Meant to Be (7 page)

I take in a deep breath and literally bite my tongue to keep from saying something I might regret.

“Don't get all offended,” she says quickly. “I'm only telling you this because I love you, Kim. I don't want to see you get hurt. And I really don't want to see you falling away from the Lord.”

“Sorry, I can't give you a ride home,” I say in a flat voice.

“That's okay,” she says lightly “I'll ask Cesar for a lift.”

Poor Cesar, I'm thinking as I wait for Matthew to meet me after school. I mean, Natalie still has this huge “secret” crush on him. And Cesar is still committed to not dating. And in all fairness, Nat is pretty good-looking. I wonder if it's tough for him to be around her when she's practically throwing herself at him. Okay, she's not throwing herself. Nat's got more class than that. Marissa's the one who throws herself at him.

“Hey, Kim,” says Matthew. “Ready to roll?”

I smile at him and wonder why Nat insists on making such a big deal about him being a “non-Christian” and who came up with that word anyway? And I gotta ask myself, what would Jesus do?

I already know that Matthew went to Robert's New Year's Eve party but also that he got disgusted and left. And he actually admitted that he was tempted to stop by the skating rink and that he would've if I'd been there. But he felt uncomfortable showing up at a church party on his own.

“They would've made you feel welcome,” I had assured him. “And Cesar would've been there…” But he wasn't convinced. At the time I was tempted to tell him about what I did on New Year's Eve, but somehow I just couldn't bring myself to admit to being such an idiot.

However, as I'm driving into the city, I decide that it's time to come clean with someone. Maybe it has to do
with my conversation with Nat and feeling like I'm a bit of a hypocrite, but I decide to just spill the beans with Matthew.

“No way!” he practically yells after I finish my little tale.

I nod without looking at him. “And it's not like I'm proud of myself. In fact, I'm really feeling—”

“I cannot believe you did that, Kim, especially after the way you raked me over the coals just for considering going to Robert's party.”

“Raked you over the coals?”

“Well, you were pretty adamant about me not going.”

“I just didn't think it was a good idea. I don't think—”

“But it's okay for you to go out partying with a bunch of college kids who you don't even know. And then to drink—”

“I didn't know there was anything in the cocoa,” I tell him again.

“Peppermint Schnapps,” he says.

“Huh?”

“That's what they put in your drink. Some people call it a Peppermint Patty.”

“Oh…”

Now he pats me on the shoulder. “It's okay, Kim. I'm not trying to get down on you. In fact, I think it's kind of cool that you stepped out of your little shell.”

“My little shell?”

“You know, the little Christian protective shell that some—”

“I don't have a Christian protective shell!”

“Hey, don't get mad. You're not as bad as Natalie. She wears hers like it's a superman cloak that will protect her from everything.”

“Do you really see it like that?”

“Kind of…”

“I'm surprised you'd want to go on the snow trip retreat then.”

“Well, I'm hoping the boarding will be good. Besides, you're going.” He playfully pokes me in the arm now, and I'm not sure how to respond. Between Matthew and Natalie, I'm feeling a little confused. “And Cesar's going too,” he adds. “And I think he's an okay guy.”

“Really?” For some reason this gives me hope.

“Oh, he's a little uptight when it comes to chicks. But you gotta respect him for sticking to his convictions. I'm sure it's not easy”

“So, have you lost respect for me?” I ask in a weak voice. “I mean, because of going to that party? Do you think I'm a hypocrite?”

“Not at all. I guess I think you're still trying to figure some things out, Kim. And I actually respect you because you're honest about it. You didn't have to tell me, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“It's those Christians who act like they're all perfect that bug me. At least you're not like that.”

“Thanks, I think…” Suddenly I'm remembering things that Maggie said to me, and I'm feeling pretty uncomfortable.

“Have you ever seen that movie ‘Saved’?”

“I've heard of it, but I've never seen it.”

“You should rent it sometime. Maybe invite Natalie over to watch it with you.” Then he kind of laughs. “Just don't tell her the title, or she might flip out.”

Before long were downtown, and I'm looking for a place to park near the snowboard shop. I'm not sure why, but I feel a little better now that I told Matthew about blowing it. And it's not because he was okay with it as much as I felt I owed it to him, especially after being so down on him about the possibility of going to Robert's party. And I suppose, like they say, confession really is good for the soul.

We look at lots and lots of snowboards, and the sales guy is really pretty helpful and knowledgeable. But talk about an information overload. After a while I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed, plus most of the ones he's shown us are way out of my ballpark.

“It's not like I need the best board out there,” I finally say “I mean, I'm still just a beginner. The girl I hung with last week suggested I get a Lamar. Do you have any of those?”

He scratches his head. “As a matter of fact, I just got one returned. It was a Christmas present, but the girls mom said ‘no way.’ Her daughter was like twelve, and the dad had gotten it, but the mom thought she was too young to take up snowboarding. Of course, we thought that was totally bogus. I mean, I know kids who aren't even school aged who tear up the slopes on their
boards. Anyway, she brought back a Lamar Fascination, and it's all set for someone just about your size.”

Okay, it's kind of insulting that he thinks I'm the size of a twelve-year-old, but then I can't really argue with him either since it's probably true. “Can I see the board?”

He goes into the back and emerges with a blue snowboard and a pair of boots. “These boots are pretty small. Women's size six,” he says a bit tentatively, and I actually clap my hands.

“I wear a six!”

