Me Without You (9 page)

Just then, Xavier opened the door and
joined Hugh. He swatted Hugh's arm and told him, "Thanks a lot for
bringing me in there and staying with me. You know I don't like
those woo-hoo stuff she does."

"Oh, come on, X! No harm done. You're
in one piece. You don't even have to believe. Let me show you,"
Hugh said. He ran his hand in circles over Xavier's chest and
added, "Tell me if you're not feeling better already."

"It's not that. It's just being with
her—" Xavier stopped in mid-sentence, color rising to his face,
looking embarrassed. "I didn't mean to say that about
her—"

Hugh chuckled merrily. "Gotcha! Now,
we're even for putting me through the call with Jonah earlier.
Don't bother explaining. I feel the exact same thing even if she's—
you know."

"So, how do you reckon about Jonah?'
Xavier asked.

"I'll have this one fixed
first before you give it to her," Hugh said, pocketing the
habak
.

"No way," Xavier blurted out. "I am not
giving it to her. She's your mother. It's her orders,
remember?"

"She's your girlfriend, remember?" Hugh
asked. "It'll look funny."

"We—" Xavier stopped and looked
thoughtful for a moment. "But you like her, don't you?" he asked,
catching himself by surprise.

Hugh was silent but he did not break
eye contact with Xavier. Neither a single crinkling between the
eyebrows nor the quivering of the mouth would have betrayed what he
was thinking or feeling. The expression on his face was
bland.

Xavier dismissed the idea with his hand
before Hugh could say anything and turned to leave. He pulled a
bonnet out of his pocket and put it on his head. He called over his
shoulder and said, "I am out of here, man. If mom asks—I need some
air. And yes, I feel better already."

Hugh heard the last of
Xavier's footsteps died down before he was able to breath freely
again. He mused.
Did I like Jonah?
Did it matter?
It wouldn't
have mattered because Xavier loved her and she loved him back. And
there was no way he could take away from Xavier the one thing which
kept him alive, couldn't he?

It was not about Xavier. Or
Jonah. It was about how he truly felt for Jonah.
Did he like Jonah?
That
was the issue.

The Healer's Gift

Jonah had been roaming around the
600-hundred-year-old Church for the lack of anything better to do.
She bounced off, coming down from the balcony of the building. It
was there when she felt like a CCTV camera was following her every
move, secretly knowing the times when she snuck out with Xavier to
make-out at the farthest corner of the balcony. Despite feeling the
guilt, prompted by a conservative religious mindset instilled by
Rebecca's voice in her head, she smiled mischievously looking back
at those moments.

She could hear the piano and a very
familiar male voice singing in the background from down
below.

It can't be
X
… Jonah told herself.
Probably a member of the church choir practicing. But it
couldn't be X.

When Jonah reached the first floor, she
sat at the farthest corner at the back. She had opted to remain
inside the Church than to go with Jane to Father Ulysses’ office to
discuss the services for Rebecca.

Jane was the only one who insisted that
Rebecca be given a proper religious service. Jonah had thought it
wouldn't make any difference. The other Blood siblings had agreed
it would be laughable to include the Church to bury their mother.
Even Aunt Judith had not opposed.

"It's the least we can do for her
funeral!" Jane had insisted. "It'll be like an acknowledgement for
the good that she has done."

It wasn't a secret that Rebecca had
earned the ire of the bishops. While both Rebecca and the bishops
rubbed elbows in charitable functions, they were stabbing each
other behind their backs. Rebecca may have been a staunch supporter
of the Church but Jonah doubted her mother was a true
believer.

Rebecca had often said, "The Church is
where the influence is. And I want to be in the middle of
it."

But the worse scenario for Jonah would
be for the people to flock to the Church to see if the rumors were
true—that Rebecca and the rest of her family cannot really enter
the building without turning into witches and burning.

It had started even before Jonah was
even born. The tale went on that there was once when people
witnessed Rebecca in a heated argument with a woman just outside
the Church. And when Rebecca tried to enter the building, a strong
wind blew, her hair had stood on its ends and her eyes had turned
red.

A few days after, the woman whom
Rebecca had a spat with, died mysteriously.

The older members of Jonah's family
took the rumors as a joke. However, Jonah had never quite gotten
used to it. She still felt embarrassed every time she heard of it.
And there was the burning desire to prove people wrong.

The last time Jonah had been inside the
Church, it had already been months. And it was not to attend
celebrations. Blushing with embarrassment, she was reminded again
of her not-so-religious adventures and intentions when she
frequented the Church.

Jonah looked towards the right side
corner of the altar where the big piano was. She froze, almost
forgetting to breathe and think as she saw two boys who were
looking over sheets of paper.

Even with his bonnet, which was pulled
low to his face, the tall boy about her age, looking through the
other one’s brown-haired head who sat by the piano, was undeniably
familiar. Although, it was the last place Jonah thought she would
find Xavier, it was so unexpected to see him there, looking like—
he was supposed to be there.

X…

Jonah was feeling foolish all of a
sudden. For so many weeks, she had thrown herself towards Xavier
just to get a word from him—she almost camped outside of his house.
But seeing Xavier again just a few meters away from her and she
could not think of anything but her hair and the lack of
make-up.

I am not moving an inch…even
when he sees me
. Jonah thought to herself.
She squirmed a bit, her hands feeling sweaty all of a sudden. She
noted three more people inside the Church. They were in deep
prayer.

