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Authors: Princess
any way I can."
It was a kind gesture, but I couldn't have Quinn as my wolf interpreter forever. She had a
right to live her own life.
I took a deep breath to compose myself. "I want to see him."
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Quinn led me to a large room with beds lining both sides. My hand flew to my mouth
when I saw Riley. He was the only person in the room. He laid on one of the middle beds, most
of his wolf body covered in bandages.
I walked slowly with Quinn at my side, her arm hooked around mine. Tears blurred my
vision. As I got closer to him, a feeling of déjà vu washed over me, but unlike the time I visited
my father in the hospital, the beeping sound from Riley's heart monitor told me he was still alive.
I broke down and cried once I reached his bed. There were bloodstains on his bandages.
He reeked of strong herbs and medicine, and had a splint on his left hind leg. He had his eyes
closed and tubes came out of his nose. Thin black wires stretched from the heart monitor and
stuck to his shaved chest.
I sat on the bed next to him. "Oh Riley," I sobbed.
I glided my hand over his head. Someone had cleaned most of the blood from his fur,
which left it stained pink. I continued to sob and stroke him affectionately.
I placed a tender kiss on his cheek and whispered in his ear, "I'm here, Riley. I won't
leave you." I lowered my voice in hopes that Quinn couldn't hear me. "You once asked me if I'd make love to you when you're a wolf." I sniffled, my voice shuddering. "I will when you're
feeling better. I still want to be your mate because I love you."
He whimpered. With a gasp, I pulled back to look at him. His eyes opened slowly and
focused on me. I smiled on the outside to offer comfort, but I was dying on the inside.
"It's okay, Riley. I'm here."
He whimpered louder and the sound pulled at my heartstrings. I took his front paw in my
hands. All of a sudden, his body shook. Quinn ran over and put a hand on his side to still him.
"Riley, you can't!" His eyes darted toward her. "I'm sorry, you can't---" She sobbed and quickly covered her mouth. Within seconds, her eyes filled with tears. Riley whimpered again
and looked back and forth between us. Quinn lowered her hand and whispered, "You can't shift
anymore," her lips quivering. "I'm so sorry." She smoothed the top of her brother's head.
Riley's eyes widened and he made a harsh sound. Then he thrashed against the bed as he
tried to shift. The bed shook violently from the force of his movements, the metal legs scraping
against the floor. Quinn and I both gasped in shock and tried to hold him still. The tubes fell out
of his nose, and the wires from his heart monitor strained and threatened to snap off.
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Quinn bent down and put her weight on top of him, but he wouldn't stop. His body jerked,
including his injured leg, and he yelped in pain. That's when he finally stopped struggling.
His eyes met mine and his front paws reached out toward me. I tried to understand what
he wanted, so I held them in my hands. Whimpering, his head lifted off the pillow and his tongue
darted out to lick his mouth. He repeated the action again as his neck stretched toward me.
"He wants to kiss you," Quinn said softly.
I leaned closer and let his tongue sweep over my lips. I returned the wolf's kiss, and then
pressed my lips to his mouth. He removed his paws from my grasp and put them on my
shoulders. He pulled me down toward his body and this time I knew what he wanted. I wrapped
my arms around him so we could hold each other.
This is how it’s going to be from now on?
I have to GUESS what he’s trying to tell me?
I buried my face into his fur and cried. Riley couldn't speak, but his long whimpers told me he
shared my feelings. I pulled back and caressed his face.
"I know you're hurting, sweetie, but everything will be okay." He stretched his neck
toward me again and I let him lick me. "I don't care if you can't be human. We'll still be together, and I'll be here when you're ready to come home."
His amber eyes appeared watery and I wondered if wolves could cry.
I heard footsteps approach and turned my head to see the doctor standing next to Quinn.
He wore a white lab coat and the typical stethoscope around his neck. I had never met him, but
he was an older man, probably around the sheriff's age, with dark brown hair. He looked at Riley
and me with a grin, but I saw weariness in his eyes.
"Hello Paige. I'm Dr. Brown. How are you?"
"Not well," I sniffled. I released Riley and wiped my aching eyes.
"Did Quinn tell you about Riley's condition?" I nodded. He moved to stand in front of me
and spoke softly. "I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do to heal him." He put a gentle hand on my shoulder. Then he looked at Riley. "He needs to rest now." He tried to put the tubes back in Riley's nose, but he growled and jerked his head away. Dr. Brown chuckled. "Okay, it's obvious
you don't need the oxygen anymore."
He checked the heart monitor and picked up a loose wire that had snapped from Riley's
chest. Riley didn't put up a fight this time, and let the doctor reattach it.
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When I stood from the bed, Riley made another gruff noise. He thrashed on the bed again
and stared at me with his eyes wide.
The doctor put firm hands on him. "Whoa! Riley, you need to relax or you'll hurt yourself.
You don't want to do that because you're already healing."
Riley whimpered and growled and I knew he was panicking. I stepped toward him and
stroked him soothingly. His body instantly relaxed.
"It's okay, Riley. Get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow. I'll come early in the morning
and see if you're awake. I'll spend the whole day with you. Would you like that?" His head
moved up and down against the pillow. I think he nodded. I kissed his mouth and held him for a
few seconds. When I released him, I turned to the doctor. "Can I speak to you for a minute?"
"Sure, we can go to my office."
