Midnight Frost (11 page)

When the others had drifted off to sleep, Kian found me wandering in the back garden, looking out at the moon.

“It's been a while since we've been alone together,” he said, putting his hand on my shoulder. “I've missed you.”

I turned my face upwards, letting him kiss me. “I missed you too.”

He sat next to me, his eyes gleaming. “This may be our last chance to be alone together for some time. We should make the most of it.”

In an instant my worries were forgotten. We were kissing, rolling around on the soft grass, my fingers fumbling with his pieces of armor.

“So many pieces of the Midnight Knight to take off,” I said. “In order to see Kian again!”

His armor was finally off, and I caressed his chest with my fingertips, my lips tracing the path to the scar that still sliced across his chest – the reminder of the Minotaur's horns that had killed him. “You have a scar here,” I whispered, as he caressed my hair.

“It'll heal,” he murmured sleepily.

“Funny!” I looked closer. “It looks like a star.” I traced its outlines. “No, not a star...something else. A snowflake. A snowflake surrounded by fire.”

He sat up straight. “A what?”

“A snowflake with fire.” I laughed. “It really does – I thought it was just my eyes at first, but I can see it now. It's almost as if you've been branded – no natural scar is that symmetrical.”

He was silent.

“What is it? Does that mean something?”

He did not reply, but only gathered me in his arms, kissing me harder than ever. The kiss was long and slow – the release of so many days' tension, days when we could see each other, but could never touch, never kiss...

“I want you to be my Queen, Breena,” he said.

“I want to be your Queen.” But I saw that his eyes were dark. Something was wrong.

“I need you by my side. With me, always – if you'll have me.”

“Of course I'll have you!” He'd never spoken like that before. “What do you mean?”

“You didn't swear,” he said. “You swore fealty to peace, to our mission – but not to me.”

“Not to the Midnight Knight, you mean,” I said. “That's not you – you said so yourself. It's just...part of the plan.”

“There's a legend about the Midnight Knight,” said Kian. “That on the eve of a great battle, he appeared on his steed, Steel, bearing a banner. The banner of his symbol. A snowflake, flanked by flames. The Frostfire symbol.”

I looked up in surprise. “And your scar...”

“Bears no small resemblance to that symbol. At first I thought, as you did – that it was but a necessary story to tell, a lie. I thought Arielle had seen the Knight in me because she wished to, not because of who I was. Now I'm not so sure...”

My heart swelled with pride. Could it be – that Kian really was the Midnight Knight we'd been waiting for? I'd always sensed it – that he was more than a mere Prince, more than just another fairy. There was a strength in him, a power, a courage that floored me. Whenever I looked into his eyes, I found myself overwhelmed by the magic within. And now the whole world – all of Feyland – would see that too.

“I understand why you didn't swear,” said Kian. “Right now, it would be impossible for you to give up your loyalty to Summer. You have sworn an oath to them. But one day...”

“I promise!” I said. “Believe me – I am waiting for the day. The day that I
can
swear fully – because there will be no Summer. No Winter. Just the Frostfire League – just a united Feyland. As it was in the old days. And on that day I will swear the fullest and deepest loyalty, call upon the most ancient magic. Binding myself to you as a knight as well as a Queen. And as your wife.”

Kian beamed with happiness, pulling me closer into a kiss. His mouth met mine, and my heart leaped with joy at the sensation. It felt so good to be with him again, after so long – it had been such agony watching him as he rode upon his new steed Steel, as he pushed his long black hair from his eyes, as he bathed in the sparkling rivers, his muscles rippling in the sun. Now I wanted nothing more than to tear off his armor, to give myself to him fully, to feel our embrace connect us even more closely than the deepest magic ever could.

“It won't be for a while,” he sighed. “And besides – you're already engaged.” He tried to make it into a joke, but I could see the pain behind his smile.

“It isn't real.”

“It
is
real,” he said. “For now – it is. And who knows – it may become necessary...if we want to keep the wolves involved.”

“But it would only be political – no matter what! You know that, Kian!” I stroked his hair, trying to forget the feeling of Logan's lips on mine. “I promise. And we'd be able to see each other...”

“Stolen moments,” Kian murmured into my shoulder. “Forbidden passion. Snatches of time where I can hold you, touch you, kiss you. How can I bear it? How can I bear to see you slip away? It feels that the closer we come to love, the more obstacles come in our way.”

“It's just an alliance,” I said.

“But is that all it is?” His enormous blue eyes searched my own, his gaze so intense that I shivered beneath it. “Do you really feel nothing else for him?”

“He's my friend,” I said. “I care for him.”

“Would you have died for him, too?” Kian closed his eyes, unwilling to let me see the pain I knew was unmistakably in his gaze. “If he had died – would you have given up your immortality for him?”

I couldn't lie to Kian. I loved him too much for that. “Yes,” I said quietly. “I would. He's one of my oldest friends. My
deepest
friends. I love him – as a friend.”

“And...as a lover?”

“I chose you, Kian,” I said, squeezing his hand.

