Mine to Fear (29 page)

Cynthia nods.

“
Run,” I say.

We all turn and run.

M
y legs ache
with the movement. Around us, people are falling to the ground, but
there's no stopping to help them if we want to make it out of this
alive. Jack's suddenly at my side, arm around me, pushing me
forward.

“
Faster,” he yells.

We meet Lukas up ahead in the forest, and he
springs the trap as soon as we cross. Us, the last ones left
standing that hadn't already made it out.

The trap was a backup plan. Something we
should have never had to use. And yet, here it is, whistling up in
bright colors. It should make anyone who tries to cross it fall
asleep and do the same thing to any spells crossing it's path,
making them heavy and slow until the spell wears off, long enough
for us to get away.

We keep running, eager to be away from this
place. My body is bruised and broken from the fight but not nearly
as bad as my heart. How could we have failed so miserably? At least
we're safe for now. Those of us still alive, that is. I glance back
to make certain the trap is doing its job.

It's not.

“
The Grand Chancellor has broken
through it,” I yell, panic overwhelming me.

The best we can do now is keep running.

Cynthia zaps a few spells behind us as we
go, a track-erasing spell, a wall spell. Lukas adds a few of his
own. I want to add something, but I'm so drained, I don't think
anything would help at all. At least they can offer something to
slow the Grand Chancellor down. They must slow him down enough,
because he doesn't appear in sight.

We run and run and run. We keep going until
my lungs are on fire and my legs burn. When we can't run anymore,
we change to a hurried walk, followed by more running. We put
several miles of forest between us and the house.

“
Are we far enough yet?” I gasp
out.

“
I don't…” Serena gasps out as well,
“think we'll ever be far enough.”

My heart burns with how true that statement
is.

***

After more running than I have ever done in
my life, we make it to a far off clearing and don't see any signs
of being followed, so we head home. Or to what used to be home. I'm
thinking with this new fall of our rebellion, that's going to have
to change.

“
Is everyone here? Who's missing?” I
say.

There are many from the six hundred that are
missing. More than I want to think on. Nelly among them. I can only
hope she's somewhere else and not dead or captured.

Other than Chadwick and the treacherous
Theodore, our group of leaders seems to be coming together. Except,
“Where's Tawny?”

“
I haven't seen her,” Jack
says.

“
Neither have I,” Cynthia
replies.

Sick dread weighs down my heart as I
remember seeing her on the field too close to the actions. I fall
to a sitting position, ending on the ground. I have lost one of the
heirs to the throne. She's probably dead.

My heart aches as I begin to cry. It's all
too much. I wanted this war to save lives, to save an entire
people. Instead, I've lost more than everyone had to begin with. I
have utterly failed not just myself, and the crown, but all of
Chardonia.

Someone puts a hand on my shoulder. I
glance up to find Jack, his own eyes filled with tears. We have
lost everything
.

Chapter
Fifty-Five

A
fter some
time, I pull myself together. I have to do what I can for the
people left. After all, we have a traitor who is probably, even
now, telling them where we are.

“
I think we should have everyone we
can moved to Envado.” I say to those left. But I know what that
decision means. Know who we're leaving behind. My words are clogged
with tears. “I don't want to, but I think it would be for the
best.”

Serena is crying now, even harder than I am.
“We can't leave Zade. We can't do it.”

My own tears come harder, the ache in my
chest a giant hole of agony. “We have to.”

Cynthia and Bethany gather us both in a hug,
tears on both their cheeks as well.

“
We'll try again,” I say. “We won't
just leave him there. We'll try again and again until we get him
out.
”

“
We will,” Serena says, though it
almost sounds more like a question.

“
We will. Somehow, we'll make it so
you two can have that wedding you've been waiting for.”

Her tears slow as she brushes them away, and
she nods.

“
Now, to the cave so we can start
evacuating people to Envado,” Cynthia says.

“
To Envado,” I say. To my home that's
no longer home but all I have left
.

Chapter
Fifty-Six

I
t's dark and
lonely just outside the cavern. I can't bring myself to go in,
though. To face my failure. To know lives were lost because I
pushed us to go. Loneliness seems a small repayment for that but
not nearly enough of one to make up for Chadwick.

My chest gives a painful squeeze. How can he
really be gone?

“
What are you doing out here all
alone?” Jack asks.

His company is already a soothing presence,
but one I don't know if I deserve. “Just thinking.”

“
Anything you'd like to talk
about?”

I rest my head on my knees. “I don't know.
It's all so jumbled and painful.”

“
I wish things could have turned out
differently.”

“
Who knew the Grand Chancellor would
be more powerful than all of us put together? There's going to be
no stopping him.”

“
Then we'll get away from
him.”

“
But what if he follows us to Envado?
What if he tries to take over my country as well?”

“
Then we'll have an even bigger group
to fight against him, yes?”

