Metamorphosis (13 page)

At some point Jess stuck her head
out the door and told us the jam session was about to start and I needed to come
in. I really hadn’t thought about playing again this week, I was hoping there
would be other people who wanted to perform, especially since there were so
many more people this time. But
Evie
, Jess, and Dylan
insisted that we go in, so I went along with them. I really didn’t want to see
Ash. I had managed to avoid him since we had arrived at the house by staying
outside, but I really didn’t want to see him with or without female
companionship. I hoped he wasn’t stupid enough to pull the same shit with his
song choices again, I was irritated enough with him as it was and it wouldn’t
take much to make me just want to leave… probably with Dylan, and I really
wasn’t ready for that yet.

Thankfully, Ash, who surprisingly
appeared to be bimbo-less, didn’t try to embarrass me or send any secret
messages while he sang, at least not that I picked up on. He actually paid very
little attention to me whatsoever. I decided that this irritated me even more
than when he was trying to get under my skin, at least then I knew he was
thinking about me. I knew I should feel guilty thinking these thoughts about
Ash as I sat in Dylan’s lap, but I didn’t. Mostly because I knew that nothing
would ever happen between
me and Ash,
that had been
made clear more than once. Once again, Ash was fantastic. He played a mixture
of classics and current sounds, but all of them in his own style that kind of
reminded me of a mixture of Mason Jennings and Jack Johnson. His sound matched
his image so perfectly - if you closed your eyes, you could imagine yourself
sitting around a bonfire at the beach after a long day of sun and surf. It was
absorbing and therapeutic.

When he finished his last song,
Sitting
on the Dock of the Bay, which was absolutely
spectacular, he looked in my eyes for the first time since we had left the
restaurant and held the guitar out towards me. His mouth turned up in a slight
smile but it did not reach his eyes. I hoped he felt as distraught inside as I
did, but I doubted that I was the reason for the troubled look on his face. He
was probably just frustrated at his lack of female worshippers and the fact
that he apparently wasn’t getting laid two Saturday nights in a row. The
thought of all the girls he had slept with made me shudder and reminded me of
my exasperation with him. I grabbed the guitar from him with a short “Thanks,”
and took the seat that he had been sitting in.

I followed the mood that Ash had
set, a cheerful calm, by playing similar songs in style. As always, I lost
myself in my music and at times I forgot that anyone else was even in the room
with me; I was grateful for the opportunity to release some of my frustration.
Playing the guitar always soothed me.

Shortly after I was done, Jess,
Ash,
Evie
, and I headed back to their house just as
we did the week prior; I assumed Meg was already at their house. I was grateful
the rest of them were ready to leave as well because I was exhausted. The
goodbye kiss from Dylan was passionate and full of promises for more. I was
glad that the attraction between us continued after our first meeting, I had
secretly feared that I wouldn’t feel anything for him when I saw him again.
However, that wasn’t the case at all. Dylan had not only been better looking
than I had remembered, but his words were more flattering and his kisses tasted
much sweeter. I was very much looking forward to seeing him again. But he still
wasn’t Ash.

Evie
and Jess changed and went
straight to bed, but I opted for a shower first. They were both sound asleep by
the time I joined them in the bed, and once again, I found myself lying there
staring at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. After about an hour or so, I
tiptoed out of Jess’ room and went to the kitchen for a glass of milk. There
was just something about a glass of ice-cold milk that made me feel full and
content and always helped me fall asleep. I opened the refrigerator and my jaw
dropped. What in the hell?

Sitting on the top shelf was a
glass of milk, already poured, with a piece of paper taped to it. The word
“sorry” was still legible even though the condensation from the glass had
caused the ink to run. Was he serious with this? Without thinking, I marched
down the hall and flung open the door to Ash’s room.

