MENDING FENCES (9 page)

            “When will you go back?” he asked quietly as he sanded the top of a table.

            “Go back?” Maria asked, so far removed from the idea that she wasn’t even sure what he was asking at first.

            “Home.  To the community.  To be baptized and to join,” he said, sanding methodically and not looking up at her as he did so.

            Maria hesitated.  It had been the first time she’d even thought of home in several days.  She couldn’t believe that it had taken her so little time to get used to the world and to forget her own.  Though she wasn’t exactly out in the real world.  She was still sheltered in this small shed with Eldon.

            “I…I,” she stuttered, trying to come up with an answer.  Had she been out here alone, she likely would have gone back several days before.  Something about Eldon’s presence was keeping her and she did not yet know what it was.  Perhaps she was still meant to help him, though she had not received a direct answer from her prayers.

            “It’s okay,” Eldon said.  “You don’t have to answer.  Maybe it’s best that I don’t know.”

            Maria felt confusion race across her face.  “What do you mean?” she asked, curious.

            “I have to admit,” he said, putting his hand sander down and wiping his hands down his pants.  “I’ve started to enjoy our talks a bit too much.”

            “I know what you mean,” Maria agreed, meeting his eyes and feeling them pull her in as they always did.

            Eldon moved around the table and stood in front of her.  “I’m a few years older than you, Maria,” he said.  “And I feel like I have quite a bit of life experience because of the time I’ve spend out here.  I’ve never been in love,” he continued.  “But I think that’s because I never got a chance to really know you before now.”

            Maria knitted her eyebrows together.  “What are you saying?” she asked slowly, unsure as to whether or not she wanted the answer, but unable to stop herself from asking.

            “Maria, I love you,” Eldon said certainly, taking her by the shoulders and bringing her slightly closer to him.

            Maria’s eyes grew wide and her mouth opened slightly, though she was unable to speak.

            “I think losing you is going to be really hard.  Maybe even harder than what I went through before.  I don’t need you to answer me and I don’t want to know when you’re going to leave.  I simply want you to go when you’re ready.  And think of me when you get baptized.  I’ll be praying for you over here.”

            Maria blinked back tears.  No man other than her father had ever told her that they loved her.  She didn’t know how to respond so she simply let him talk.

            “When you’re ready to go home, just don’t show up here in the morning.  I’ll know by the afternoon that you went home and that you have made your decision.  In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy every second I have with you because Maria, I can’t imagine loving anyone else the way that I love you.”

            Maria slowly wrapped her arms around Eldon’s waist and laid her head on his chest.  She felt his arms cross behind her and she stood as still as possible, listening to his heartbeat beneath her head.  Eldon had just told her that he was in love with her, but he hadn’t asked her to stay.  She couldn’t even answer his proclamation so she was certain she wouldn’t have known what she would say had he taken things a step further.

            Maria was shocked.  She knew that what she felt for Eldon was unlike anything she had ever felt before, but now that he said it out loud…that he loved her…she realized that was what she was feeling as well.  She was in love with a man on the outside.

            Maria squeezed Eldon tighter, knowing that he had already lost so much and hating that she was going to cause him more pain.  Had he asked her to stay, she would have considered it at great length.  She would have prayed about it and she may have even returned to the community to talk to her family about it.  But the fact that Eldon had not asked her just proved his love, in her eyes. 

            Instead of asking her to choose between a man and an entire community, he was doing what he thought was best by encouraging her to go home.  He wasn’t going to come between her and the path she was meant to lead.

            Maria pulled back from Eldon and wiped the tears from her eyes.  She still didn’t know what to say so instead, she simply gave him a sad smile.  She laid her hand on the side of his face and studied his eyes.  She wanted to remember every detail about them and how they seemed to look past her surface and into her soul.

            Quickly, before she allowed herself to stall any longer, she turned and left the shed.

            By the time Maria made it to the sidewalk, the tears were streaming down her face.  She needed to talk to someone, but she certainly couldn’t go back to Eldon.  She rushed down the block and straight into Cooper’s store.  At first glance, Maria noticed the store was empty other than Cooper, who was behind the counter.  She was grateful for the solitude.

            “Maria!” Cooper exclaimed when he saw her burst through the door.  And then, upon further examination, he quickly moved to her side.  “Are you okay?” he asked, handing her the handkerchief he had in his front shirt pocket.

            Maria wiped her eyes and nodded as Cooper guided her to a seat behind the counter.  “I expected to see you a lot sooner and a lot more often,” Cooper said, filling the dead space in the air between them as Maria attempted to compose herself.  “I actually just thought of you the other day when one of your people was here for supplies.  I figured you had gone home and almost asked about you, but then decided it wasn’t my place.”

