Meant To Be (18 page)

“Yes, Jenna, and I think I’m looking forward to it as much as you are. Promise me that you’ll keep me updated on all of the good stuff though.”

“I promise.”

It was a playful warning coming from her best friend, not wanting Jenna to skip out on the details. Sam was a true believer, and for that Jenna was thankful. They were on a countdown, especially now. Because of that, it seemed to be the longest winter and spring that she could ever remember.

The anticipation of going on her trip and her enjoyment finding happiness again were interrupted by Tyler’s gradual distance. Since his last confession and their confrontation at Jayden’s birthday, he seemed to avoid them. Unfortunately, it was Jayden who suffered the most from it. He was able to see him three weeks later for a few hours, and then three weeks turned into a couple months without a word.

Jenna had given him enough space, and she wasn’t sure what to do. Jayden’s hurt eventually turned into anger, and then finally into a numbness, and then it was like he didn’t care anymore. All if it was hard for her to witness, and the time had come for a wakeup call. She tried her best to keep it all together, but Jayden’s hurt, hurt her. She was angry and couldn’t contain herself anymore. She was mad, and it was time to let some of it out.

She showed up just as Tyler was about to finish work. Alex was on leave, being due in only a few short weeks, and this was the only way she figured to get him alone.

“Did I come at a bad time?” she asked after letting herself inside his office. Not waiting for him to answer, she closed the door.

To look at him, she guessed he was having a bad day, but she didn’t care. Whether he wanted this or not, she was confronting this situation. Jayden deserved better.

“I was wondering how long it was going to take for you to show up.” He cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable and then had the nerve to smile.

“This is not a game,” she snapped, narrowing her eyes at him. “This is about our son and why he doesn’t seem to matter all of a sudden.”

His expression harden, and she could instantly tell that she’d hit a nerve. “He matters,” he snapped back. “Don’t ever imply that he doesn’t.”

She laughed humorlessly. “Then please enlighten me, why don’t you? You have seen him all of three times in the last four months, Tyler. How is that sufficient?” She couldn’t believe it, and impatiently awaited an excuse that was legitimate enough to justify his absence.

He slammed a book on his desk and leaned forward so that they were almost touching, just staring at her in silence.

She refused to break eye contact with him. She wanted answers and hated that he made everything about him. She was leaving to go on her trip soon and hoped to get this all resolved before she did.

“
Tyler, I didn’t come here to fight with you.” Okay, well that was her initial intention, but once she was actually face to face with him, she just couldn’t. Despite it all, she still had strong feelings for him and probably always would. Damn, that realization sucked, and she almost winced thinking about it. Tyler had hurt her badly, but this was about Jayden. She forced herself to stay focused.

“Then why did you come?” he asked, looking down at her mouth and back up to her eyes before she took a step away from him.

“I came to see what’s going on with you. I came because I wanted to know if you were okay and most importantly, I came hoping that I could salvage the relationship that you have with our son.”

She exhaled loudly as if she’d been holding her breath. Man, she thought she might lose it a second ago and was pretty sure that if she hadn’t taken a step backward, Tyler would have kissed her. Then nothing would have been accomplished. It would have been bad, really, really bad.

He laughed suddenly, hysterically, making Jenna smile. Raking his fingers through his thick head of hair, he finally said, “I’m sorry Jenna. It’s just been work, hectic and as crazy as ever. Alex is driving me nuts. She complains all the time. We’ve been getting ready for the baby and all of that fun stuff.” He paused for a second before continuing. “And I’ve been selfish, which is not a good enough excuse at all. Last time we made everything so final, and I hadn’t believed until then that you were never going to take me back. Since then it’s been hard for me to be around you.”

Hearing about the baby still hurt, but to hear that it was hard for him to be around her was something else all together. She was shocked. “So avoiding our son was because you were trying to avoid me?” She had to be sure that she understood this idiocy properly. “Because if that is the case, then you’re definitely right, but I could also think of a few other words to call you besides selfish.”

Her temper was about to get the best of her. He smiled again putting more fuel on the already ignited flame inside of her.

“
I’m sure you could,” he teased.

Typical Tyler, trying to make everything out to be a joke. “You’re not funny, Tyler, and if you know what’s good for you—” she snapped with her hands rolled into fists at her sides, but he interrupted.

“
It’s over. I get it now, but I don’t have to like it.”

She could feel another argument coming on and sighed heavily, really tired of it all.

“
But you’re also right,” he continued. “My actions have been inexcusable, and I promise to make some more time for him. Maybe one day we could work on you and I being friends again.”

“I think I’d like that,” she said and decided that now was a good time to make her exit before he pushed her buttons again. “He’ll be around for another couple of weeks so now is as good a time as any to spend time with him. Then he’ll be at my parents for his annual vacation with his Poppa.” She smiled with her hand on the door, hoping that he’d spend more time with Jayden.

“Ah, your trip to Ireland.” he said.

Jenna decided the best way to answer was with a smile. “Goodbye, Tyler. I really hope to see you around.”