“I can't get those images out of my head,” Kian said. “Seeing you with him. Your kiss – when you were engaged for real. Every night it appears in my nightmares – the two-headed beast. You and he, intertwined. Your mouth upon his lips. His hand twined in yours. You...
together
in that way. The two of you looked so happy...”

“It was a spell!”  I insisted. But I knew that I was deluding myself. I too dreamed of those same nights, too, but my dreams were not nightmares.

“I never want you to doubt, Breena. I never want you to doubt that your decision is right. I don't want to hold you back – and yet of course I want to hold you back! I war with my own feelings, my own thoughts – my anger and jealousy alongside my chivalry. I know what the honorable thing is to do, Breena. I have declared my love for you, and my knightly oath to you is an oath that will never die.”

He knelt at my feet. “It is my turn to swear fealty,” he said, kissing my hand. “I swear that I will wait for you as long as it takes, Breena. That I will love you forever, that there will be no other true love in my life but you. I swear fealty to you, Breena Malloy, the girl who is the strongest Queen of Feyland that I have known. I am, simply, yours.”

I felt my eyes fill with tears.

“I know what you feel for Logan,” he said. “I know things are still...complicated. The aftermath of a spell is not always easy. But if you decide – if you find that he is the one you love, I will do the honorable thing. I will step aside.”

“Kian, I never....”

“You don't have to say anything now, Breena. I only want you to know it. I want you to know that my loyalty to you, that my commitment to Frostfire and to peace – that nothing you do could ever change that.”

“But...the engagement....” I felt my lips trembling. How could I bear to live this lie – Kian in private, Logan in public? Letting my own feelings fly back and forth like a tennis ball – each kiss plunging me into deeper and deeper confusion.

“For now – from now – you are to be Logan's wife. You must...do what you wish. Whatever makes you happy.”

He turned away from me so that I could not see his face.

I put a hand on his shoulder.

“But we have tonight,” I said. “Maybe we only have tonight. So let's make it count, okay?”

He turned back to me, unable to resist a smile. I closed my eyes as I touched my lips to him – light, feather-soft. I slipped my tunic from my shoulders, shivering only a little in the Spring chill.

“I'll make you warm,” he whispered wrapping his arms around me, creating a flame that surrounded us in ice heat.

“My Midnight Knight!” I kissed his scar. “I know now why I lived – why Death let me slip through its fingers twice. It was so that I could save you. So that you could come – come fight. So that we could do this thing – this crazy, impossible peace, together.”

“Together,” he whispered, and twined his fingers through mine, kissing me with his Kian kiss that once again took my breath away.

Chapter 11

I
woke at dawn, wrapped tightly in Kian's arms. He was fast asleep, his head nuzzled into my shoulder-blade. I allowed myself a minute to gaze luxuriously at him, sleeping, his beautiful face in peace. Back in Gregory, he would be the most gorgeous man, with that rock star sexiness, full lips and silvery blue eyes. I sprang to my feet. I wanted nothing less than to leave his embrace – so warm, so comfortable, his muscles so hard and yet his caress so soft. But I knew how much trouble it would spell for both of us if we were found out here together. The secret that Logan and I were engaged in name only was one we had to keep for all our sakes. I dressed hastily, doing my best not to wake Kian. He looked so peaceful, lying dappled by sunlight, the pink dawn transforming his ordinarily marble skin into something approaching human tone. I pressed my fingers to my lips, kissing them and transferring my fingers to his scar. It wasn't a mere accident of shape, I knew. The design was too perfect, too designed, to be anything other than magical.

This was the Midnight Knight who lay before me. I had spent the night not only with Kian, my love, the man I knew, but with a legend. Hope and promise surged within me. And yet I bit my lip with worry. Last time the Midnight Knight had fought off the Dark Hordes, he had been dragged with them into the Gorge – never seen since. Was that to be Kian's destiny, too? I had worked so hard to bring him back from the brink of death – what if I lost him again?

I sighed. We had spoken no more of Logan since our conversation had given way to passion, but I knew that – for all the pleasures of the night before – things would only get harder from now on. Kian had to witness us kiss once – but it was worse than that. He knew. He knew – even as I tried to tell myself
I
did not know – that my feelings for Logan were unresolved.  I tried so hard to push them away, to forget about them, but this engagement was bringing memories to the surface that I never wanted to deal with.

Could it be possible, I wondered, as I looked at Kian's sleeping form? Was there such a thing as true love twice over – that I could love Kian with all my soul and still have enough left over to love Logan, too? The idea of losing either of them – of never seeing either of them again – made me want to die. Things were easier in the fairy tales I'd read as a child, I thought. In fairy tales, it was so easy who was the prince and who was the wicked villain – there were no complications. Princesses never had to worry about divided affections. But here I was, in a real-live fairy tale, and there were no such easy happily ever afters.

Even if I married Kian, I wondered, even if there came a time for us both to be the King and Queen of a United Feyland – would I still dream of Logan? Would I still wonder – would I still think of him? Would he still haunt my dreams?

Kian groaned. “Morning,” he whispered, smiling at me. He traced a finger along my jawline.

I whispered. “We have to get back to camp before they notice we're gone.”