Microsoft Word - T108JustDesserts.doc (3 page)

pictures of men and women doing various sinful things as he

read some of the captions with a groan. “Top Ten Signs of a

Cheater… So your spouse is working late again… What

happens in Vegas you should know about…”

He sighed. During his twenty years on the police force

he’d taken down drug dealers, solved crimes, saved lives,

lost friends, and been shot. Now, in his supposedly golden

retirement years, he was going to be reduced to spying on

cheating spouses? He should have gone with his first idea for

retirement and opened a pizza joint. No, he should have

stayed on the force instead, eligible for retirement or not. At

only slightly over forty, he thought he wanted to try

something different with his life, something where he

couldn’t lose his partner and best friend to some crack head

with a gun. Once was enough.

Chances were currently looking good that he’d been

wrong in his career move.

The phone rang and he answered it with a growl that

could have sounded like ‘hello’.

“What is up your butt?” his sister Ellen’s voice asked.

“You are what’s up my butt! Do you know what this

company you talked me into joining does? They stalk

spouses and try to catch them cheating.”

“They’re private investigators. That’s what PIs do. Don’t

blame me. This is what you chose to do for a living after

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Cat Johnson

leaving the force. What did you expect?”

“I don’t know.” He leaned back in his chair and expelled

a loud breath of frustration. What had he expected? Not this,

that’s for sure.

“But you got the DSL installed all right?”

He let out a snort. “Yeah.” That was an hour of his life

he’d never get back. What a waste of time.

“Good. Now that you are online why don’t you go to one

of those dating sites and get yourself a woman. Maybe if you

got laid you’d stop being such a damn grump.”

“Ellen!” Hearing his sister talk about sex made his skin

crawl. Even if she was married with two kids, he didn’t like

to think too closely about how those kids came about.

“What? I’m only saying that maybe if you enrolled on a

dating website and got…”

“Enough. I’m not talking with you about this. I’ll be at

the nursing home in time for dinner with Mom. Will you be

there?”

“Aren’t I always? But in the meantime, think about what

I said.”

He shook his head. He’d think about it all right, right

after hell froze over.

Sam hung up with his annoying sister, stood and pushed

the power button on the computer…and then remembered he

was supposed to click on the damn Shut Down button with

the mouse. Oh well, he would deal with the ramifications

later, whatever they may be. If he had broken the computer,

he’d at least have an excuse for not taking any assignments

PDA emailed him.

Grabbing his leather jacket, he stepped into the hall and

pulled his door shut behind him. There would be just enough

time to lift some weights at the gym before he’d have to

leave to visit his mother. In the absence of any other sweaty

activities in his life, maybe a workout would get the

frustration he felt since retiring out of him.

Walking down the hall toward the elevator, he smiled at

the sight of his neighbor’s apartment door as he remembered

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Trilogy No. 108: Just Desserts

finding the two babes kneeling there the night before,

looking so guilty he’d almost laughed at them.

He wasn’t much for the Barbie doll type, but the

brunette with the smart mouth…he wouldn’t mind getting

sweaty with her one bit. The pleasant image of her on her

knees in the hall, and a few other places he’d like to see her

on her knees, such as his bedroom, followed him all the way

to the gym.

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Cat Johnson

“He didn’t dump you. That’s good news, right?” So why did

Jade sound as if she was nearly in tears as she whispered in

Donna’s ear over the phone?

“No, it’s not. He was kind of nervous all day and then

when the Chinese food delivery came and I went into his

wallet to see if he had any singles for the tip, he grabbed it

out of my hand like he was hiding something. He must have

her phone number, or a naked picture or…oh my

god…maybe even a condom in there!”

Donna considered that if he did, at least he was

practicing safe sex, but she kept that observance to herself.

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” she reassured, thinking that maybe it

might be something after all.

“Did you look for a bug or a private detective online for

me?”

Donna pursed her lips. She had meant to, but then she

got on Ebay and there were some incredible prices on

designer handbags and she really was in desperate need of a

new purse. “Um, no. I got busy. I’ll look right now.”

“I’ve got to go. Daniel just got out of the shower. I’ll call

you later.” Jade hung up.

Donna let out a big sigh, typed ‘surveillance equipment’

into the search engine box on her web browser and settled in

expecting some of the most boring online shopping she

would ever experience in her life.

The good news was that audio recorders came in all sorts

of interesting shapes and forms—disguised as pens, even in

wristwatches, one actually had a pink band and was kind of

cute. The bad news was that every site explicitly stated that

recording someone without his or her permission was illegal.

So why the hell were they selling all this stuff then? The

worse news was some of the stuff was really expensive and

none of it looked a) easy to use or b) easy to hide. Where

were all those little tiny bugs they showed on television that

you just stuck to the bottom of a table and then went home,

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Trilogy No. 108: Just Desserts

put on some headphones and listened?

Donna soon realized they were out of their element

trying to bug Daniel’s apartment themselves. They needed a

professional’s advice so she typed ‘Private Detectives’ into

the search field and started to peruse the various results.

