Authors: Nancy Straight
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Unlock my memories of what? I don’t understand. How would I have memories of us from before we met? What all did she tell you?”
I relayed a condensed version of both conversations to Max. I didn’t think no matter how amazing he was, that Max could stand to hear that he was my soul mate on day two of our relationship, so I edited that part out. He nodded enthusiastically when I told him about the different roles each of us has.
I shared with him what Rewsna had said about Seth and how he had confused his role with me, which made Max laugh. “Lauren, you can’t blame him for trying. I can’t imagine another person on earth that would hold a candle to you; maybe neither can Seth. If I were in his shoes, I’d probably rail against the powers of the universe as well.”
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That’s just it, everything she said made perfect sense. Someone committing to the wrong person doesn’t make the world come to an end, it just makes them miserable. She talked how people weren’t seeking out the people they were supposed to be with.”
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So this Rewsna told you we were supposed to be together?” I could feel his eyes on me, but I was too nervous to look at his expression. I wasn’t sure if I could take another rejection from Max, and I knew that if he didn’t believe what I knew to be the truth, it would feel like a rejection. Rather than answer his question, I tried to make light of it, “
I
said we’re supposed to be together; Rewsna said I should try to unlock your memories.”
Max ran his fingers through my hair. We were both sitting on the couch. “I don’t know. I don’t know how I can have memories for you to unlock if we’ve only just met?”
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But you said I was familiar that night in the ambulance. What was familiar about me?”
Max looked puzzled, “I don’t know, I guess your eyes.”
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When we talked in the ambulance, what’d we talk about?”
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You mainly just kept asking me to come with you. That’d never happened before. And then your heart just stopped.”
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Then what?”
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Lauren – your heart stopped. There wasn’t much conversation after that.”
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So the only reason you came and checked on me in the hospital was…?”
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I wanted to see you were okay. I wasn’t expecting… I’m exhausted and I’ve only got a few hours before I’ve got to go to work.” I could tell he had purposely changed subjects. He pulled me in front of him on the couch, wrapping his arms around me. “Maybe if I sleep with you in my arms, my mind won’t be so distracted.”
What wasn’t he expecting? I was teetering on the verge of sleep when he whispered into my ear, “I didn’t think it was possible to feel this way about someone I hardly know.”
Feel what way? Should I push my luck and ask him how he feels? There was no doubt in my mind, this was where I was supposed to be. Max completed me. I hadn’t been tired when I arrived, but his sweet words felt like a lullaby and I quickly fell asleep. Maybe my day had been more tiring than I realized.
I woke up to a note on the coffee table. It was dark outside, Max was gone, and I was alone. I picked up the note and read the words Max had left me.
Dear Lauren,
I couldn’t wake you up, you looked too peaceful. I phoned your parents and told them you were asleep on my couch. The keys for my truck are on the kitchen counter, you can take it home. Your mom did tell me that the television crews were relentless and she recommended you stay. I would love to come home tomorrow and see you here.
Love, Max
I stared at the, “Love Max,” and I felt giddy. I somehow wished I could hear him say it, but reading it was a thrill, too.
I looked at the clock across the room. It was barely nine p.m. on a Sunday, and classes were suspended tomorrow – some quarterly staff meeting for the faculty. I began replaying my meeting with Rewsna. It was clear that I was Rachael’s protector. Without Rewsna even mentioning it to me, the events of today made it very clear. The way my body reacted to danger had to be uncommon. I rarely feel the prickly feeling on my neck, but today it felt like thousands of tiny needles protruding from it. I couldn’t have ignored it if I had tried.
I’m not anybody else’s protector that I am aware of, maybe Melissa’s? She was definitely in harm’s way, and I got her out of the way before there was any real danger, but the sensation with Melissa was more calculated. Rachael’s admirer elicited concern, not an absolute danger. I tried to do the same thing with Rachael as I had Melissa and just get her away, but Rachael proved to be much more difficult to persuade. Maybe my ability to protect them was directly relative to the amount of danger they were actually in?
Rachael seemed to be so charmed by Paul it was as if all our history was meaningless at the time. If Paul were a temptation for Rachael and not an anarchist, would she have actually been in any real danger? How could I know the difference?
If Paul was a murderer, he was someone’s anarchist, but to Rachael he was merely a temptation. I wonder why? He was definitely trying to impress her with the car, maybe there was something about the car? Would offering her a ride in a stolen car lead to anything? If he wasn’t there to actually hurt her, what was he doing? It seemed as though everyone’s roles had an underlying significance, but I didn’t understand this one. Maybe I didn’t understand because Paul wasn’t one of the souls that was supposed to have an impact on me, so I wasn’t able to get a vibe from him except for what was required to protect Rachael. It sounded strange, but I was at a loss for a more plausible explanation. I needed to talk to Paul to find out what he was trying to do, but how in the world was I going to talk to him?
In my back pocket was a card from Officer Keith Johnson. He told me I could call him for an escort home. I wonder how he’d feel about giving me an escort into jail? Without giving myself enough time to talk myself out of it, I called the number on his card. He answered the phone on the third ring, “This is Johnson.”
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Hi, Officer Johnson, this is Lauren from the mall today” I hoped that his friendliness at the mall wasn’t phony and he really would help me.