“You are such a pompous, arrogant
asshole,” I growled at him. I wanted to scream at him at the top of my lungs,
but I didn’t want to wake up the others in the house, especially
Evie
, so I settled on a fierce growl. As I stood in the
doorway, it took my brain a moment to process the scene in front of me. On
Ash’s bed there were a bunch of pillows all stacked up with several towels
lying across them. It appeared that Ash was buried under the
pillows,
at least I assumed he was because I didn’t see him anywhere else.

“What in the world are you doing?”
I hissed.

His head peaked out from behind
one of the pillows and he flashed me his killer dimples and that
panty-drenching
smile. Oh Lord. I tried hard to keep my
resolve, but his nearness made it oh so hard.

“I was afraid you were going to
throw the glass of milk at me when you came in here. I didn’t think about using
a plastic cup until it was too late, so I thought I better take the necessary
precautions.” He looked pleased that I didn’t have the glass of milk in my
hands,
I was so infuriated when I saw it that I had left it
on the shelf in the refrigerator.

Staying by the door, I assessed
the absurdity of the entire situation. Ash still hadn’t moved either. His hair
hung in his face, messed up from hiding his head under the pillows, and he had
the biggest shit-ass grin across his face as if he was gloating. I tried hard
to fight the smile that tugged at my face and the laughter that threatened
escape in my throat. I was supposed to be irritated and annoyed at his
presence. If he wasn’t so damn irresistible…

“So you think you can just pour me
a glass of milk and write ‘sorry’ on a piece of paper and I’m going to forget
about how big of an ass you are?” I asked with a bit of forced anger.

“No, you’ll probably always think
I’m an ass, but I was hoping it would get you in my room talking to me, and it
looks like it worked,” he gloated.

I sighed, rolled my eyes, and
turned to walk away from him all in one frustrated motion. It was a move I had
perfected while dealing with my parents for so many years.

“Scarlett, wait, don’t leave…
please. I promise I won’t act like a cocky bastard anymore,” Ash pleaded.
“Well… at least I’ll try really hard not to.” I imagined the sexy smirk on his
face with his last remark without even looking at him.

“What do you want from me?” I
stopped a few steps into the hallway but didn’t turn around.

“Just to talk… I just want to talk
to you.”

Unable to resist the
near-begging
in his alluring voice, I spun my body back to
his room and walked right inside the doorway. I stayed as far away from him and
the bed as I could while still being in the room. “What? What do you want to
talk about?” I spat. I was just as irritated at myself for giving in to him so
easily as I was at him for… well, just for being him.

Ash pulled himself from under the
pillow mountain, knocking them all to the ground in the process. Again he only
wore a pair of cotton pajama pants and again my body came alive at the sight of
his bare torso.
The guy seriously could’ve been an underwear
model
,
he was that hot
. “You don’t have to
stand all the way over there, Butterfly. Close the door so we don’t wake anyone
up and come over here.” He patted the bed next to where he sat.

His voice was low and tempting,
and as hard as I tried to fight the seduction, I found myself wanting to do
exactly as he said. However, I mustered up the little determination I had and
snapped, “Don’t call me Butterfly.”

He cocked his head to the side and
frowned at me. “You didn’t tell me I couldn’t call you that last weekend.” His
words almost sounded like a question more than a statement.

“Well I had a brief spell of
insanity, a moment of weakness if you will, and thought you might actually be a
decent person, but tonight you confirmed my initial impression about you,” I
said matter-of-factly. “You are an arrogant, self-absorbed asshole that doesn’t
deserve the time of day from me. You are nothing but trouble, Ashton Walker.”

Surprisingly, instead of getting
defensive or trying to explain himself, he chose to agree with me. “You’re
right. I am all those things,” he said softly. “And even worse.” Ash stared so
intensely into my eyes, I wasn’t even sure he had blinked in minutes. Maybe he
wasn’t human… but his skin wasn’t cold… hmmm. Again I had to push my vampire
fantasies to the back of my thoughts. Damn you, Stephanie Meyer and your sexy
ass vampires.

