Mindspeak (34 page)

Lexi, listen to me. Someone’s
inside your head. You need to wake up. Block them out. Block them out, Lexi.
Jack
sounded panicked.

Block them out? I can do that. Jack
taught me how. I pushed back along the edges of my mind. Reality swirled with
my dreams and mixed with my nightmares.

Lexi, can you still hear me? I’m
coming.

The figure reached for me. My
internal alarm sounded, and a small voice told me not to let him touch me. I
jumped back and rubbed my arms from my elbows to my shoulders in a hug. “Who
are you?”

“I just want to show you the truth.
I know you have a power they want. You could cure your grandmother and help so
many others in this world. Take away so much pain on this earth. Wouldn’t you
like that? Your grandmother would recognize you, and she would no longer feel
any pain.”

“I’d like that,” I whispered.

“Jack wants that, too, Lexi.”

“Jack?”

“You and he are a team. Together, you
could heal and comfort. You’d live a life of wealth and happily-ever-after.”

“I don’t care about wealth.”

“But you love your grandmother. You
don’t want to see her hurt, do you?”

“Of course not.” Was he threatening
me?

“And you love Jack.” I nodded. I did
love him. “And Jack loves you. He needs you, Lexi. That little girl will die
without you. Accept who you are, and you’ll be with Jack forever.”

“But I don’t know if I can help
Addison.”

“Of course you can. You were
created to do so. Jack will try to push you away, but you were made to help
people just like Addison and your grandmother. Don’t let Jack send you away. He
doesn’t have that right.”

I wanted to help others, didn’t I?
That’s why I wanted to become a doctor.

My gram had suffered from Alzheimer’s
for the past six years. She’d stopped recognizing me altogether five years ago.
Oh, what I would give for even one more conversation with her. To let her know
I loved her and that I would live my life to honor her and Dad. To take her
pain away.

Would that be wrong? I was so
confused. Would that infringe on God’s will?

“Lexi!” I felt pressure on both
arms. My head bobbled back and forth. Someone shook me, interrupting me from my
thoughts. “Lexi, wake up.”

The figure disappeared and in his
place was Jack. “Jack?”

“It happened again. You were sleepwalking.”

I looked around. “But someone was
here with me.”

“No one was here.”

“But…” I stared at the intensity of
Jack’s blue eyes.

“What did this person say?” Jack’s
hands continued to rub my arms.

“He said that I needed to accept
who I was.” I searched Jack’s face for the guidance I needed, but he didn’t
have the answers. Only I could decide what to do next. I knew exactly what that
was.

He smoothed the hair on either side
of my head. “You said it was a man?”

I tried to picture the figure. “I
think so. I thought I recognized the voice and the eyes, but…” I gave my head a
little shake. “Everything’s so unclear.”

Jack gazed intently at me. “You
have to go.” He reached in the satchel draped across his body and thrust a
small bag into my chest, forcing me to take hold. “Take these documents. Keep
them close. And tell no one.”

“Jack, no. I can’t run. And there’s
no way I’m leaving without telling Danielle.”

“You have to. What can I do to make
you understand?” He ran his hands through his hair, squeezing his eyes tight.
When his eyes returned to me, he spoke in a low, husky voice. “Lexi, someone
has already tried to kill you twice. If you refuse to do what they want, they’ll
try again. And if they succeed…” His voice cracked. He slid his hand around me,
settled it into the small of my back, and brought my body flush with his. “I
don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.” He kissed the top of my
head.

“If that’s true, how can you push
me away?” I thought of the figure’s words,
“Don’t let Jack send you away.”

He released me, held me at arms’
length. “You think I’d put you in danger just to keep you close? That would
make me one selfish jerk.”

I knew in that moment what I had to
do. “What now?” I asked.

He glanced at his watch. “You have
practice. You’ll only be a few minutes late, but you better hurry.”

I raised a brow. “You want me to go
to practice?”

“I want you to go about business as
usual. Act normal.”

“Normal,” I repeated, narrowing my
gaze. The last person who instructed me to go about my routine died in a car
explosion.