I waved goodbye to Riley and he whimpered loudly again. I wanted to crawl in bed next
to him and stay there until he was well enough to go home, but didn't think the doctor would let
me. I had to exit the room quickly or else I never would.
Quinn followed us, but stopped in the hall and put her hand on my arm. "I'll wait for you
outside. When you're ready, come out front."
We hugged each other. "Thank you," I whispered.
"You're welcome," she whispered back. "Don't worry, we'll all help each other through
this." I released her and we shared a smile, both of us sniffling with teary eyes.
Dr. Brown's office was moderate in size with a wonderful view of the forest in the
distance. I sat on the other side of his desk while he took a seat across from me. He folded his
hands in front of him, his hazel eyes looking at me patiently.
I averted my gaze and looked at the clock on the wall. It was after midnight, but it felt
more like four A.M. That's probably because I felt exhausted, and my body ached as if I'd been
in another car accident. My eyes darted around his office and I saw framed doctorate degrees on
the wall, one from the University of Denver and another from Uppsala University in Sweden. He
had some awards and accolades on the wall and displayed on the shelf behind his desk. It was
obvious he was very educated, so I knew he was capable of answering my questions.
"Why can't you heal him?"
He sighed softly. "I'd like to explain something to you first, and then I'll tell you why I
can't heal him. We have a unique scanner constructed specifically for
Varulv
. It allows us to
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detect a special light inside of us. We call it The Light Within. We believe Máni and Freyja laid
their hands on our ancestor Erik Ulfr, and put a light inside of him so he and his descendants can
shape-shift into humans. In a healthy
Varulv
, the light shines brightly. If the body is injured, but the
Varulv
is still able to shape-shift, then the light is still bright. If the light is dim, this means the shape-shifting ability has not completely healed. This would show in a
Varulv
who has a part of their wolf anatomy that won't transform into a human part." He took a deep breath, but his
shoulders slumped. "I scanned Riley, and...there is no light." At that moment, my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach and my vision quickly blurred with tears. "So that tells me his shape-shifting ability will
not
heal and he cannot take human form. There is no way to bring the light back. Once it's gone...it's permanent." My lips quivered and I couldn't keep my tears at bay. Dr.
Brown handed me some tissues. "I'm sorry, Paige. I know this is hard for you."
I wiped my eyes and blew my nose. "I need to ask you something," I said sniffling. "Is it safe for me to be sexually intimate with him when he recovers?"
The doctor's eyes widened. "You can have intercourse, but Riley must be extremely
careful because he could cause you serious bodily harm." His voice softened. "But if you have patience with one another, it would be safe. I would caution though..." He cleared his throat.
"Will you allow me to speak frankly?"
"Yes, of course."
"I would caution becoming locked with him. That may be painful."
I scrunched my face in confusion. "What does that mean?"
"The base of a wolf penis becomes engorged and bulbous prior to ejaculation. It would
swell inside you and cause his body to lock with yours. If he were to pull out, it may be painful
for you. Now...it may
not
. Women's bodies are different and the vagina is able to stretch
considerably. To avoid becoming locked, I would suggest you be on top during intercourse. That
is, if Riley is willing to be submissive with you. If not, and he
does
lock with you, you have to wait for his penis to become flaccid so it retracts into its sheath."
I swallowed against the lump in my throat. The idea of making love to Riley in his wolf
form frightened me, but it was something I had promised him. Besides, he was stuck as a wolf
forever and it was my fault. Making love to him was the least I could do.
"What about the mating bite? Riley hasn't marked me, but I want him to. Will it hurt and
how long does it take to heal?"
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"You'll feel pain twice. During the initial bite, the pain only lasts a few seconds. Then
you'll feel pain after the effect has worn off, and that could be anywhere between fifteen minutes
to an hour. If you feel pain once the effect wears off, you should take the medicine I prescribed
for your arm. The hormone from Riley's mouth will aid in healing you quickly, but his bite will
leave a permanent mark."
Then I asked another dreaded question. "Can I still get pregnant?"
He nodded. "Yes. Although Riley is a wolf, he's still
Varulv
and we're able to procreate
with humans."
I swallowed hard again. "Would I give birth to a human baby?"
This time he hesitated. He stared into my eyes, and right then I knew what he would say.
"No, you would give birth to a wolf pup."
I gasped and dropped my gaze. As I stared at the top of his desk, my brain produced a
mental image of me lying on a hospital bed. Quinn and Riley are at my sides with Dr. Brown
sitting between my legs telling me to push. I'm sweating and breathing fast with my legs spread
wide and excruciating labor pains tearing through my abdomen. With an agonizing scream, I
finally push our child into the world, only to hear the whining sound of a wolf pup.
"Oh my God," I murmured.
"Our genes are dominant. Even though you're human, the child would be
Varulv
. Riley's
hormone would help your body carry the pup to full term, which is sixty-three days. So, you can
look forward to a very short pregnancy."
His last sentence sounded cheery, I still sat in a state of shock. If Riley and I had a child
in the future, who would teach them how to take their human form? I guess I would need Quinn
to be more than my wolf interpreter.
The doctor's voice brought me out of my reverie. "If you have more questions, you can
come see me here at my office. I even make house calls."
I looked up to see his friendly smile, so I returned the gesture. "Thank you."
Quinn drove me back to my cabin. I was exhausted, so I decided to try to sleep. I put on a
nightgown I had already worn since I didn't have anything clean to wear. Quinn walked into my