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Authors: James McLevy

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Her confession was subsequently taken by the Crown officers, and she never swerved from it. I believe if I had not fallen upon this mode of extorting an admission, the proof would have failed,
for every vestige of mark had been carefully removed; while the deception she had practised on the people of the inn had been so adroit, that no one had the slightest suspicion of her. The other
parts of the child were not, I think, got; indeed it was scarcely necessary to search for them, confined as they were, probably, in the pipes. She was tried before the High Court; and, in the
absence of an evidence to show that the child had ever breathed,—which could only have been ascertained by examining some parts of the chest,—she was condemned upon the charge of
concealment, and sentenced to nine months’ imprisonment.

A Want Spoils Perfection


T
he coming round of extremes, so as to meet and disappear in each other’s ends, is a thing which all must have noticed, and why not I among
the rest? I rather think that in my small way I couldn’t have done what I have done, if I hadn’t been a
thinker
, and so I have noticed the danger of overdoing things. Not only
do strong passions, though good, land in the slough of evil, but overstretched prudence, cold and calculating, leads to a pretty considerable combustion. Yes, our old mother says, “Walk in
the middle”—on the sides there are pitfalls; and yet we are never happy if we are not gaping over precipices, and talking of the picturesque and the sublime. No wonder a few topple
over, and thus add to the picturesque.

When Mr C——, watchmaker in Arbroath, afraid as he was to leave his stock of watches in his shop, bethought himself of the prudent step of removing them at night, by a medium exposed
to danger, he was just walking to the
side
. One night in January 1850, his two apprentices, in pursuance of their master’s care, collected all the Watches—about fifty in
number—with many other valuable things in silver and gold, and deposited them in a box, with the view of their being carried to Mr C——’s dwelling-house, at some distance
from the shop. The shop was then locked up, and one of the lads, swinging the box on his back by means of a leather strap, proceeded, with his companion alongside of him as a guard, to the usual
safe place of deposit. The night was pitch dark. Their way lay by a path where the houses were thinly scattered, and the property was thus placed in a far more dangerous position than if it had
been left in a good safe under lock and key in the shop, also itself under lock and key, and all under the survey of neighbours—if not of the police. When some way on their road, up started
two men, one of whom held the companion, while the other, applying a knife to the strap, undid the box and made off with it in an instant. The other, letting go his grip of the lad, was also off
like a flash of lightning, and the extreme care of the valuable box was thus superseded by the effort of a few minutes. The boys were too much stunned to be able to pursue, even if they had had the
courage, or even to bawl, though they had the common instinct, Like most other premeditated efforts, the thing was well done; and long before any hue and cry could be got up, the robbers were far
away.

Next day the usual information came fulminating over to Edinburgh—usual, with the to-be-expected abatement, that no description could, in the circumstances, be possible. The boys, under
the influence of the fear which paralysed them, could and did give nothing but a “travestie” of the features of the men. When I read the confused account,

“Why,” said I to the Lieutenant, “these noses, eyes, and chins, are so like what we see every day, that I might as well take up the Lord Provost as any one else.” And as
I had been reading a funny satire of the man called Lavater, some nights before, I could not help being humorous in my own blunt way. “Do you know that a great man, Lichtenberg by name, a
queer satirical body with a hunch, raised all Germany into a laugh, by publishing the figure of a pig with a nicely curled tail, and marked on one turn of the said tail ‘firmness,’ on
another ‘benevolence,’ on another ‘murder,’ all of which went to show the nature of the animal, just as Lavater labelled the features of a man’s face. So here we are
required to find these two clever fellows, by signs given by two boys in the dark. I may find the watches, and thereby the men, and so far the intimation is proper and hopeful, but to expect us to
find the men by their
noses
, is just rather too much.”

“You can only do your best, James,” said Mr Moxey, looking up at what he thought wonderfully learned in me.

“Yes, sir,” replied I, “but I know no
best
but detection; without that the best is the worst.”

