Mine to Spell (Mine #2) (2 page)

Exactly what I’ve been trying not to think on. With those big, begging eyes, it would be so easy to give into her pleading, so I switch my gaze to the person in the room most likely to side with the safety of my family. Zade. “If I enter the marriage pool, do you think it will ease some of their fears? Do you think it will help show them that Serena can…
handle
her property?”

His eyes stay perfectly trained on mine, and I have to wonder if he’s struggling not to give into Serena’s pleading as well. “I can’t guarantee anything. You understand that, don’t you?”

“I do.”

He rubs the back of his neck. “It would probably go a long way toward helping. It would give those supporting us something to help prove that Serena isn’t different from other warlocks. It would show people she’s in control and willing to follow society’s ways, which is something hard to dispute and fight against. Though there will still be those that are unhappy just with the fact that she’s a woman.”

He moves closer to me. Most of the time I forget that as an Envadi how much taller he is than me but at a moment like this, with my neck tilted back to look up at him, every inch of his height is a stern reminder of the seriousness of the situation. “You know if you enter the marriage pool there will be little we can do to prevent your ownership by a warlock. From when I checked before, we know the magic in your blood is more potent than Serena’s, and there were many who tried for her hand. There will be many applicants, and she will have to choose one. I’m sure she will let you pick which one you’d like, but you’d still be giving your ownership back to a warlock.”

Even though I already know all this, somehow his statement rages through me more than Serena’s threats. But what will happen to my family if I don't show compliance to society's ways? It's not something I want to dwell on. My mouth is dry, making my reply harder to get out than it should. “I understand.”

Serena moves next to Zade, somehow bearing down on me even more than he is, despite being my height. “Are you certain you do?”

I nod, even though the ever-growing desire to never have started this conversation builds. I almost wish I had never come to the study after them.

“They’ll not only use you as a breeder to make powerful warlock babies, but they’ll want the magic in your blood for themselves. It’s too strong for them not to.”

“
I know.”

“
And you still wish to do this?”

I push past the choking in my throat, letting my words come out clear and strong. “It will help our family. I’ll be happy to do my part.”

Serena wrenches me into a hug. “We can find another way.”

But we can’t, and even if we could, would we discover it in time to help? Doubtful. I pull out the facade I spent years wearing, the one I hoped I would never need to use again. “Don’t worry yourself over it. You know how I enjoy all the attention from warlocks.” About as much as I enjoyed punishments from father, but I give her my winning smile, as if it will be the best thing that has ever happened.

She scrutinizes my expression, probably looking for some hint I’m faking this all. But she won’t find it. Cracks don’t happen.

“
Are you certain? Absolutely certain? There’ll be no changing your mind.”

“
Of course I am. I’ll ready myself to go to the testing center.”

Her eyes grow wider. “Right now?”

“You heard Zade. We can’t let them doubt you any longer.”

She gives a jerk of a nod and with a voice calmer than I expected, says, “I’ll call the carriage.”

“Thank you,” I choke out, struggling to rein in the building frustration and loss so it doesn’t come screaming out.

I turn to hurry from the room, but Bethany stops me. Her eyes are bright with unshed tears. She gives my hand a squeeze, a silent show of support and longing, and then moves to clear the way.

I saunter through the hall, past the kitchen, toward the stairs like I have some happy purpose, trying desperately not to let myself race to my room as I wish. The younger girls call after me, but I can’t let myself do more than give them cheery hellos and hurry on. Vaguely, I hear Bethany saying something to them. She probably followed me out, anticipating such a thing. I step faster, up the previously forbidden stairs, down the empty hall, and into my room. My very own.

Serena was furious when she discovered there were enough rooms in father's house for each of us girls to have her own, and still have extra rooms left over. If father were around, instead of in a prison somewhere, I’m sure she would have knocked him out with her gun again. I felt the same. After cramming together in a couple small rooms our whole lives, realizing there was more than enough room to spare sent us both into a fit. But even if it wasn’t a surprise, it was one more thing that we had no control over.

Apparently, there’s still much we have no control over, even when I try to pretend otherwise.

But now we each have our own rooms, and she was kind enough to let me pick the one I wanted first. The choice has made it much easier to keep secrets.

I close my door, working extra hard to have it make the slightest click when it latches and not to slam it. After it’s closed and locked, it doesn’t take long to secure my room. It’s almost without thought the motions come to me. Sally often likes to hide under my bed or in my closet which I double check for. Once I’m sure the room is clear of sisters, I draw the thick curtains, even though a tree thick with foliage is right outside my window, making it difficult to see in.

When I’m positive nothing that takes place in this room can be seen, I do one of the few good things I ever learned from father. I feel the power in me, the eager glow inside me flaring to life, yearning to respond to my will. I seize hold of it and launch it in a clear, save for a few crimson streaks, barely visible spell straight at my throat. It wraps around my voice just as I demand, blocking all sound. Then I scream.

Chapter Two

I stare at the stack of papers on the kitchen table, which looks large enough to wallpaper my room with. But it’s time. Time to make a choice. I’d much rather faint in front of everyone again, as I did when I saw my blood during the testing. At least that part is over.

Waverly entertains the younger girls with her antics outside while Bethany prepares dinner in the kitchen. Serena and Zade are sitting at the table, trying to be helpful, though they have yet to be so. Still, I wish I could switch places them, or with any of the others. Or go back to my room, cast the silencing spell, and scream some more.

“
I didn’t think there would be so many.” The stack is just so large. I knew there would be a lot of interest in me, but this much is unfathomable.