“Yes, and I’ll see you at the gala
tonight.”

“Tonight? And that’s it?” Dread
surged through my voice. “You’ll see me at the gala, and then send me on my
merry way?”

“This is for your own good, Lexi. I
won’t let them get to you.” He pushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “I’ll
do whatever it takes.”

Uninvited tears surfaced. This was
what I had wanted, right? To get away from this school. To live a normal life.
Become a doctor and help people with the love, kindness and the type of medical
care they teach in medical schools.

I didn’t want the kind of life Dad
had. The kind that played with human life by trial and error. Often error.

Jack’s eyes stared into mine, looking
for reassurance that I’d do what he proposed.

“I’ll see you tonight,” I said,
deflated.

The back of his hand brushed my
cheek. He slid his hand around to the back of my neck and leaned in. He tilted
his head. His lips touched mine softly at first then he pressed harder, taking
from me like it was his last chance. I felt the effects of the kiss everywhere.
A surge of energy started at his touch to my neck and traveled all the way to
my toes.

When he released me, he kept eye
contact and his lips curled into a slow smile. “We both know Dani will ask, so
I’d like to know if you’ll be my date tonight?”

A tear streamed down my face. Jack
wiped it away with his thumb. I nodded. Anything else and I’d lose the courage
to do what I had to do next.

With another quick kiss, Jack turned
and walked off toward the boys’ dorms. I took off in the direction of the
aquatic center.

Before I entered the building, I
pulled out my cell phone and called Seth. “It’s time I learned how this power
of mine works… I’ll figure out how to get in and out of Wellington unnoticed.
Just come get me.”

Chapter
Thirty-One

“How exactly does the ability work?”
I asked.

Gram sat up in her wheelchair knitting
by the window. Seth stood by the door while I knelt beside her. She smiled,
giving me that look I remembered getting every day after school when I was
younger.

I placed a hand on her forearm.

“In theory,” Seth began, “you have
to be able to imagine the injury or the disease. In this case, the diseased
brain.”

“Like I did when we were here
before.”

He nodded. “And you have to know
what her brain would look like if it were normal. In simplistic terms, you
would use your mind to move and massage the parts of the brain needing healing.”

I sat in a chair and leaned my
elbows into my knees. “So, basically, I have to have knowledge of the disease,
much like that of a doctor.” I leaned my face into my hands and rubbed. This
was hopeless. I was no doctor.

“Yes and no.” Seth moved further
into the room and stood closer to me. “You have much of the knowledge that you
need. You took the classes. Eventually, you’ll go to medical school and know
even more. But…”

I lifted my head when his voice
trailed off. “Go on.”

Across the room, Seth flipped
through Gram’s chart. “This is not about cutting a person’s brain open and
doing surgery.” He looked up from the chart and focused on me. “You were
created for this. You have been given a gift of healing.”

His words slid down my back like
ice cubes, chilling my very soul. “A gift,” I whispered. Could I turn my back
on a gift? Wasn’t I obligated to learn and appreciate the gifts I’m blessed
with in life?

This didn’t feel like a gift to me.
More like a curse. What if I failed?

Concern etched lines across his
forehead as he continued to flip through Gram’s chart.

“What is it?” I stood and walked
closer.

“Do you know full extent of your
grandmother’s health conditions?”

“You mean the Alzheimer’s?”

“It’s more than that, Lexi.”

I raised both brows, urging Seth to
continue.

“Your grandmother has an inoperable
cancer, and she and your father decided she would not undergo other treatments.”

“What?” I grabbed the chart from
him, but I had no idea how to read the dang thing. “Why would my father not
urge Gram to get the treatment she needed?”

“She has a very specific living
will in here. She doesn’t want to be treated. Just to be kept comfortable and
pain free, if possible.”

I backed away from him. Leaned
against the wall and bent over at the waist. So even if I wanted to cure Gram,
to have her recognize me one last time before I was out of her life forever, I
couldn’t. “So I won’t be able to help her? Not even a little?”