She’d done the best that she could to try to figure him out. It was up to him now to make an effort to be a part of his son’s life. It was time to grow up. Just as Jenna began to get herself together, things seemed to get worse for Tyler, but she couldn’t feel any pity. All that she could think of at the time was:
welcome to my world
. The worst part about it was that it was the reality that he chose to live when he chose to be with Alex.

Jenna was more ready than ever to move on with her life.

Chapter Sixteen

Her confrontation with Tyler seemed to work for the first week in prodding him into making the effort he should have all along to be with Jayden. He saw him almost every day, and it was almost like old times. Unfortunately, it didn’t last very long. The following week he saw him only once, and hadn’t even bothered to call to say goodbye or wish him well before Jayden went to his grandparents for the summer.

Jenna later found out that Alex had had the baby. It was Tyler’s last distraction from his son, and she understood. It just would have been nice, though, if he’d included Jayden by allowing him to meet his new sister, but kept that to herself. Her conclusion was that maybe they were better off, no matter how harsh that sounded.

Tyler had created a new life that carried nothing but hurt and disappointment as far as they were concerned. Although her door would always be open, she just knew that he didn’t plan on using it anymore.

* * * *

She was alone and all packed. Jayden had left for his summer vacation that afternoon. It was an emotional goodbye for Jenna this time, not ever being away from him for that long, willingly anyway. The last time would have been after the accident, but that hadn’t counted because she was out of it and in her own little reality.

She couldn’t sleep. Her nerves were getting the best of her, and she figured that if she slept on the plane it would make her trip seem shorter. Anything to get there faster, so she sat there fantasizing about Brady and what she would say if she saw him in real life, wondering if she’d be nervous or not. Who was she kidding? Of course, she would be. She’d have the urge to touch him, to make sure it wasn’t a dream and smiled thinking about it, knowing that Sam planned to set her up with him anyway, and looked forward to the possibility of a short term fling.

It’d been about a year and a half that she’d been alone already and about the same amount of time since she had sex. She missed it, and not just the sex but the romance of having someone love her the right way, the way she deserved to be loved. Someone to cuddle with and be there for her, as well, although she had to admit the sex was something to look forward to. Substitutes just weren’t the same, and when it’d been awhile it was hard not to think of it.

She decided to get comfortable, needing some type of release. Her fingers travelled down her body. One hand was rubbing and tweaking at a nipple, while the other slid inside of her shorts.

“
Hmm,” she moaned, already wet with need.

She lifted her hips up, circling her budding nub while picturing a warm wet tongue there. This mouth would be talented and know what she liked, hitting just the right spots, the wet warm tongue tasting every inch of her, making her breath rapid. Release was so close, her excitement building into high depths, and she moaned again.

“Jenna.”

Holy shit was someone just calling her name? Or was it her overactive imagination? Please, not now.

“Jenna, are you up there?”

“Shit,” she whispered, halting her playtime. “Ya, Sam, I’m in my room. I’ll be down in a minute.” Sighing she covered her face to try to calm down before she went downstairs. She met Sam in the kitchen.

“I couldn’t sleep, and I saw your light on so I came over,” Sam told her.

Jenna smiled. “Me either, I’m just too excited.”
Literally and figuratively
. “I feel nervous and excited at the same time, but it also feels so surreal right now, you know? I’ve waited to go for so long now, and I just want to be there already.”

Sam looked like a kid on Christmas morning. “I know.” She screeched, “
Eeee,
I can’t believe it. In just a few short hours, we’ll be on the plane and on our way. I haven’t been this excited for a long time.”

Jenna laughed. Glad that it wasn’t just her feeling that way but sighed afterward. “I seriously have to stop drinking this coffee,” she said pushing her cup aside. “I’ll never get to sleep if I don’t.” She needed to come down from the high for a bit, but it was easier said than done.

“All right, that’s my cue to go. We really should get some sleep,” Sam advised, looking bug eyed and ready to jump off the walls. “Thanks for the coffee and I’ll see you in the morning.”

Hugging Sam, Jenna laughed again. “We’ll at least try to sleep, although you look like you’ve drank about ten pots already.”

“Very funny,” Sam mocked. “I’d say the same for you, and I did say that we should get some sleep, not that I was going to.” She winked. “I’ll see you in a few hours, Jenna. I’m going to go home and count some sheep now.”

* * * *

In theory, counting sheep didn’t sound that bad, but it never worked. Her bags were packed and readily available by the door. Her clothes were laid out, and the alarm was set to make sure that she wouldn’t sleep in. That is if she actually was able to fall asleep. Crawling into bed, she forced herself to relax. With eyes closed, she thought of only happy things.

She was in bed with someone cuddling close, and she reveled in the sense of security having someone beside her gave.

She could feel his excitement against her leg.

“Is it bad that I’m not sure I want to wake up?” Jenna whispered, and he adjusted himself so he could get a better look at her.

Smiling, he traced her lips with his finger before he kissed her. He gave her the look that took her breath away, he examined her and then laughed. “God, I want ye, Jenna.”