Miss Impractical Pants (30 page)

***

“Have you seen this?” Olivia screeched.

“That’s complete rubbish. You shouldn’t let it upset you.” Lucas’s fatigue wore in his voice.

“It doesn’t matter if
it’s
rubbish—it’s bad for my image. This is bad press. It needs to be corrected.”

“Come off it, Olivia. Neither of us is a celebrity—no one will give it a second glance. And even if they do, who cares?”

Her face contorted at Lucas’s indifference to her social status. The look she gave him was fierce, as if he had accused her of being a Walmart shopper.

“
I
care!” she seethed. “Do you know what this looks like? It looks like
I
, Olivia Denby, have been dumped for
her
…for that American
nobody
!”

In the next room, Sidney, Lottie, Geoffrey, and Mrs. Albright were eavesdropping on the argument, while Katie, a captive on the white sofa, was actually trying to ignore it—but Olivia’s shrill tones were making it difficult. Now, it was clear
Katie
had something to do with all of this, and all eyes in the room were on her.

She tried not to absorb Olivia’s latest insult, or that the argument was about her. She had to think about something else, something that would keep her from hearing this conversation. Katie chose to concentrate on her physical pain, which was much more preferable to her than Olivia’s voice. Her temple pulsated rhythmically, and she found it easy to focus on that.

She envisioned the goose egg on her head as a beacon, a mechanical monstrosity set below her hairline to protect her from unpleasantries. She even imagined its engineering: Whenever an unpleasant thought or word would enter her vicinity, Bartholomew, the noble beacon, would radiate pain, cueing a mental filter that would spring up with lightning speed to net anything that threatened her internal peace.

“Olivia, don’t talk about Katie like that.” Lucas’s calm voice was infused with impatience. “She’s my friend; we’re practically cousins.”

A short, maniacal laugh burst forth from Olivia. “She’s no more your cousin than I am! I’ll tell you exactly what she is: She’s a con artist!”

Katie focused on Bartholomew the Beacon, who was vigorously carrying out his job. Her head raged with pain. Any second now, the filter would go up and block out the spiteful Olivia.

“You don’t think she knows she’s the strongest thread between your family and your uncle in the States? She’s totally taking advantage of all of you.”

Cue the filter! Where the hell is the filter?
Bartholomew was zealously firing off the alarm to an unreliable filter while the militia of Olivia’s words marched right through her brain. Katie’s only form of relief was Kamikaze Lottie, who had flung herself at Katie’s side, acting as an ineffective shield against Olivia’s sound.

The assault raged on. “Lucas, she is jeopardizing our relationship. You’re giving her privileges that should be mine. It should have been
me
bringing out the Chatworth diamonds—it was
my
right, as your fiancée!
This
should be
me
!”

In the next room, heads swiveled back to Katie for answers. Even the act of shrugging her innocence was painful.

“She is not jeopardizing our relationship, Olivia. We broke up. There is no relationship.”

“Because of her.”

“Because of
you.
Because I never realized how shallow you were—
are.
Let’s make sure we have a couple of things crystal clear.” His tone turned crisp and frightful. “Those diamonds belong to
Sidney.
Not me, not my family. You would have had absolutely no claim to them. They belonged to Sidney’s wife, and whatever value they hold is of no importance to anyone in this family. Nobody is to know that Sidney owns these pieces.
Do I make myself clear?
”

By her nearly inaudible squeak, it was obvious that Olivia was not accustomed to being reprimanded. “I don’t want us to be over. I think you should take some time to reconsider.” Olivia’s voice shook with panic.

“What’s to reconsider?” There was a sardonic amusement in his reply. “We obviously don’t know each other that well. I had no idea how manipulative, materialistic, and just plain mean you were—
are.
And I don’t think you really understand my circumstances. I have no claim to any of this.” He gestured to the room. “I don’t own my home in London. It belongs to Uncle Avery. If you believe your own accusations, then it would one day become Katie’s. All I can lay claim to is my business and what I have in the bank—and that’s plenty for me.”

Olivia’s face must have betrayed her ignorance about his future worth, causing him to belt a cynical laugh.

“I thought you might see things a bit differently,” Lucas said softly. “You can keep the ring. I don’t want it.”

The next thing Katie heard was the slamming of the front door, followed by a very full silence.

“Hello Chicken. Did you have a nice chat with Olivia?” Lottie cooed innocently, having just returned to her white overstuffed armchair as Lucas strode into the room.

Her innocent smile eased a bit of the trouble from his face.

“Hello Mum.” Kissing the top of her child-size head, he laid the morning’s paper in her lap. Since Katie had the whole sofa to herself, she pulled her legs toward her chest and offered Lucas the cushion at the other end. He took the offered seat and swept a reproachful gaze over the group, who were behaving a little too casually.

