Merciless Ride (17 page)

Inhaling deeply, I blow out my breath harshly in an attempt to calm myself. How can Tessie allow such disrespect? What makes Rex being around without being a dad okay in her book?
 

The feel of little eyes watching me has me turning around after pulling my shirt over my head. Axel is staring at me with a firm face for a six- or seven-year-old, little boy.
 

“Why are you here, Mister?” he boldly questions me.
 

Damn, the kid’s got balls of steel.
 

“I’m a friend of your mom’s.”
 

“Momma don’t have friends. She don’t need friends. She’s got me and Gigi. That’s all she needs. You can leave and don’t look back.” Without waiting for me to reply, he turns and walks out of the living room.
 

I make my way to the bathroom to change my pants and wash up before taking the little hellion to school. When he comes around the corner with his blonde locks hidden under a baseball hat, I realize how Tessie has gotten him past the brothers we have had watching her.
 

The car ride is made in silence. While I wait for Tessie to return from signing Axel in, I try to get my emotions in check. Ultimately, this isn’t my business, or it
wasn’t
my business. Dammit, the lines are completely blurred with her. The longer she takes, the more I start looking around the building for exit points. Certainly she wouldn’t run from me over this, right?
 

Just as I am about to get out of the car to go search for her, she climbs in the passenger seat of the Challenger.
 

“Sorry. He was late, so I had to sign him in at the actual office and explain his tardy.”
 

“What the fuck is there to explain? You’re his damn mom and you brought him to school. It ain’t nobody’s business why he’s late,” I say as my agitation grows once again.
 

“School policy,” Tessie replies calmly.
 

Rather than start what I know will be an intense conversation in the car, I take Tessie back to my house. Pulling up, her surprise at our destination is evident.
 

“Why are we here?” she asks as I unlock the front door and let us in.
 

“I need to get shit for your house, and we need to talk, but I don’t want your mom to overhear. She worries about you, you know?”
 

Anger flashes in her face before she pushes it back down. “Don’t you get all righteous on me like you know about my life! Yes, Shooter, I am well fuckin’ aware of my mom and her worries.”
 

“Sit your ass down on the couch. Let me get my shit together, and then we’re gonna talk like grown ass adults, not this bickering bullshit you’re aimin’ for.”
 

After throwing some clothes in a bag, I gather my deodorant and shaving kit before making my way back to the woman waiting on my couch like Doomsday has arrived. How are we going to get our shit sorted if she feels defensive every time we talk? I need to stop being such a hardass and hear her out. Then, after I sort my shit with her, I need to sort Rex’s shit for him.
 

Man up, fucker, you have a son.
 

 

Hits Keep On Coming
 

 

I knew this day would come. I didn’t know it would come like this. The truth will set you free. Again, one of those things people say all the damn time. The truth will not set me free here. Nope, the truth here will tie me to Rex permanently.
 

Shooter settles on the other end of the couch and stretches his left arm over the back as he relaxes into his space. “Talk.”
 

“I don’t think I have to say it. One look at my son and you know the truth.”
 

“Oh, no, baby, you need to say it. Not just for me to hear it, but I think you haven’t faced it for yourself. I’m tryin’ real hard here, Tessie, to keep an open mind. Take me back and tell me the whole story.”
 

“Shooter, have you ever believed in something so much you couldn’t see it any other way until it was too late?”
 

“Yeah, I made that mistake once. It cost me everything.”
 

His honesty shocks me. I expected a simple yes, not that he has lost in his past.
 

“Rex was everything I thought I wanted. Only, well… only he wasn’t. I’m white trailer trash from a broken home. Rex is the bad boy. Yeah, I watched him around here and there while I was going to high school. He was sexy in that wild, reckless way. I came from nothing and had no real future. As soon as I was legal, I sought out Rex. He had flirted with me here and there, nothing serious, but I was young and stupid. I didn’t realize Rex flirted with anyone who had a pussy. I thought he wanted me, so I threw myself at him at first, but he denied me.”
 

“Rex denied you?” Shooter can’t believe me. Hell, if I hadn’t been the one on the receiving end of the rejection, I wouldn’t believe it either.
 

“Well, that made me want him even more. Before I left for college, I practically begged him to take my V-card. Looking back, I was pathetic. It wasn’t great, but I had heard girls talk and no one had a good first time.”
 

Shooter looks at me wide-eyed yet says nothing.
 

“Well, I wanted to make it memorable. So when I would come home from college, I would hook up with Rex. The first time may not have been good, but I wanted to make sure when I looked back on the man I gave my virginity to that I could at least say it got better. I kept coming back for more waiting for it to get better. Well, the sex did get better, but the situation between Rex and I never changed.”
 

I feel my face flush in embarrassment as I realize I am talking about my sex life with the sexiest man I have ever encountered. Sure, Rex is hot. Rex is sin walking, talking, and fucking. However, Shooter is stealth. Shooter is the man in the shadows. He is the mystery that keeps you needing more.
 

He nods at me to continue.
 

