Mine to Hold (32 page)

“You must be damn close to the truth. And you work for the most important paper in his city, angel.” Tyler sighed. “There’s nothing more we can do tonight. Let’s just . . . try to unwind. We need to go to bed.”

He was right; it was late. Her fear warred with her anger. He could not only keep her safe but make her
feel
safe. Del always felt protected in his presence. But damn it, he’d kept the knowledge of Eric’s indiscretions a secret. She was furious and wondered what the hell else he’d keep from her in the future if she let him. It might not be rational, but that was how she felt.

“I know. But I want space. Can you just . . . let me spend some time alone for a while?”

His mouth flattened into a grim line. “You’re still angry with me?”

“No. Yes.” She paced. “I’m hurt that I wasn’t important enough for you to tell me the truth. That you didn’t realize how much I valued fidelity. Of course you didn’t. What am I thinking? It’s you I’m talking about.”

Tyler darted after her and grabbed her arm. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Like you should have to ask? When have you ever been faithful to any woman?”

“I’ve never made a promise to any woman, ever. I’ve never had a reason to be faithful. And I’ve never made a habit of spending time with a woman who would have given a shit about my fidelity. Except you. I’m making you a promise here and now. As long as you’re with me, I won’t ever touch another woman.”

She reared back and stared at his rapt expression. Those green eyes of his penetrated her, tearing away what little protective armor she had. He pulled her closer. Del fought . . . but not very hard.

God, when he said things like that, it was so tempting to believe him. And if he turned out to be a liar, how much would it hurt?

“I don’t know what to say. Your past—”

“Is the past. Stop letting it hang you up. When you’ve got no one to care about and nothing else in your life, playing Lothario and nailing hot girls fills a void. For a while. But when you’re with someone who means everything, you realize what a stupid, pathetic existence it was. I can say it over and over to you, but words won’t convince you.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I get it. Eric burned you. You think I condoned his behavior. Should I have said something? Probably. But every day, we hit the streets together. He put his life in my hands; I put mine in his. At first, I rationalized that if I was the kind of partner to stab him in the back, it would damage the partnership. My first allegiance then was to him.”

Del looked like she wanted to argue and throw it back in his face. But instead, tears welled in her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest. Damn it, he was right.

“After the shooting,” he continued, “I didn’t see the point. Destiny and all the other faceless girls were in his past by then. We didn’t know if he’d ever walk again, much less have an extracurricular sex life. Letting him heal and having you take care of him while he did were the most important things.” Tyler sighed. “Then came . . . that night.”

Del closed her eyes. “Don’t say anything else.”

“Fuck, I’m not keeping quiet anymore. Being with you was like finally watching the sunrise after decades of dark. I could
see
what life was supposed to be. I’d felt it, touched it, held it close. Then I fucking had to let you go because you asked me to. Don’t think the truth didn’t cross my mind in that moment to tell you about every one of the girls he’d been fucking since almost the day you were married. But I knew I’d be spilling for my selfish reasons and that you didn’t need my shit right then. I’d planned to sit you down in a day or two and come clean. My allegiance had shifted from my friend to the woman I loved. But then you were gone from my life.”

His words crushed Del. He’d given her so much information, she didn’t know what to process first. His poetic admission about how important she’d become to him? The fact that she’d hurt him by letting him go to try to reconcile with her douche bag ex-husband? Eric apparently having far more lovers than she’d imagined? The fact that Tyler had admitted straight out that he loved her stood above all those, and she trembled.

Del believed him. How could she not? But did three words guarantee that he could love
only
her? Tyler had never been a one-woman man. Not that he couldn’t change—he had in some ways—but trusting in the constancy of his feelings . . . After everything she’d endured with Eric, how was she supposed to just open herself up again without time and healing?

But if she didn’t put her faith in Tyler, what would they have together?

She let out a sob.

“Fuck this,” he growled.

Before she could understand what he meant, he bent and thrust a shoulder in her midsection and stood again. That quickly, Del was over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry, and he was strutting down the shadowed hall toward the bedroom.

