Midnight Under the Mistletoe (11 page)

It was after ten when they began to break up. He helped clean
until he was told to put his foot up. Finally he went with Emma back to her
parents’ house. Tonight, everyone was heading home except her younger brother,
and Zach wanted to return to her apartment and be alone with her.

Instead, they sat up talking to Bobby until one in the morning.
While Bobby and Emma talked about Bobby’s school year, Zach looked at the
Christmas tree. He had counted eight Christmas trees of various types and sizes
that had been set up and decorated in the Hillman home.

Besides celebrating Thanksgiving, he was immersed in Christmas.
The mantels in the family room and living room were covered in greenery and red
bows. Decorations were everywhere he looked. No wonder she had tried to decorate
the ranch a little. His attention shifted to Emma and his longing to be alone
with her increased.

Finally, when Bobby went to bed half an hour later, Emma came
to sit by him. He made room for her and she leaned against his chest, his arm
around her and her feet beside his on the sofa.

“It’s been fun, Emma. You have a great family.”

“You really mean that?” she asked, twisting to look at him. She
was in his arms, her face so close to his. “I love Thanksgiving,” she said,
turning and settling back against him. “I love Christmas. Look at the tree. It’s
beautiful and so many ornaments remind me of a special thing or person or time.
I couldn’t bear Christmas without a tree.”

“I’m not as tied in to Christmas as you well know by now.”

“You should get into the spirit and enjoy Christmas. If you
did, you would never return to spending it the way you do now.” She yawned and
stretched. “I’m ready to turn in, Zach.” She stood and he came to his feet. She
walked to the tree and carefully lifted free a glass Santa to show to him. “This
is my favorite.”

He looked at the ornament and her delicate, warm hand. “I hope
you have years of wonderful Christmases,” he said quietly.

“I hope you do, too.”

“This is turning into one so far.”

“It’s Thanksgiving and the start of the Christmas holiday.
There’s a month to go.” She returned the Santa to the tree. “I love each
ornament, Zach.” He came to stand beside her and put his arm around her waist.
“Look at our reflection,” she said, touching a shiny green ball.

“I’m going to start carrying a sprig of mistletoe in my
pocket,” he said, turning her to him to kiss her.

His arm tightened around her waist and she slipped her arms
around him, kissing him while her pulse drummed. She quivered while desire
ignited. Finally, she raised her head. “We should go to bed.”

“If only you would always say that at the ranch,” he replied.
He smiled and kept his arm around her waist to walk beside her as they headed
toward the stairs.

“Night, Zach,” she said and disappeared into the room where she
slept. In his own room, he lay in bed with his hands behind his head, thinking
about the day and the evening with her and her family. He couldn’t imagine
spending every weekend this way, but sometimes it would be fun. He still thought
she was missing out on a wonderful world and when his foot was healed, he would
try to show her some place exciting out of Texas since she had never even been
beyond the boundaries of the Lone Star state. As soon as he thought of traveling
with her, he knew it would never happen. When the job ended, she would go out of
his life. She had been correct when she said they had vastly different
lifestyles. Neither one was the right person for the other in even a casual
way.

In spite of that knowledge, his common sense, caution and
experience, he couldn’t stop wanting her and he couldn’t shake her out of his
thoughts.

He finally drifted to sleep, still yearning to be alone with
her.

* * *

After Sunday dinner, Zach and Emma left for the
ranch.

She drove again while he sat with his foot propped up across
the backseat and resting on bags placed on the car floor.

“You have a nice family. I see why you value your weekends.
Your family shows they enjoy being together.”

“Thank you. You seemed to like being with your brother and his
family.”

“I do, but I don’t think my brothers and I have the closeness
your family does.”

Emma could see Zach in the rearview mirror. “You can have that
closeness. From what you’ve said, you’re all congenial. Maybe you are alone so
much because you keep up your guard, Zach. It might carry over from childhood
and times you were alone. Life’s different now. You don’t have to keep
everything all bottled up. You can enjoy your brothers and now there’s a half
sister. You and Will seem very close.”

He sat in silence. She met his gaze when she glanced at him,
but then she had to turn her attention back to the road. “You might be right,”
he said finally. “I’ve never looked at it that way. I was disappointed as a kid.
So were they. We were dumped and couldn’t even be home together some years. I
don’t know—maybe my feelings are a guard left from childhood hurts. As a little
kid, I couldn’t keep from resenting it.”

“Well, the nice thing now is that you don’t have to be alone,”
she said, smiling at him.

