Mermaids Singing (26 page)

Kitty held him at arm’s length, studying his face. A happy bubble welled up inside her and she found herself laughing for the first time in months. ‘I didn’t think you’d be home for ages yet.’

‘Ah, that’s the wonder of having huge steam engines to drive the ship as well as sail. We made good time this trip and I wanted to give you all a surprise.’

‘And you did, son. It’s the best surprise in the world,’ Betty said, smiling proudly. ‘Isn’t he just the most handsome young man you’ve ever seen, Kitty?’

Jem struck a pose, hitching his thumbs in the top of his waistcoat. ‘Isn’t that the truth, though? What d’you think, Kitty?’

‘He looks just the same as ever he did to me,’ Kitty said, giggling as Jem lunged at her. She dodged his outstretched hands, putting the length of the kitchen table between them. She wasn’t going to admit it, but he was maturing into a fine-looking young man. The hard life on board ship had broadened his shoulders and chest, giving him a powerful, finely honed look of an athlete. His hair was streaked flaxen by the sun and his skin tanned, so that his eyes were more startlingly blue by contrast. It was so good to see him that she had to hold herself back from showing it too much; she had seen the warm gleam in his eyes when he looked at her but she was not ready. Maybe she would never be ready to have a proper relationship with a man. Sid’s shadow hung over her still.

Picking up a wet cloth, Kitty threw it at Jem.

Peeling the cloth off his face, Jem grinned. ‘I ought to shove this down your neck, but I know you’d get me back.’ Reaching for his ditty bag, he delved inside and pulled out a scrap of tissue paper. ‘I should give these to one of the sweet-hearts who are pining for me in every port, but seeing as how I bought them for you, I suppose you’d better have them.’

Holding out her hand, Kitty took the package and, teasing the paper apart, she gave a gasp of delight at the sight of a pair of emerald green earrings. ‘They’re beautiful, Jem. I don’t know what to say.’

‘Ta would be a start,’ Jem said, sprawling on the nearest chair. ‘They’re New Zealand green-stone. I took a good deal of time and trouble picking them specially for you, although I don’t know why when you’re such a torment to me.’

Kitty held them to her ears, squinting at her reflection in the cracked wall mirror. ‘I’ll have to get my ears pierced before I can wear them.’

‘Better wash your face too,’ Jem said, eyeing her critically. ‘You look as if you’ve been shovelling coal in a ship’s boiler room, or is that the latest fashion?’

‘What would you know about getting your hands dirty? I been grafting twelve hours a day to put food on the table, not strutting about on deck with me nose in the air.’

‘Here, that ain’t fair. You’ve got no idea what life at sea is like.’

‘And you don’t know what we’ve been through here.’

‘Now, now,’ Betty said, pouring tea. ‘You’re both behaving like five-year-olds. And you’re being unkind to Kitty, Jem. She’s been working all hours in the blacking factory and sewing seams for me at night when she should be resting.’

Jem’s grin faded to a frown. ‘If only I’d known you were all in such a state I’d have sent more money home. You should have told me, Ma, just like you should have let me know about poor Poll.’

Tears welled up in Betty’s eyes but she dashed them away on her sleeve. ‘Our Polly’s gone to a better place where there’s no pain and suffering, but I do miss her so very much.’

‘She never complained about her lot and was always ready for a laugh,’ Jem said, reaching across the table to clasp Betty’s hand. ‘But to wish her back in that poor body wouldn’t be a kindness. I’m only sorry I wasn’t here to say goodbye to her.’

‘She loved you, Jem,’ Betty said, sniffing. ‘She loved us all.’

‘Ma, don’t take on,’ Jem said, patting her hand. ‘I’m here now, for a bit anyway. I’ll see that things get easier for you.’

Betty fished in her pocket for a scrap of a hanky and blew her nose. ‘Don’t you worry about me, son. I know our Polly wouldn’t want me to mope about, and I’ve taken comfort from having Maggie’s nippers raging around the house. Made it seem like the old days when you were young.’

‘Maggie’s nippers?’

‘Kitty will tell you all about it later. They’ll be back soon, starving hungry as usual and yelling for their tea.’

‘What’s been going on?’ Jem demanded, turning to Kitty. ‘I seem to have missed a whole lot.’

‘And there’s Lady Mableton and Maria too,’ Kitty said, chuckling at his bemused expression. ‘You’ve come home to a big family, Jem.’

‘I’m afraid I gave your bedroom to Bella and her ma,’ Betty said, frowning. ‘Kitty gets up first so she’s in the attic and Maggie and the children are in my best letting room.’

