Midsummer's Eve (64 page)

I believed then that never, as long as I lived, should I be able to forget that nightmare.

Nobody was quite sure why there had been a mutiny. Some said it was because the Sepoys had believed that their cartridges were greased with the fat of beef and pork which rendered them unclean in their eyes; others said they were in revolt against the East India Company. The general belief was that the Indians feared that we were imposing our civilization upon them. We were in possession of the Punjab and Oude, and they may have thought that we intended to take over the whole of India. The Sepoys had learned the art of battle from us … and now they turned it against us.

The whole country was shocked. People argued fiercely about what should be done … blaming this side and that as they always do from the safe haven far from the scene of strife.

There was great excitement when Lucknow was relieved and the garrison there saved.

Uncle Peter said that good had come out of it for now the administration of India was to pass from the East India Company to the Crown.

We had paid several visits to London. Grace was now installed in a house of her own. It was quite small, not very far from the house in the square. It was tall and narrow with four stories and two rooms on each floor. It had been bought from the money Lord John had left Jonnie; and Grace was allotted an income. It had all been amicably arranged by Uncle Peter.

We saw Grace frequently when we were in London. I sensed that she was not happy and I supposed that that was inevitable. She had lost Jonnie just as they were about to embark on a new life together.

She confided in me a little. She said that Helena was very kind to her and so were Matthew and Geoffrey, but she felt that her presence reminded them of their loss and she hesitated to visit them as often as she would have liked.

I told her that was nonsense. They would love to see her often. She was a consolation for their loss.

She replied that she felt even less inclined to go to the house in the square. Amaryllis was very kind to her but she felt that Uncle Peter entertained some suspicions still, although she knew that he had made many inquiries about the validity of her marriage. She was very relieved that he must have satisfied himself that she was truly married to Jonnie, because he had made all the necessary monetary arrangements.

“Of course I understand that,” said Grace. “I came to you and you helped me but I never forget that I was a kind of upper servant. Then I was received here … through the kindness of your mother. But I sometimes feel that Peter Lansdon does not entirely accept me. He has arranged the money of course, but I am not allowed to touch the capital. I get my income. I have this house … Sometimes I feel he is keeping everything in his hands … until he proves something.”

“You mustn’t think like that. He is a very wily business man. He suspects everyone and everything. It’s second nature to him. You mustn’t mind his being cautious, Grace. He can’t help it.”

“No, I suppose not. I wish I could entertain people. If Jonnie had lived I would have helped him in his work. I would have had all the influential people here.”

“I don’t think archaeology is like politics. It’s not a matter of meeting people but of finding out things.”

“I suppose you are right. I think perhaps I feel a little idle. Do you know, now and then I almost wish I were back in Scutari … that hospital … among all the horror. There was always plenty to do there … and Jonnie was alive.”

“I understand, Grace,” I said. “You must come down and stay with us for a while. My mother would be pleased.”

She did visit us; and when she was at Cador she insisted on making a dress for my mother and doing little bits of sewing for me.

Morwenna Pencarron came often to Cador and we visited her family in the house near the mine. It was rather a grand house. It had been an old manor and the Pencarrons had spent a lot of money on restoring it. The gardens were wonderful. The Pencarrons were quite homely people. Josiah Pencarron had been extremely successful with the mine he had owned before he came to this one. He was the complete business man. He thought business and talked it constantly; he was the sort of man who would be certain to succeed.

At the same time he was a loving father and husband; and great care was lavished on Morwenna … an only child. He used to say: “I want the best for my girl.”

And so I had come to my seventeenth birthday. I knew, of course, what that entailed.

“You’ll have to have a season,” said my mother. “Both your father and I agreed on that. You can’t stay down here. You’re growing up. We’re lucky to have family in London. That will help a lot. Aunt Amaryllis knows the ropes. She brought Helena out. And Helena will of course help.”

“That was a long time ago. I expect it has all changed now.”

“Oh, not so much as all that. Anyway we shall find out.”