“Put me down. Damn it, I don’t need a caveman.”

Suddenly, he dropped her on the bed, then covered her body with his own. He was hot and hard everywhere. Del trembled.

“You need a firm hand. You need to be restrained and spanked. And then you need for me to make love to you until you can’t see straight, until you understand how goddamn serious I am and that I’ll never let anyone come between us again.”

Chapter Sixteen

U
NDER
the hot weight of Tyler’s body, Del panted, stared. She froze under the gravity of his words, but inside her heart took off like a rocket.

“I—I don’t . . .”

“Know what to say? Care?” he shot back. “I’m done talking.”

Suddenly, the rough hands that pinned her to the bed were on her, moving down her body, pulling at her clothes, flipping her over to lie on her stomach.

In seconds flat, Tyler stripped her bare—except the red shoes. She should be indignant. He’d picked her up like a sack of potatoes. But she was already wet and aching. And so hopeful that he meant even a word he’d said.

Then he hauled her across his lap and braced one of his forearms into the crook of her knees. The other anchored her at the small of her back. “I’m sure if I searched this place, I could find a whole room full of perversions because that’s how Xander rolls. But I don’t need nylon cords or wooden paddles to get my point across.”

He really meant to spank her? She froze, but a traitorous ache took up residence right between her legs.

The question had barely cleared Del’s thoughts before she felt the first whap of his hand across her ass. She yelped. Pain bubbled across her backside, but tingling followed. Then heat.

“Fuck,” Tyler groused. “I need light.”

He leaned over to the nightstand for the lamp. Del knew his grip wasn’t as sturdy in those moments and that she could probably wriggle free. But she needed him. Not just for sex, though that would likely be mind-blowing as always. She needed to see how insistent he was, how far he was willing to go to prove his point. So she waited, breath shallow.

A second later, soft golden light bathed the bedroom. Tyler sighed and palmed her ass. “You’re already pink. Fuck, that’s pretty.”

He pressed his palm into the small of her back and took another whack at her ass, sending a new shiver of sweet pain and heat through her body. “That’s right, angel. Listen to me, feel how fucking much I want you. You’re going to stay here and take me until you believe it. Then we’re going to talk. You’re going to nod and tell me that you love me, too. Then we’re going to nail Carlson’s ass to the wall.”

Tyler made it sound so easy to open herself to him, body and heart, to admit how she felt. But even if she didn’t, he saw right through her. He knew she loved him. And he knew they had to stop Carlson before the bastard stopped them.

“No arguments?”

“I don’t know how to just believe that you’ll be faithful. I want to, but . . .”

He turned her so that she rested on her side, her breasts against his chest, her head now on his shoulder, back cradled by his strong arm. He delved into her eyes with a stare so open and searing, more of the fear and ice inside her melted.

“I know, angel. You’ve been through a lot. I’m asking you to take a big leap of faith. But don’t assume that I won’t be faithful before you’ve even given me a chance. We owe it to each other. To our son.”

Del gulped. Yeah, she had no defense for that.

Suddenly, sobs racked her body. The rest of her walls crumbled down, and she threw her arms around Tyler’s neck. He gripped her tightly, holding her crushingly close. And she didn’t care. The sounds of his breathing and heartbeat filled her ears, but he said nothing. The moment was timeless, endless. So deep. Words couldn’t possibly fill it.

Instead, she raised her face to his, layered her mouth across his lips, and kissed him with everything exploding from her heart. Swift, deep, ravenous, she took him. And he responded in kind, grasping at her as if she was a precious treasure he would never let go, sinking into the kiss again and again. His heartbeat quickened against her chest, in time with hers. Del melted into him.

That wasn’t close enough for Tyler. He laid her across the bed and followed her down, his lips searing across her cheeks, her neck, down to her breasts, suddenly tight with need. His lips closed around one nipple and sucked hard.

Electric desire shocked Del. She arched up. “More.”