            Maria sniffled, grateful that Cooper hadn’t brought her up with whoever had come to get supplies. 

            “So are you ready to talk?” he asked.  “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

            Maria took a deep breath and felt the story falling out of her.  “Oh Cooper,” she sighed.  “I’ve made a horrible mess for myself.  I’ve gone and fallen in love.”

            “Fallen in love?” he asked slowly.  “Now, Maria, why would that be a bad thing?  Love is the most wonderful thing in the world!”

            Cooper seemed happy for her, but Maria knew it was only because he didn’t understand what she was saying.

            “I’m in love with Eldon Schrock,” she said, burying her face in the handkerchief.  “He lives here.”

            Cooper nodded slowly, stroking his beard as he put two and two together.  “I see,” he said.  “And you live there, right?”

            Maria nodded emphatically.  She needed to get her point across, but it was hard to speak at that moment.

            “If I remember right, Eldon came out on his Rumspringa a few years younger than you did, but he returned to the community shortly after.  It was a few years after that when he came to live in the area for good.  I never asked why and he never said.  I know there’s been speculation about him around town, but he makes good, sound furniture and I, for one, was grateful to have him.”

            Cooper looked over at Maria, “Does he feel the same way about you?” he asked.

            “Yes,” Maria confirmed.  “He just told me so.”  She wished she could say more, but she knew that Cooper was beginning to understand anyway.

            “Let me get this straight,” he said, slapping his hand on his knee.  “You love him and he loves you, but you can’t be together because he lives here and you live there.”

            “That’s right,” Maria said.  Her parents had been right when they told her to visit Cooper if she needed anything at all and that he would know what to do to help her.  He was a wise and insightful man.  She was now very anxious to hear his advice.

            “Well, dear,” he said, a thoughtful look on his face.  “I think there’s only one thing you can do.”

            Maria leaned forward.  “What’s that?”  She was ready to do almost anything he said, so long as she didn’t have to make any decisions herself.

            “I think it’s time for you to go home.”

            Maria leaned back in the chair.  It hadn’t been what she expected to hear.  Cooper had an Amish background, but he wasn’t from the community.  Surely he would understand love a lot better than he would loyalty to the community.  She expected him to tell her to follow her heart, wherever it was leading.

            “Your family is back there, right?” he asked.

            “Yes,” Maria said.  “All of them.”

            Cooper nodded.  “Then you need to go home.”

            “And just leave Eldon here?” she asked.  “Break his heart?  Along with my own?”  She felt a sob work its way through her body, but she stifled it so she could continue the conversation.

            “Now who said anything about leaving Eldon behind?” Cooper asked.

            Maria felt her heart instantly lighten.  Perhaps Cooper had advice that could solve her dilemma.  Maybe God sent her to his store that day for that very reason.  He might be leading her to the right path…one that would allow her to love Eldon and be a part of the community she adored.

            “I think you need to go home,” Cooper continued, “because your community obviously means a lot to you.”  Maria felt him glance up at her bonnet.  She knew some of the teens used Rumspringa as a chance to dress in clothing from the outside world, but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to even try anything on, much less convert to it, even if only for a few days.  “You need to go home and talk with your family.  Tell them how you feel.  Tell them what you learned while you were here.  Seek their advice.  If you don’t feel that you have an answer from God about what you should do yet, you’ll get an answer from them.”

            Maria felt her spirits lift.  Of course.  Her father was the wisest person she knew.  He would understand her situation and he would know just what she should do.  All she had to do was ask.  It would mean leaving town and going back to the community, but at that point, she would do whatever it took.

            “Thank you so much,” Maria gushed, feeling as if Cooper had done a lot more for her than give her simple advice.  “I’ll be sure to tell my parents how much you helped me.”

            Cooper stood and waved his hand in front of her.  “Aw, it was nothing, dear.  It was my pleasure to be there for you.”

            “I’ll be sure to get word to you,” she said, “about how it all turns out.”

            Maria already had an image in her mind.  She would go to her parents and tell them about her experiences in the outside world, nearly all of which revolved around Eldon.  She would tell them about her love for him and his for her.  She would describe what kind of a man he was and she would tell them he wanted to return to the community.  Perhaps her father could speak with the elders and even lead the cause to allow Eldon to come back.  It would just be a matter of time before Eldon was in the shop on community land, where he belonged.

            As Maria left Cooper’s store after asking him to send word that she was ready to go home and needed a ride, she felt like her steps were a million times lighter.  God was giving her an answer.  With a little help from Him, she could have everything she ever wanted…true love and a simple life.

            The next morning, Maria packed her few belongings along with one of the bags from the bakery.  The smell of the items she took to Eldon each morning reminded her of him and she knew that she wouldn’t be able to leave in good conscious without taking a small part of him with her, no matter how miniscule.