Mirage (11 page)

Kylee and I decide to take an afternoon shopping trip. I really could use something new to wear tonight. I had only been to a clubhouse once before and from what I remember, the men wore jeans and their motorcycle vests and the girls wore next to nothing, looking as slutty as can be. That has never been me. I like to be girly but not slutty.

At an adorable boutique we found downtown, I find the perfect outfit for a clubhouse. I move into the fitting room to try it on. Coming out of the room to face Kylee to get her opinion, I pause by a trifold of floor to ceiling mirrors and admire the way I look in this outfit.

I pair a short, dark denim jean shorts with an orange form-fitting racer back tank top with an excessive v cut in the front and wedge sandals. With the tanning I have been doing after work, my skin is a great shade of brown that makes the orange against my skin pop. I also think that orange brings out the green emerald tone of my eyes. Playing with my hair, I decide that a high pony pulled tight will make this look seem sexy but carefree at the same time. I don’t want to look like I’m trying too hard.

“Oh shit, Mi, you look amazing,” Kylee says as she eyes me up and down. I have never in my entire life felt like I looked beautiful, let alone more beautiful than Kylee. But in this moment, I have the market cornered on sexy.

Giving myself a 360 in the mirror, I admire how well I look. Then, I return to the fitting room and change into the clothes I wore here. Kylee decided on a new pair of low rise jeans and a shirt that showed more of her midriff than I would ever be comfortable with. We pay for our purchases and leave.

We go to eat at one of our favorite cafes located only a few blocks from the heart of the U of M campus. It’s such a nice place, laid back, smooth jazz plays in the background and they serve the best sandwiches and salads you will find in the whole city. We order our lunches and sit back to admire the college guys walking around outside through the huge window in front of the café when my phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Mira, hey it’s Jacoby. How are you?”

“Oh hey, I’m sorry. I must not have had your number saved in my phone. I’m good, what’s up,” I say casually.

“Well last night you agreed to go on a date with me and I was wondering what you were doing tonight?”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I have plans with Kylee tonight. We’re going out to meet with an old friend from college. I would invite you along but I don’t know if this is really your scene,” I say apologetically.

“You’ll never know until you ask. Where are you guys headed?”

“Our friend Skylar is in an MC. He invited Kylee, and she invited me down to their clubhouse for some kind of party.”

“Skylar, the guy from last night?” Jacoby questions.

“Yeah. I’m surprised you remembered. So, yeah, Skylar, Kylee and I all went to college together and we’re going to have a few drinks or something tonight. Maybe another night,” I say nervously. I didn’t even think he would remember Skylar or sound so upset about me spending time with him.

“How could I not forget him? He basically asked if I was taking you against your will last night when we were leaving the bar. I don’t know Mira; do I have anything to worry about? I saw the way he looked at you.”

“Jacoby, really, there is nothing to worry about. We have all been friends for a very long time and have gone through some good and terrible times together. We’re just friend,” I say. I have to say, I’m a little angry that Jacoby thinks he can have a say in who I do or do not associate with.

“Mira, I’m not trying to get on your case. This is a rough crowd and you’re right, it’s not my scene. I prefer entertaining women by taking them to more respectable places. I know the stuff that goes on at these places Mira, do you?” Jacoby questions me.

“Thank you for the concern. I have been to a clubhouse before and I know what to expect. Skylar would never invite Kylee or me somewhere that was dangerous or somewhere that we would not be respected. If you would like to go out another night, send me a text, if not, I’ll see you Monday at the office,” I say as I hang up on him.

“The nerve of this guy,” I mumble out loud to myself, but Kylee overheard.

“Jacoby?” she asks.

“Yeah, trying to give me a lecture on the do’s and don’ts of the bike world and that I shouldn’t be at places like this. He wanted to know if he needed to worry about Skylar,” I say in one long exasperated breath.

“Does he have to worry about Skylar?” Kylee questions with a glimmer of ‘pure evil best friend’ in her eyes.

