Misguided Heart (16 page)

After I grabbed Bugsy from my neighbor
, I decided that this day was going to be a wine and pool day. I was making my way onto the cool deck when I heard my cell phone start ringing. At this point, I was over everybody all together. I didn't have anybody to worry about being hurt, because I was the last person anyone would put down as an emergency contact.

When my mom
died, I had just turned eighteen a few months before. She had been diagnosed with breast cancer when I was fifteen. She fought long and hard and finally found herself in remission just after my seventeenth birthday. My mom had been my best friend for my whole life. My dad left when I was only two, so needless to say, I didn't remember the bastard.

Six
months after we got the good news about my mother’s remission, we got a phone call informing us that the cancer had come back and was spreading rapidly. Unfortunately, there was nothing left for us to do but ride it out. My mom held on for a hell of a lot longer than the doctors had anticipated, and I was thrilled when she made it through my high school graduation. I turned eighteen the summer after graduation and that was when she became extremely weak. Knowing what she was going through and what I would eventually have to face, I started taking college classes the beginning of my senior year.

I doubled my
workload, but still found the time to help my mom as much as I could regardless.

She was a beautiful woman,
my mother, she never looked a day over thirty-five. She had dark brown hair and matching dark brown eyes. I looked nothing like her, but that never mattered to me. Everybody tried to tell me how much I looked like my father but I didn't really care who I looked like. I had her and she had me and that was all that ever mattered.

We
spent the last couple of months of her life preparing for the inevitable. Don't get me wrong, we had a lot of fun too, but she didn't want me to have to worry when the time came. We went out to dinners, the movies, vacations, we even went skydiving together. A week before she passed, we went to get matching tattoos. My mother had always been against tattoos, not because she thought they looked trashy, but because she could never have something so permanent on her for the rest of her life. Now that the rest of her life was staring her right in the face, she threw all caution to the wind and went for it.

We both ended up getting a small pink broken heart to symbolize the love and loss we would both feel very soon. I got mine on the top of my right foot and she had gotten
hers behind her right ear. That was the best day of my life thus far. When she died a week later, I stared at my foot for what felt like days, knowing that she wouldn't want me to dwell on the bad. You can think you're prepared for losing a parent when you have the time to say goodbye, but nothing can ever prepare you for the heartbreak you experience.

Once my mom was gone, I vowed to myself to never let anyone get that close to me. I couldn't go through another heartbreak like that ever again.
I threw myself into college and graduated early, with honors I might add.

My first job out of
the gate was at PJ Holden and Son, and now here I was. I glanced down past my bikini-clad body to stare at the small tattoo on my foot. I smiled up at the sky, knowing that my mother was looking down on me. I laid back soaking up the sun's blistering rays. As I was just about to drift off into a peaceful rest, my phone began blaring again, this time I could hear it over the music.

I rolled my eyes as I pushed myself up out of my lounger. So much for a peaceful relaxing day. My phone stopped ringing just as I reached for it and I noticed
that I had five missed calls. What in the world? All of the numbers were ones I didn't recognize, so I decided to call them back. When an unrecognizable woman’s voice answered, I almost hung up.

“I don't mean to be rude, but can I ask who this is?”

“This is Sara, you know Nole's, um, well I guess ex now.”

My voice caught in my throat as I thought about what to say to this girl. I had only met her one time and have regretted it ever since. “What can I do for you,
Sara?”

“Look, I know I said some pretty harsh things to you at my wedding and I'm sorry, but have you heard from Nole?” Her voice was strained and I couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

“Sara, I don't blame you. Trust me I understand. When it comes to Nole, you never know what you're going to get. Unfortunately, I haven't heard from him. I wish I had just so I could put your mind at ease, but I haven't talked to him since that day.” I made my way into the living room as she kept rambling on and on.

“Well, I appreciate it. I just needed to talk to him. Can you do me a favor?”

“Of course.” I was hesitant but she deserved that much.

“If you do
hear from him, could you please tell him to call me?”

“Absolutely
Sara. And hey, take care of yourself.”

“Thanks Aston, you do the same.”

The line went dead and I threw myself onto the couch. Seriously, could my life be any more complicated?

Aston

After my phone call with Sara, I spent the rest of the day enjoying the warm weather and the comfort of my tantalizing pool. I hadn't realized how late it had gotten until I headed back to my room to shower. I glanced at the clock on my wall above my bed, remembering that I still had two more manuscripts to get done by tomorrow morning. It was only 8:00 but I was exhausted. I grabbed a quick shower, probably one of the quickest of my life, grabbed the last manuscript I was reading and made my way to my comfy couch downstairs.

Halfway through my work
, the doorbell rang and Bugsy went ballistic. It was now 10:30 and I couldn't help but wonder who the hell was at my house. Nothing could have prepared me for who stood on the other side of the door.

Nole's face was distraught and solemn. I was taken back when a stray tear began rolling down his cheek. Nole had never been a crier and I was shocked to see that emotion settled into his expression. I was literally at a loss for words as I looked into his watery ocean blue eyes. When words failed me, he decided to take the reigns.

“Aren't you going to invite me in?” And there was the asshole I had known and loved.

“Sure why not. Come on in Nole.” I waved my hand past him to let him know he could come i
n. Without hesitation, he slid past me and into the living room, making himself at home, as usual.

“What can I do for you Nole?” I rolled my eyes in his direction as I sat sideways across from him with my feet tucked up under me.

“Sweetheart, why are you so bitter towards me?” That cocky smile spread across his face and I couldn't help but want to smack the shit out of him.

