Mermaids Singing (37 page)

Bella went to her room to pack her belongings and Kitty couldn’t wait for Jem to come home to confide her anxieties in him.

It was late in the evening and Bella, who said she was completely exhausted, but more than ever determined to travel to Paris next day, had gone to bed. When she heard Jem’s key in the lock, Kitty flew out of the sitting room, running down the stairs to meet him, pouring out half of the story before he had even had time to hang up his hat.

Finishing the telling over mugs of cocoa in the kitchen, Kitty waited for Jem to agree with her but he merely shook his head.

‘It’s her life, she must do what she thinks best.’

‘Jem, you can’t let her travel abroad on her own.’

Cocking his head on one side, Jem raised his eyebrows and grinned. ‘I think she’s perfectly capable of looking after herself.’

‘Something awful could happen to her.’

‘Not much worse than being forced to live as a kept woman with old Chester, I shouldn’t think.’

‘How can you be so heartless?’

Reaching across the table, Jem grasped her hand in his. ‘There’s only one girl I care about Kitty, and you know who that is.’

Kitty snatched her hand away, unable to control the blush rising to her cheeks as she met his intense gaze. ‘Don’t start all that again. I can’t think about that now.’

‘Say you don’t care about me and I’ll shut up and not mention it again.’

Fingering the chain around her neck, Kitty dropped her gaze. This wasn’t how she had imagined the scene when she finally admitted her deep feelings for Jem and she was suddenly nervous and shy. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

Gently, Jem hooked his finger around the chain, revealing the half-sovereign, and held it in the palm of his hand. ‘You still wear this, though.’

The warmth of his hand so close to her skin made Kitty’s heart beat just a bit faster and her cheeks stung with the heat. ‘Of course I do,’ she said, attempting to pass it off with a laugh that sounded false even to her own ears.

‘You needn’t be scared of me.’

Kitty couldn’t meet his gaze. She knew what he said was true, and she did trust him, but the thought of being intimate with any man brought back memories of Sid and his vicious assaults. Her feelings for Jem were a puzzle in her head that never quite fitted together; he was the other piece of the gold sovereign that, with her half, made one. He had been part of her life for as long as she could remember and Jem had his special place in her heart, but that might all be destroyed and lost forever if she could not get the grisly phantom of Sid out of her mind. Jumping to her feet, she turned away, covering her hot cheeks with her hands, shaking her head. ‘I know that, and I’m not scared of you. I do care about you, Jem.’

‘Enough to tell me what’s really bothering you?’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

‘Yes you do,’ Jem insisted, jumping up and taking hold of Kitty by the shoulders. ‘And it don’t take a genius to work it out. You can’t afford to keep this place on without Bella’s money, now can you?’

‘Oh! That!’ Fearing that he had read her thoughts, Kitty could have cried with relief. ‘It’s my problem, not yours.’

‘If it concerns you and my old lady, then it’s my problem as well.’ Jem shook her gently. ‘Look at me, Kitty.’

Reluctantly, Kitty looked up into his candid blue eyes.

‘Now I’ll tell you what I’ve had in mind ever since I found out that Ma lost her home. I’m coming ashore for good and I’m going to take care of you both.’

Kitty gasped as the full force of what he had said hit her like a slap in the face. ‘But, Jem, you can’t do that. The sea is your life.’

‘I want you to be my life, Kitty. I’ve seen the way George looks at you and, even if you don’t care for him, there’ll be other men who’ll make a try for you. I won’t leave you to struggle on your own. I love you, Kitty.’

Her thoughts reeling, Kitty stared at Jem, seeing for the first time, the man and not the boy. ‘I don’t want anyone else. I never promised George anything. I do care about you, Jem.’

‘I want more than that, and I’m not going away again and risk losing you,’ Jem said, holding her so tightly that she could scarcely catch her breath. ‘I know you love me, deep down; I just want you to face up to it and we can work the rest out together.’

‘You’d give up your dreams for me?’

‘And what about your dreams? You’ve spent all your time looking after everyone else and I’m not going to stand by and see you lose everything you’ve worked so damned hard to get.’

Looking deeply into her eyes, Jem took her in his arms, claiming her mouth with a kiss that sent Kitty’s senses soaring out of control. For a moment, she tried to push him away, but his embrace was steel, softly padded with velvet, his lips demanding and yet tender. Giving way to the firestorm of sweet sensation flowing through her veins, Kitty closed her eyes and the taste of him was sweet as pineapple; the scent of him was musk and Christmas spice. Jem’s lean body was hard, as hers was soft and pliable.

