Authors: K. J. Parker
Poldarn shook his head. âI'm a great believer in fool's luck,' he said.
She smiled. âI heard someone say once that luck is like a door: you push it, and you get to where you want to be. Nonsense in my opinion, but I thought it might cheer you up. Hello,' she said, âwhy're we slowing down?'
The coachman turned back and said something about a roadblock. Noja's expression changed.
âNot good,' she said. âRoadblocks are only when there's someone particularly dangerous on the loose.'
âI'm flattered,' Poldarn said. He had the sword he'd helped himself to the previous evening, but he really didn't want to get into a fight: it'd spoil everything.
The coach stopped, and a moment or so later a soldier walked up and peered in through the vehicle's window. âSorry,' he said, âbut you've got to go back.'
Poldarn stayed where he was. Noja leaned across him and said, âWhat do you mean? We're going to the honey festival.'
âCancelled.' The soldier looked grave. âSorry, but it's a routine precaution. Quarantine.'
Noja looked as though she didn't know what the word meant. âWhat?'
âThere's been an outbreak of plague,' the soldier said, âin Tulice. It's all right,' he went on, ânobody's saying anything about it having reached this side of the Bay, and all shipping's been stopped, roads in and out of there all sealed, and they're looking for anybody who's known to have arrived from there in the last month. Also, all large public gatherings have been cancelled, and they'll be closing the city gates at midnight tonight; nobody in or out until the risk of infection's over. Apparently it's a nasty strain of plague, but quick; if we can keep it out for a week, we'll be safe. That's it, basically.'
âWonderful,' Noja said, with a slight wobble in her voice, which the soldier would've put down to fear of the plague. âSo what're we supposed to do?'
âYou're from the city, right? Well, best possible thing to do is go straight back there.'
âWhat, and get stuck there when the plague starts? Not likely.'
The soldier shook his head. âSafest place in the Empire, it'll be; that's why they're closing it off. You'll be far more at risk if you stay outside.'
There wasn't any point in arguing; the only way through the roadblock was over the dead body of the soldier and the rest of his outfit, and there wouldn't be any point in going to that extreme, since Tazencius obviously wasn't going to be at Beal anyway. Noja pursed her lips, putting on a scornful expression that reminded Poldarn of Copis. âWonderful,' she repeated. âSo we're going to be locked up in the city for a week. You know how many ships dock at Torcea every
day
?'
The soldier sighed. Clearly he was under orders to be polite to anybody in a posh carriage, and he didn't like it. âLike I said,' he replied, âTorcea's the safest place in the Empire right now. Like, if there was even the slightest danger, would the Emperor be headed there right now?'
âAh.' Noja smiled at him. âThat puts a different complexion on it. If it's safe enough for the Emperor, it must be all right.'
The soldier seemed relieved, if confused, at her reaction. âExactly,' he said. âSo, if you wouldn't mind moving on; it's just that you're blocking the road.'
Back the way they'd so recently come. âDid you believe any of that?' Poldarn asked.
She shook her head. âToo convenient,' she replied. âThere hasn't been plague in the Empire for a hundred years. And starting in Tulice, too. No, someone's worried about something. It's a good excuse for them to close the roads, tell people what to do and have them do it; and really helpful for tracking down new arrivals from Tulice, don't forget. They've
never
had plague in Tulice, as far as I know; it only starts in hot, dry countries and cities, and Tulice is cold, wet and rural.' She sighed again. âSomeone's heard something, and they're looking for you.'
Poldarn nodded. âThat'd make sense, I suppose,' he said. âAnd it sounds like Cleapho may have been found out. If they know about me, they may know about him too.'
âI hadn't thought of that,' Noja said quietly. âMaybe we shouldn't go back to town, then.'
Poldarn shook his head. âThat's where Tazencius is, according to that man,' he replied, âand there's no reason to think he was lying about that. Only question is, can we make it back to Torcea before they close the gates?'
âJust about,' she replied.