“I'm no
t Nole. Things have just, well, things have changed. I'm not the same girl that you were in love with all those years back. That, and I have work I need to get finished before the morning. So I'll ask again, what can I do for you?” He was working my last nerve and he knew it.

“I just needed to see you, that's all.” His long fingers pushed through his thick head of blonde hair. His eyes stayed focused on the ground and I took the rare moment of silence to stare at his understated physique.

Damn that boy could still do things to me. My heart rate picked up just as his eyes met mine. I always felt like he could see straight into my soul with those piercing blue eyes. Too bad, they didn't make him think like a non-asshole. I smirked at my little inside joke before finally responding to his earlier comment.

“Nole, what are you doing?”

“What do you mean?” Ah and there was the smart-ass smirk again.

Asshole!

“I mean, what are you doing, here?” This time it was my turn to run my fingers through my unruly hair. I was beyond frustrated and he couldn't even have a serious conversation about it.

“I told you, I came to see you.”

“And?” This back and forth shit was starting to get really old really fast.

“Look, I don't know exactly what to say here. I just felt like I needed to see you. At my wedding, I just feel like I could've handled things totally different.”

“But you didn't!”

“No, I didn't and I'm sorry.”

“I don't really think I should be the one that you're apologizing to. I do believe there is another woman who needs some sort of explanation from you. Oh and P.S. your mom is a bitch.” My lips turned up into a snarky smile and I couldn't help but relish in his newfound irritation with me.

“Thanks. I know I need to talk to
Sara. I just figured I would come by and talk to you first.”

“Of course you did. Now go home and figure your shit out. I don't have time to deal with you and your almost married ass.” I laughed as I threw on
e of the couch pillows at him and headed towards the kitchen.

Nole's hands reached out
and wrapped around my waist, pulling me on his lap. I was completely taken off guard and still laughing at what he thought he was doing. Before I could over think the situation, his fingers gently started tickling my sides. I kicked and screamed, trying to get out of his lap but he kept a firm hold around my waist with his other arm. Our laughing echoed off of the very bare walls as we wrestled on the long couch. Just as I was about to break free, he flipped me into my back and straddled me.

Everything
got very serious and intense within seconds. His eyes were burning a hole straight through me, down to my very core. I could feel my body responding to him and I think I actually liked it. I know the situation wasn't ideal, but when had it ever been an ideal situation for us?

My hands lay dormant against my sides as his eyes searched mine, for what
? I wasn't sure. Nole's facial expression turned serious as he began leaning down towards my face. My first reaction was to look away, throw up my hands, hell even push him off of me, but I found myself wanting him to kiss me. I wasn't sure that this is where it was headed but I was certain about one thing, if he tried to, I wouldn't stop him.

His lips sat inches away from mine as I began to close my eyes. After a few seconds had passed, I looked up to see his face looking rather perplexed.

“Are you going to go for it, or what?” I knew I was being pushy, but he had never complained before.

“Just be quiet
, Aston. Don't talk, please. I've thought about this moment for the past eight years, don't ruin it.” The sarcasm in his voice was eminent so I didn't take offense. I just lay there waiting. Just as I was about to throw myself at him, I felt his weight shift above me. His face was even closer now and I knew at any given second they were going to be on mine. I licked my lips, taking my bottom one in between my teeth. That one small gesture was all it took.

Seconds later
, his soft supple lips were on mine, moving at a rather vigorous pace. My body gave over to the overwhelming feel of desire. My hands were all over him. Feeling each and every muscles as I ripped his shirt over his head. Our lips picked up their pace as his fingers slid under the hem of my shirt.

My shirt landed on the floor on top of his, moments later. My hands dove straight for his belt buckle when I suddenly stopped.
I don't know what had come over me, but I found myself not being able to follow through with it. For crying out loud, he was supposed to be married. What the hell was I doing?

Nole must've sensed something was wrong because he pulled his mouth away from my neck and sat up next to me. “What is it?” I could hear the irritation in his voice.

“I'm sorry Nole, but I can't do this. Not now. You haven't even worked things out with Sara. It's not fair to her or me.” I hung my head and reached to grab my shirt. “I think you should go.”

“Fine! I'll go, for now, but don't think I'm giving up that easy.” He winked and my heart melted.

“You wouldn't be you, if you did.” I winked back as I sat up to straighten my shirt.

After he tugged his shirt back on and fixed his pants, his lips were pressed against my forehead. “Can I call you?” He whispered just below my ear sending goose bumps down my skin.

“You better.” I whispered back. I locked up behind him and found myself smiling like a lovesick teenager. Maybe things were looking up?

Sloan

I wish I could have explained how she was making me feel. I had never been one to try a relationship, but with her, I was willing to try. Since when? Ah, I swear I needed to just shut my mind off for a few hours, try to forget all about that damn beautiful blonde, sexy as hell woman.

Fuck!

Red hair grazed my stomach as I watched her head bounce up and down. I was trying to put myself in the moment, but damn if her face didn't keep popping into my head. I grabbed a chunk of fiery hair in my palm and squeezed. I could feel her let out a little yelp, but I paid her no attention. Her movements picked up pace and I knew I should be close, but my mind was preventing me from finishing. What the hell was this girl doing to me?

Visions of bouncing her up and down on my dick flashed through my mind and I could feel myself getting harder.
If I just kept thinking about her, maybe I could just come and kick this bitch out already. I know I sounded like a fucking prick, but well, that's who I was. When I was with Aston, I had only been playing a part; a part that just wasn't me, whether she liked it or not. I couldn't believe I was dumb enough to think that I was anything more than just some guy to make her ex jealous. That's what I get for trying to care for someone else, even if it was just to get into her panties.