“You can drop the charade—all of you. Am I supposed to believe you lot have suddenly developed scruples against eavesdropping?”

A guilty silence hovered over the room. Now that Lucas was present, everyone pretended to respect his privacy. After what seemed like forever, but according
to
the wall clock was only a couple of minutes, Katie wanted to scream, just to hear something other than the abnormally loud ticking of said clock, but Lottie beat her to it.

“Tina Turner and the Holy Trinity!”
Lottie shouted.

Poor Mrs. Albright let out a startled yelp and almost fell over backward in her armchair. Fortunately, Geoffrey was right there to hold her hand and help calm her heart.

Lottie held out the front page of the newspaper’s gossip section. Holding the prominent place was the headline:

Much More
Than
Scandal Unearthed at Waverlys’ Annual Charity Ball

             
Underneath was a photo of Katie and Lucas at the ball. Despite her utter shock, Katie was relieved and flabbergasted at how pretty (and thin) she looked.

Lottie cleared her throat and read the article aloud.

Those in attendance at the eighth annual charity ball hosted by Lord and Lady Waverly couldn’t help but hear the whispers about American newcomer Kathryn Sutherland.

An inconnue to most, she seemed no stranger to Lady Waverly. This young woman took center stage when she turned up on the arm of Lucas Hayden, proprietor of the reputable Hayden Travel consulting firm and fiancé of Olivia Denby, daughter of M.P. Gordon Denby, wearing diamonds recognized as part of the private Chatworth collection.

For those readers who have been keeping their heads in the sand, the Chatworth collection, which hasn’t been seen in circulation for more than sixty years, is believed to include pieces that contain cuts of the Excelsior Diamond. The Excelsior, known for its bluish-white tint, was the largest diamond second to the Cullinan. In 1904, the Excelsior was cut into 21 pieces; each was sold individually.
Many of the buyers remained anonymous; however, speculations about the ownership of the diamonds are always in the minds of diamond aficionados.

The mysterious Ms. Sutherland left the ball (followed by Mr. Hayden) before this reporter could attain a private interview. Sources
say a heated row with Ms. Denby may have been the reason for her early exit (meow!).

I was able to ascertain, however, that Ms. Sutherland was wearing a silver shimmer, off-the-shoulder floor-length, which was overheard to be a Greta. When asked about her gown, Ms. Sutherland reportedly flashed her pearly American whites and replied that there is only one Greta.

Debuting her new designer, new man, and old jewels, Ms. Sutherland has become quite a person of intrigue.

Other notes of interest…

Lottie turned the page and gasped again, showing the group a second picture of Lucas and Katie entering his gate, with a saucer-eyed Katie wearing his tuxedo jacket, looking surprised and guilty to be caught in the predawn light.

“I’m
gobsmacked
. You could absolutely knock me over with a feather,” Lottie proclaimed.

Katie pressed back into the arm of the couch until the she could feel the wooden frame digging into her back. For some reason she’d rather be uncomfortable than feel the numbness that was threatening to take over.

“That’s good publicity, that,” Geoffrey plugged.

“They’ve made me out to be a total skank,” Katie squeaked.

“A what?”
Sidney asked.

“A
skank
,” Katie repeated.

“A slapper,” Lottie said.

“A tart,” Mrs. Albright supplied.

“A trollop,” Geoffrey put in for good measure.

“A floozy,” Lottie added.

“Okay, that’ll do. I think he gets the idea.” Lucas took control before his mother could continue.

“Take heart, dear, at least you’re not the only one who appears to have loose morals. Lucas comes off as a fantastic lecher,” Lottie taunted. “It does me heart proud: me niece a slapper and me son a rounder.”

“Mother,” Lucas warned reprovingly.

“At any rate, that top one is a smashing picture of the both of you,” Mrs. Albright doted.

“How come I’ve never heard of a Greta gown? I must get one,” complained Lottie.

Katie’s thoughts were a blur. She couldn’t tell where the effects of the golf ball ended and the shock of the article began. She tried to sort out the jumble of the last two days, carefully mulling over the tender spots. Lucas and Olivia were arguing because of her…and after that article, Olivia had even more reason to hate her. And Sidney had been so generous to let her wear his wife’s jewelry…and now every wealthy citizen in London and beyond would be trying to get their polished hands on them.

As for her own interest, she couldn’t help but feel a little smug. The one time in her life where she took the perfect photo—wearing a tiara, no less—it got delivered to nearly every home in the United Kingdom. And though she would never admit it out loud, it was a teeny tiny bit satisfying to have Olivia slighted so publicly; it bolstered Katie’s belief in karma. But then there was that dreadful skanky photo of Katie outside of Lucas’s place….