He got off the bed and started
walking towards me. I felt like I was in a National Geographic documentary on
animal predators and their prey, and there was no doubt which one of us was the
prey.
Evie
was going to shoot me. I tried to keep my
body in control as he approached me, but my heart would not slow down and I was
trembling from within. I was hot and cold at the same time as I anticipated the
feel of his skin on mine. Ash closed the door behind me and then reached out
with both of his hands and grabbed mine, sending
goosebumps
up my arms. I hoped he didn’t notice.

“Scarlett, I’m sorry. I’m really
sorry. I can’t tell you that enough,” he began. “I really don’t mean to be an
ass to you, it’s just,
I
don’t know how to act around
you. I’ve never met anyone like you before.”

“What? You mean you’ve never met a
virgin before? That’s ridiculous.” I scoffed at him.

“No! Of course I have! That’s not
what I meant,” he retorted. “Look, like I told you last time, I feel this
strange connection to you.
I’m captivated by you
… I
haven’t stopped thinking about you since you left. No matter how hard I try,
every day I find myself wondering what you are doing, how your day was, if
you’re happy…

“And then tonight, you showed up
at dinner and I wasn’t expecting to see you. I didn’t even know y’all were
coming over and I just wasn’t prepared…” his voice faded off. “ I don’t know
how to act when I’m around you, Scarlett, and that really freaks me out.”

“What do you mean ‘how to act
around me?’ Just act like yourself. Why do you need to act any other way? And
why do you need to be prepared to see me? And why did you even bother texting
me last week after telling me that we didn’t need to have any sort of
relationship, not even a friendly one? You are the most confusing person I
know!” I tried to keep my voice down, but he was frustrating the shit out of
me. I didn’t know whether to slap him or kiss him or both. Why did I allow him
to get to me the way he did? I opted to do neither and let him continue to lure
me deeper into his den of inevitable heartbreak.

“I know I am, I know. If it makes
you feel any better, I’m just as confused myself. That’s what I’m trying to
tell you.” Ash paused. He pulled our
hands,
mine still
clasped inside of his, up to his chest and gazed down at me with his hypnotic
eyes. His voice was stern but not harsh. “I KNOW that I’m a cocky bastard that
isn’t nearly good enough for you. I KNOW that you don’t need the bullshit that
comes along with me in your life. I KNOW that as hard as I try to not hurt you,
I will - somehow, someway… it’s just what I do. And because of that, I KNOW
that I need to stay away from you.” He stopped momentarily and gave me a
genuine smile, one that radiated in his eyes. He leaned his forehead down so
that it was pressed against mine and continued in a much softer, heartfelt
tone. “But after seeing you again tonight, I KNOW that it’s impossible for me
keep my distance from you. I want you…
no,
I need you
to be a part of my life. I know it sounds absurd, hell we hardly know anything
about one another, but there’s just something about you that tells me I need to
keep you close. ”

I continued to look into his eyes,
mesmerized by not only his voice
but
the sweet words
that flowed from his lips. I didn’t say a word… I couldn’t. I was stunned
silent. Ash then led us over to his bed and we climbed onto it, sitting crossed
leg facing one another. He reclaimed my hands in his once we were settled and
he continued talking.

“I’ve been thinking about this all
night,” he admitted. “And no matter how fascinating I find you, how much I
would love to touch you and kiss you…” I inhaled sharply and my body stiffened
as his words triggered thoughts of his hands and mouth exploring every part of
my body.

“I can’t,” he choked. My body slouched
in disappointment and I exhaled louder than I expected. “Scarlett, you really
do need to experience the normal life of a young adult. Nothing about that has
changed. You need this period of transformation to learn about who you are,
what you want. I told you that already. As much as I hate to even think about
it, you need to date guys and party and act a little crazy.” Ash paused and
looked as if he was trying to pull together the right words to express what he
wanted to say next. “The attraction, the connection, I feel towards you is so
strong, it scares me. I’m afraid if we were involved sexually, if I had a taste
of that sweet innocence, I would completely consume you… and that wouldn’t be
healthy for either of us. You need this time for yourself.