Mercy F*uck (29 page)

“I have a right to be there,” he snapped. “I claimed the kid too, Drew.”

He didn’t understand that I loved Shane and needed some alone time with him. His distance had killed me and I wanted a chance to tell him so without an audience. “Meet with Whisky and handle business,” I tried to convince him. “I’ll check in with you and that way you can work without rushing on my behalf. It’s just lunch, Axle. I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t like fighting with you,” he said gently and when I stayed silent because I didn’t like it either.  Taking my chin in his palm and whispered, “I love you, Drew.”

“I love you too, Axle.”

“Loved you a long time.”

“I know. Because I have too.”

“I’m going to say it a lot.”

“And I promise, I’ll do the same.”

It was times like this that I could already hear Axle grunting,
God dammit, I told you so, Drew
.

If I made it out alive, he’d never let me live this down and I honestly couldn’t blame him.

In my desperation to see Shane, I let my emotions overrule my common sense. Because of that, I was back in the dining room, of all fucking places, with a gun pointed at my face. The man holding said gun was all sorts of fucked up too. Wild eyes, sweat pouring from him, and don’t even get me started on the pacing.

Sometimes he’d speak to me but mostly it was to himself.

But God damn he sure kept that gun steady…

I was sixty percent certain at any moment he was going to blow my head off.  Which left me a forty percent chance of at least getting a few swings in before he did. Doing the math in my head, I equated this to me one hundred percent dying today of either a gunshot wound or other casualty.

Yes, I was terrified but I was also unarmed, and while neither of those things were about to change, all I could think about was Axle. Of the future we wouldn’t have. And man did getting robbed of that future piss me off. However, I was glad he wasn’t in the line of fire. Sparing his life was priority one. I’d get myself out of this somehow, I had to. Throwing my hands up I ask Willis, “What the fuck are you waiting for? Divine intervention?”

Taking several steps forward he pistol-whipped me on the right side of my jaw which sent me into the wall.

Grabbing my cheek, I scream in fury, “Ow! What the fuck was that for, petty officer hits like a bitch?”

“She won’t ever get better until you die,” he says sincerely, and I found this tragic and highly inconvenient for me.

“I hate to break it to you but that’s really shitty logic, Willis. Where’s Shane?” I demand.

Looking at me like I’m the one that’s nuts, he literally asks, “What?”

“Where is he?” I repeat. “Did you hurt him?”
Please say no, fucking please
…

“He’s playing basketball, so I took his phone to text you. It was too easy.”

“Nothing about me is easy,” I snort at the reference. “Okay, well some things are.”

“I told you to send my boy home,” he sneers changing the subject again. “His mother needed him home.”

“Your boy needed protection,” I sneer right back. “From his own mother! Oh and you too!”

“You should have listened to me!”

“Yeah, well you should have put a collar on that bitch so she didn’t blow up my boat and my God damn bar! I didn’t lay a fucking hand on Shane and you know it. He’s my employee and my friend! You let her get away with that shit and not only did that fuck you up, it did a number on your son too. So now you’re going to kill me? For fucking looking out for Shane when you didn’t?”

“She won’t ever get better until you die,” he repeats and I’d had it.

“Clue in, asshole, she boarded the rail to crazy train a long fucking time ago and you purchased the ticket.”

Out of nowhere, his fist connected with my face and on the way to lights out, I swore I saw Camo waving to me from a tree. Weird. Jolted awake by a fist in my hair, I didn’t hold back my scream because that shit hurt. Twisting around, I latched onto his wrist and applied pressure with my thumbs. With no choice but to release me, I pushed off needing distance. Unfortunately, I was still off-balance and not seeing me as a threat, Willis laughed until I did the one thing that would shut him up. I picked up his wife’s bible.

How ya like me now, Jesus?

“Get your filthy hands off the good book!”

Flipping it from front to back, I shrug and say, “It didn’t catch on fire so that means I’m safe, right?”

“You mock the Lord,” he spews at me. “You speak like a whore, dress like a whore – ”

“Now hold the fuck on,” I say raising the book up. “I do not dress like a whore. This is vintage, bitch, pay attention.”

Muttering more nonsense, I estimated the odds were now fifty-fifty that he’d actually take the shot. “Have to die,” he says pacing so I asked him, “You’d shoot someone holding a bible? Doesn’t that, oh I don’t know, go against everything you believe in?”

“You mock the Lord,” he says narrowing his eyes.

“No,” I say rolling mine. “I’m mocking
you
.”

Then the motherfucker fired. It took me a solid minute to realize he didn’t shoot me. But even without the hole in my body I wasn’t able to stay in one place. Adrenaline and terror flowed through me and I did what any woman would do, I started screaming.

“You don’t
pretend
to shoot someone you fucking tool! That’s worse than getting shot! You’re a cop! Don’t they teach you that shit? Fuck! Now I have to pee, captain piss-pants!”