Then panic set in and she struggled, pushing him away. ‘I – I can’t, Jem. I’m sorry.’

‘It’s all right, Kitty. I understand.’

Hardly able to look him in the eyes, Kitty shook her head. ‘You deserve more than I can give you, Jem.’

Stroking her hair back from her forehead, Jem’s generous mouth curved into a smile. ‘Don’t fret, Kitty. I know what you been through and I swear that when the time comes for me to love you properly, as a man should, you’ll not be afraid and you’ll not be disappointed.’

‘I don’t know what to say.’

‘I know, girl.’ With his arm around her shoulders, Jem gave her a hug. ‘We’ll be all right you and me, Kitty. We’ll face it all together and we’ll come through because I love you.’

Next morning Bella was up before Kitty, and had somehow managed to drag her portmanteau and travelling trunk down three flights of stairs to the hall. She was standing by the mirror, fixing her bonnet, when Kitty came down the stairs.

‘So you’re going then?’

Bella flashed her a smile. ‘I’ll be in Paris this evening.’

‘What will I tell Leonie? She’s six years old, she’s not a baby any more.’

‘Tell her I love her and I will come back for her one day.’

‘Won’t you reconsider? Oughtn’t you to send Rackham a telegram or something to make sure he’s still there?’

‘I’ve often stayed in Paris with Giles and he always uses the same hotel. I know he’ll be there.’

Kitty glanced up as Jem came down the stairs behind her. ‘Jem, make her see sense.’

‘I think Bella knows what she’s doing.’

‘You could help me find a cab,’ Bella said, pulling on her gloves.

‘I’ll do better than that,’ Jem said. ‘Kitty and me will come to Victoria with you and see you off on the boat train.’

‘We will?’ Kitty folded her arms across her chest. ‘You ought to be stopping her, not encouraging her in this wild goose chase.’

Jem brushed her cheek with the tip of his finger, smiling into her eyes. ‘You and me have a bit of business to do after we’ve seen Bella off.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘Wait and see.’

Kitty had to bite back tears as the train pulled out of Victoria Station. If anything happened to Bella she knew she would never forgive herself, and she prayed silently that Giles Rackham would prove to be as true as Bella believed him to be. Although she was appalled by Bella’s selfishness and her callous indifference to Leonie’s feelings, Kitty could not entirely blame Bella, who had been abandoned by all those she loved and trusted: first Maria, then Rackham, Desmond and now Edward. Beautiful, kind and selfish Bella. Kitty saw her suddenly as a child yearning to be loved. They had been through so much together that they had become as close as any sisters, and saying goodbye hurt.

She gripped Jem’s hand and he gave it a comforting squeeze, silently passing her his handkerchief. Wiping her eyes, Kitty allowed Jem to steer her out of the station to the hackney carriage stand. Having settled her inside, Jem gave instructions to the driver and leapt in beside her. The cabbie urged his horse out into the street, which was choked almost to a standstill with horse-drawn vehicles, motor cars and omnibuses.

‘Where are we going?’ demanded Kitty. ‘Why all the mystery?’

Jem sat back against the squabs and grinned. ‘There’s someone I want you to meet, Kitty.’

The streets of Knightsbridge were unfamiliar to Kitty, but in the end she gave up trying to get Jem to tell her where they were headed, and sat back to enjoy the view. The cab went at a spanking pace along Buckingham Palace Road, turning onto the Embankment, heading west towards Chelsea. Finally the cab drew to a halt outside a terraced Georgian townhouse.

Jem leapt out, paid the cabbie, and held up his hand to help Kitty onto the pavement. ‘You’re going to meet the man who’s been the making of me,’ Jem said, rapping on the brass lion’s-head door knocker. ‘Captain Madison, who’s been like a second father to me.’

Moments later, the door was opened by a plump, pleasant-faced woman, dressed in mourning black.

‘We’re not too early, I hope, Mrs Weston,’ Jem said, dragging off his cap.

‘No, indeed. Come inside.’ Nodding and smiling at Kitty, Mrs Weston held the door open.

They were shown into the front parlour that was simply, but comfortably, furnished with dark furniture and heavy green velvet curtains at the tall windows. It was, Kitty thought, looking around, a distinctly masculine room. The walls were covered with pictures of sailing ships and, jostling together on every available surface, there were curios from foreign parts. On the mantelshelf there was a startling array of clocks, all telling different times. Before she could ask Jem the reason for such an apparently mad display of time telling, the door opened and a thin, slightly built man with grey hair and whiskers entered. He clapped his hands on Jem’s shoulders in a rough mannish form of embrace and turned to Kitty with a beaming smile. His shrewd, grey eyes crinkled at the corners and Kitty found herself smiling back.

