Mine To Hold (19 page)

But I was scared when she was so still on
that sidewalk.
Fear had come back then, and he wouldn’t forget
the feel of its icy claws raking into him.

“I don’t want you to die for me,” Claire
said.

He leaned toward her. His finger slid down
her arm. She didn’t flinch at his touch that time.
So much
better.
“I have no intention of dying for you.”

He thought some of the tension left her
shoulders. “Good.”

But I would kill for you. I think that would
be far more effective.

“The police are working,” he murmured,
“bringing in their bomb experts. I’m sure they’ll compare this
blast with the one that took out Ethan. Bombers often have a
signature. It’ll take some time, but the authorities will be able
to determine if the attacker was the same.”

“What if we don’t have time?”

His fingers lightly caressed her. “We have
all the time we need.”

“Not if he’s hunting.”

He hated the fear in her eyes. “I’m good at
hunting, too.”

Her teeth pressed into her lower lip. “Your
time…in the military.”

“And after.” He had his own demolitions
expert coming in. Drake had stayed down in Alabama to learn more
about the blast that killed Ethan, but he was already on his way up
to New York.

“You killed, didn’t you?”

He glanced away from her. “Men die in battle
all the time.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“And you shouldn’t ask questions that you
don’t truly want answered.” He looked back at her. “You don’t want
to know, not really, do you?”

Her fingers curled around the pillow on the
couch. “Why would you say that?”

“Because it’s true. People like to see the
surface, not the darkness underneath.” Life was easier that
way.

Claire shook her head. “I’ve seen your
darkness all along.”

Her words caught him by surprise.

“But you have to tell me your secrets,”
Claire said as her eyes gleamed. “You know every one of mine. No
matter how painful, you know. Don’t you think I deserve to hear
yours, too?”

He rose from the couch. Paced away from her.
“What if you don’t like what you hear?”

I don’t want to lose her.

He hadn’t actually had anyone to lose, not
since his parents. But Claire—she mattered to him.

“Have you liked what you’ve heard about me?”
He heard the rustle of the couch cushions as Claire rose. “A woman
who tried to kill herself when she was sixteen. I mean, hey, she’s
got to be some prize—”

“
Stop.”
He whirled back toward her.
“You’re a survivor. Everything I’ve learned about you has just
strengthened that belief.”

Her gaze searched his. “Most people pity
me…or else they think I’m…pretending. That I’m a manipulator.”

“I see you for what you are.”

“Let me see you that way, too.” She stepped
toward him. Kept coming until her fingers lifted and pressed
against his chest, right over his heart. “I’m going to ask you some
questions now, and I want you to know that your answers won’t ever
leave this room.”

Her touch singed him.

“Have you killed?”

“Yes.”

“In battle?”

“During my tours, and then…after. Trace,
Drake, and I set up a security team of our own.”

She waited, watching him with a gaze that
seemed to see straight into his soul. The way her gaze always
did.

And he found himself saying more. “We focused
on retrieving very high-end assets. Businessmen, dignitaries who’d
been in the wrong place and been taken. Some of those guys were
held for money, some held in hopes of a power swap.”

Her head tilted as she studied him. “And your
job was to get those people out?”

“Normal channels wouldn’t work. Uncle Sam
didn’t want the wreckage coming back to his door…so our team worked
those cases.” His lips twisted. “That’s how I got my start in the
hotel business.” Talk about a career change. “One of those guys
thanked me with a hotel.”

“Um, that’s quite a thank you.”

He inclined his head. It sure had been, but
seeing as how he’d taken two bullets for the guy on that mission,
Noah thought they’d come out of the deal square. “I had my own
money, too, money left from my parents. I saved every dime while I
was working with Trace and Drake, and then one day, I decided that
I was done with that world.”

The world of killing and death and blood.

“I got out. I started fresh.” He looked down
at her hand. It looked so delicate against him.

“You don’t seem so bad to me,” Claire told
him.

Tell her.
“I’ve killed with guns. With
knives. I’ve attacked with my hands when they were the only weapons
left to me. Killing is a talent I have, one that the government
just honed even more for me.”

