cabins so it makes sense. Good night, Brenna.”

“Good night.” She watched as the two of them walked toward the main house, their arms looped around each other as they picked their way over the snow. She felt a pang of envy and stood for a moment, her emotions tangled. She was pleased for them. Happy they were happy, but somehow their happiness and what they shared made her conscious of what was missing in her own life.

Feeling tired and cross with herself, she made her way down the snowy path that led from the Outdoor Center to the lakeside trail and Forest Lodge. It was one of the first log cabins Jackson had built when he’d taken over the running of Snow Crystal, and Brenna loved it. All the cabins were beautiful, but Forest was special.

The resort had been in the O’Neil family for four generations, but it wasn’t until Jackson’s father had died that the truth had emerged. The business had been at risk, and it was Jackson who had walked away from a successful ski business in Europe to come home and run the family business, helped by Tyler, whose own career had crashed and burned in spectacular fashion.

She walked along the path, breathing in the smell of pine and the crisp night air. The sounds of the forest calmed her. The snow cover was still thin, but they were all hoping that was about to change.

She was so deep in thought, she almost walked straight into Tyler, who was waiting for her.

In her flat snow boots she barely reached his shoulder. “I thought you were long gone.”

“There is only so much corporate boredom I can take at a time.”

“So why are you still here?”

“You were upset in that meeting. Why do you never speak up?” He reached out and pulled her hat farther down over her ears. “You should have told my brother no when he asked you to coach the high school team.”

He’d always been able to read her, which made his apparent lack of awareness about her feelings for him all the more surprising. Over the years she’d come to the conclusion that the fact he knew her so well was the very reason he hadn’t guessed the truth. They’d been best friends for so long it hadn’t ever occurred to him to question that relationship or see her in any way other than the girl he’d grown up with.

And she preferred it that way.

It was easier for both of them if he didn’t know.

She didn’t want the awkwardness that would inevitably come should such an imbalance in the relationship be revealed.

“I was going to do it, until you volunteered.”

The silence of the forest wrapped itself around them. They stood on the intersection between the path that led to the Outdoor Center and the path that led through the forest to the lake.

“Someone had to do it, and I didn’t want it to be you.” The collar of his jacket brushed against the dark shadow of his jaw, and his eyes glittered impatiently. “You should have said no.”

“This is my job. Jackson asked me to do it.”

“And he shouldn’t have, but when it comes to Snow Crystal, my brother has tunnel vision.”

“I guess that happens when you’re fighting to save a business. You didn’t have to volunteer. I would have done it.”

“But only because doing it was preferable to having a difficult conversation.”

“Excuse me?”

“You do anything to avoid confrontation.”

“That isn’t true.” She looked away, embarrassed and frustrated because she knew it
was
true. “What did you expect me to do? Tell my boss no?”

“Why not? You hated everything about that school. You couldn’t wait to leave. We both know you don’t want to go back there.”

Her stomach curled into a tight, uncomfortable knot.

There were so many things she wished she’d said and done differently. Things her grown-up self would have told her teenage self as well as her tormenters.

“I wasn’t that interested in studying.”

“We both know that wasn’t why you hated the place.”

She flushed, unsettled that he knew her so well. Her school days had been a miserable time. That whole period of her life would have been miserable had it not been for the O’Neil brothers, Tyler in particular.

“Why are we talking about this? It’s long since over and done with.”

“There you go again—avoidance. When it’s something difficult, you duck. Hide. Who was it? I want to know.”

“Who was what?”

“Who gave you a hard time?”

He’d asked her the same question repeatedly over the years, and she’d never given him an answer. “Why are you bringing that up now? It was a long time ago.”

“Exactly. So you might as well tell me.”

His persistence exasperated her. “It was no one.”

“You fell in the ditch by yourself?” He put his fingers under her chin and tilted her face to him. “Jackson and I had a few suspicions. Was it Mark Webster? Tina Robson? Those two caused most of the trouble in your grade.”