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Hi, Lauren,” his tone was very comforting, “is everything all right? Did you give my academy idea any more thought?” He seemed at ease talking to me, and I was hoping his greeting wouldn’t change to irritation when he found out why I was really calling.
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Actually, I’ve been kind of preoccupied all day, but I did want to call and ask you for a favor.”
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Civilians don’t often get a chance to catch a murderer – I understand being preoccupied,” his voice didn’t sound like he was concerned with me, a perfect stranger, asking for a favor. “What kind of favor were you looking for? My supervisor drove by your house earlier to check on you. Your dad told him you were at a friend’s house.”
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I am. Well he’s at work now, and I was going to go home, but before I face my parents, I was wondering about that guy you arrested.”
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Paul Stratford,” Officer Johnson stated the name flatly. In all the news reports I’d seen on television, his name hadn’t been released, so I was pleased that he would so openly share his name with me. It didn’t even require me to press him, so I felt encouraged that he would help arrange a meeting with Paul. “What about him?”
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Is he really a murderer like the news reports are saying?”
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It looks that way from the evidence at the scene and the fact that he was driving the victims car, but he isn’t talking.”
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If I wanted to visit him in jail, how would I do that?”
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Visit him? Why would you want to do that?” His tone was accusatory, as if this was the most absurd thing he had ever heard. I hadn’t thought this call through long enough before hand to come up with a plausible reason for wanting to meet him, at least not one that a normal person would understand.
My pause was significantly longer than it should have been, “I don’t know why I want to talk to him, I just do. Do you know how I’d go about it?”
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Lauren, going to see him is a really bad idea. The City Attorney would have a heart attack if he got wind of this. Besides, you are a key witness against him. Just meeting him and giving him information about yourself puts your life in danger from any number of accomplices he may have.”
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I’m sure he knows exactly who I am. I’ve noticed the news stations are protecting his identity, but my picture shows up every fifteen minutes. I’m not a key witness to anything, other than to him driving a stolen car. I don’t feel like I’m in any real danger; I just feel like I need to talk to him. Will you help me?”
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They aren’t protecting him, Lauren, we didn’t release his name. I don’t mind sharing his name with you for a couple reasons. One, you were instrumental in his capture, and two, you are obviously not a publicity hound. I never even saw you interviewed after the shooting. But meeting with him - it’s a bad idea and no, I can’t help you.”
Nothing. I couldn’t be upset with him, I couldn’t even be annoyed by his protectiveness. Then it occurred to me, maybe he was one of my protectors? Maybe he had more of an impact on me than I was giving him credit for. That’s just silly! Not everyone I run into has a special mission - some are just decent people who don’t want others to get hurt. “If you won’t help me get in to see him, where could I call to get the visitor information, like hours and rules?”
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Lauren, I don’t like this. It’s a bad idea. What can he possibly say to you that you need to hear? That he’s sorry, that he never meant to hurt your friend? Will that make a difference?” Officer Johnson was trying to make sense of my request.
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I just need to talk to him. I obviously foiled whatever plan he had, and it’s going to make me crazy if I can’t at least ask him what that plan was?”
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And you think he’s just going to confess everything to you? You’re as naïve as you are insightful, and that my friend, is a dangerous combination. He isn’t talking to anyone, and if I were him, I can tell you I wouldn’t talk to the person who saw through whatever line of crap I was feeding her friend and suddenly confess my intentions.”
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You still didn’t answer my question. Where do I go to find visitor information? If you don’t help me, I’ll find out on my own.”
He sighed into his receiver, “Well, it isn’t a national secret or anything. Visiting hours are noon until six daily, but if you aren’t one of his approved visitors, the jailer won’t let you in to see him.”
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So if he didn’t put me on the list, who else is authorized to? The Mayor, the City Attorney, maybe the Police Chief has enough pull? I’m sure I could ask one of them and they would be much more willing to help me.” Frustration was evident in my voice although I was trying not to be disrespectful. He had, after all, been very nice to me up until my hair-brained request.
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It is that important to you?”
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Yes, it really is.”
He sighed deeply again, pausing as if contemplating my request, then finally, “I wish I could help, but I could lose my badge.” He lectured me for a couple minutes on the virtues of self-preservation and not tempting fate. I didn’t listen all that closely. After we hung up I tried to run through other possibilities. I had tried to talk tough, but the Mayor, City Attorney and Police Chief couldn’t pick me out of a line-up, so I couldn’t expect a different reaction from them.
Max had a computer. It didn’t look like he had turned it on since he got back to town. I hit the power button and was thrilled to see he had a blank password. I did a few internet searches and got what I was looking for.
I called Paul’s mother, who seemed really nervous when she answered the phone. I told her I was a friend of Paul’s and wanted to visit him in jail, but didn’t know how to get a hold of him to ask him to put me on his list. She told me she would see him tomorrow, and would tell him I called. I told her my name was Rachael Madison. I had found a way to get on the visitor list. I could have given her my name, but after Officer Johnson denying my request, I had to assume he might tell someone that I asked him. As I was feeling pretty smug with myself, I saw that Officer Johnson was calling me back. Crap! How could he have found out so quickly?
I answered, cautiously, “Hello?”
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Hi, Lauren, it’s Keith.”
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Okay, what’s wrong?”
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Nothing, we were going over the case and realized I never got your statement at the mall today. Do you have time to come to the precinct tomorrow for a few minutes?”