“But that’s not who you are now.”

“That’s who I will always be. When I see a
threat, I want to eliminate it.” He couldn’t get more blunt than
that. “And that’s what I do.”

Her lashes lowered. “Why don’t women last
more than a night with you?”

“What?”

“Drake said—”

Drake talked too much.

“He said that your lovers come and go. One
time is it for you.”

“I like sex.” She’d asked for his secrets.
He’d give her what he could. “I satisfy the need, then I move
on.”

“One time, then done?”

“I know that makes me sound like a bastard,
but ties just screw with your head.” He’d seen it happen. First
with Drake—and the man had been to hell and back because of that
painful mistake. Then the same weakness had twisted Trace.

Claire’s hand pulled away from Noah, but she
still stood close to him. “Why am I still here?”

Because I need you to be.

“Haven’t you satisfied the-the ‘need’
yet?”

“No,” he said, voice roughening, “I haven’t.
That’s the problem with you and me.”

Her tongue swiped over her lower lip.

Yeah, that’s the problem.

“The need doesn’t stop with you. The more I
have you, the more it grows. The more I want.” Until he felt like
the need was consuming him. “And I don’t want gentle and easy. I
don’t want rose petals sprinkled on the ground. I want you naked
and moaning. I want you screaming and clawing my back. I want
everything that I can get from you.”

I want to own you.

And he was starting to think…

The way you already own me.

Claire stared up at him.

“Scared yet?” Noah had to push her.

Claire shook her head.

You should be, Claire. With every moment
that passes, I get hooked on you even more.
He’d seen Drake
spiral, he’d seen Trace sink into near madness.

And now I’m on the brink.

The suite’s phone rang. Its pealing cry
seemed to echo around them. Noah didn’t move.

She still doesn’t know all that I’ve
done.
When she did, what would happen?

The phone rang again. Swearing, Noah headed
toward it. “
What?”
Noah snapped.

“Sir, it’s Janelle at the concierge desk.”
Her voice was soft as she said, “I know that you said no visitors
were allowed up to your floor, but there’s a very insistent
gentleman here right now.”

Noah glanced over his shoulder at Claire.
“What’s his name?”

“Austin Harrison.”

Harrison?
His hold tightened on the
phone. He’d done his research. He knew Austin was the senator’s
other son. Three years older than Ethan, Austin had seemed to make
keeping a low profile his priority. “You’re shitting me.”

“No, no, I’m not.”

“Keep him right there. I’m on my way.” He
slammed down the phone and marched for the door.

Claire beat him to that door. She blocked his
path with her body. “Who’s here?”

“I’m heading downstairs for just a moment.
I’ll be right back and—”

“No. No way. The last time you tried to go
off on your own, a building exploded.” She crossed her arms over
her chest and glared at him. “Who’s here?”

“Austin Harrison.”

Shock had her mouth dropping.

“And I’m going downstairs to talk with him
while you, baby, are staying right up here.”

“I’m coming—”

“Concussion, Claire.” Gently, but firmly, he
picked her up and carried her back to the couch. He put her down on
the cushions. Pulled a blanket over her. Kissed her. “You stay
here, and I’ll go deal with the bastard at the door.”

Her lips pressed into a determined line.

He wasn’t going to argue with Claire. The
last thing she needed right then was a confrontation. He headed for
the door. Opened it—

Talk about a bastard at the door.

Drake had his hand raised to knock.

“No one is supposed to get up to this floor.”
Noah glared at the two guards near the elevator. Guards who’d been
sent over from Weston Securities. Guards who were apparently damn
inadequate.

“Trace told them I was clear.” Drake smiled.
“Come on, you know that you can trust me.”

Yeah, he did. And that was why he yanked the
guy in the suite. “Keep Claire company until I get back.”

“Uh, wait, where are you—”

Noah shut the door behind him and stalked to
the elevator.

Austin Harrison.

Well, he’d met the other two members of the
family. Time to see if Austin was as much of a dick as they
were.

