Midnight Soul (42 page)

Not to mention, he already had his arm around
me.

It being thus, he simply used it to drag me
right back where I was.

“I need to use the commode,” I lied.

“You so do not,” he returned.

“You’re correct. I
don’t
need to use
the commode. I need a moment away from you for I’m angry at you and
my temper is formidable. It being so, I’ve found it best, if I
can’t use it to an advantage, to absent myself when it flares.”

“Franka, to make things clear, just in case
the impossible is happening and you’re missing any of this, what I
want from you is not just sex. It’s anything you got to give to me.
Including your formidable temper. So, babe, if you got somethin’ to
say, say it. And if you don’t mind, it’d be cool you started with
telling me why
you’re
pissed when you just said straight out
that you thought all I wanted from you was being open to fuck
you.”

By the gods!

How on earth could he think that’s what I
said?

“I did not say any such thing,” I
rejoined.

“You did.”

“I did not.”

“I got a good memory but I don’t need it
seein’ as it wasn’t even two minutes ago you said, ‘you wish our
direction to be about you being open to have sex with me.’ Are you
denying that now?” he asked.

“Of course not,” I answered.

Noc pulled slightly away, the temperature in
the room decreased and that chill frosted his words as he
commanded, “So again, explain to me how it is you’re pissed when
you just said all I’m angling for is your pussy, which means you
think that’s all I’ve
been
angling for when it comes to
you.”

Bloody hell!

He’d lost his mind!

“I did not say that, Noc,” I snapped.

He pulled away further and his voice started
rising when he returned, “You fuckin’ did, Franka, and you just
fuckin’
confirmed
you did.”

My voice was rising too. “I did not,
Noctorno!”

“Do not call me that,” he gritted between his
teeth.

“Do not claim I mean ridiculous, offensive
things when I don’t,” I retorted.

“Then tell me what you meant,” he
ordered.

“You’re fond of me,” I bit out.

“Yeah,” he bit back.

“You missed me when we were apart.”

“Uh…
yeah
, been over that. What’s
this—?”

I interrupted him. “And you’re very aware I
felt the same for you with both. So, my assumption, indeed my
hope
would be that what we had would remain. Being fond of
each other. Enjoying each other’s company and therefore spending a
goodly amount of time in it. But our direction…
now
…is
the
addition
that you wish to be open to have sex with me.”

He had no reply to that.

This was not a surprise.

He’d jumped to conclusions, he should have
known better and, again, I had no direct experience, but I would
assert it was a good guess that a man such as him—regardless of the
profoundness of his ability to be gentle and kind—would have an
overabundance of pride.

So when he was wrong he would not be eager to
admit that.

This was something that angered me even
more.

And because of that, I did not keep my mouth
shut.

“I can’t imagine how, in all the time you’ve
spent with me, Noctorno, that you would ever consider I’d think
such about you. I have a midnight soul, it’s true, but light shines
upon it every once in a while. I feel its warmth when it does and
it means everything to me.
Everything
. So much of
everything, you’ve given me your light and there are precisely five
beings I’d take a lash for…Kristian, Josette, Timofei, Frantz
and you
.”

“Frannie—” he whispered, his tone much
changed.

But I was angry.

In other words, there was no stopping me.

“And just in case
you
missed any of
it, I thoroughly enjoyed your lovemaking. I’ve never had the like.
It’s abandoned. It’s somehow freeing. You make even when I’m giving
something to you about you giving something to me, and I don’t know
how you accomplish that but it’s a thing of beauty. So, to be
honest, even if I didn’t have all the other parts of Noctorno
Hawthorne that you’ve given me, parts I cherish, I would not mind
in the slightest that all you wanted was my pussy.”

He again did not reply.

I had nothing more to say and since he wasn’t
letting me go, I was forced to wait it out for it was undignified
to struggle.