‘Ma, stop fretting,’ Jem said, throwing up his hands. ‘If you’d seen where I sleep on board then you wouldn’t worry about putting me in the cupboard under the stairs. I can sleep on a spar, and that’s the truth.’

Later that evening Kitty and Jem strolled along the quay wall. The Thames flowed molten gold in the rays of the setting sun and the dockside buildings were fading into a misty sepia tint. The turn of the tide had taken with it the worst of the city smells and there was a warm hint of approaching summer in the air. With her hand clasped firmly in Jem’s big paw, Kitty felt safe for the first time in ages. It was so good to have him home, she thought, stealing a surreptitious glance at his craggy profile. The boyish lines of his face had all but disappeared, and the rounded cheeks had tautened to reveal a strong, stubborn jaw line.

As if sensing her glance, Jem turned his head and grinned. ‘Penny for ’em.’

‘I was just thinking that it’s good to have you home. I’ve missed you, Jem.’

Jem stopped and sat down on the edge of a stone horse trough, pulling Kitty down beside him. ‘Not half as much as I’ve missed you, Kitty.’

Kitty stared down at his slim, work-hardened fingers that so effortlessly covered her whole hand. ‘Don’t go running away with the wrong ideas now. We’re pals, that’s all.’

‘Is that so? We’ll see about that.’

‘It is so and I mean it, Jem.’ Kitty snatched her hand away and folded her arms across her chest, kicking at small pebbles with the toe of her boot.

‘Go on then,’ Jem said, after a long moment of silence. ‘Spit it out, girl.’

Startled, Kitty shot him an anxious glance. ‘What?’

‘I’m not daft, Kitty. I know there’s been something going on round here or else why would Maggie have moved into Tanner’s Passage with the kids? What’s happened to Sid Cable? And you keep looking over your shoulder as if you expect Jack the Ripper to pop up round every corner.’

‘Don’t joke about things like that – they never did catch the villain.’

‘No, sorry, that was a stupid thing to say, but I’ve got all night. I ain’t budging from this spot until you tell me exactly what’s been going on while I’ve been away at sea.’

Chewing her lip, Kitty met his eyes reluctantly and, with a long-drawn-out sigh, she told him everything. It all came tumbling out in muddled half-sentences, punctuated by broken sobs, as she relived the horrors of the rape that had been committed not too far from where they were sitting. Jem said nothing but she felt his body stiffen and his arm crept around her shoulders, his fingers digging into her flesh. When she had finished, he leapt to his feet, striding up and down and running his fingers through his cropped hair.

‘It wasn’t my fault, Jem,’ she whispered, her voice breaking. ‘I never led him on and I didn’t mean to kill him.’

‘Hell’s bells, Kitty, of course you bloody didn’t,’ Jem said, throwing himself down on his knees in front of her. His eyes flashed with anger and he gripped her hands so hard that her knuckles cracked. ‘And if you had killed him it was what he deserved. If he wasn’t dead now, then I’d go and kill him myself.’

‘No one else knows. I daren’t mention it to a soul but they haven’t found his body yet.’

Getting up, Jem pulled her to her feet, wrapping his arms around her. ‘And probably never will. The tide will have taken him way out to sea and the chances are he’ll never be found. I’ve seen men fall overboard and be swallowed up in an instant, never to be seen again.’

Resting her cheek against the rough cloth of his reefer jacket, Kitty closed her eyes and felt a faint flutter of hope. ‘D’you really think so?’

‘I know so,’ Jem said, lifting her chin and looking deep into her eyes. ‘You’re safe with me, Kitty, love. I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.’

‘Oh, Jem!’ His arms holding her so tightly felt strong and warm and for the first time in her life she felt safe and at home. ‘I – I’ve missed you so,’ she whispered.

‘Kitty, you don’t know how many times I’ve imagined you saying those words to me.’ Jem’s eyes darkened as he drew her closer, slipping his hand behind her head so that their lips were almost touching.

Kitty pushed him away. ‘No. Jem, I – I can’t.’

‘Don’t pull away from me, Kitty. You can’t think I’d mean to hurt you? I think the world of you, you know that.’

Kitty knew she had hurt him – she could see it in his eyes, she could feel it in her heart. It was her own turbulent emotions that baffled and confused her. She stared down at her feet, shaking her head. ‘I just want things to be like they used to be between us. You know, when we was younger. You could always make me laugh and we had good times together.’

‘Of course we did and we will again. You’ve been through a terrible time and I wasn’t there for you – how do you think that makes me feel?’

Searching his eyes for an answer, Kitty shook her head. ‘I dunno.’

‘It makes me bloody angry and it makes me want to cry.’