***

The guy had just twisted her into knots and
walked away. Claire shoved off her blanket and jumped to her feet.
She was going after him and—

“I think the idea was for us both to stay
put.” Drake flashed her a broad smile. “So don’t think you can just
bat those big baby blues at me, and get out of here.”

She glared at him.

His smile slowly faded. “You look like
shit.”

He was always such a charmer.

Drake’s hand lifted toward her face.

Instantly, Claire stepped back.

“Easy,” he murmured as he advanced. “I just
want to see the damage.”

She forced herself to stay still. “It’s just
a scratch.”

“A scratch that’s got you purple and black on
your temple.” His head cocked and his fingers feathered over her
cheek. “And I’m guessing the bandage is covering some
stitches?”

“A few.”

He whistled. “Bet that made Noah go
insane.”

She pushed his hand away. “Nearly getting
blown up made us both react that way.”

His hand caught hers. “Explain it to me.”

“What?”

“I’ve seen Noah touch you, and you act like a
cat getting stroked.”

She did
not.

“But I come close, and you tense up like
you’re afraid I’ll hit you.” His voice and eyes had gone flat. “I
don’t know what Noah told you about my past, but I only did what I
had
to do. Killing my lover—hell, no, that wasn’t my plan.
She went rogue. Turned on us all—”

Wow.
“He didn’t tell me anything.”

She knew Drake had killed in Chicago, but
that had been a fight-or-die situation. As for his past… “Like you
told me before, your past is your own.”

“So you don’t back away from me because you
think I’m a monster beneath the skin?”

His words made her pause. Made her realize…
“I back away because I think everyone has a monster inside.”

Wasn’t that what she’d learned from
Ethan?

From herself?

***

Austin Harrison stood near the concierge desk
in the lobby. Noah marched toward the guy, letting his gaze sweep
over the last remaining Harrison.

The guy was tall, broad-shouldered. Dressed
in a suit. Austin appeared tense, wary—good, because he should
be.

His hair was a dark blond, and it currently
looked as if the guy had spent hours shoving his hands through
it.

“This way,” Noah said, turning sharply to the
right. He wasn’t about to have a public fight with Harrison. No, it
was far better to do that in private.

Where no one can see what I’ll do.

Noah took the guy back to the hotel manager’s
office. The manager, Louis, had conveniently cleared out, per
Noah’s orders during a quick phone call mid-elevator ride.

Austin didn’t speak until they were secured
inside. As soon as the door shut, though, the guy said, “I’m not a
threat to you. Or to Claire Kramer.”

“I’m not so sure of that.”

Austin swallowed. His Adam’s apple bobbed.
“Whatever you’re doing…just…stop, okay? I’m not going to hurt
her.”

“What I’m doing?”

Austin’s gaze jerked around the office. “My
father. Ethan.”

He thinks I killed them?

“I don’t want to be next on Claire’s revenge
list.”

“You think Claire has a list?” Had the guy
not heard about the bombing? It had been all over the news.
How
the hell would he have missed that?

“If I were her, I would,” Austin muttered as
he yanked a hand through his hair. “I’d want revenge. Payback.”

“You aren’t Claire.”
She doesn’t think
like that.

Austin’s hand fell to his side. His eyes met
Noah’s. “I know you’re fucking her.”

“Yes, I am.” He wasn’t about to deny
something that gave him such satisfaction.

Austin exhaled on a rough sigh. “Are you
killing for her, too?”

Everyone sure seemed to think so. “You should
turn on the news. The radio. Read a paper.”

Austin’s eyebrows scrunched. “Wh-what?”

“But maybe you were flying up here, maybe you
missed that huge story, so I’ll just brief you.” He rolled back his
shoulders. “Someone tried to kill me
and
Claire with a bomb
last night.”

Austin backed up a step. He banged into the
desk.

“Claire isn’t the one who went after your
bastard of a father or your sick freak of a brother. Someone else
out there did that. Probably the same someone who tried to kill
us.”

“
Why?”

“I think we have to ask the bastard killing
that particular question.” He studied the man before him. “You
don’t reek of booze like your father.”