“It wasn’t them.” She tried to ignore the way his hand felt against her skin. “I was clumsy, that’s all.”

“Honey, you skied with me, and most of the time you kept up. There were moments when you were almost better on that hill than I was.”

“Almost? Arrogance isn’t attractive, Tyler.” But she’d seen the gleam in his eyes and knew he was playing with her.

“Neither is evasion.” A smile that was altogether too attractive flickered at the corner of his mouth. “You’re never going to tell me, are you?”

“No. It’s behind me and anyway, I don’t need you protecting me.”

“Cameron Foster?”

“Tyler, stop!”

“If you’d told me who it was, I would have pushed them in the ditch.”

She knew that was the truth. Tyler O’Neil had spent more time in the principal’s office than he had in the classroom. “That’s why I didn’t tell you. You were in enough trouble without me being responsible for more. Look, I appreciate you volunteering to take that class, but you don’t need to. I can do it. We both know you’d hate it. Why would you want to put yourself through that?”

“Because it’s you.”

Her heart pumped a little faster. Hope, that thing she kept ruthlessly suppressed, flickered to life inside her. “What’s that supposed to mean? Why would you do it for me?”

He frowned, as if he thought it was a strange question. “Because I care about you. Because we’ve been friends since you could walk.”

Friends.

She felt a thud of something inside her and recognized it as disappointment.

How could she possibly be disappointed about something that had been her reality forever? She should be grateful for his friendship. It was greedy of her to want more, but still she
did
want more. She wanted it all. She wanted the whole fantasy.

But that was all it was ever going to be, of course.

A fantasy.

Tyler gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder. “Stop looking so sick. I’m taking that class and that’s final. If it makes you feel better, you can buy me a bottle of whiskey for Christmas to numb the agony.”

“I already bought your Christmas present.”

“You did? What is it?”

“A box set of chick flicks for you to watch with Jess. I thought it would help you bond.”

He groaned. “You had better be joking. But talking of Jess, I need your help. She is desperate to ski.”

Like father, like daughter.

It was bittersweet, because she’d longed for that very thing—the man and the child. Home. Family. Snow Crystal. Officially being an O’Neil. She didn’t know if it was because she was old-fashioned, or because she’d known right from the start that the only man she wanted in her life was Tyler. She hadn’t needed to meet hundreds of other men to know he was the one.

But he didn’t want that. And he certainly didn’t want it with her.

She forced herself to focus on the topic of Jess. “She skis with you. There is no better training than that.”

“It’s all she wants to do. She’s falling behind with her schoolwork. Not concentrating in class.” He dragged his hand over his jaw. “How am I supposed to handle that? I try and tell her to do her homework, but I never did mine, so does that make me a hypocrite? Do I tell her to do as I say or do as I did? I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about last winter when I tried holding her back. Look how that turned out.”

“She was pushing you. Testing you. You worked through it.”

“She ran away!”

“You found her almost right away.”

“But not before she’d given us all a heart attack.”

Brenna thought about the night Jess had gone missing. “I suppose you have to set boundaries.”

“You ignored the boundaries. So did I. How do I enforce them with my daughter?”

Seeing him question himself was a novel experience. Tyler was fearless and confident. Both qualities were an essential part of a sport that demanded total precision. He’d never had any doubts about what he wanted out of life, and she found his attempts to adapt to living with a teenage daughter endearing. Suspecting that
endearing
wasn’t an adjective he’d thank her for, she kept it to herself.

“Why would you be messing it up? You made it clear from the moment Janet sent her here that she was loved and wanted. That’s the most important thing.”

Jess hadn’t revealed much about the years she’d spent with her mother in Chicago, but she’d said enough to make Brenna, who had always considered herself to be even-tempered, hope she never came face-to-face with Janet ever again.

“Loving her isn’t enough though, is it? I’m worried I’m a lousy father. That’s the truth.” He took a deep breath and pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “I haven’t admitted that to anyone but you.”