I nod. “That is true.”

“
And sooner or later he's going to
take on a group that is too big and powerful for him to
handle.”

“
I only wish that would have been us
today.”

“
So do I.”

“
How do you feel about Chadwick?” Jack
asks.

Those tears start to well again. The last
couple of days have been horrid to get through. “Guilty. I think
I'll always feel guilty. But grateful too. I'm not ready to go.
Something about him, though. He almost seemed ready. He loved me,
but knew I could never return those feelings.”

“
I'm sorry it had to end that way for
him. He was a good man.”

“
The best of men.”

Silence descends as I remember him and the
life he gave for me.

“
He wanted me to be happy, though. He
knew that we could never be. That's what he gave me. The ultimate
sacrifice so I could live and be happy.”

“
Do you think you can be happy after
his loss?”

“
It will take time to mourn him. Not
just him, but our loss. Everything we were trying to gain but
failed at. Happiness seems like a very distant thing right
now.”

“
I know what you mean,” he says. “As
far as I've come as a person, I wanted us to come farther as a
group. As a nation.”

“
And yet, here we are, running.” I
sigh.

“
Just think if you weren't here,
though. All these people we're getting to Envado. Would that happen
without you?”

“
Someone else from Envado would lead
them.”

“
But would they have led like you
did?”

Lead everyone to failure? Or maybe not. This
is a loss. One harder than I know how to deal with. But when I
think back on everything that happened. Everything I've
accomplished, maybe it's not so much of a failure.

Women know more magic, know what they
can do magic. The lower class knows there is a better way of life,
even if I couldn't give it to th
em
. Jack is a perfect example of this. He's
grown so much, and there's no knowing that someone else would have
been able to do that. The people I've helped, the lives I've
touched. No knowing at all if someone else could have done it. “I
suppose not.”

“
So you being here might not have
turned out like you were expecting, but it’s still critical to
saving a lot of people's lives.”

“
When you put it that way…”

“
You are great, Waverly.”

“
I want you to know something,” I say,
and then take a deep breath, steeling myself to say what needs to
be said. “I love you, Jack.”

Instantly, his arms are around me, warming
me. “I love you too.”

And then we're kissing. There's much sorrow
and pain in the kiss, but it's healing too. Like all the pain we
had knows that love is just what it needs to help it feel better.
The kiss deepens, and it's like a flood of emotions pouring through
me. I never want it to end.

His fingers tangle in my hair, pulling me
closer, and mine tangle in his. Pulled together like this, it feels
as if we can do anything. Conquer anything. Win anything. Even if
we can't, at least we have the love of each other.

My heart pounds as his lips move with
mine. If only it was as easier to heal all our problems as Jack is
at healing my heart
.

***

It's time to get us out of here and go to
Envado. Everyone else is gone. It's our turn. If it wasn't for the
love I have for Jack, and my girls and littlest new baby boy, I'd
feel hollow. My chest is threatening to feel hollow anyway. For all
we've been through, it just wasn't enough, and we've lost good
people during the process. And I still don't have Zade.

None of this was how it's supposed to be.
The Grand Chancellor has taken away everything. Our home is no
longer safe. The lives we lived were taken away. Our loved ones
stolen through imprisonment or death. Our hopes and dreams have
been stolen, whisked away by a man more powerful than one man
should be.

Other than having each other, nothing
is ou
rs.

If you enjoyed reading this book, please consider helping
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Mine to Tarnish (Mine Prequel)

You Are Mine
(Mine #1)

Mine to
Spell (Mine #2)

Mine to Fear (Mine #3)

Sacrifice of Mine (Mine #4)

Acknowledgments

There's so much to be grateful for when a
book is complete and this one is no exception. I put a lot of heart
and quirkiness into this book. I just love Waverly and the people
that helped me make her better.

Thank you to Karen C. Eddington for being
not only an incredible sister, but for always helping me make my
books better. Lori Hall, thank you for your last minute checking
and always being there to bounce thoughts and ideas. I don't know
what I'd do without you.

Big thanks to Sarah Canning for reading my
work and helping me improve it and for being a friend. Thanks to
Sharon Umbaugh for helping me find what I was missing and cleaning
things up. Sotia Lazu, thank you for putting up with such a messy
rough draft and helping me to turn it into something special.

An overwhelming thanks to my friends and
family. Rebecca Webb for encouraging me and being a true friend.
Tai, Xandria, and Will for being the most awesome kids ever and
always bragging up that mommy's an author. And the biggest thanks
to my most amazing husband. I love you!

About the Author

Amazon best
selling author Janeal Falor lives in Utah with her husband and
three children. In her non-writing time she teaches her kids to
make silly faces, cooks whatever strikes her fancy, and attempts to
cultivate a garden even when half the things she plants die. When
it's time for a break she can be found taking a scenic drive with
her family, fencing, or drinking hot chocolate.