“Shut up,” he snarls in warning.

“Fuck you,” I snarl back. “You shut up. Better yet, put the gun away and man the fuck up!”

“You want to fight me?” he asks clearly confused.

“I’m unarmed,” I draw out slowly. “It’s not exactly fair, Willis. At least this way I can fight back.”

At this point, the odds of my dying were out the window because I was in the red zone. I didn’t even think twice before I said, “I’ll go first,” and clocked him upside the head with his wife’s bible.  Willis staggered from the force of it and I pounced. Tagging him around the waist, I used my elbows to get my jabs in, only he kept pulling my hair.

“Dirty pool, you fucking piece of – ” his well-placed kidney shot shut me right up and I went down hard. I’d never taken a true blow to the middle before and I wasn’t prepared for the absolute pain that came with it.

Points to Willis, he hits harder than his wife
…

“Dad?” I hear from the kitchen and was too busy coughing up a lung to tell Shane to run. When his eyes took me in, the scared boy was gone, and in his place was the fighter Axle had taught him to be. Seething in fury, he still found it in him to help me up. He was such a good kid despite his upbringing. “I’ll kill you,” he vows yet held me gently.

“She’s a whore,” Willis spits. “Your mother will never get better until she dies! Don’t you see that?”

Slow to get my bearings, I wrapped my arms around myself and whispered to Shane. “Look at me,” I beg him and when he does I say, “Please, let me handle this.”

“No,” he says shaking his head and then staring at his dad, he roars, “This ends now!” and charges.

It was all happening so fast that I couldn’t track their movements enough to jump in to help. And Shane needed help, badly. When a blow to Shane’s face sends him staggering, I chanted for him to focus, to anticipate. While part of me wanted him to have this, the other part wanted it to stop. A child fighting a parent was so fucking wrong, especially when that parent is trained.

Not knowing what else to do, I gave Shane a chance to right himself when Willis landed an uppercut that sent him flying. Ignoring my presence, he proceeds to beat his son with a familiarity that made me sick. It was clear to me that Shane’s mother wasn’t the only one who abused her son. His fucking father did too and often judging by the precision of his blows. Curled into a ball to protect himself, Shane did his best to stay hidden. Seeing him like that filled me with a rage I had no hopes of containing. With a roar of fury, I launched myself onto Willis’ back and secured my forearm over his throat. With every ounce of strength I had, I was intent on killing him. Unfortunately, Willis wasn’t going to go down easy so when he used all his weight to slam me into the wall, I felt it in my bones.

Wrapping my legs around him and applying more pressure, I knew I was screaming for him to die, only he fucking wouldn’t. The next visit to the wall had its desired affect because it stunned me enough that I had no choice but to release him. Hitting the floor hard, I felt the air leave me in a rush.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Shane get to his feet and I knew the kid was done giving his father power over him. Willis wasn’t stupid either. He knew the predator just became the prey and when Shane charged him, he dodged it and hit the floor coming up with his gun flush in his palm.

“You’d shoot me?” Shane laughs in shock. “You’d shoot your own son?”

Wiping blood from his mouth, Willis looks from me to him and says, “Yes. For her I would.”

“Fuck you,” he growls and then opens his arms. “You can’t hurt me more than you already have.”

Snagging the book and clutching it, I found my footing and took my place in front of Shane offering my body and his mother’s bible as protection.

It was all I had.

But it wasn’t enough because when Willis closed his eyes and smiled, I knew I was dead.

The good news was the last face I’d see before I died was Axle’s.

“Even when you don’t need it, I’ll still protect you.”

“You are such an alpha male,” she smiled launching herself at me. “And I love you for it.”

Charging through the front door, I followed Shane’s voice and just as he said, “You can’t hurt me more than you already have,” and watched in terror as Drew put herself in front of him in protection. Lunging forward right as Willis raised his gun, I nearly had him when he fired. When my body connected with his, the momentum sent us both to the ground. Wrapping my hand around his throat and pinning him with my weight, I look over to see Shane kneeling over Drew’s body and the kid’s wails broke me.

I didn’t make it in time
…

I was unable to process any of this. Not now, not fucking ever.  All I could see were her feet and the thought of never waking up to her again wiped my mind completely blank. Despite losing my shit, I was still aware I had Willis under me and absently I wondered why he wasn’t fighting back. Through different eyes, distant eyes, I knew it was my hand wrapped around his throat but instead of cutting off his air, I released my grip. Choking him would be too easy. This motherfucker wouldn’t be getting easy.

Giving myself over to the rage, I let nature take its course and while I knew I was beating him to death, my thoughts centered around Drew. Every memory, every touch and the way her eyes softened when she told me she loved me. I thought of her parents, her sisters, and her crew. So many loved her and the loss for all involved would be devastating. As for me, I’d never move on. I would be stuck in this moment for eternity. The moment I didn’t chase her like I promised to.
I should have fucking chased her
…