Gram’s knitting needle clattered to
the floor.

I rushed to her side, picked up her
needle and placed it gently in her shaky hand. “I am so sorry, Gram, I didn’t
know how to help you sooner.” If I’d only known. I sucked in an uneven breath.

“We don’t know if you even could
have helped her, Lexi.” Seth’s voice startled me. He stood close. “We don’t
know what you can do. Or at what age your ability would have developed. The
fact that I had to show you how to see her brain tells me that you might not be
ready yet. Those pills you were taking may take a while longer to wear off. Besides,
a condition like Alzheimer’s is tricky. There’s a lot to consider with a
disease like this.”

I spoke without looking at Seth. “What
about Addison? You don’t think I could help her, either?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“What are you saying?”

“Why are we even talking about
this? Aren’t you planning to run away tonight?”

I stared at my grandmother’s facial
features. She was beautiful. Each hard line leading away from her eyes
represented a life well-lived. Every laugh line along her lips represented a decade
of happy memories.

She had devoted so much of her life
to raising me. Made me self-sufficient. Showed me how to help others. How to
love.

What did I have to show for it?
What would be left of my life after tonight? Another new name. A new high
school transcript. Passport. License. A new me.

Would I be different, act different
with a new name? Would I regret not helping those I loved? Would I regret
leaving Jack behind?

He loved me. I saw it in his eyes
the night of our very first date.

I closed my eyes and bowed my head
onto the arm of Gram’s wheelchair. “Tell me what to do.”

“Jack thinks you should leave,”
Seth answered, though I wasn’t asking him. “I can’t say as I disagree with him.
It’s probably for the best.”

“Why are you helping me? Jack said
you would drive me to the bus station.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I just don’t get it.”

“You don’t need to.” Seth walked to
the window. He kept his back to me. “I found Jack for one reason. The same
reason I’m glad I found you. To give you the chance to know why you were
created and let you choose what you wanted to do with it.”

“And you’re willing to just let me walk
away.” Run, more like it. “Will people look for me if I run?”

Seth turned. His eyes bore into
mine. “There’s no doubt in my mind they’ll look for you and find you
eventually. You’ll need to always be moving. Always running.”

I didn’t want to hear any more. “Can
I have a moment alone with my grandmother before you take me back to
Wellington?”

~~~~

I entered the dorm room like a
zombie. Danielle was digging through her closet, thrilled to be getting all
dolled up for her debut into the art world, even if it was a stupid school
gala.

Where’d you go?

Jack’s voice inside my head sounded
nervous.
I had to say goodbye to Gram.

That’s good. I’m glad.

I could almost hear relief in Jack’s
thoughts. He didn’t even ask how I got to the nursing home and back. He
probably knew.

Can you meet me before the art
showing?
he asked.
I want to be alone with you before… Before the dance.

He wanted to say good-bye. I
swallowed hard. I couldn’t think about that right now.

“Lexi, are you even listening to
me?” Danielle shook two dresses in front of me. “Which one?”

I crossed an arm across my chest
and cupped my chin with the opposite hand. The dress on the right was a pale
pink dress, strapless, with a pleated skirt. Simple. Elegant. On the left hung
a black sheath dress. Tiny rhinestones decorated the straps.

Lexi? Did you hear me?

Yes, sorry. I’ll meet you.
Where? The stable?

No, on the roof. Twenty minutes.

Okay.

“Is something wrong?” Lexi dropped
the dresses to her side. “You hate them both.”

“No. Of course not. They’re both
lovely. One says, ‘I’m a sweet high school girl going off to prom with a guy
who has one thing on his mind.’ The other screams sophistication and ‘I’m an
artist going to my first art show’.”

“Well, that was easy. Basic black
it is.”

“Oh, honey. There’s nothing basic
about that gorgeous dress.”

“You think so? You like it?” she asked
as she slid it over her long, skinny legs—legs I’d donate a kidney for.

I had never heard such a lack of
confidence from my roommate. “Of course. It’s beautiful. And perfect for you.”