Meant to Be (3 page)

I've spent this week doing “normal” things, trying to act as if everything is just fine and I'm not the least bit worried about Mom. It was hard at first, and I found myself wanting to make up excuses just to hang out at home and stay close to Mom. But then I'd remind myself of the promise I'd made her at Rafael's, and because of that, I went ahead and forced myself to do regular stuff with my friends.

On Tuesday, I went ice skating with Matthew, and it was really pretty fun. He fell down about a zillion times, and I was certain he was going to break something before we were done. But he finally got the hang of it and actually liked it. We re going to go again next week, maybe invite some friends.

But the whole while I was skating with Matthew and mostly enjoying myself, I had this nagging guilty
feeling…like I shouldn't be having so much fun or I should leave and go home to be with my mom. And I suppose that took some of the fun out of the day. But when I got home, my mom was just fine, and she seemed really glad that I'd had a fun day. And Matthew came in and visited and chowed down about a dozen Christmas cookies, and everything felt almost normal.

As the week progressed, it became easier to go and do regular stuff, but there's always this underlying feeling that something's wrong. Like I shouldn't be out having a good time. Then I remember my promise.

“Did you get Matthew anything for Christmas?” my mom asked me last night.

Now for some reason this idea hadn't even crossed my mind. I mean, I like Matthew, and we've sort of been dating, although it s not serious. But suddenly I wondered if I should've gotten him something. And if so, what?

“No,” I told my mom, acting like it was no big deal. “We're mostly just friends, you know.”

She nodded as if she understood, but when I went to my room, I immediately called Nat and asked her opinion on the matter.

“I don't know…” she began.

“It's not like we're serious or anything.”

“Yeah. And you might feel stupid if you got him something and he acted all surprised and uncomfortable, like he hadn't gotten you anything.”

I considered this. “That would be pretty embarrassing.”

“On the other hand.

“What if he got me something?”

“Yeah,” she said. “That could be awkward.”

“Maybe I should get a kind of back-up gift in case he does get me something,” I said. “Then I could pull it out and look like I had it together too.”

“But you wouldn't have to give it to him if he didn't get you anything.”

“Right.”

“The back-up gift,” Nat said in a dramatic tone.

“You sound like a ‘Seinfeld’ character,” I teased.

So that's why Nat and I made the fateful decision to hit the mall just two days before Christmas. And man, was the place packed! When we walked past Dolman's, I couldn't help but spill the beans on what my mom had gotten for Christmas.

“No way,” said Nat. “You're getting diamond earrings?”

“Well, I'm not positively sure. But there's a pretty good chance.”

“You are so lucky.” Then a shadow crossed her face, as if she'd suddenly remembered about my mom's cancer. But fortunately she didn't mention it, and I told her about the pocket watch for my dad.

“That's so romantic.”

“So what should I get for Matthew?” I looked both ways down the crowded mall.

“What does he like?”

I shrugged. “I guess I really don't know him that well.
Other than art. Oh, he likes science fiction books, but I have no idea which ones he's read. And I know what music groups he likes, but I don't know what CDs he has. Plus he thinks he's getting an MP3 player for Christmas.”

“How about some art stuff?”

“Yeah. And I could get something that I like just in case I don't need the back-up gift.”

“Or else save the receipt and bring it back later.”

“Great plan, Nat.”

So it is that I get Matthew a sketch pad, some charcoal, pencils, and a few other things. He probably has stuff like this already, but I figured it was something he could use eventually since these things run out.

“What did you get your mom for Christmas?” Nat asked when we stopped to get drinks.

“I kind of splurged,” I admitted. An understatement since most of my Christmas shopping money went for this one gift.

“What?” she demanded.

“Cashmere.”

“No way!”

I nodded. “Yep. I got her a sweater set at Malones.”

“Wow, she's gonna love it. What color?”

“It's kind of a periwinkle.”

“Very cool.”

I didn't tell Nat that this meant I had to skimp on her gift this year. But I have a feeling she'll understand. Besides, she's been saying that she wanted a photo
album, and I even put a few old pictures of her and me in it. Hopefully that will make up for it. And in a way its probably a good thing, since I know how strapped Nat s been lately. She barely had enough money to get her own family anything for Christmas this year. She'd been hoping her dad would send her some money, but as usual he flaked out on her.

“Hey, isn't that Chloe Miller over there?” Nat said just as I was finishing up my soda.

I glanced over my shoulder to see that she was right. And there were Affie and Laura too. We hollered and waved then hurried over to see our famous friends.

“We just got back from our Christmas tour last night,” Chloe said. “Man, it's so great to be home! How are you guys anyway?”

“We're doing great,” said Natalie. “It's so totally cool to see you here today.”

“I can't believe you decided to fight the crowds at the mall on your first day back home,” I said. “If I were you, I'd be home sleeping.”

“We had to do some last-minute Christmas shopping.” Affie held up several bulging bags.