“I’m going to give you more, angel,” he murmured, switching to her other breast. “I’m going to be at you until you can’t think about anything except the way we feel together.”

They should talk about this more. She should really have her head clear before she fell into bed with him. He’d take this to mean forever. But her heart urged her to grab him and accept him. They could sort out anything else later. For now, this felt right.

“Please.” She was whimpering.

And Tyler was loving it. He pressed his lips over hers, thumbing both of her nipples in firm strokes that only made the gaping gash of need inside her grow. She thrust her hips up at him.

He didn’t wait an instant before he accepted her invitation.

Tyler reached behind him and yanked off his T-shirt, revealing slabs and ridges of golden muscle. He was taut everywhere, veins standing out strong. Primal, perfect male, intent on having her. Del shivered.

Then he tore off his jeans, shoved them around his hips, and plunged into her with one demanding stroke. She gasped and spread her legs wider to take him.

“That’s it,” he breathed as he wrapped his arms around her and clutched her ass to tilt her up, then set up a rhythm of relentless strokes, slow, deep. Every one rubbed against that sensitive spot inside her as he entered. As he filled her completely, he roused nerves deep in her cervix—a sensation she’d never known before him. And he ground his pelvis against hers, nudging the nerves of her clit.

Del couldn’t find her breath. Every muscle in her body tightened, and rapid heartbeats coupled with the thick honey of arousal soared in her veins. She clutched Tyler, knowing that she’d never felt this way about any man. At every turn, he surprised her. He’d protected her, despite the total upheaval of his life. He tried to build a relationship with the son he barely knew. Even now, he tried to claim her like some primitive warrior of old, using his body and the pleasure he gave to brand her as his. And God help her, she didn’t think she would ever be whole without him again.

If she ever wanted to be happy, she was going to have to throw herself into his arms, put her heart at his mercy, and love him with her whole being. If he betrayed her . . . then she’d know. But she refused to walk away a coward.

Pleasure coursed through her now. Del dragged her lips up his neck and bucked into Tyler’s thrusts.

Within seconds, her body was aflame. Ecstasy breathed against her skin, about to overtake her, and Tyler was too attuned to her not to know it.

“That’s it, angel. Come for me.”

He didn’t have to ask twice. The ache deep in her pussy grew, tightened. She could actually feel the rising tide of orgasm overtake her just before it exploded like a skyrocket, sending her soaring high and fast. She clamped down on his cock, still deep inside her.

“Yes,” he groaned, his body tensing above her as he tried to breathe through each stroke and prolong her pleasure.

But it was costing him, and the way he clamped his eyes shut told her more than anything how much the effort tortured him.

That wasn’t going to do. Del wanted him to feel as good as she felt. She shoved him to the side, urging him to roll to his back. He played along until she was seated above him. Tyler’s gaze fastened on the heavy sway of her breasts.

“Now I’m really fucking glad I turned on the light. You’re beautiful. Move with me, angel.”

He set a leisurely pace, scraping that thick cock of his across every nerve endings he’d already stimulated. Despite her recent climax, the crescendo to pleasure was inexorable. Determination firmed his jaw as he plowed up into her, going even deeper than before.

Del had thought to turn the tables on Tyler, make him lose his self-control. But here he was, ratcheting her pleasure up again. And here she was, helplessly falling into the fray of need until she screamed out in a gush of release and clutched him with her arms, legs, sex. Still, he just kept pumping into her until one orgasm became another, then a fourth, until she couldn’t count anymore.

He pressed kisses across her face, then lingered on her mouth. “I will never want anyone more than I want you. I could do this all night with you and still want you the next day. Angel, please give us a chance.”

Del absorbed his words. He’d unraveled her, turned her inside out, and all that was left was the raw woman who bled and feared . . . and hoped. Tears fell down her cheeks, even as another orgasm clawed its way through her and left her speechless.

So she simply nodded.