“I hope you won’t expect me to walk off with the catch of the season.”

“My dear child, your father and I want you to be happy, that’s all.”

“I heard Helena say she hated every minute of it.”

“Well, Helena’s a very retiring sort of girl. You are not like that.”

“You didn’t have a season, Mama?”

“No. Because I went to Australia with my parents … and you know what happened there. Afterwards it seemed unnecessary.”

I smiled apologetically. I knew she was reminded of the death of her parents. It was the last thing I wanted to do.

I said: “Well, I suppose I shall find it amusing.”

“You will. You will enjoy it. And if nothing comes of it …”

“You mean if I don’t find a rich and handsome husband?”

“Angel!”

“Well, that is what it is all about, isn’t it?”

“My dear child, it gives you an opportunity to meet people. I know some girls suffer torments. They fear they will prove unattractive and nothing is more likely to make them so than that. I want you to go into all this in a carefree way. I’ve talked about it with your father. We certainly don’t want you to feel you are up for auction. Just enjoy the parties and if by chance you meet someone whom you think you can love, we shall be delighted. But don’t let it worry you. It will just give you a chance to go to places and meet all sorts of people. Whatever happens we have each other, don’t we? You’ve always been happy at home.”

I put my arms round her and kissed her.

“I am sure Aunt Amaryllis meant that with Helena, but I suppose she didn’t tell her. And I think Uncle Peter might have expected a good deal. I am lucky to have you and Papa.”

“I think we are lucky too. Your father thinks Jack will do a good job at Cador when the time comes.”

“Oh Heavens … that’s years and years away.”

“Yes, please God. But what I want you to know is that we are here … as long as you want us … no matter what.”

I had an impulse to tell her then of that incident which now seemed so long ago. I wondered what her reaction would be. It was almost irresistible … but not quite. She would be disturbed, worried. It would make me different in her eyes—not her innocent daughter any more. I could not do it. I did not want to disturb her. She was so happy in her cozy family cocoon. I could not spoil it with the grisly tale. So I said nothing.

Grace was very interested to hear of my proposed season.

“I hope I shall be able to take part in it,” she said.

“My dear Grace” replied my mother “everything will be taken care of.”

Grace’s face fell and my mother went on quickly. “Oh, I am sure you will be most useful. You have a style … an elegance … You could advise about clothes. Of course there are court dressmakers and people like that.”

“I understand,” said Grace. “But I should like to help if there is anything I can do. I get rather lonely and it would be so exciting.”

“There will be a great deal of preparation,” said my mother.

“I am sure you are going to enjoy it,” said Grace.

I was not so sure, but I promised myself that I would not attempt to look for a rich husband. I would make a turn-about of the whole procedure; and instead of being up for auction, I should inspect the gentlemen and if I did not like them, be they marquesses or dukes, I would refuse them. I laughed at myself. As Mrs. Penlock would say, “Opportunity would be a fine thing.”

But one could not enter into such an undertaking without thinking rather seriously about marriage. I remembered the two passions of my younger life: Jonnie and Ben. This was different. Those had been childish fancies. I had seen them both as heroes. I did not think that Ben was quite that. Jonnie might have proved to be one, and he would always remain one in my eyes because he had died before his claim to the title could be disproved. And in any case, I dramatically told myself, he had become another woman’s husband.

Grace and I rode over to the Pencarrons’.

“What a lovely old house this is,” she said.

“Oh yes,” I replied. “The Pencarrons have done wonders with it. My father said it was almost a ruin when they took over. They call it Pencarron Manor now and the mine is Pencarron Mine.”

“They must be very rich.”

“I suppose so. I believe the mine is very profitable and my father said Josiah Pencarron has other interests in the Duchy.”

Morwenna came running out to meet us.

She had grown a little plump and she had the rosy complexion of a country girl and little confidence in herself. I could never imagine why. She had a kindly nature and her parents were devoted to her—especially her father. I should have thought his almost besotted devotion might have made her quite conceited.