“How was your tour?” I asked.

“Awesome,” Laura said, and then all three of them started telling us about where they'd been and the bands that had performed with them, including Iron Cross, which was actually pretty impressive.

“What a life!” Nat said dreamily.

“Maybe we should become their groupies,” I teased
her. “We could follow Redemption all over the country and—”

“That'd be like so totally nuts!” said Affie.

“Yeah,” Chloe agreed. “Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to be on the road like that? I mean, parts of it are fun, but there are times when we all would give anything to sleep for a few days.”

We talked some more, but I could tell these girls were itching to finish up their shopping, and then they probably wanted to go home to rest. In fact, they all seemed pretty worn out, and Affie had these dark circles beneath her eyes, which got me worried that she might be sick again. She had a pretty hard case of mono last fall, and I wonder if she's really over it yet.

“We should let you guys go,” I told them.

“Will we see you at church tomorrow night?” asked Chloe.

“I'm not sure,” I admitted. “I mean, I'd really like to be at Faith Fellowship on Christmas Eve, but I should probably go to the service at my parents’ church this year.”

Then Chloe s face got serious, and she put her hand on my arm. “Oh, Kim, I just remembered. I was so sorry to hear about your mom. Josh e-mailed me about it a couple weeks ago. That's got to be so tough.”

“But we've all been praying for her,” Laura said hopefully.

“Thanks,” I told them. “We're all praying for a miracle.”

“God can do it,” Affie assured me. “He can do
anything, Kim. We just gotta believe Him.” Then we all hugged and went our different ways.

“Those girls are so cool,” Nat said as we headed toward the parking lot. “I mean, here they are all rich and famous, and they still just act like regular girls. Just ordinary people like us.”

“Yeah, they're pretty cool.”

And once we were in my Jeep, I played Redemption's latest CD, and Nat and I listened to it all the way home. They really are good!

“We're heading to my grandma's first thing in the morning,” Nat told me when I stopped in front of her house to let her out. “So I probably won't see you until later next week.”

“Have a good time,” I told her, although she was frowning, and I realized how she really wasn't looking forward to this trip. Her grandma and mom get into it sometimes, and I've heard their family gatherings can get kind of stressful.

“Well, at least Gram has a computer now.” She reached for her purse. “Maybe I can e-mail you all the gory details.”

I laughed. “Yeah, keep me posted. Merry Christmas!”

“Yeah, back at you!” she yelled as she closed the door and headed up the driveway where her little brother Micah was trying to skateboard but looked more like an accident waiting to happen.

So I reminded myself to pray for Nat and her family as I drove down the street toward my house. I mean,
she's been praying for my mom to get well on a daily basis, but it hardly ever occurs to me to be praying for them, and I know that they have it pretty tough.

I was kind of glad that Nat and I had already exchanged our gifts, agreeing not to open them until Christmas. Not that I'm embarrassed by what I got her, but I guess it's not as impressive as most years. I hope she understands.

When I got inside, the house was quiet and dark. This worried me some, and I instantly imagined that something was wrong—like maybe Mom got sick and Dad had to take her to the hospital. So I went straight to the kitchen and looked on the counter for a note. But the fact that nothing was there actually concerned me more, like maybe they didn't have time to write a note. I paced around for a while then finally decided to call Dad's cell.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he says calmly, as if everything's just fine.

“Where are you guys?”

“Sorry, Kim. We should've let you know we were going, but I caught your mom off guard this afternoon. I got off work early and came in and swept her away with me. You don't mind, do you?”

I know I should be relieved that everything's okay, but I'm feeling a little irked. “I guess not. But it would've been nice if you left a note.”

He laughs. “Seems like I've heard that one before, Kimmy, but it's usually coming from me or your mom. Guess you know how we feel now.”

“Yeah, right.”

“We'll be back in a half an hour or so. Maybe we'll stop off and get a pizza to bring home. You going to be home tonight? No big dates or anything?”

I laugh sarcastically. “No, Dad, no big dates.”

“Got your New Year's column all ready to go yet?”

“That's not due until Tuesday,” I remind him.

“But we might be out of town,” he says in a mysterious voice.

“Out of town?”

“Yeah, we'll tell you more when we get home. In the meantime, you might want to get your New Year's column done just in case.”

So I go up to my computer and pull up several letters that might possibly be answered in a way that pertains to New Year's.

I wonder if kids really listen to the answers in my column or do they just laugh and continue doing what they want? And that's when it occurs to me that I should be praying for these kids. Okay, I don't know their real names, but I suspect that God would understand that.

So I start making a prayer list, and I decide to include not only the kids who get their letters answered in my column, but the other ones too. I put down Nat's family and a few other kids from school, like Marissa and even Matthew since he's not a Christian yet. And suddenly I'm thinking that this is kind of exciting! Of course, I will probably still spend most of my prayer time asking God to heal my mom, but it might be good to be thinking about all these others as well.