âJust about' was right; they arrived as the gates were closing, after a terrifying gallop in the dark that left Poldarn feeling sick and profoundly unhappy, although Noja didn't seem unduly troubled. But she was nearly frantic at the thought of being marooned out in the
country
for a week with only the money she'd brought with her â hardly enough, Poldarn reckoned, to buy a small farm and a flock of sheep.
âYou can't come in,' the gatekeeper told her. âQuarantine. Sorry.'
âFuck you,' Noja replied. It was the wrong approach; the gate slammed, and a bolt rasped in its rings. Noja stood staring for quite a long time before Poldarn could snap her out of it.
âDid you see that?' she whispered, awestruck. âHe just shut the gates in our faces.'
âYou shouldn't have sworn at him,' Poldarn said.
âFuck you, too.'
Poldarn smiled, though it was too dark for her to see. âWe'll just have to find another way in,' he said.
âAnother way in? Are you out of your mind, or just ignorant? This is
Torcea
: the walls are twenty feet high and ten feet thick. Your friends from the foundry and the Poldarn's Flutes couldn't get us in there.'
âI wasn't thinking of digging a tunnel,' Poldarn replied mildly. âI was thinking more of getting arrested.'
âGetting â what did you say?' But he'd already walked away, looking for something. In the dark, this took him a little while, but eventually he came back to where Noja was standing, holding something heavy in both hands. âWhat've you got there?' she said irritably.
âA large rock,' Poldarn replied, as if it was something no well-dressed man would leave home without. âI think it's some kind of milestone or boundary marker; took a lot of pushing and shoving to get it out of the ground. Could be a gravestone, but who buries people next to the road?'
âWhat do you want with aâ?' He answered her question by swinging the rock with all his strength at the wicket door in the gate. âYou're crazy,' she said. âYou can't break that down. It's bloody great thick oak planks.'
âI don't need to,' Poldarn grunted, and bashed the door again. Half a dozen bashes later, the door swung inwards, and four soldiers burst out in a blaze of yellow light. âSee you later,' Poldarn called back, as they grabbed him and dragged him inside.
They weren't pleased, particularly when he admitted he'd only been bashing on the gate because he'd missed the curfew and wanted to get inside; they clearly felt he'd abused their good nature by forcing them to arrest him. âIt's a night in the cells for you,' they growled.
Poldarn smiled. âFine,' he said.
âThen you can explain yourself to the magistrate in the morning.'
Poldarn shrugged. âWhatever,' he replied. âBeats dying of plague, anyway.'
Two crows sitting in a tall thin tree
â The song, still there, like an arrowhead that has to be left in the wound because getting it out would be too dangerous. But this didn't look like the sort of place where he could reasonably expect to find lost lines from old songs, so he looked about him instead.
At first, he thought he was alone in the cell; but, as his eyes grew accustomed to the faint light of the oil lamp that they'd been kind enough to leave behind, he saw that there was someone else in there with him, a small bundle sitting in the corner, looking sad. He assumed it was asleep, but it spoke.
âWho's there?' A woman's voice, elderly; an aunt, or the little old lady who lives on her own and keeps cats. Poldarn recognised her at once.
âYou again,' he said. âI thought I told you to stay out of trouble.'
She sighed. âI did try,' she said. âAnd it was all going so well. I found a very nice man who said he'd take me across the Bay, for a very reasonable fare; but it turned out he wasn't going to Torcea after all, he was going to some little place down the coast to deliver his cargo. But that was all right, because I still had most of the money you were kind enough to give me, and I got a seat on a carrier's cart, but it lost a wheel out in the middle of nowhere. But then a very kind man gave me a lift on his wagon, but he could only go terribly slowlyâ'
âAll right,' Poldarn muttered. âHow did you end up in prison?'
She shook her head. âI have no idea,' she replied. âI arrived yesterday afternoon, and a nice young man at the gate asked me where I'd just come from, so I told him; and when I said I'd come from Tulice he told me to wait, and he went away and came back with
soldiers
, who brought me here. And I've been here for hours, and nobody's told me what's going on, and they've taken my babiesâ'
She sounded horribly upset. Babies, Poldarn thought; oh, God, yes, her little wicker cage full of mice. âIt's all right,' he said. âWe'll get you out of here in no time. Have you still got that badge I gave you?'