Serena and Zade exchange a look but say nothing. I’m too busy trying to keep myself together to figure out what the look is even supposed to mean.

“This is good.” Not really, but I press on. “We’ll be able to find a worthwhile warlock with so many options.” There has to be at least one. Please be one.

Serena places her hand on mine. “Not we. You. We will aid you as much as we can. However I won’t make the decision of who will own you next. If I could decide anything, you’d be gaining your freedom instead.”

Freedom. A word more magical that any spell I can cast. And yet, even if I were as free as she is, I wouldn’t be really free to do what I love most. Magic.

What would happen if they knew I could cast spells? If the warlocks knew? The council? Or, Master forbid, the Grand Chancellor? It goes against everything society wants, what the council and Grand Chancellor want. Everything they talk about and feel. Freedom wouldn’t bring the ability to do magic. No. Trying to make us appear as if we’re still a normal family, a family that complies with their expectations, is what they want and what will keep the girls safe.

Waverly bounces in the back door, short of breath. “Your sisters are wild. I can’t keep up with them. Presha is watching them while I take a break.”

“
They weren’t wild before you came along.” And it makes me smile, a true smile, like nothing else has since my birthday. Everyone in the house has grown happier since Waverly started spending much of her time with us.

Serena laughs. “Now you have more sisters than you know what to do with.”

Waverly returns the laugh as she heads to the wash basin. “It’s true. I do, but I’m not the only one. Zade has his hands full of them, too.” She gives him a sly look. “Maybe he wants more sisters permanently.”

Serena and Zade both blush and pointedly look anywhere but each other. Usually their antics are endearing, but now it just reminds me I’ll never have anything like that unless I can find a miracle in this stack.

I skim another application, but the words mush together after the first line. All my choices are the same: Will give lots of money for my purchase; Will restore some honor to the family name; Have great magic to join with mine in passing down to their sons. As if I want that to happen. None of the options are remotely appealing, but the thought of having a son with one of them is enough to make me vomit. Or hex each and every one of them.

Yet, thinking of all the magic makes me wonder about something I’ve wanted to know for a long time. Something only a warlock outside Chardonia would know. One who just happens to be sitting at the same table.

“Zade,” I say, “do women in Envado do magic?”

The room goes horridly quiet. It’s as if father cast a silencing hex on everyone and everything. I shouldn’t have let the question slip. Except I want to know. I can’t be the only woman in the world that does magic, can I?

No, I can’t possibly. There have to be others like me somewhere, only where are they? Why am I so alone? Envado seems like a good place to start looking for answers. Or at least I thought it did until the already awkward silence keeps pounding on like a beating that will never end.

I focus harder on the application before me, trying to pretend the answer doesn’t matter. Though the longer the stillness permeates the air, the more I change to pretending as if the question was never asked.

Serena finally says, “What a strange question. You know only men do magic, which is just as well. Even if there are good things done with magic, there’s too much hexing involved.”

Her words singe me right at my hidden desire to be known for doing magic and to be accepted for it, yet it’s not as if she’s aware of how personal a question it is. I risk glancing at Zade. A strange look is on his face, one that’s impossible to decipher.

Those at the kitchen counter aren’t any better. Bethany’s eyes are innocent and wide with shock. Waverly is frozen with a glass of water partway to her mouth. She’s the first to come out of her trance, taking a sip of her drink before putting a big smile on her face.

“
Really, Serena?” she says. “Magic isn’t that bad. I thought you liked what we did with the ball.”

“
True,” she concedes. “Zade did a great job with everything.”

Waverly’s smile dims some but doesn’t disappear entirely. “Yes, Zade did.”

I scrutinize her, searching for a deeper meaning.

“
Honestly,” Serena replies, “it’s not that I didn’t enjoy it. I did. Yet, it’s hard to forget the consequences that followed. Zade’s life almost ended, and he was injured. You were knocked out. Luckily there were no lasting effects from that. Nathaniel’s fiancée was killed. That is what magic brings.”

But it doesn’t always.

Not that it matters. It doesn’t. At least not to the well-behaved, boy-crazy, family-saving girl I’m pretending to be. Back to acting as if I didn’t ask, and putting all my focus on which warlock will be my next owner.

Blast. Just the thought makes me wish I’d never gone through with this, but there are too many others depending on me. I can’t abandon them when I’ve finally grown brave enough to help. There hasn’t been a single threat since I was tested, and I’m not about to take that relief away. Not that I could anyway.

Zade pops out of his trance, bolting to his feet. “I think I’ll go see if any of the girls want another shooting lesson.”

He strides from the room, boots pounding across the floor. The silence that follows manages to be more awkward than before, even without my asking a forbidden question.

We pretend to work at our tasks, none of us looking at each other. At least I’m still pretending. Perhaps Serena really does find the pattern of the table interesting, Waverly enjoys staring at half-empty glasses of water, and Bethany thinks her vegetables a prize worthy of staring instead of chopping.

Serena runs her hand across the table, drumming her fingers a few times before saying, “I didn’t mean his spells were bad.” She stares after his long-retreated form. “Perhaps I should assist him.”

“I’ll help with the girls so you can talk,” Bethany says. “If you don’t mind taking over for me, Waverly? Or would you prefer to distract the girls?”

“
I’m still recuperating from distracting the girls last time. They’re always more energetic than I expect. Why don’t you go ahead, and I’ll finish up here?”

Bethany nods and coaxes Serena out the door.