‘So this is the young lady you’ve told me so much about, Jem.’

‘Yes, Sir,’ Jem said, proudly. ‘This here is Kitty Cox. The prettiest girl in London.’

Jem hooked his arm around Kitty’s shoulders. ‘And this, Kitty, is Captain Jasper Madison.’

Instinctively, Kitty bobbed a curtsey, but the captain took her by the hand and gave it a squeeze that made her bones creak. ‘I’m delighted to meet you at last, Kitty.’

‘Me, too,’ Kitty said. ‘I’m pleased to meet you, Sir.’

Captain Madison took a seat in a big leather chair by the fire. ‘Well, sit down! Sit down, both of you. Make yourselves at home. Mrs Weston will be bringing us some tea and, if we’re very lucky, some of her delicious seed cake.’

Kitty settled herself on the edge of the sofa, folding her hands in her lap. ‘Has the poor lady lost someone close to her, Sir?’

Captain Madison looked puzzled for a moment and then he slapped his hands on his knees, chuckling. ‘My good Sophia has worn black ever since the accident at sea that took the life of her husband more than twenty years ago. D’you know, Kitty, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her wearing anything else, not in all those years.’

Encouraged by his twinkling smile, Kitty pointed to the clocks. ‘They’re all wrong, Sir, except one.’

‘They show the time in New York, Tokyo, Auckland, Hong Kong and Bombay,’ Jem said, standing with his back to the fire. ‘For instance, if you think about Auckland, it’s the middle of the night there.’

‘Well, I never did!’ Kitty stared at the clocks in amazement.

‘I’ve heard so much about you, Kitty,’ Captain Madison said, smiling. ‘And Jem didn’t exaggerate a bit.’

Kitty was saved from answering by Mrs Weston bustling in with a tray loaded with tea and cake. ‘There,’ she said, smiling at Kitty. ‘You can be mother, dear. Just ring the bell if you need any more hot water.’ She whisked herself out of the room, closing the door behind her.

‘I’ve explained everything to the cap’n,’ Jem said, taking the cup of tea from Kitty and passing it to Captain Madison. ‘I’m not going back to the ship.’

‘Tell him he’s making a big mistake,’ Kitty said, casting an appealing look at the captain. ‘Tell him, Sir.’

Captain Madison shook his head, sipped his tea and then replaced the cup firmly on its saucer. ‘Jem came to see me yesterday and we had a long talk. I’ve been thinking about it all night.’

‘I knew you’d come up with some good advice,’ Jem said, flinging himself down on the sofa beside Kitty. He snatched her hand and held it in a vice-like grip. ‘You just listen to what the captain has to say, Kitty.’

Captain Madison’s eyes twinkled but his lips curled in a rueful smile. ‘I’m not the oracle, Jem. Tell me one thing. How do you propose to earn a living if you leave the shipping company?’

Jem’s grip on Kitty’s fingers tightened. ‘There’s plenty of work down at the docks, Cap’n. I started as apprentice lighterman when I left school. I can always go back to that.’

‘No, Jem.’ Kitty pulled her hand free. ‘You’ve got a future in the merchant navy. I’ll not let you throw it away.’

‘But, Kitty –’

‘Just a minute.’ Captain Madison rose to his feet, took a tobacco jar from the mantelshelf and a pipe from a wooden rack, before settling himself back in his chair. ‘There are some men who are born to the sea; salt water runs in their veins and the moment they feel the swell of the ocean beneath the keel they can put life ashore out of their heads. But for others, being separated from their loved ones and being far from the sight of land is a constant misery. Jem’s father and I were men of the first sort. Jem is the latter.’

‘That’s true, Sir,’ Jem said, nodding. ‘I thought as how I could follow in my father’s footsteps, but I’ve done all the adventuring I want to. Now I want a home and a family and I’m prepared to work hard for it.’

Captain Madison lit his pipe, puffing clouds of blue smoke up the chimney. ‘Then listen to what I have to say.’

‘I’m listening, Sir.’

‘My next trip is to be my last. I’m an old man and I don’t mind admitting it. My seafaring days are behind me, but the thought of endless landlocked days have made me carry on at sea longer than I’d intended. I’ve no family of my own and no wife to share my sunset days.’