Within seconds I have on the boots, am clamped onto the snowboard which has some very cool graphics and great shades of blue, and am trying it out on this shag carpet-covered box they've designed specifically for this purpose. As far as I can tell it's perfect, but I don't want to let on. I sit back down to remove the boots and then look up at the salesman.

“I don't have a lot to spend on this,” I say slowly. “I'm guessing it's going to be too much.”

“Well, this board retails at about three hundred dollars.”

I firmly shake my head. “No way,” I say sadly. “I can't afford—”

“Wait a minute. I'm trying to make you a deal here. Because of the return and the fact that this pretty much needs to be sold as a package, we can give it to you for quite a bit less. Let me go talk to my boss.”

So he leaves for a while, and Matthew assures me that they should give me a good deal. “They'd have a
hard time finding anyone who fits that board package the way its set up now. It's reafly in their best interest to make you happy and get rid of it while they can.”

“Do you know that I actually prayed about this?” I suddenly tell him. “Just as we were walking into the store, I shot up this quick silent prayer that God would help me find the perfect snowboard, or else that I'd simply forget about the whole thing and just rent one during snow camp.”

“Well, that Lamar looks about perfect for you.”

After a couple of minutes, the manager comes back out with the sales guy and tells me I can take the entire package off their hands for a mere $150.1 try not to act too surprised. But I do thank him—several times in fact. Then I ask the salesman to help me find a good helmet. “I promised my dad that I'd get one,” I explain to him and Matthew.

“I can't believe it,” I say as Matthew helps me carry the stuff to my Jeep. “It was like a real live miracle.”

“I'm surprised to hear myself saying this, Kim, but I gotta agree with you there. That whole package would've been close to five hundred dollars at regular price. I mean, I know they give good deals, but that was a total steal!”

“God IS good!” I shout as I unlock the Jeep.

He laughs and carefully slides my new board into the back of my car. “Well, at least He's good to you, Kim.”

I'm so excited about the snow retreat! And here's the latest greatest news—Natalie is coming too! She was feeling bad during lunch yesterday. We were all sitting there talking about how cool it was going to be, and she was really wishing that her church would have a ski trip.

“I don't see why anyone would want to go to any kind of church camp,” said Marissa. “I was forced to go to one once, and I swore that I'd never do that again.…

“And you've been swearing ever since too,” Jake added with a grin.

“Maybe it's time you tried it again, Marissa,” said Chloe. “According to my brother, Josh, this one is supposed to be really good.” But Marissa looked unconvinced.

“And you and Affie are both going too?” Nat said with a longing voice. She still acts a little bit like a groupie
sometimes when it comes to Chloe's band.

“Yeah. It's the last fun thing we get to do before we go back on tour.”

“Man, I wish I could go.” Nat sighed.

“Why don't you just come along,” suggested Cesar. “It's not like you have to belong to our church. Josh, our youth pastor, said we can invite anyone we want.”

“And Matthew's coming,” I reminded her.

“Yeah,” said Matthew. “And I don't go to church anywhere.”

Marissa dramatically rolled her eyes and stood up. “You guys make me wanna hurl.” She looked directly at Matthew. “I don't know how you can stand it for a whole weekend.”

Fortunately Matthew seemed to ignore her. But I must admit to being a little worried about how he'd react to being cooped up with a bunch of Christians for that long.

Nat told Cesar that she'd think about it, but when she and I were alone, she admitted to me that she couldn't afford it anyway. “Especially after Christmas,” she said. “I'm pretty much broke, and Mom's in debt up to her eyeballs. Youshould've seen the stuff she got for us kids. She knew our dad wasn't going to do anything for anyone, so she maxed out her credit cards. It'll probably take her a whole year just to catch up.”

“That's too bad,” I told her, but by then it was time to go our separate ways. Then, seeing Cesar on my way into chemistry, I got an idea.

“Hey, Cesar,” I said in a lowered voice. “Do you think Faith Fellowship ever offers scholarships for kids to go to things like snow camp?”

“You mean for Natalie?”

I nodded.

“I could talk to Josh.”

“I might be able to contribute a little,” I told him.

’Til get back to you on it.”

And as it turned out, they do have a “scholarship” fund. Cesar, Jake, and I all contributed to it, and an “unknown benefactor” covered the rest. At first Nat was a little embarrassed about being a “charity case,” but then I reminded her that God is the one who should be credited for this. “You wouldn't want to push His gift away, would you?” So it's set—she's going!

My new snowboard is leaning up against the wall in my bedroom, and I'm just itching to get out there on it. But I must admit that I felt a little guilty when I realized that Nat doesn't even have a board. I considered loaning her my skis, but they'd be way too small. And she doesn't know how to ski or snowboard for that matter. But then I heard that a lot of the kids, including Cesar, are going to be tubing anyway So my guess is she'll be okay with that. I just hope she's not going on this retreat in an attempt to hook up with Cesar. That would be so totally stupid.

Sometimes it does seem unfair that Nat's family is struggling so hard. Her mom trying to support three kids while the dad is God only knows where. He never sends
them a penny. And then here I am an only child, and my parents, though not rich, are very generous to me. Not for the first time, I'm thinking that I need to learn to be more generous. I guess I should ask God to show me ways that I can do that.

In the meantime I want to get a couple of letters done for next week s column. The first one I read has to do with giving, and I think it might do me good to answer it.

Wow, talk about your run-on sentences and total lack of punctuation. But this guy is actually making a pretty good point here. And so once again, I'm going to do some research on the Internet and see what I can come up with.