“I was trying to be smart, you know. I went to the campus clinic. I was on the depo shot for birth control. Well, I had midterms and missed getting my shot. Then I came home for spring break, not thinking about it. Just like always in those two years since I first fucked him, Rex and I hooked up while I was home.”
 

“Have you ever been with anyone but Rex?” Shooter questions then shifts in his seat. “Never mind, don’t answer that. It’s not my business. Continue.”
 

“I finished that semester and came home for summer vacation, but my period didn’t come, which didn’t shock me after being on the shot for so long. Then, I started getting sick to my stomach. My mom swears she saw a difference in my face. Either way, she point blank asked me one day mid-summer if I was pregnant. She had seen me coming and going with Rex. When she asked, it made my brain go,
wait a second
…” I pause to gage Shooter’s reaction, but he is unreadable. Does he think I am stupid?
 

He raises an eyebrow for me to continue.
 

“Well, I was knocked up. I tried to talk to Rex. Thing is, Rex and I never did much talking, and he wasn’t ready to start then, either. He thought I was going back to college, so I let him believe I returned when I didn’t. I stayed home, only going out for doctor’s appointments. I didn’t show until the very end of my pregnancy, and even then, I wasn’t big. Keeping it quiet wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Rex never came looking for me. I realized I always came home and sought him out. After I had Axel, no one really asked me any questions, so I didn’t have to answer anything.”
 

“Rex knows now. He’s talked about your son. How did he find out?”
 

“Kids aren’t cheap. I needed a job. Having no real education to fall on, I went to Ruthless and got a job from Bob. When Rex came in the bar and saw me, I tried to resist him at first. I told him I have a baby at home now. Then he told me all the things I wanted to hear. A quick fuck in the stockroom…”
 

The stockroom. My breath hitches, pulse racing, the panic rising. I can’t breathe. My chest hurts. The room spins.
 

“Inhale, baby,” Shooter’s voice breaks through my thoughts. Sliding over the couch, he wraps his arms gently around me, pulling me to him. “Exhale. Tessie, you’re safe. Inhale. I got you. Exhale. You’re with me.” His voice soothes something inside me as I follow his command. “Inhale. Stay in the moment here with me, baby. Exhale.”
 

I blow out a breath as my body and my mind settle. I will get past this. I am stronger than what has happened to me. The stockroom isn’t the problem. Shep, he is the problem. He can’t get to me. Shooter has me. I feel his arms tighten around me as I calm down once again.
 

“You okay?” he asks in genuine concern.
 

“Yeah, I’m getting there. Anyhow,” I add needing to continue, “Rex said the right things, and we fell into a weird routine of hooking up whenever he was home and didn’t have some barfly on his dick. He’s never asked about Axel other than common casualties.” I tuck my hair behind my ears while I work to calm my nerves.
 

Pulling out of Shooter’s embrace, I sit back against the arm of the couch while he consumes the middle and into part of my cushion.
 

“Why haven’t you told him?”
 

“Rex doesn’t want to be a dad.”
 

“You didn’t give him a chance. How do you know he doesn’t want to be a dad? Is it the club, the lifestyle?”
 

“Yes, no… It’s more Rex, not the club. I don’t want to hold Rex back. He’s not ready to be a dad. For a long time, I told myself I was waiting for him to settle down. I just knew he would pick me, and we would have this happy family. He just needed time and freedom to be wild. In time, I grew tired of it, tired of waiting. Sure, I know I’m the only one he comes back to, but Rex doesn’t make sure I’m okay. Sure, he makes sure I get off, but beyond that, he doesn’t check on me. If he cares so little for me, would he really do more for my boy? For a son he never asked for?
 

“Rex is not a selfless man. He’s not going to give up his life for me and Axel. It wouldn’t be fair of me to ask him, either. Time passed, and it was easier to let go of Rex and not worry about telling him. One day, I know I will have to, but I was waiting on Rex to grow up, and for it not to be me forcing him.”
 

“Fuck, Tessie. You’ve kept the man’s son from him. Whether Rex was ready or not, it wasn’t for you to decide. He’s the boy’s father and has a right to know.” Shooter does nothing to hold back his irritation with me.
 

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but please don’t tell him, not just yet. I promise to tell him, but let me find my way to do it.”
 

Shooter’s phone ringing interrupts us.
 

“Shooter,” he answers. There is a pause before he hands the phone to me.
 

“Hello,” I say into the receiver, caught off guard as to who is on the other end.
 

“Tessie, I need you to come home, now. I can’t feel my left leg.”
 

“On my way, Momma. Don’t move.”
 

My heart breaks as the hits keep on coming. I knew I needed to be stronger. I never should have told her what happened to me, even if she got a watered down version. My problems can’t be her problems.
 

I silently pray as tears roll down my face.
 

Fate, Karma, God, whoever is listening, please have mercy on my momma. She’s a good woman. This disease is ravaging her body. Don’t take her mobility away completely. Let her get through again without major complications. My stress did this, I triggered her flare up. Punish me, but please not my momma. She’s all I’ve ever had; don’t put her through more.