“Maybe you’re right. I’ll admit it’s fun when my brothers are
together. And now I enjoy having Caroline and Ava there, too. Your family
certainly has a great time together.”

“We do and in a crunch, we can count on each other too. I’m
happy you came with me.”

“I enjoyed the weekend. Neither of your brothers were thrilled.
I got looks from them the whole time. If they intended to send me warnings, they
succeeded.”

“Pay no attention to them. You’ll never see them again.”

Zach smiled and looked at her as she glanced in the rearview
mirror at him. “I’m not invited back?”

Emma felt her cheeks flush. “Of course you are. Whenever you
would like to go home with me. I just figured you wouldn’t want to again. I sort
of trapped you into this time.”

He grinned. “I’m teasing you.”

“Zach, would you like to come home with me for Christmas?” she
asked sweetly. “We’ll have the whole family and they would be delighted to have
you.”

“No, they wouldn’t be delighted. Thank you for asking me. I’ll
stay home and give my foot a rest.”

“They would be pleased to see you again, except perhaps Connor,
but you can ignore him.”

“Home on the ranch is where I belong.”

When they stepped inside the empty ranch house, Zach dropped
their bags and switched off alarms. As she picked up her bag, he turned to take
it from her and set it back on the floor. He slipped his arm around her waist.
“Now what I’ve waited all weekend to do,” he said in a husky voice. “You do owe
me.”

Six

W
hen his mouth covered hers, her heart
lurched. Wrapping both arms around his neck, she pressed tightly against him.
His mouth was warm, insistent, and she kissed him eagerly. She clung to him,
returning his kiss while the air heated and her heartbeat thundered. How could
he melt her in seconds? Why did he weave such a spell with her? She didn’t care.
All she wanted at the moment was to hold and kiss him. She felt as starved to
make love as they had on the snowy weekend.

“Emma, I want you,” he whispered.

Each kiss was more volatile than the last. At the moment she
didn’t care about caution and what was wise in dealing with him. All she wanted
was to be in his arms and kissing him.

Still kissing her, he picked her up and carried her through the
house to the family room. He sat on the sofa, cradling her on his lap. Her hands
drifted over him while her heart raced. She was glad they were together. Running
his fingers in her hair, he kissed her. Why did this seem necessary? Why did his
loving seem so right and special? The questions were dim, vague speculation that
was blown away by passion.

She combed her fingers through his thick curls and played her
hand over his muscled chest.

His hand slipped beneath her T-shirt. His fingers were warm,
his hand calloused and faintly abrasive against her skin, a sensual, rough
texture that heightened feeling. In seconds he had pushed away her bra to caress
her. Pleasure streaked from his slightest touch, fanning sexual hunger to a
bigger flame. Emma sat up, her thick red hair falling on both sides of her face
as she tugged his T-shirt free and pulled it over his head. His eyes darkened
and he had her shirt whisked away in a flash.

Knowing she was pursuing a reckless course, but wanting him
desperately, she sat astride him and leaned forward. They embraced each other to
kiss, his sculpted, warm chest pressed against her with the mat of chest curls a
tantalizing texture.

Desire raged while she struggled to dredge up control. Dimly,
she thought about her fears of how hurt she would be when the job ended and she
told Zach goodbye. The hard knowledge that when that time came, he would be gone
permanently from her life was a cooling effect. And it hurt. Was she falling in
love with him? Was she
already
in love?

She leaned away slightly to frame his face with her hands. “To
my way of seeing, our continuing to make love is a road to disaster. I want to
back up a little and think about what we’re doing.” As she talked, she shifted
off Zach and stood in front of him. While he watched her, his fingers caressed
her, dallying along her hip and down her thigh, causing her to pause. She
inhaled sharply, closed her eyes and stood immobile while his hands created
magic and made her want to go back to kisses and loving him.

After seconds or minutes, she didn’t know, she grabbed his
wrists and opened her eyes. “Zach, wait.”

He stood, his arms wrapping around her. She ran her hands over
his chest. “I want you, Emma. I want to make love to you all night.”

“Part of me wants that. Part of me has enough sense to know
that’s a reckless course to follow. Getting involved with you isn’t what I hired
on to do. And that first day that’s what you agreed to avoid. I don’t want last
weekend every night until this job is over. If we do, I’ll never want to
leave.”

“I just know what we both want right now. Kisses don’t have one
thing to do with business or your job or mine. I wasn’t even going to keep you
that first day, but you proved to be such a damn good secretary, I did. Emma,
I’ve spent the past four days wanting you. I’ve been with you, watching you,
aching to hold and kiss you.”