“Oh dear God, Kylee. Get off it. Really,” I say digging into my food that I didn’t even see the waiter bring to our table until just now. Taking the first bite of my BLT, I didn’t realize how little that bagel did for me this morning. I’m starving.

“I’m just messing with you honey, don’t get bent out of shape.”

After finishing an amazing lunch we walk around the campus for a while. I didn’t realize it would bring back so many memories. I mean, we drive through Ann Arbor regularly but it’s there’s something about walking. The college kids were all running around, looking happy like the whole world was out there waiting for them. There was couple walking holding hands in front of us. It was just so adorable, but made me so sad at the same time. There was another couple lying in front of the law building on a quilt. The guy had his back against a tree while the girl sat between his legs. It looked like they were reading from the same book.

We were in our last quarter of our senior year. Midterms were creeping up even quicker than I realized. I was leaving from my last class of the day and anticipated heading across State Street to the
Starbucks to get some studying in. With my nose in my phone checking all my notifications that I missed during my class, I didn’t even notice Danny sneaking up on me.

Danny ran up behind me and wrapped me in his arms, picking me up off the ground spinning me around. Let’s just say that if I wouldn’t have recognized his signature scent, he might have got junk punched.

“I missed you so much today,” Danny said while nuzzling my neck.

“I missed you, too. I’m about to head for coffee and studying,
wanna go?”

“Got a much better idea.
Pea, you take studying too seriously sometimes. I know I study a lot but these last few weeks, you’ve been too wound up,” Danny says placing his arm around my shoulders leading me towards the quad.

“Danny, really, I have to get studying done. I have been preoccupied lately and I can’t fail this midterm.”

“What have you been preoccupied with?”

Giving him a “you have got to be kidding me” look, I squared my shoulders, walked in front of him and turned to face him, “Mr. Thomas, do you not realize that we were supposed to be studying all week at your place and that never happened? Do you know why that
happened mister?” I asked as I poked him in the chest, “You. That is why I never study. You’re irresistible and I just can’t get enough. I’m going to ground myself from you if you don’t stop getting me alone. We’re going to Starbucks.” I started to turn back towards State Street hoping he would follow me when he put his arm around me and pulled me down to the ground with him.

Danny sat on the plush grass and opened his legs and patted his lap, requesting my body’s presence. I took my backpack straps off my shoulders, setting it next to the tree and moved my body into position. Nestling between his legs I placed my back on his stomach and laid my head back to look him in the eyes.

“This is nice future husband, but now what?” I asked.

Danny reached in my bag and pulled out my economics textbook. He put the book in front of my body and turned to the page I had marked with a dried rose petal.

Danny loved to buy me flowers and I saved one flower petal from every bouquet he bought me and dried it. Most were sitting in a hope chest in my bedroom but this one was still drying, so I had it squished in the book.

He set the rose petal on my thigh and started reading. I forgot Danny had this class on Monday’s and I had it on Wednesday’s. He needed to study for this class too.

I got comfortable, openly cuddling with my fiancé and read the text that we went over earlier in the day. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Skylar approaching with Kylee. Skylar had a large blanket we used for concerts wrapped over his shoulder and he was carrying a cooler.

Skylar
didn’t say anything as he approached us, just laid out the blanket. He opened the cooler, taking out a few Red Bulls and a bag of chips. He handed Danny and I each one of the energy drinks. Kylee sat down next to Skylar on the blanket and pulled out a pack of three by five index cards, pens and highlighters. I looked back up at Danny who was smiling from ear to ear.

“Thanks guys, this is amazing,” Danny said to
Skylar and Kylee.

“You know you can count on us man. No problem,”
Skylar responded.

“Yeah, Danny.
You know all you ever have to do is ask,” Kylee said winking at me.

“What’s going on here?” I asked just looking for an answer from nobody in particular.

“Didn’t I tell you I had a better idea, Pea? Next time don’t just think I want to get you naked,” Danny said with a huge grin still on his face. My skin flushed pink as I opened my Red Bull and took a quick drink.