God, if they see me
here…I’ll die
. She thought. It never
entered her mind the possibility of bumping into Xavier inside the
Church. Since he was avoiding her for so long, he wouldn't turn up
in the same places he knew Jonah will likely find him. It had been
Xavier who drew her to Church then. His voice…his looks—making out.
But it was also him who drove her away from the place. She wasn’t
expecting to see him at all when she decided to be left behind
because all she wanted to do was to avoid being asked to play a
part in Rebecca’s services.

Maybe, he wants to be
found…
Jonah reasoned to herself recalling
what Hugh said that Xavier was getting well and he may connect with
her again.

Without taking her eyes off from the
altar, Jonah felt blindly through her sling bag for the little
mirror she always carried with her. When she finally found it
amidst the mess inside, she flipped it open and looked at her
reflection without taking the mirror from the bag. She slouched
lower to take a peek at herself but all she could see was a part of
her face from her eyes to her nose, which wasn't that disappointing
at all.

God, my hair…why did I cut
my hair?

"Why should I feel
discouraged…why should the shadows come…why should my heart feel
lonely…And long for Heav'n and home," Xavier's strong male voice
reverberated through with his own rendition of
His Eye is on the Sparrow
by Civilla
Martin.

Giving up on the mirror, Jonah zipped
her bag close and leaned forward, resting her face on both clasped
hands. His voice hadn’t changed a bit. She mentally
noted.

The boy’s head turned an
inch towards Jonah’s direction and her heart almost leaped through
her throat. However, she kept still.
He
shouldn’t see me at all
…
if he sees me, what will I say?

Jonah felt very different when she was
forcing her way to see him. She had felt the drive. The anger. The
motivation. The obstinacy. But with Xavier just a few steps away,
with no hindrance, Jonah felt like cowering away.

Xavier stopped just as the piano
stopped. From where Jonah was, she could hear a few of the two
boys’ fragmented conversation and their laughter.

"
Can't do it—" Xavier said.

"You—beat—let go—" Dean, the dark
haired boy whom Jonah knew as well, answered.

If he sings again, it will
be my time to leave
…
Then, he won’t notice me at all. Then, I can just call him to
meet up some other time. WHEN I AM READY.
Jonah reflected, planning her hopefully undetected exit. While
waiting to hear his voice again, she observed him from a
far.

His contours seemed on the
leaner—in fact thinner side. Jonah examined. The light overhead
reflected brightly through his face, making it even looked lighter
from afar. His face…the cheekbones were a little bit prominent. And
his skin—definitely needed a lot of color.
Well, he is still nice to look at…
Jonah concluded.

A movement from the corner of Jonah's
eye made her looked away from Xavier. It was an old woman with a
four-footed standard walker. The woman left her walker in the aisle
and clumsily held out her hand to Jonah for assistance as she
squeezed herself to get seated in the long bench.

Jonah stood up and took the old woman’s
hand and guided her to her seat.

"Thank you," the old woman uttered. As
if she was in a trance, she did not let go off Jonah’s
hand.

When Jonah heard Xavier's voice again,
she decided it was time for her exit. Without noticing, the old
woman was still holding on to Jonah's hand. The woman was allowing
herself to be dragged as Jonah backed off towards the other end of
the bench.

The other boy abruptly tapped on a
piano key for a beat which drew Jonah’s attention back to the
altar. And when she looked towards the brunette by the piano, their
eyes locked and there was a moment of hesitation from both of them.
Then, recognition came.

For a split second, Jonah
felt panicky.
Dean had seen me. And it
won’t be long before
… She saw him trying to
shield his eyes with his hand as if he was making it certain it was
really her. Then, to her horror he held his hand up in a wave which
made Xavier looked in her direction.

"Jonah?" Dean asked. "Is that
you?"

Jonah looked back at the old woman and
hurriedly said, "You’re welcome!" It was the only time she noticed
that the woman had not released her grip yet making her panicky all
the more. She thought if she carelessly run outside, the old woman
would certainly fall off and she couldn’t bear to think of it.
However, it was also to her detriment because the very last person
she wanted to see at the moment was on his way towards
her.

"Thank you," the woman said again. This
time, her eyes were beginning to reveal a few tears brimming on the
edges. "Thank you! For years, I shake and can't walk properly.
Now—What a gift—. Thank you! I—you healed me. You are a—" She was
not able to finish what she was going to say as she began to cry
loudly.

Jonah's mouth dropped open. Did she
just do something strange to the old woman? What was it Aunt Judith
said about healers? She hadn't paid much attention to it when Aunt
Judith told all of them that their mother was a great healer and
they were searching for the next healer in line. She vaguely
recalled her Aunt Judith saying something about healing powers
being passed on to Rebecca's murderer.

SHE WAS NO MURDERER. SHE WAS
NO HEALER…How was it possible? The old woman couldn't really be
sick. She was probably senile and imagining things. Jonah couldn't
have cured her of anything. She peered over the old woman's
shoulder and saw the walker.
I didn't make
the woman walk, did I?

There was no time to ponder about
things. And there was nothing else Jonah was able to say. She was
not thinking straight anymore. She pried her fingers from the old
woman with her free hand and began her exit. All the while she was
nodding with a half-frozen smile plastered on her face at the old
woman.

Horrified, Jonah thought fast. It was
beyond her hair or the way she looked or not being ready to face
Xavier. It was the fear of explaining about the old woman and what
happened to her. With a few quick steps, she knew she will make it
out of the church in no time at all. She slid sideway past the
long, narrow bench, cussing silently why she did not choose to
occupy the space closest to the door.

Jonah had almost reached the aisle
towards her safety outside when she heard Xavier calling out to
her, "Jonah, wait up!"