His words echoed her feelings. Constantly through the holiday,
she had glanced at him, wanting to go somewhere they could be alone to kiss and
love and lose themselves as they had the weekend before. At the same time, she
knew the hopelessness of getting more deeply entangled with him.

“You and I are way too opposite to get closely involved. You
might not care at all and that means nothing to you, but it means a lot to me.
You saw my family. My lifestyle and background are totally different from yours.
If we continue to make love now, it will mean certain things on an emotional
level to me that lovemaking won’t to you. We’ll get more deeply involved with
each other. I can’t separate that from my deepest feelings.”

Standing, he reached out to take her into his arms again.
“We’ll just kiss. You say when to stop.”

“If we do this, Zach, you’ll have my heart.”

“Maybe you’ll have mine,” he whispered, showering kisses on her
temple to her cheek and then on her mouth. He kissed her insistently, holding
her close against him, ending her arguments. She wanted him and her hunger
overcame the logic, her caution, her arguments. She held him, kissing him with
fervor that grew. The weekend had been another chain binding her heart. She held
him tightly. She couldn’t stop now. Later, he picked her up, kissing her as he
carried her to the closest bedroom to make love to her.

* * *

Near dawn she stirred and rolled over to look at Zach
who lay sleeping beside her. She rose up, brushing a curl off his forehead. A
dark stubble covered his jaw. He was muscled and fit except for his injury that
would heal. With their loving and Zach going home with her, he became more
appealing each day. It didn’t matter. There was no way he could ever be the man
for her. No matter what her heart wanted. They were far too opposite. Even if
they both were wildly in love, there was no possibility she could ever accept
his lifestyle. She had told him if they continued making love, it would mean
more to her and it would hurt deeply when she had to break it off and leave. And
should he want her to stay, or wanted to marry her, which was impossible with a
man like Zach, she couldn’t accept. Not with his nomadic lifestyle.

While he had been good about the weekend with her family, she
suspected there was no likelihood he would ever settle. She hurt and the hurt
would grow worse later, but they were mismatched and neither wanted change.

He had met her family now and knew enough about her that he
should understand what she told him. She suspected this job would end soon
because he had a doctor’s appointment this week and she had noticed he was
getting around far better each day.

She studied him, with his shadowy long lashes on his cheeks. As
he slept, she took her time. Looking at his firm lips, she thought about their
kisses. Unable to resist, she leaned closer to kiss him lightly. His arm banded
her waist and his eyes opened lazily. He pulled her close to kiss her to make
love. She stopped thinking and gave herself to feeling.

At nine o’clock, she sat up and reached across him to get his
phone from a bedside table. “Zach, it’s after nine. We have to—”

He kissed her and stopped her announcement. In minutes he
raised his head. “We don’t really have to do anything except stay here in
bed.”

“Oh, yes, we do,” she said, stepping out of bed and tugging
free the sheet to wrap around herself. “We need to get back to our business
relationship. We’re already deep enough in a personal one. It’s time to slow
this part down.” He placed his hands behind his head, smiling and watching
her.

“I’ll see you in the office,” she said, scurrying out of the
room, praying she didn’t encounter Nigel before she got away from Zach and got
her clothes back on.

It was an hour before she had showered and dressed in fresh
jeans, a blue cotton shirt and loafers. With an eagerness she couldn’t curb, she
went downstairs to the office to find Zach sitting behind his desk.

He smiled when she came in and stood to come around his desk.
He looked sexy, more appealing than ever in fresh, tight jeans and a black
sweater. The warmth in his eyes held her immobile, unable to look away, and her
pulse drummed in her ear. Her breath caught as he closed the distance between
them to take her into his arms and kiss her a long time.

“Good morning,” he said in a deep voice that was like fur
wrapping around her.

“Good morning,” she whispered in return, aware she was in love
with him to the extent she might not ever get over it. This was a man she
absolutely had to get over. He would never be the man for her and she could
never be the woman for him.

“We weren’t going to do this in the office. Use some
self-control,” she teased, trying to make light of the moment and end it.

“Sure. For now,” he replied, heading to his desk. As Zach
circled his desk, she noticed that he no longer limped and she was certain he
would be able to go back to his normal life very soon and would no longer need
her. The thought of telling him goodbye hurt with a pain that ran deep. She had
faced the truth that she was in love with him. Hurt was inevitable.