So I could only try the usual places of deposit and pledge, when there might be time for the thieves getting here and disposing of their prey. Watches are “casting up” things. They
are seldom melted, for their value is so much more than that of the materials, and then they are always in request, so I had some chance of meeting them somewhere—at least one or more out of
such a stunning number as fifty. Accordingly, I did my best in the dead-object way, but without any success, and I could trust only to time and continual dodging to arrive at any discovery.

Some time passed, I don’t remember how long. As for trying
faces
, it was out of the question, when I had neither image in my mind, or description to go by; and I need not say that
I did not continue that, because I really never began it. But, as it will appear, my lucky genius had not flown away up above the stars to report how she had favoured me and had got enamoured of
some other winged creatures, so as to delay her return. I was one night on my rounds in the Grassmarket, attended as usual by my companion. The night was not so dark as that one could not see a
considerable way before. I was rather complaining that there was nothing to see. We were approaching Smith’s Close, when my ear was startled, and my eye directed towards a man who had
instantaneously left a companion, and rushed with clattering steps up the close.

“Seize that one,” said I.

And after the other up the close I sprang at the top of my speed. I saw his dark figure before me, which, as the moon, getting from behind a cloud, threw a reflection, (made angular by the
sky-line of the high houses,) came out in an instant, firm, clear, and distinct. There was no chance for him, and he knew it. She was not so kind to one of her “minions” on this
occasion as she used to be in the old border times. Just as I was coming upon him, he whirled a guard from his neck and threw away a watch.

“What’s the matter with the timepiece, man?” said I, as I laid hold of him, and dragging him to the article, picked it up. “Isn’t it a good ‘un that you threw
it away?”

The fellow was sulky, and would not answer me; but a watch was so pleasant an object to me at that particular time that I overlooked the affront. Dragging him to the foot of the close, where his
companion was in the custody of my assistant, we took our men to the Office, where I very soon discovered that the watch was one of Mr C——’s fifty. My anticipations, in which I
had been so wise, were thus strangely enough reversed. In place of getting the men through the
watch
, I had got the watch through the
men
. And my next object was to improve upon
the good fortune that had been so kind to me, in spite of my want of confidence in my benefactress. But here commenced a new difficulty. The men foolishly enough gave each the other’s name,
Alexander Clark and James Mitchell—quite different from those they carried for the nonce; but as for aught else, they were what we call lockmouths. No skeleton-key would reach their works. I
was thus driven aback, nor did I make much progress for some time, except in hearing that one Hart had got another of the watches from another man, who had got it from Mitchell. This I, of course,
treasured up in the meantime; but I was so anxious to worm out of my men where they resided—the true clue to all other discoveries—that I postponed all other inquiries, and besides,
from what I knew of Hart, a lockmouth too, I had no hopes of him. All my efforts with my men were, however, vain. They would admit nothing as to their place of putting up; sullen, if not enraged,
at the trick practised on them in getting each to give the other’s real name. Why such men could have been so completely off their guard is not easy to be accounted for, except on the
supposition that they were trying to fight shy of one another, or upon the principle I have often acted on, that even a cautious thief will sometimes allow the admission of a fact not directly
implicating himself to be jerked out of him by a sudden question. After the men had been sent in custody to Dundee, I sought out Hart, and was just as unsuccessful with him. He would not admit to
the watch, neither would he confess that he knew the residence of either the one or the other.

And here this strange case—destined to have so many crooks in its lot—took another turn, which, involving a little disregard of courtesy towards me, roused my independence to a
rather grand vindication. The authorities in Dundee sent over an officer, who informed us that eighteen of the watches had been recovered there, and that they had ascertained, by the confession of
Mitchell, that the thieves had been residing in Edinburgh, in a certain tavern kept by a Mrs Walker. Mr Moxey got the intelligence, and whether or not it was that he had been suddenly seized with
the ambition of becoming a practical detective I cannot say; but true it is that, without any communication to me, he set out with the Dundee officer to find out Mrs Walker, and, no doubt, recover
the remainder of the watches. Well, I allowed them full rope, and they wandered about for a whole day, without being able to find this same tavern. I knew very well what they were after, and could
have led them to the house as direct as to the jail, but I abstained from all interference, where my services were, as I thought, superseded. Perhaps there was a little cunning—what could we
do without it?—at the bottom of my very virtuous indignation.