Mrs. Pencarron once told me that it had been a great disappointment to him that they had no son … until the day when Morwenna was born.

“She came rather late,” she said. “I’d thought I was too old to get a child. But she is all the more precious for that. Father said he wouldn’t change her for twenty boys.”

Morwenna was delighted to see Grace. She liked her. But then Morwenna liked everybody.

We went into the hall. It was essentially Tudor with enormous oak beams supporting the vaulted ceiling. The linen fold paneling on the walls had been painstakingly restored at great cost.

The staircase at one end of the hall had carved banisters decorated with the Tudor rose. There were arms on the wall … but of course not the Pencarrons’.

Josiah had imitated one or two features of Cador’s, and we were amused by this—and flattered.

He was ostentatiously gratified of his rise in life and although he would have greatly liked to have been born into the gentry he was proud that, by his wits and good sense, he had been able to live like one of them.

My father said it was most commendable for a man to have come so far; he had the greatest respect for him.

In fact, there was something very likable about all the Pencarrons.

Luncheon was served in the dining room which they used for a few guests; if there was a large company they would eat in the great hall—according to the old custom. But for this occasion it was, of course, the dining room—a beautifully proportioned room with high ceiling and wall tapestries which Josiah had bought with the house.

Conversation turned to my coming out.

“I shall go up to London,” I told them, “and be put through my paces. I believe one has to learn how to curtsy and walk backwards. There is a great deal to learn and I don’t know how long one is with Her Majesty. A matter of seconds I suppose. You curtsy … and that is it. You pass on and it is ‘Next, please.’ And for all that you have to have a special court dress and feathers and learn how to keep them steady and how to smile in the most genteel manner. You must not lose your balance when you curtsy. In fact, you must not make one mistake. Well … there wouldn’t be much time to, I suppose.”

“So you are to be presented to the Queen!” said Mrs. Pencarron in an awed voice. “My word, that’s something to be proud of.”

“I’m not sure how I feel about it.”

“Oh, go on with you,” said Mrs. Pencarron. “I reckon it’s a great honor, wouldn’t you Jos?”

“I would that,” replied Josiah. “And that’s what’s going to happen to you. Well, I never.”

They were interested to hear more about it. I told them all I knew which was not much, but they kept plying me with questions.

Josiah was looking at his daughter with loving pride.

“What do you say, Mother? I reckon our Morwenna would look a real treat in a court dress and feathers.”

Grace said: “I believe it is quite a sight to see all the carriages lined up in the street on their way to the Palace. Who will present you, Angelet?”

“I think it will probably be Helena. She has already been presented so she knows how to go on and then of course she is the wife of a prominent member of Parliament … and the mother of a hero …” My voice faltered a little as it always did when I mentioned Jonnie.

“I reckon it has to be someone like that,” said Mrs. Pencarron regretfully.

“It doesn’t have to be a relation,” said Grace. “Of course it’s a costly matter … but they seem to think it is what every girl needs to launch her into society.”

“I’d like to see our Morwenna there.”

“Oh no, Pa,” said Morwenna quickly. “It wouldn’t do for me.”

“And why not indeed?” Josiah was the important business man suddenly, bristling at the notion that there was something his little girl was not good enough to take part in.

“Do you really mean …” began Grace. “Do you really mean that you would like Morwenna to be presented at court?”

“Would that be allowed?” asked Mrs. Pencarron.

Grace smiled. “I shouldn’t think there would be any difficulty. You are doing good work down here … employing large numbers of men. You don’t have to be related to the presenter. I can see no reason why, if you wanted it, Morwenna and Angelet should not be presented together.”

Grace was looking at me and I was thinking what fun it would be to have Morwenna share in this ordeal with me. She was a very pleasant girl and I was fond of her. She might be a little dull; she always agreed with everything I said, but she was straightforward and reliable; and when people were as nice as Morwenna was, one should be prepared to put up with a little boredom.