As if that had turned on some switch inside Tyler, he shoved his cock into her rougher, faster, grabbing her hips and looking her right in the eye. “Come with me. Yeah?”

It astounded her that she could. She could barely move at that point, she’d been so drugged by the pleasure. But she managed to nod, then clamp down on him in a thundering climax harsher and more demanding than all the rest. She screamed until she lost her breath, her voice—and still the ecstasy racked her. It turned up a notch when she felt Tyler jolt, then the wet jet of his semen blasted deep inside her.

With a long, low growl, he filled her again and again with his pleasure and his seed, clutching her. The growl became something like a moan. Then his body went completely limp underneath her.

Their hearts thundered together. Breaths mingled. And reverent silence filled the rest of the room. Something had happened here. She’d given a piece of her soul to Tyler that she’d never be able to take back. It scared the hell out of her.

Walking away from him scared the hell out of her more.

“Angel,” he breathed. “God, you’re perfect. It’s never been just sex with you. It’s like . . . melding. I only wanted to get deeper inside you and never leave.”

“Yeah.” She didn’t have prettier words, just a fresh batch of tears at the touching way he’d described their lovemaking. “It’s like my body knows how much you mean to me.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner about everything . . . the past.”

Del swallowed. The stark honesty on his face couldn’t be a lie. He meant every word he said. His apology and his sincerity choked her up. Could this man get any more perfect? “I know.”

Relief filled his expression, and he burrowed his face into her neck, breathing her in. “I want to hold you all night.”

It sounded heavenly . . . except they were going to need a change of sheets if they didn’t get up soon.

Then their situation struck her. She gasped. “You didn’t use a condom.”

“I’m clean,” he offered immediately, then peered closely at her. “You’re not on the pill?”

She shook her head. “No reason to be.”

He hesitated, then nodded. “You’re right. No reason at all. Seth needs a brother or sister.”

That quickly, Del felt his cock growing, lengthening. She gaped at him. “Tyler, we—”

“We’re going to be good parents to the boy we have. Don’t you want more children? I do.”

“When all this danger is over, we can talk about it, but I—”

His strokes grew deeper, longer. “I’m not letting this motherfucker dictate my future. We’re going to get him, and when we do, we’ll celebrate. If you’re pregnant again, we’ll celebrate even more. Angel, please. I want to be with you every step of the way this time. I want to make you utterly mine.”

Damn, the picture Tyler painted was so seductive. He made it sound heavenly and ridiculously simple, like all she had to do was lay back and let him love her until nature took its course and a new baby to love grew in her belly.

Reality intruded. Carlson could even now be on their asses. They were still in danger, and until this slimy bastard was caught, none of them were safe. That wasn’t her only objection. She wasn’t terribly old-fashioned, but she’d just gotten divorced last time she’d given birth. This time she wanted to be married and settled.

Still on top, Del disentangled herself from Tyler and pushed off the bed before he could grab her. “Now isn’t the time to be careless or make rash decisions. I need to think about this.”

Confusion racked Tyler’s face. “I love you. I love Seth. I want our family, and I want it to grow.”

“Right now, we don’t even live in the same state,” she pointed out.

“And neither of us can rent a moving van and fix that?” He raised a tawny brow at her.

She flushed with something between anger and shame. “We can. Like I said, this is happening awfully fast. I knocked on your door in Lafayette a handful of days ago.”

“I’ve loved you for years. You love me. I think you’ve loved me for years, too. I’m not letting anything come between us again. What else is there to know?”

Del couldn’t answer that. But she felt like her life was on fast-forward. She didn’t know how to cope. The most prolific playboy she’d ever met now talking about forever and babies and commitment just didn’t compute when she was still rattled from danger and mind-bending sex.

“Just . . . let me sleep on it, okay?”

His face closed over. “Sure.”

She’d hurt his feelings, and that hadn’t been her intent. All she’d needed was for him to slow down a bit and let her breathe.

On silent feet, she padded over to Tyler and wrapped her arms around him. “I love you. I’m not walking away again, I swear.”