At length, and when utterly exhausted, my superior called me in the evening.

“James,” said he, “I can make nothing of this inquiry; there is no Mrs Walker’s tavern in Edinburgh.”

“Why, sir, hadn’t you better continue the search all night? said I; “you may get the house before the morning.”

He looked at me to see the state of my face, and smiled, for he was a very good-natured man.

“Do you mean what you recommend?” said he.

“To be sure I do,” said I. “It was no wish of mine that you should begin the search, but seeing you have begun it, and every moment is precious, I think you should end it
before you sleep.”

“But I
have
ended it.”

“Yes, in your way, but not exactly in mine. However, I am wearied, and, if you please, while you are
beginning
where you
ended
, I shall go to bed.”

“I have done enough to-day,” was the reply; “I shall see what more can be done tomorrow. I have some letters to write.”

Leaving him, I went out, but in place of going down the High Street home, I proceeded to Smith’s Close, where I knew Mrs Walker had her tavern, and had had it for years.

“Mrs Walker,” said I, as the good woman opened the door, “did two young men lodge with you for a few days lately?”

“Ay,” replied she.

“Will you show me where they slept?”

“Surely.”

And leading the way, she showed me into a bedroom with one bed in it.

I then began to look about in my ordinary way, first very cursorily, and finding nothing, where I expected nothing, I got upon my knees, and sprawled in under the bed, so low being the bottom
that it was with great difficulty I could get a part of my body in. I then came out again, as most people do when they get into any kind of holes, except one, pulling out after me a pillow-case,
apparently, that is, to the touch, filled with hay, and so, to be sure, in undoing the mouth, I found it was. On pulling out the hay, however, I brought along with it a towel containing something
hard.

“There will be eggs among the hay,” said the landlady.

“Laid by
cocks
, perhaps,” said I, as I undid the towel. And there I laid open as pretty a sight as one could wish to see—thirty watches, white and yellow, just lovely
to behold.

“Are you a wizard, Mr M’Levy?” said the woman, as she held out her hands; “all that in my house, and me as ignorant of it as a sucking child!”

“I don’t doubt you, Mrs Walker,” said I; “but confess that you think I should be content.”

“Content!” replied she; “I know not what would content you if these didn’t. Just offer them to me, and see whether or not I would be content.”

“But I am not content,” said I; “I want one more.”

“Well, I aye thought you were a reasonable man, Mr M’Levy.”

“‘A
WANT SPOILS PERFECTION
,’ Mrs Walker,” said I; “and I will not be satisfied till I get this want supplied.”

Rolling up my watches I left the house, and went direct to the Office. Mr Moxey was busy with his letters.

“What?” said he, there again, James! I thought you had gone to bed.”

“I have just something to do first,” said I, as I laid down the parcel, (retaining the bundle of hay.) “Mrs Walker, tavern-keeper, Smith’s Close, Grassmarket, presents
her compliments to Mr Moxey, and begs to send him two dozen and a half of fresh eggs from Arbroath.”

“Eggs to me! are you mad?” But beginning to smell, as he suspected, a trick, he opened the towel, and saw before him Mr C——’s thirty watches.

“Where got?” he asked.

“Where, but in Mrs Walker’s tavern, where they naturally fell to be.”

“And unknown to her?”

“Close up to the wall beneath the bed, and all, like eggs, enclosed in this hay.”

“I’ll never interfere with your searches again,” he added, laughing. “I’ll write this moment, and make C—— a happy man.”

“Yes,” said I; “and tell him, that, though I’m a
safe
enough
man
, I’m not ‘a patent safe.’”

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