As I waited, I started making plans, doing
this in my head. These being finding Valentine with magic,
demanding she come, take me to her and Josette, and that she do
this immediately. If she did not, I’d do it and she’d not yet
taught me how to spirit myself. She told me not to practice without
her either.

“The results,
chérie
, if you did
something wrong, could be drastic,” she’d warned.

If she didn’t do it, I still was going to. I
didn’t care if I ended up in oblivion (for a spell, that obviously
wouldn’t do for eternity).

Suddenly it occurred to me that Noc was no
longer pulled away and the temperature of the room was no longer
chilled by his mood, this making me focus on his shadowed face
again.

It was as if he felt my focus, for the
instant I did he asked, “You done?”

“With what?” I queried.

“Telling me off.”

“Yes,” I answered.

“And while you were seething after you did
that, did you plot my murder, visualize beating the crap outta me
or make your plan to contact Valentine and have her come and get
you?”

This question made me recall a conversation
I’d had with Cora months ago where she was describing, at some
length, the investigative prowess of the “police” in her old world.
I knew nothing of the skills or duties of the city guard and had
never had any interest (though, when Cora was speaking, I was all
ears).

What Cora said about this was impressive, and
not simply because I knew Noc engaged in these activities and I
thought everything about him was impressive.

However, having a naked man in bed with you
and being in the middle of an argument with said man who also had
what appeared to be significant powers of insight, was vexing.

“I’ll be contacting Valentine,” I shared.

“No you won’t.”

Gods.

How very Noc.

I sighed and looked to the dark ceiling.

“Midnight soul?” This question came not with
the nuance of humor that had been threading his tone but with
something solemn.

I looked back at him.

“You are aware you’re in bed with Franka
Drakkar, not my twin of this world, aren’t you?”

It was then I wondered about my twin in this
world, something I’d never thought to do.

Gods, I hoped she didn’t live in this very
city. How awkward would that be, running into her?

“Babe, you wanna focus on me, or are you
dialing up Valentine?”

I did as he not-exactly asked and focused on
him.

“I’m not ‘dialing up’ Valentine.”

“So you wanna focus on me? Seein’ as we’re
havin’ a kinda important conversation.”

He was right.

Drat.

“I’m focused on you, Noc,” I assured.

“Midnight soul?” he pressed.

“Yes?”

Abruptly, all I could see was a shadow, that
shadow being his face, which was a breath from mine.

“Is that what you think you’ve got?”

I felt my brows draw together, but since he
likely didn’t have night vision along with his awesome powers of
deduction, I stated my confusion.

“You find this surprising?”

“Frannie, you took your brother’s beatings
since you knew that was an option.”

To that, it was me who had no reply.

“That’s the most selfless thing I’ve ever
known,” he declared.

Why, oh why did we have to get into this?

However, in all fairness to Noc, we needed to
do just that. If he didn’t already know from things the others told
him, he needed to know who he had naked and lying abed with
him.

“You know I’ve done terrible things, Noc,” I
said quietly.

“I know you’ve acted like a complete bitch to
keep people from getting close, Frannie. But that doesn’t mean
dick.”

“I’m of my parents, and even midnight has a
hue. Their souls are void.”

“Your dad is an arrogant prick,” he returned.
“Your mom, I don’t know, but the minute she lost her power she lost
herself, so the only thing I can think about that, is that her
power
was
her, that and the position her husband gave her.
He’s an asshole. She’s worse, because in the end she’s actually
just nothing and really always has been.”

This was all very true.

Which made me wonder why he would question my
assertion.

“They made me,” I reiterated.

“They did and that’s the miracle of life,
babe. Some people get good from good. Some people are good and make
bad. And some people are like your folks. They’re wastes of space
and they created you and your brother, who are absolutely not.”

I adored that he thought that way.

It was just that it simply wasn’t true.

“You don’t know the person I was.”