They both were busy and lunch was brief, but he ate with her
and she was glad. She wanted to be with him and the clock was ticking. Their
time together would end too soon. She wanted more than just dining with him, of
course, but each time they made love, her heart was bound more tightly with
his.

* * *

Zach sat with work in front of him, but he couldn’t keep
from continually watching Emma. She was filing, moving around from desk to file
cabinet, paying no attention to him. The tight jeans molded her hips and long
legs. Her hair was tied behind her head with a ribbon and through lunch he had
wanted to reach over and untie it.

He should have told her goodbye when they got back last night
and he should have eaten lunch on his own today. He thought about her brother;
he had meant it when he had told Connor he didn’t want to hurt Emma. He glanced
at his desk calendar. He would go to the doctor tomorrow and he suspected he
would be told he had recovered and could return to his usual activities, which
meant her job would be over.

If someone had bet him everything he owned that he would go
home with a secretary who was a homebody deluxe, he would have lost every cent
he owned. All during the ride back in the car, he had longed to lean over the
seat to kiss her. When they arrived home, their lovemaking was inevitable. He
could not resist.

He thought of what she had said in the car about the way he was
with his family. Was his solitary life because he didn’t know how to open up
with his brothers or risk his emotions again and get them trampled as he had
when he was a child?

He was leaving the ranch and the country as soon as he could.
He would probably spend Christmas in Italy. He thought about the fun she would
have with her family and couldn’t keep from comparing that with thoughts about
him rattling around the house in Italy all alone. The Italian home didn’t hold
near the appeal it had a month earlier.

Thoughts of her heated him. He wanted her right now and he
wanted her in his bed again tonight. What would it be like to marry Emma and
have her in his bed each night? The question shocked him because it was the
first time he had contemplated even a thought of marriage with any woman he was
friends with. How emotionally entangled was he with Emma? She stirred responses
and emotions in him no other woman ever had. But there was no way he could have
a permanent relationship with her.

She made her choices and she knew the job would end soon and
they would part and not see each other again. There was absolutely no future in
seeing her after she returned to Dallas. This wasn’t the woman for him. Except
in bed. He couldn’t get enough of her there. Just watching her and thinking
about her, he was getting aroused.

Knowing he had to get his mind off her and cool down, he turned
to pick up the weekend mail, trying to concentrate on business.

It was almost four when Zach’s phone rang. Emma had closed her
computer and it looked as if she were clearing her desk to get ready to go. Zach
answered the phone to hear Will.

Zach turned to ice, swearing quietly, causing Emma to look at
him. “I’ll be there as fast as I can get there.” He replaced the phone.

“Caroline’s gone,” he said, glancing at Emma as he punched a
number on his cell phone while he came around his desk.

“Oh, no. How long ago?” Emma rushed to keep up with him. She
hurried beside him. “What happened? What will you do?”

“Go look for her. You can stay or you can come with me.” Zach
broke off to talk to his foreman. “Carl, Zach. Caroline’s dog ran off and she
went after it. They don’t know where she is. Organize the guys and get them to
head over to Will’s ranch to help look for her. I’m going now.” He listened and
then ended the call. He grabbed a jacket he kept in the back hallway. He tossed
her one of his. “Take this if you’re coming with me.”

She yanked on the heavy jacket, half running to keep up with
him.

“Will and Ava are in Dallas. They were going to the symphony,”
Zach explained as they hurried toward the eight-car garage. “They’re flying back
now.”

“How did Caroline disappear?”

“Muffy got out and Caroline went after her. The nanny, Rosalyn,
went after Caroline, but Rosalyn slipped and fell. They think she hit her head
on a rock because she lost consciousness briefly. When she regained
consciousness, Caroline was gone.” He was tempted to tell Emma to stay at the
ranch because he could go faster without her, but they probably would need
everyone they could get to help search for Caroline. His insides were a knot
thinking about the little girl wandering around on the ranch with night
coming.

“Thank heavens the weather is warmer than last week,” Emma
said, half running to keep up with his long stride.

“Will already has a chopper in the air and he’s calling Ryan.
He’ll notify the county sheriff after he talks to Ryan,” Zach said. He was
chilled with fear for Caroline and couldn’t wait to get to Will’s ranch to start
searching. Hazards spun in his mind and he tried to not think about them. How
long would it take Caroline to get to the highway? From what Will said, she must
have been near the house when last seen. He’d think forty minutes to an hour at
best before she could possibly reach the highway. He glanced at the sky. It
probably would be dark in another two hours.