Looking up at him again, I asked, “What did I do in a past life to deserve you Danny?”

“Pea, every day, I ask myself the same question. It’s me who’s lucky. Now, young lady, nose in the book.”

With my best friends and my man, I sat and studied my ass off. The midterm the next week was easy as hell. I scored a ninety five percent.

Am I one lucky girl or what?

I think Kylee notices the sadness in my eyes when she puts her arm through mine and turns me around to walk back to the car. I really didn’t mean to be depressed. It’s just so surreal to have four years of memories with a group of great people and one of them not here anymore.

My eyes might be sad and my heart might hurt, but for the first time in a long time, thinking of Danny didn’t tear my heart out. I let a small grin appear across my face. He is in a much better place and is happy. He wouldn’t want me to be so miserable. He would want me to live my life. I have tried to move forward but I always get stuck in my tracks. I seem to take one step forward and two steps back.

My night with Skylar reminds me of that. I really thought he felt something more for me than just Danny’s girl. I thought he had wanted to be with me and not just get with me, if you know what I mean. That memory does not bring a smile to my face. I am still so upset over that night, knowing that what I said probably hurt his ego, but he broke my heart.

I could have loved Skylar. I could have loved him with everything I had in me. He understood me and what makes me tick. I don’t let too many people in and a part of me feels like he took advantage of that. I can’t really blame him; I was so lost in lust that I didn’t even think of anything but his body.

That’s how my luck is, right? The best moments of my life are all too quickly turned to shit.

Chapter Twelve

By the time we got back to my parent’s, it was about six o’clock. We had talked earlier about leaving around eight, so I knew that I needed to get ready. I took a little too long of shower, making sure to shave my legs and my, well you know. Not that I’m anticipating getting in bed with Skylar again, but I think he might be the only person that wouldn’t have to say anything to me to break down the walls. One look from him was worth a thousand words, and I think he knows it.

I am just finishing the final touches to my makeup when Kylee comes back into the room, fresh from a shower. I always seem to choose the more natural look, black mascara, light eye shadow, clear lip gloss and a light bronzer where Kylee likes the dramatic effect. The shiny gold hues I chose for my eyelids brought the attention to my green eyes lined with thick black liquid eyeliner perfectly. I added a little bit of a darker hue around the edges of my eyelids to give them a smoky look.

Looking in the mirror, I have to say, I like what was looking back at me. Seeing Kylee standing behind me, waiting for the makeup table, jealousy reared its ugly head. I really wish sometimes that I had thinner, straighter hair. My mop is all over the place. Deep brown with a mess of curls is what I have when I don’t do anything to it. I have to do some serious work to make it look anything less than thick and wavy. Kylee has red hair that is naturally pin straight and she bitches all the time that she would love to have my hair. Bitch was crazy.

Removing the items I just purchased from the bag, I clip the tags from the shirt and the shorts and lay them on the bed. I take extra time to lotion my skin that will remain exposed, making sure I am silky soft to the touch, not that I wanted any touching.

I change into my outfit as Kylee finishes her makeup. We make a pretty good pair when it comes to sharing space and getting ready. It wasn’t always this easy. We used to fight for bathroom position, makeup table position and who was going to be the first to use the full-length mirror to check on the outcome of the previous two. Once we found a routine, everything just seemed to move a lot smoother and we got out of the house a lot earlier.

Glancing at the clock on my cable box, the time shows quarter to eight. Great, we don’t have to rush. Kylee and I are both dressed and ready to go within a few minutes.

My parents don’t really keep a lot of booze in the house but I know that mom almost always has a pint sized bottle of vodka in the freezer, just in case. Opening the freezer and moving the frozen peas out of the way, I find that little bottle of liquid courage I’m going to need to face Skylar. I don’t even bother with a glass. I open the cap of the bottle and take a nice long, burn your throat swig, cap the bottle and put it back.