“I know what you said to Maddie, right to her
face. Lo told me. He knows your story now, Frannie. Like everyone
else, he’s changed his tune about you. That said, he’s
still
pissed about that and he’ll never forgive you for it because that’s
the guy he is. He loves his wife, you wounded her, he’s never gonna
let that go. And I get that, what you said to her was not nice. It
was nasty.”

To be honest, though I wouldn’t share this
verbally at that juncture (or maybe ever), his example was a poor
one.

I did not know Maddie very well. She’d gone
before all had happened at the Winter Palace with me. But I still
did not quite understand her and Apollo’s relationship.

It was none of my business, this was true.
And it was without doubt I shouldn’t have spoken my mind to
Madeleine.

However, the circumstances were dire, my
lover was being tortured by malevolent witches, I was in the middle
of being caught committing treason against my country, and, at
least in that instance, I felt I should have some leeway.

“It was also the way you had to be because of
what those parents of yours did to you,” Noc concluded.

Suddenly afraid to touch him, but needing to
do so, I lifted my hand and wrapped it around his jaw before I said
quietly, “Noc, I fear you’re making excuses because you hold
feelings for me and this allows you not to see me for
me
. Or
the me I used to be before all that occurred.”

“Franka,” he replied instantly, shifting so
he was completely on top of me, his hands gliding all the way up my
back so he could use both to cup my head, “no offense, baby, but
that’s complete bullshit.”

Noc.

Bloody annoying.

Even in moments like these.

My hand still at his jaw moved to his
shoulder and shoved as I snapped, “It is not.”

“It’s what you tell yourself so you don’t
lose hold on everything you know, and I get that, sweetheart. The
way your reality has shifted the last months, all you’ve known gone
in a blink, that’s gotta be pretty fuckin’ scary. But everyone
knows it was all an act. It was always an act. They know the real
you. The only one who doesn’t is
you
.”

This was a refrain I’d heard before.

He was right about the new Franka.

But he was also very wrong for the new Franka
was just that.

New.

“It’s impossible for people, including you,
Noc, to know me better than me.”

One of his thumbs started drawing soothing
circles on the skin under my ear (which felt nice) while his other
hand shifted and he started stroking my jaw with that thumb (which
arguably felt nicer).

He did this while he murmured, “See I got
more work to do to get you out of that bad place.” His thumb at my
jaw shifted further and he rubbed it across my lips before he
dropped his head and did the same with his own lips. Once he’d done
that, against mine, he stated, “But I’ll get to that later. That’s
too heavy for now. And anyway, it’s time for number four.”

Number four?

Had he gone mad?

“Just to say, after arguing with you and all
the rest, I’m really not in the mood for another orgasm,” I shared
waspishly, saying words I never thought I’d
ever
say.

Especially about orgasms delivered by
Noc.

He nipped my lower lip with his teeth.

I couldn’t stop it…

I shivered.

“Bullshit,” he whispered, his amusement in
that one word abundantly clear.

“You do know you’re bloody annoying,” I
declared. “And
that
part of you I do not cherish, Noctorno
Hawthorne.
That
part of you I also did not miss. Not even
slightly.”

That was all a lie. I missed every part of
him. Including him being irksome.

“Mm,” he hummed against my lips, and, drat it
all!

I shivered again.

“You don’t care that at times I find you
annoying, do you?” I asked.

“Baby, you cherish me. Don’t give a fuck
there’s some parts you don’t. That shit’s gonna happen.” He slid
his mouth to my ear and whispered, “Just fuckin’ thrilled there are
parts you do.”

“I see,” I told the ceiling, “that I should
learn when to shut my mouth.”

He slid his lips back to mine and stated,
“Now is not that time.”

I started to say something and didn’t finish
because Noc was kissing my open mouth and doing it deeply.

And then he set about proving that it was,
indeed, bullshit that I was not in the mood for another orgasm.

Apparently, I was.

In fact, apparently, I was in the mood for
two.

* * * * *