âBadge?' She looked at him.
âYes, don't you remember? I gave you a badge. It's special. It was given to me by an army commander. We used it to get you out of trouble in Falcata.' A nasty thought struck him. âYou
have
still got it, haven't you?'
She gave him a worried frown. âI'm very sorry,' she said, âI don't know what you're talking about. I'm afraid my memoryâ'
Poldarn jumped up and grabbed her by the collar. The badge was hidden by a fold of dirty cloth.
âThis,' he said, not bothering to keep the relief out of his voice. âThank God for that, you've got us both out of trouble. This is exactly what I need.'
âReally?' She beamed at him. âIs it important?'
âVery.' He grinned. âIt's an army thing, a safe-conduct token. Show this to the officer in charge, he's under orders to help us any way he can. It's more than important,' he added pensively, âit's practically a miracle.' He looked at her; she blinked and looked back, still beaming.
âDoes it mean they'll give me back my babies?' she asked hopefully.
Oh for pity's sake, Poldarn thought. âI imagine so,' he said. âLet's find out, shall we?'
They clearly valued their doors in Beal; shouting and yelling had no effect, but kicking the door energetically brought the guard running. âFetch your sergeant,' Poldarn said. âQuick.'
âPiss off,' said the guard.
âFine,' Poldarn said, and he kicked the door as hard as he could. Something cracked; he hoped it wasn't a bone in his foot.
âOh, for crying out loud,' the guard wailed; and a few minutes later, he was back with a short, round-faced sergeant. Poldarn held the badge up in front of the sliding panel in the door; he heard the sergeant swear under his breath, and then bolts shooting back.
âI'm really sorry,' the sergeant was saying, âwe had no idea. If only you'd said soonerâ'
âForget it,' Poldarn said pleasantly. âMemory's overrated anyhow. Look, this lady had a cage with some mice or something. Where's it got to?'
The sergeant looked blank. âHow should Iâ?' He caught sight of the look on Poldarn's face. âI'll find out,' he said quickly. âAcca, take these â take them up the guardroom and get them some food. And some water to wash in. I'll just go and find out about the mice.'
When the sergeant showed up half an hour later with the cage, and various scratching and scuttling noises from inside it confirmed that its contents were still profoundly alive, the delight on the old woman's face was a wonderful thing to see. Poldarn told the guards to make sure she ate something, and that she got to wherever she wanted to go. Then, on an impulse, he handed over Muno Silsny's incredibly valuable ring to her. After all, he told himself, he was taking back the safe-passage badge, so he ought to give her something in return. Besides, one way or another he wouldn't be needing it himself. âTake it to a jeweller's in a good part of town,' he told her, âand whatever they offer you for it first, don't settle for less than twice that. All right?'
She was beaming at him. âThat's so kind of you,' she said. âOf course, as soon as I find my son, I'll make sure he pays you back every quarter.' A terrible thought seemed to strike her. âBut how will we find you? You do seem to travel about such a lotâ'
âDon't worry,' he said, âit's all right. It was an unwanted gift, it doesn't matter. And you,' he added, turning on the sergeant, âyou make absolutely sure she gets to where she wants to go, understood? Because I'll find out, and if she hasn'tâ'
The sergeant promised faithfully, terror gleaming behind his eyes. Poldarn nodded. âThat's fine, then,' he said. âOff you go, and remember, I'll be checking up.'
The sergeant bustled away, escorting the mad woman as though she was fragile royalty. As soon as they'd gone, Poldarn turned to the guard, and grinned.
âRight,' he said. âNow, I want to see the Emperor.'
For a moment or so, he was almost ready to believe it was going to work. But then the soldier seemed to shake himself awake, and gawped at him.
âSorry,' he said, âbut I can't. I mean, it's not allowed.'
âBullshit,' Poldarn said. âYou saw the safe-conduct pass. Want me to show you again?'
âNo, that's fine,' the guard said quickly. âBut I still can't. You need sealed orders. Only the captain of the watchâ'