‘Cry? You?’ Kitty giggled. ‘I’ve never seen you cry. Snivel a bit maybe, but not have a good bawl.’

Jem’s eyes lit with a smile. ‘At least I’ve made you laugh again, Kitty. I haven’t seen you laugh for a long time.’

‘What happened to us, Jem?’

‘We grew up,’ Jem said, clasping her hands and holding them to his chest. ‘We grew up, that’s all.’

‘I want us to still be friends.’ Kitty raised her eyes to his face. ‘We are, aren’t we, Jem?’

‘We’ll always be friends,’ Jem said, tracing the contour of her cheek with his finger, running it so softly down the column of her neck that it was like the touch of a cobweb. ‘Nothing can change that.’ He broke off abruptly as he reached the hollow at the base of her throat and the hurt crept back into his voice. ‘I thought as how you’d be wearing my keepsake.’

‘I was. I mean, I did –’ Kitty broke off, not wanting to admit the truth.

Tugging at a thin gold chain around his neck, Jem drew out his half of the coin. ‘I’ve worn mine night and day. It kept me close to you no matter where I was, and I thought you would do the same.’

The reproach in his eyes was too much for Kitty. It wasn’t fair that he arrived home without warning, upsetting her world and confusing her emotions. What did he know about the life they had been forced to lead? A wave of irrational anger welled up inside her. ‘We were starving, Jem. Can’t you get that into your wooden skull? I didn’t want to let it go, but you can’t eat a bit of metal.’

‘You pawned it? You took it to old Sparky’s pop shop?’

‘I didn’t want to and I ain’t apologising, but I had no choice.’

Next day when Kitty left work, she found Jem waiting for her outside the factory gates.

One of the girls jabbed Kitty in the ribs. ‘Kitty’s got a fella.’

‘Forget her, sailor. She’s a bag of skin and bone.’ A flame-haired woman, who had been one of Kitty’s worst tormentors from the start, sidled up to Jem. ‘I could show you a good time, ducks.’

Kitty pushed past them, embarrassed by their lewd remarks and catcalls. ‘You shouldn’t have come,’ she scolded, as Jem fell in step beside her.

‘That’s a nice way to greet a fellow who’s gone out of his way to see you safely home.’

‘I don’t need anyone to walk me home. You’re making a show of me, Jem. I’ll never live it down.’

Jem scowled back at her, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. ‘I don’t like you lowering yourself to work in that place anyway. You’re better than a common factory girl.’

Coming to an abrupt halt, Kitty spun around to face him. ‘Shut up! You don’t know what you’re talking about.’

Jem grabbed her by the arm as she went to walk away. ‘Don’t you tell me to shut up! And I do know what I’m saying. I want you away from the docks and the East End. What’s happened to your fine ambitions to work up West, I’d like to know?’

‘You’d like to know?’ Kitty wrenched her arm free. ‘You don’t know nothing about how we’ve had to grub around just to get enough to eat. You’ve been gone for a year, Jem. A lot has changed in a year and you’ve got no right to come home telling me what to do. D’you hear me?’

‘Aye, I hear you and so does the whole of Billingsgate and probably Southwark too.’

‘Bah!’ shouted Kitty, and stalked off with a toss of her head.

‘It’s all that woman’s fault,’ Jem grumbled, catching up with her and matching his long stride to hers. ‘Bella Lane or Lady Mableton, whatever she likes to call herself, is no better than she should be. If you ask me a woman who leaves her husband and child should be ashamed of herself.’

‘Don’t you dare criticise Bella. It wasn’t her fault. She fell in love with Mr Edward and he with her. Sir Desmond is a beastly man.’

Jem’s generous mouth set in a hard line. ‘You should have left her to get on with her own life. But no, you go and get yourself a job in that filthy factory just to keep her ladyship in comfort.’

‘That’s so unfair,’ Kitty cried, staring at him in disbelief. ‘I can’t believe you just said that.’

‘I said it because it’s true. You’ve worked yourself to the bone for that woman. You’re worth a hundred of her sort.’

‘You – you pompous twerp!’ Kitty shouted, punching him on the shoulder. ‘Go back to your stupid ship, cabin boy!’

‘I’ll have you know that I’ve got my third mate’s ticket,’ roared Jem. ‘And I’m studying for the second. By the time I’m twenty I’ll have my first mate’s ticket and then you’ll see what I’m made of.’

Kitty snorted in disgust and walked away.

‘And you haven’t worn the earrings I bought you,’ Jem shouted after her. ‘I expect I’ll find them in old Sparky’s shop, along with the half-sovereign.’