One site distinctly stood out from the rest. It had nice

professional-looking pictures, a list of the top ten signs of a

cheater (she bookmarked that for Jade) and an online

information request form to fill out. Some of the detectives

had even been interviewed on Oprah as experts on cheating.

This was definitely showing promise. Maybe she could get

some free email advice so Jade wouldn’t have to actually

hire anyone. It couldn’t hurt to try.

She scrolled down through the list of all the detectives

affiliated with Private Detectives of America in the area.

There was one right there in the city. Samuel Smith.

That sounded like the name of a good old-fashioned private

detective if ever she heard one. Who was that old character’s

name, the famous private eye? Sam Spade?

Yup, you couldn’t go wrong with a PI by the name of

Sam. Donna pictured him sitting in his office behind a messy

banged up metal desk containing an old rotary phone and

lots of file folders and black and white photos. In fact, in her

mind, the whole scene was black and white and Sam was

wearing a 1940’s style hat. Perhaps it was a fedora…not that

she was exactly sure what a fedora looked like.

Her imagination was really running wild with her. Who

knew tracking an unfaithful boyfriend could conjure up such

romantic images in a girl? It probably helped that it wasn’t

her boyfriend they were tracking. She supposed if Daniel

really was cheating on Jade, it wouldn’t be romantic at all,

but for now the whole PI imagery really got Donna’s juices

flowing.

Sam Smith probably carried a gun strapped to his narrow

hips, just like the guy she and Jade had gotten caught by in

Daniel’s hallway… She was really going to have to get that

man out of her mind eventually, but until then, she’d enjoy

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Cat Johnson

picturing him behind her imaginary PI’s desk. He looked

even sexier in black and white.

With a deep breath, Donna clicked on the email link for

Samuel Smith, PI and began to compose what she hoped was

a convincing letter that would get Jade the help she needed.

~

Sam unlocked the door to his apartment, feeling more

wiped than if he’d run a marathon. He could get his butt

kicked on the mat at the gym and come home feeling less

exhausted than he did now after visiting his mother and

seeing the effects of the stroke. He only hoped when his time

came, he’d go down in a hail of gunfire and not waste away,

partially paralyzed.

On that cheery thought, he figured he might as well

check his new email account and get all the misery over with

at the same time. He sat through the nasty message telling

him that he’d shut down incorrectly and watched the

computer do its thing as all sorts of programs flashed across

the screen at him. Finally, when it seemed the damn thing

was done with whatever it was doing, he clicked on the

email icon. After slowly and carefully typing in his

password, he was surprised to find he had three messages.

“Enlarge your penis in thirty days,” he read the first

message aloud to himself. The second email was even worse.

“Please her in bed, hours of pleasure. Jesus!” Sam knew

there were perverts on the internet. Here was his concrete

proof. And for
this
pleasure he had to write the phone

company a big old check every month.

He deleted those two pieces of evidence of society’s

degradation and went to the next message, not holding much

hope it would be any different. He was soon very surprised.

Dear Mr. Smith,

I need your professional opinion. My friend, I’ll call her

Jade for the purposes of this email, suspects her boyfriend is

cheating on her. She is planning on bugging his apartment to

discover the truth. I am concerned because I believe this is

illegal and she could get in trouble. I hesitate to tell you this

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Trilogy No. 108: Just Desserts

and I hope that PIs go by the same rules as lawyers about

confidentiality, but we already got caught eavesdropping

outside his apartment door last night and I am concerned

about her. What do you recommend I do to help her discover

the truth without breaking the law? We don’t think she can

afford the rates a professional would charge but the

suspicion is tearing her apart and she is adamant about

discovering the truth.

Thank you for any advice you can provide.

Donna

Sam leaned back in his chair and laughed. Memories of

the prior night flooded his brain of the two girls with their

ears pressed against his neighbor’s apartment door, and of

the brunette grabbing her friend’s hand and calling her Jade.

What the hell were the odds there were two other women in

this city caught eavesdropping, one of them named Jade? It

had to be his girls and it had to be fate.

He let out a long slow breath, picturing Donna and her

big, frightened blue eyes as she lied to him about losing the

keys. He knew he would take this damn case and do what he

dreaded most, tail a cheating boyfriend, and he would

probably end up doing it for free. Damn it. His new career

was not looking very promising or lucrative so far, but

hopefully his sex life would be picking up. Maybe he and

this Donna could barter services. That was a tantalizing

thought.

With two fingers he painstakingly typed a reply asking

her for more information and saying he would like to

‘discuss the case further’. Yeah, the case,
that
was why he

hoped to eventually get together with her. Sure. He hit send

and anticipated her reply as his mind reeled with the

possibilities.

But as much as he had one demanding physical need that

he would like to satisfy, there was another that was far more

pressing at the moment. His stomach grumbled and his mind

turned to the Chinese take-out down the street. He may

have joined his mother for dinner, but he hadn't eaten any of

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Cat Johnson

that stuff they fed her that they called food. Gathering his

jacket and keys, the apartment door clicked behind him just